Part 5
The investigation into the disappearance of Commander Riker was tedious and slow. Within a week they had determined that the same beings that were responsible were also responsible for the outbreak of war on the planet. By utilizing a mind control technique, they were able to manufacture hostility between the Perig and the Nahlu. Who these beings were and why they caused the war and took Riker still eluded them. The Enterprise remained in orbit around Hervegla IV for two months heading up the investigation. It was becoming painfully obvious that they were at a dead end. Starfleet was growing impatient with Picard's requests to remain at the forefront of the search.
"Captain Picard," Admiral Blackwell's stern face filled the COMM screen in the Captain's ready room. "The Federation would be better served if her flagship was not tied up in a matter that could be handled by a small investigative team." Picard opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off as the Admiral continued. "I understand that you have a personal stake in this, but your investigation has been at an impasse for over a month. The investigation will still remain open. We've sent the USS Grant to take over. You are to proceed to Sector 21305. There have been some reports of possible Cardassian aggression that you are to look into and neutralize. Blackwell out."
Jean Luc Picard sat back in his chair and let out a heavy sigh.
1 week later
Deanna Troi had just gotten off of her late evening bridge rotation. Entering her quarters, she immediately unfastened her constrictive uniform.
I really need to replicate a bigger uniform, she thought as she peeled the offending garments from her body.
Beginning her nightly routine, Troi stopped in front of her full-length mirror. She stood like that for several seconds simply staring at her reflection. Bringing a hand up to her face, she lightly ran her fingertips across the new lines that had formed under her eyes. Her focus then shifted to her torso. The first thing she noticed was how her breasts were becoming fuller.
Great, she thought wryly, just great.
Continuing on her path downward, she smoothed her hands over her abdomen. Her waist had thickened a bit and her stomach was just starting to round out. For the past few weeks she had been able to pass off the changes in her body as simple weight gain, but she knew that she was not going to be able to keep her secret for much longer. There were already some people whom she sensed were becoming suspicious though no one dared to ask her about it directly. The morning sickness had thankfully been minimal so she had had no trouble hiding that. To keep her secret safe for as long as possible she had simply avoided being around fellow officers outside of her regular duties and appointments.
The only person's company that she welcomed was Beverly's. Twice a week before the Counselor's bridge duty, the Doctor would come to her quarters to administer a prenatal hypospray and get a quick scan with her tricorder. The two women would then have a light meal followed by some herbal tea. They would relax for an hour, talking about everything and nothing with Beverly doing most of the talking, of course. Deanna enjoyed their time together and she found herself looking forward to it more and more. It was one of the few times where she actually felt normal. Most of the time she felt like she was simply going through the motions. The hollow void that plagued her prevented her from doing anything beyond just existing. Her ability to perform her duties had not wavered, but her inner essence had been shattered almost past the point of repair.
Having concluded her inspection, Deanna went to her bedroom and pulled a roomy cotton nightgown over her head. She retrieved her brush form the bathroom and sat on her bed and proceeded to work the tangles out of her hair. The added hormones in her system had reversed the straightening process, causing her hair to curl up again so brushing through her hair had once again become a necessary task before she went to bed.
She was working through a particularly stubborn tangle when she felt a slight tickling on her empathic senses as if someone was in the room with her. Startled, she dropped her brush and called out, "Who's there?" When there was no response she tried a different route. "Computer, who is currently located in these quarters?"
"Commander Deanna Troi is the only person located in the specified quarters."
Deanna calmed her mind and attempted to quell her nerves. The sensation had disappeared and she once again sensed that she was alone. She put her brush away before crawling into bed and calling for the light to turn off. Soon she fell into an easy sleep.
Deanna Troi was standing on the shore of Lake El-Nar, the slight breeze causing her hair and cotton nightgown to dance about her. On the wind was the faint scent of the sweet flowers of the Jalara Jungle. Wiggling her toes in the warm sand, Deanna looked out over the vast blue lake. An intense feeling of calm filled her empathic senses just before she felt a slight tug on the bottom of her nightgown. She looked down to see who was trying to get her attention and found herself lost in a pair of eyes as blue as the waters of the lake she stood before. The eyes belonged to a small cherubic face that was surrounded by a mass of dark curls. The little girl motioned for Deanna to come closer. Kneeling in the sand, she brought herself to the child's eyelevel.
"You lost him." The little girl stated matter-of-factly. She couldn't have been any more than three years old, but she spoke with an adult-like seriousness. "Don't worry, he'll come back. I promise." Her small hand reached up and brushed away a tear that had made its way down Deanna's cheek.
Joyous laughter filled the air and Troi turned around, searching for the source. On the beach behind her was an older girl building a sand castle. She was wearing a blue swimsuit and her dark curly hair was a tangled mess filled with sand.
Troi looked back to the little girl only to find that she was no longer there. The only thing that remained was the small footprints in the sand at her feet. Scanning the length of the beach, she tried to determine where the child had gone. Almost before it began, her concern for the small girl was quelled by that same feeling of peace that had bombarded her empathic senses earlier.
"Come help me build a sand castle!" The young girl tugged excitedly on Deanna's sleeve. Looking down into the bright smiling face of the young girl, Deanna became mesmerized by the pair of intense blue eyes that seemed to sparkle with delightful mischief. The persistent tug from the young girl continued until Deanna followed her over to the pile of pails and shovels.
The pair worked in silence until the massive structure was complete. As they stepped back to admire their creation, the young girl finally spoke. "You miss him terribly." A deep sadness was reflected in her blue eyes. "Don't worry, I'll bring him back to you." The sensation washed over her once again. Deanna closed her eyes, allowing the force to calm her.
A woman's voice brought Deanna back to awareness. "Do you have any sun protectant for the baby?" Opening her eyes, she was startled to find a young woman with a baby standing where the girl had been just moments before.
The woman's attention was focused on removing the handful of her dark curls that had found its way into the baby's fist. Her blue eyes shone with a deep love as she made soft cooing noises to calm the baby as it began to fuss. When the child had calmed down, the young woman shifted her attention back to Deanna. "Actually, I think I might have some in the bag. Can you hold Andrew while I check?" Before she had a chance to respond, Deanna found herself with a baby in her arms. The young woman knelt down in the sand and began rummaging around in the bag that had been slung over her shoulder.
"I understand how you feel right now, so lost and incomplete." She stood up again and her fathomless blue eyes locked with Deanna's. "I will find him, and I will bring him back to you. I swear." Gently, the young woman took the child from Deanna's arms.
"You may wake up now."
Counselor Troi woke with a start, sitting bolt upright in bed. Someone else was in her quarters again. The presence she perceived was barely a whisper on her empathic sense, but she was certain she was not alone. A small gasp escaped her lips as a slight fluttering sensation made its way across her abdomen. She recognized the feeling from the morning of her brief pregnancy cause by an alien life form. The presence she was sensing was not of some intruder in her quarters. Reality slammed down upon her with such force that she could scarcely take a breath. It was then that her pregnancy finally became a reality and not just some distant dream. She could sense her child's presence and though it was only faint, she knew that it would only get more powerful as her pregnancy progressed.
Although it was only 0700 and she did not have an appointment for several hours, Counselor Troi was far too restless to sleep any longer. Tossing her blanket aside, she got out of bed and began her morning routine. After her brief sonic shower she avoided putting on her constricting uniform until the last possible moment. Sitting at her table in her pink satin dressing robe, she read over her appointments for the day as she finished up her breakfast.
This was the morning when she finally lost the battle with her uniform. She was showing just enough that the fabric was no longer able to stretch over her expanding midsection. With a frustrated sigh she tossed the offending garment into her closet and stepped up to her replicator.
Wearing her crisp new uniform, Deanna Troi studied her reflection in her full-length mirror. She had been planning on getting her standard one piece uniform just slightly larger to compensate for her increased size, but after taking her new measurements, the computer made a different suggestion. The overly helpful measurement system compared her new specs to her former ones, put two and two together, and offered to replicate her a more comfortable alternative that was often worn by pregnant crewmembers. After much consideration she decided that it would be more practical, not to mention comfortable, to wear that uniform. She was fooling herself if she thought she would be able to keep her secret any longer.
The new uniform was much more flattering and had more room to comfortably move in. The slacks were cut a little looser and the tunic was slightly longer and flared over her hips. It still had the standard gray shoulders and blue undershirt that indicated her place in the medical field. To wear this style uniform was to announce to the entire ship that she was pregnant. She would not make any sort of official announcement, but she would no longer be able to deny anything if anyone directly asked her.
The months passed and there was still no break in the search for Commander Riker. Five months after his disappearance the case was deemed unsolvable and the investigation was halted. The day Commander Deanna Troi received notification of the halt in the investigation was the day she was forced to admit to herself that her Imzadi was not coming home, and that she would have to raise their child alone. As long as the federation had still been searching, she still had hope. That last part of her soul that was clinging to that hope finally died away and despite the growing life within her, she had never felt more alone.