Chapter six

Author's note: Wow, thanks for your wonderful reviews guys, I can't believe you all like this story so much... :) Here's another one for you!


***

Doc and Kim feverishly worked on Bosco for a few minutes before loading him onto the bus and speeding towards Mercy hospital. Faith was allowed to sit in the back right next to him, but couldn't recall much of the ride beside the fact that she couldn't bring herself to leave her partner's hand unheld.

A small crowd of doctors and nurses were waiting for him at the hospital. They rushed him to the ER as soon as the bus stopped, the attending doctor immediately shouting orders to his staff. "Where to?" he asked.

"Trauma three." one of the nurses replied.

Doc gripped Faith's shoulder and gently guided her out of the room as they moved him from the gurney to the table. "Bosco, I'll be right outside." she whispered as she let go of his hand. "Hang on."

The sliding doors closed behind her, but her gaze remained on her partner, and she prayed with all her strenght that he would get through this.

Inside the trauma room, the doctor shot a worried look at the still body on his emergency table. His hands, already soaked with blood, began chest compressions as he cursed under his breath. "There's too much damage.."

The nurse at the monitor shook her head. "No pulse, BP's dropping." she reported. I don't know, Doc..."

"Not on my shift..." he whispered. "Not on my shift. How long has he been down?" he asked, his eyes glancing at the wall clock above him.

"Five minutes."

"Get the paddles and charge them to 200!"

"Ready."

"Clear!" he yelled, placing the paddles on Bosco's chest. His body arched.

"Nothing."

"Dammit!" the doctor whispered. "Come on, officer, stay with us... stay with us! ... Charge to 300!"

"Charged."

"Clear!"

Faith winced every time the burst of electricity shook her partner's body. She closed her eyes and shared his pain. Come on, Bosco, fight. I know you can do that. Fight to live.

"We've got a pulse!" one of the nurses announced.

"Good." the doctor smiled. "Hang in there, buddy." He wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Let's get him up to the OR!"

Faith opened her eyes at the sound of the doors slide open, and saw Dr. Thomas and a couple of nurses wheeling Bosco towards the elevator. "How is he?" she heard herself ask as she followed them.

"We have him stabilized right now, but it's too soon to tell." the doctor said. "He's going up to surgery. There's a waiting room if you want to come."

"Sure. I'll be up in a minute."

She walked back to the nurse's desk and broke the news to her fellow officers and her paramedic friends.

"Come on, Faith." Kim's voice emerged from the group. "Let's get you cleaned up." she said, pointing to her bloody hands.

She silently followed her to the restroom and then up to the waiting area next to the operating rooms. She chose a corner chair and sit staring at the wall in front of her. A picture of red flowers stared back at her, and she wondered who designed those rooms, or decided what kind of pictures and chairs to place where people spent endless hours waiting for news on their loved ones.

She couldn't help picturing Bosco lying on the operating table as the doctors tried to save his life. Fight Bosco, she prayed. I need you. I couldn't live knowing that you died believing those words, believing that you're not a worthwhile person. You're not useless, Bosco... please come back to me.

She leaned forward. With her arms resting on her knees, she closed her eyes and let her thoughts take over. The reality of the situation finally sunk in, and she began to cry.

When she lifted her head a while later, she realized that a few people, friends mostly, were now crowding the room. She got up and approached one of them.

"Is any of this your fault?" she asked a guilt-stricken Michael. "Answer me!"

He looked back at her but couldn't find any words.

"I'm sorry." he finally managed to say.

"You're sorry." she repeated in disbelief. "Is that supposed to make me feel any better?"

"I just asked him for help..." he whispered, avoiding eye contact. "I didn't know I was being followed. You've got to believe me!"

"You know what he asked me, just before he stopped breathing in that alley? He wanted me to tell you that he doesn't blame you for what happened! Well, let me tell you something, Mikey. If he dies on that table, *I* am going to blame you, you hear me? I don't care if you weren't there when it happened, you'll be as guilty as those men who pulled the damned trigger!" she yelled, tears flooding her eyes, before walking away and disappearing down the hallway.

"Should I follow her?" Kim asked, looking at Sully.

"No." he sighed. "I think she needs to be alone right now."

***

When she came back about an hour later, the same people were still sitting in the waiting room. Kim got up and walked to her. Fear immediately stopped Faith in her tracks. "He's dead." she whispered.

"No, no, he's not!" Kim tried to reassure her.

That should make me feel better, she thought to herself. But I still feel nothing but guilt. As if all that's left is an empty body that moves, speaks and walks but feels nothing. A bleeding chest, matching my partner's one on the operating table.

"He's still in the OR." Kim continued. "He's not great, but he's holding his own."

"I... I need to sit down." she muttered, reaching for the chairs. "You should call your mother." she absently told Mikey as she passed him.


Five hours of unnerving wait later, the doctor finally appeared to tell them that Bosco had survived the surgery, although of course the next couple of days would be touch-and-go.

Faith felt drained. She tried to smile when Kim hugged her and told her that was good news, tried to be strong when Bosco's mother finally arrived and greeted her with a heartbreaking look and a consoling squeeze of the hand.

Getting too emotionally attached to your partner can be dangerous for your efficiency as a police officer. Despite her feelings for Bosco, in eight years of partnership through the worst possible scenarios, it had never been a problem. Until she'd said those words.

***

"Officer Yokas, you can see him now if you want. But only for a couple of minutes."

She immediately tensed at the doctor's words. I can't face him. I'm not ready. "Thanks, but... you should let his mother in to see him first."

"Of course. This way, ma'am." he said, motioning for Rose to follow him.

"What should we do with the kid?" Sully asked her after Bosco's mother left the room.

"I don't care." she coldly replied. "I need to call Fred."



Fifteen minutes later, she was allowed to see Bosco. The room was dark and silent, except for the beeping sound of the heart monitor. Despite the ventilator and a gash on his forehead, his face looked peaceful. You could barely tell he was fighting for his life.

Faith came closer and stood next to his bed. "Don't you dare die on me, Bosco." she whispered.

She took his hand and placed it over her heart so he could feel it beating. Feel it and maybe understand what he needed to do. "You keep fighting, you hear me? You've got to hold on... you have to fight like hell to stay with us." she urged him as her mind flashed back to another hospital room, where she saw herself repeating those very words to her husband a few months before.

"Please wake up and curse at me... I'd rather live without you than with the knowledge that one single moment of fear and confusion has cost me my best friend."

She gave his hand one last squeeze and left the room. Then without even realizing it, she found herself on the roof of the hospital, shivering in the cold winter breeze.

TBC...