-Flashback-
Legolas stared deathly at the pale limp elf that lay broken before him… everything was going hazy just then… the one person that could have saved him from his own feelings was gone. He was alone. "Haldir…" He breathed softly as he stroked the silver lit blond hair. "No…no… NO! You can't die! NO!…no" He pleaded but the figure did not budge.
"Legolas…"
"… Why? Why him? Why not me?" Legolas said softly as he continued to stroke the fallen elf's cheek.
"I'm really sorry…."
"It's not your fault… so don't be." Legolas snapped back, his eyes still upon Haldir. He wanted to die… he wish he had died.
"… It isn't yours either…"
"You don't know…" Legolas breathed, "You don't know what I put him through…" With that he drew out a dagger and flung it at his breast.
"NO!" Aragorn cried as he grasped the elf's wrist before any damage was done.
"Let go of me!" Legolas struggled against the grip before the dagger was wrenched out of his grasp. He looked up with teary eyes only to see Aragorn's bloody hands. "I… I'm sorry…." He said gently as he looked toward his friend, "I'm sorry…"
"… It's all right… it's going to be fine…" Aragorn whispered as his arms trailed around the elf's slender waist.
"… Is it? Because I don't see how it's ever going to be…" Legolas said through his teeth as he dug his fingers into his wrists so hard that they left red imprints, "I should have been better to him… He loved me so much… he did not deserve this!" With that fresh tears splashed down his sapphire blue eyes.
"… Do not blame yourself…" Aragorn whispered as he tilted the elven prince's face towards him.
"… You don't understand… you don't understand…" It was all the beautiful elf could utter before he passed out in his grief. Aragorn carried him slowly to his room and let him rest.
Hours passed…
"Legolas?" Aragorn looked up to see the blond elf stumbling towards him, "You're… you're drunk."
"… Drunk? Don't be ridiculous… I'm an elf… I do not get drunk…" He said with a soft chuckle. But it was clear that his cheeks were rosy and his vision was hazy.
"Legolas sit down…" Aragorn whispered, "Get some rest… you have been through a lot…"
"… Really? Then how come I am unscathed?"
"I meant emotionally…"
"… Emotionally? I am fine… Why shouldn't I be fine?" Legolas said stuttering as he reached the bed, "I mean… The person I loved is dead… and you know what? I'm still alive. I am not even hurt! He was always there to save me… but I couldn't even save him once!"
"Legolas stop it… you are being much to hard on yourself."
The elf suddenly grew painfully silent and nearly collapsed. Aragorn said nothing as he lifted the elf into his arms and laid him upon the bed. He started to pull the covers over the slender figure.
"He would sit with me every night…" Legolas said softly, "After… that night…"
Aragorn had often wondered what happened the night before Haldir and Legolas met. He stroked the elf's hair as he spoke to feed his curiosity. "What happened… that night…?"
"This man… he wanted me… ever since he saw me… I did not think that much of it… till one night… that night he came to me… I tried to fight him… but I couldn't and he raped me…" The blond elf's eyes dropped for a moment as he moaned softly putting a hand over his head… the images were coming to him once more. "… It was Haldir who found me…"
Aragorn stared in disbelief and sorrow… and a bit of rage. This was the last thing he had expected, "Legolas…" He breathed as he lifted the elf into his arms; Legolas stirred but said nothing.
"Aragorn…" The elf said suddenly as he pulled the human close, "I want you…"
"Legolas… you don't know what you're saying… you're just hurt…"
"Yes I do…" Legolas said in spite of the dizziness, he began to nibble at Aragorn's neck, and Aragorn could not deny that he wanted this. He wanted the elf… the only one he had truly desired and loved. Slowly, they both gave into desire.
-End Flashback-
"Haldir…" Legolas whispered as fresh tears leaked down his face once more, 'I betrayed him… I did not even wait one day!' He wanted to die terribly, he wanted to be given some of the pain that he thought he deserved. He looked towards the sleeping figure beside him. He did not want to face the human in the morning, where they would have to part and he would be left to his own darkness once more.
"I love you so much Aragorn…." He whispered as he began to pick up the dagger and prick at his own wrists, "I love you so much…" Blood trickled down endlessly as a painful smile came over the beautiful elf's face. He soon moved up his arm… still crying and smiling at the same time.
-Flashback-
"… Legolas… I…"
"I want nothing to do with you…" The elf whispered in his broken condition, "I'm sorry… I'm sorry about everything… and no one has to know about any of it… "
"…But I…"
"Please…" Legolas begged softly, "Please … you have Princess Arwen…"
"I love you…" Aragorn said as he reached out to cradle the beauty.
"It is your wedding in a little bit… go… please… I would die if I knew that I ruined your life as well as Haldir's…" Legolas smiled forcefully.
Aragorn had nothing to say but he reached out to embrace the elf, who only backed away.
-End Flashback-
Aragorn awoke slowly as dawn crept up upon them. He looked up to see Legolas standing, staring towards the horizon. He saw that blood was trickling endlessly down the elf's arm. Legolas did not seem to care as he dropped the bloody dagger on the ground.
"Legolas…" Aragorn whispered, in both pain and grief, "Why?"
"…Here…" Legolas replied as he tossed the human a sword and smiled, "One last duel."
"No… I will not fight you."
"Why not?" Legolas whispered gently, "What of all the times we did when we were young?"
"… Because things have changed…. And I will not allow you anymore chances of hurting yourself."
"… What do you care about hurting me? You've done a lot more to me with your words and touch than your sword ever could." Legolas snapped as bitterly as he could. He was trying to hurt Aragorn as much as he can…
Aragorn could think of nothing more to say about this.
"Draw your sword… son of Arathorn…" Legolas whispered as he picked up his own. He knew that Aragorn could defeat him one handed but he did not care, that was what he wanted.
"… No…" Aragorn replied simply.
"If you cared about me half as much as you said you did… you would draw your sword…"
"… I said I would not…"
"Do it…" Legolas said as his voice broke and his trembling blade pressed against Aragorn's neck.
"Go ahead… dig into my flesh and let the blood come down if it makes you feel better."
Legolas lowered his sword and stared wrathfully. "Fine…" He, instead, slammed the blade into his own palm and watched his own blood come down. "Better? Aragorn?" He said as he looked towards the one he loved.
"Legolas… Stop!" Aragorn cried as he moved towards the beautiful elf. Legolas's long flowing blond hair was stained at the tips by a soft crimson blood and his eyes were blazed with tears.
"Will you draw your sword?"
Aragorn did as he was bid and waited. The two fought for a while, Legolas charging with all his strength while Aragorn only defended himself yet did nothing in his part. He knew what he would do… if it came to that…
Legolas did not really know what he was waiting for… he wanted Aragorn to hate him, he wanted to die yet he knew that his beloved would not kill him. His last blow came hard towards the human's chest yet to his utter distress, Aragorn moved his sword away and did not defend his blow.
Legolas moved his sword away at the last second, had his skill been only a little weaker, Aragorn would have been critically wounded… if not dead. "Why…. Why did you not defend yourself? I would have killed you…" The gorgeous elf whispered as he fell onto his knees.
"I do not fear death… Legolas, I only fear losing you again… and if death be the only way you will stay with me… then that is what I want…"
Legolas stared for a moment as if he understood. With trembling and bloody hands, he kissed the king of a man passionately upon the lips and backed away. He then took the dagger and struck himself…
"NO!" Aragorn cried as he tried to wrestle the blade away but he was too late. The graceful beauty had fallen in his arms and was staring tearfully at him.
"I love you so much… Estel…" Legolas said with sorrow as his bloody yet slender hand came up to touch his beloved's face, "I loved you but I was never worthy of you…"
"… No… no you can't die… don't leave me!"
"… I'm sorry…" Legolas said amid the last of his breath, "I'm sorry… I did not want to leave you…" With that the elf passed slowly away. Aragorn only knelt there with his lover's body in his arms…
"I love you Legolas… I always have… I should have been with you… I should have been with you…." He uttered with tears streaming from his eyes. "I'm sorry…"
The strong and firmed face King held the elf gently and buried him close to the grave of another lost friend. He kissed the brow one last time before he walked slowly away…
THE END
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