Disclaimer: all characters belong to J K Rowling and Warner brothers.
a/n see bottom. To apologize for such a short chapter, chapter 15 is posted in a day! Umm… sorry, I can't post everyday (I know I know! I said it but… I was… uhh… joking? Wah! *dodges eggs*). Time constraints during the weekday, please forgive me!! Pleaasee! But... I'm not that evil... at least I don't post every other week, right? *hides*
I know that was a bad place to chop a chapter, but I already divided the chapters and there was really no place to put that chunk without messing all my other chapters up. Okay! Fine! I admit it... I was lazy... *cries*
Cheating Death
By neutral
Chapter fifteen - cheating a friend yet again
"What?" James asked softly, making an obvious effort to restrain himself. He sat up stiffly to meet Sirius' gaze. His brown eyes were hard with a mixture of anger and disbelief.
Sirius turned away, unable to face his friend. How could he? He had killed James' only son when all he ever asked from him was to keep him safe. He had shattered everything.
"Sirius!" James seized Sirius' shoulder, twisting him around to face him. There was a frantic glint in his face, his voice harsh. "Tell me. Tell me what happened!"
Sirius averted his gaze, unable to meet the piercing eyes. After years of friendship, he repaid them by talking their lives and sacrificing the life of their only son. He could only guess the thoughts of anger and treachery passing through James' mind.
"I was stupid, I was careless! I got captured only a week after the tournament," Sirius said, almost to himself. "Harry dreamt about it, he knew where I was. He knew I was in trouble. He hid his invisibility cloak and broom and let himself get caught so he could trade himself for me," Sirius choked on his words, hiding his face in Harry's hair; it was like he was back at Remus' guest bedroom with Harry's icy body in his arms. "But I didn't leave. Voldermort fought him; Harry was completely outnumbered, and I couldn't do anything! I probably made things worse…"
Beside him, James froze. The knuckles around his fist were white and bloodless as he clutched his wand.
"You know what I did, James?" Sirius whispered. "I tried to kill him! I broke his arm and tried to choke him, and he almost died! Even Harry's stronger than me. He would have resisted the imperious curse easily, but me? I completely fell under it. By the time I broke it, he could barely move! And then he died when he blocked the killing curse, all to save me. James, it was completely my fault!"
All the color drained from James' face. The hand against his shoulder slacked, and all the strength seemed to sap from his body. He sank back down heavily.
James was silent for a long time, he was afraid of speaking, fearful that his words would betray that hidden frustration. He kept his expression unreadable as he stared out at the trees below. There was a tense silence between the two, where James stared out unseeingly from the cliff, and Sirius held Harry close to him, both lost in their own thoughts. A soft moan caught their attention; Harry shifted slightly, cracking an eye open.
"Harry?" Sirius asked tentatively.
Harry squinted, turning his head in his godfather's direction. His voice sounded strained as he spoke, and he coughed weakly, "Glasses…"
"Here," Sirius shuffled through his pocket, drawing out a hand full of plastic and broken glass. There were repaired with a tap of his wand, and he slipped them on Harry's face.
Harry blinked as the world came sharply into focus. He looked around disorientedly for a minute before his eyes widened in shock.
"Sirius!" he gasped out, struggling to sit up. Sirius pushed him back insistently, but Harry caught his wrist, grasping it with a surprisingly strong hold. "This isn't the room! What are you…," he broke off, coughing raggedly.
Sirius held him still, unnerved by his reaction. "Harry, its alright," he said as reassuringly as possible.
"No!" Harry retorted, sounding amazingly determined for someone so wasted. "You're not suppose to be here. You're suppose to be alive!," Harry glared, but the glazed expression looked delirious. His tone was pleading when he spoke again. "Sirius, what did you do?"
Sirius felt a brief stab of guilt and pain for the concern Harry shown towards him. He extracted his wrist slowly, forcing him to lie back down. "It's a charm," he said as soothingly as he could. "I came to see you. I'm not dead, so don't worry, okay?"
Harry stared at him with a piercingly; it was hard to tell whether he believed it or not. But with James watching their exchange silently, Sirius couldn't help but feel blameworthy for stealing all his son's affection. What could be going on in his mind? he couldn't help but wonder. To feel anger at his friend for being the cause of his son's death, only to have his son throw it back at him.
"Look who else is here, Harry," Sirius said gently, helping him into a sitting position.
There was confusion in his face, as if Harry wasn't completely coherent. Sirius was sure if he was wide awake and thinking clearly, he would never have let the subject of the charm drop. But instead, Harry showed no bafflement at seeing his father, only undiluted delight and excitement.
"Dad?" Harry smiled brightly, and James couldn't help but smile back.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, fondly pushing some stray hair from Harry's eyes.
Harry closed his eyes again, leaning back into Sirius' embrace, almost as if the entire endeavor was too tiring for him. "Alright…"
James looked at Harry disapprovingly for the rather blatant lie, knowing that his son couldn't see. But his expression soon softened again, replaced by concern, "We need to get Harry out of here. We can't apparate in this place, and my house is too far north for us to travel in Harry's condition. There's a small cottage downhill that belongs to Thomas…"
"No!" Harry's eyes snapped open. He tried to sit again with difficulty. "Not Thomas, he's…" Harry broke off, words interrupted by coughs that raked his body. Sirius patted his back soothingly, James blinked in surprise.
"Harry, we can't stay here," James said.
Harry shook his head angrily, still trying to control his coughs. "No! Not Thomas…"
James frowned, "Harry, are you alright?"
"No!" Harry gasped out. "Thomas is…"
"James, Harry doesn't usually jump to conclusions unless he as a reason," Sirius said, turning to James worriedly. "Is there somewhere else we can stay?"
James looked at Sirius questioningly. But under Sirius' insistent stare, James reluctantly nodded.
"We can go to Diggle's. He's not that much further."
Harry groaned audibly, murmuring something about a "Humble Lockhart" that made Sirius chuckle.
"Lockhart? Wasn't he that blockhead four years below us?" James asked, raising an eyebrow at their exchange.
"He became quite the celebrity and tried to use Harry as publicity back in second year, or so I heard," Sirius said. "I don't know any of the details though, but Harry absolutely detested him."
"Not that much…" Harry mumbled, giving his godfather a small smile.
James shook his head, amused. "Okay, there's another residence, but it'll take a much longer walk. I don't know him very well; from what I've heard, he's rather young and wasn't here very long. Diggory, I think his name is."
Both Sirius and Harry had gone pale at his statement. Harry was rigid, eyes wider than James thought would be possible, with an empty gaze in them that sent a shiver down his spine. Sirius looked at him, troubled.
"Cedric?" Harry whispered, a tremor audible in his voice.
"You know him?"
"Perhaps we better go to Diggle's," Sirius cut in sharply.
"No," Harry struggled weakly to turn towards his father again. There was desperation in his voice. "Cedric's here. I have to see him!"
James listened them blankly; there was something that he didn't know, something that concerned Harry. Sirius, catching James' expression, shook his head
"Sirius, don't you understand?" Harry gasped out. "I have to…"
"Harry, just calm down for a moment!" Sirius pushed his godson back down, keeping a firm hand against his shoulder. But James forced him out of the way roughly.
"Stop! You could be hurting him," he snapped angrily. But one glance at Sirius' face, James realized he must have struck him in a way he never imagined. Sirius' blue eyes were wide with horror, looking as if someone had just stabbed him and twisted the knife in his gut.
At the slight hesitation, Harry pulled away, stumbling on the rocky floor on unsteady feet. By some miracle, he managed to stay standing, face contorted in pain and legs shaking under the weight. James barred the path quickly, catching Harry when he swayed too far forward, unnerved by the wild glint in his son's eyes.
"I have to see him!" Harry shot back, the cough returning full force. "I have to see… how he's doing. Tell him…" he broke off again, trembling. He leaned against James heavily, squeezing his eyes shut as he gasped for breath between each cough.
"Harry, stop, that's enough," Sirius looked at him with concern.
"Harry, we'll go to Cedric's," James said, mostly to pacify him.
Harry nodded jerkily, face buried in James' robes, breath coming in short gasps as he trembled with the force of his coughs. Sirius patted his back soothingly, but it seemed only to aggravate him. Sighing in defeat, James drew out his wand and Harry fell forward lifelessly.
"Harry!" Sirius practically shoved James aside as he caught his godson, looking at the closed eyes and limp body with alarm.
"Padfoot, it's okay. It's just a sleeping charm. It'll wear off in an hour," James picked himself off the ground, pointedly glaring at his friend.
Sirius relaxed visibly, and James couldn't help but catch the look of complete and pure affection as if he child he held was his own son. Harry was important to him, much more important than himself in his eyes. Sirius had never wanted Harry to die, but it was never within his own control.
And yet…
James bit his lip, unable to hide a flicker of anger towards his friend for failing to protect the one person both he and Lily died for. They had begged that of him. They had given him that burden. But at the sight of Sirius, normally composed and full of life and energy reduced into a wan, haunted man, he couldn't seem to keep it.
"Sirius," James knelt down beside his friend, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I don't blame you."
*
Just in case anyone wonders, Harry doesn't know he has a chance yet. I didn't handle that conversation well. Ack.
Yes! Candies for Keara! *dances* It's a secret why you get them though *wink wink* You'll see soon though
But that's because the first few chapters are good. Gaby's too kind! I'll disappoint everyone with the middle chapters. I actually like the ending though *smiles evilly*
Don't worry Tilly & MercS! Tons of Sirius coming up soon. He's one of my favorite characters too *grins*
Oh, I almost forgot! I'll mail the chapters to you in html format soon Lily! Sorry!
Umm.. Is the chapter really that short? But hey, I post a lot more than most authors! If I really wanted to torture you, I'd post then leave for two weeks. *nudge nudge*
Not a cliffe! See? See?
Umm… my dog is making weird gurgling noises. Uh oh.
a/n see bottom. To apologize for such a short chapter, chapter 15 is posted in a day! Umm… sorry, I can't post everyday (I know I know! I said it but… I was… uhh… joking? Wah! *dodges eggs*). Time constraints during the weekday, please forgive me!! Pleaasee! But... I'm not that evil... at least I don't post every other week, right? *hides*
I know that was a bad place to chop a chapter, but I already divided the chapters and there was really no place to put that chunk without messing all my other chapters up. Okay! Fine! I admit it... I was lazy... *cries*
Cheating Death
By neutral
Chapter fifteen - cheating a friend yet again
"What?" James asked softly, making an obvious effort to restrain himself. He sat up stiffly to meet Sirius' gaze. His brown eyes were hard with a mixture of anger and disbelief.
Sirius turned away, unable to face his friend. How could he? He had killed James' only son when all he ever asked from him was to keep him safe. He had shattered everything.
"Sirius!" James seized Sirius' shoulder, twisting him around to face him. There was a frantic glint in his face, his voice harsh. "Tell me. Tell me what happened!"
Sirius averted his gaze, unable to meet the piercing eyes. After years of friendship, he repaid them by talking their lives and sacrificing the life of their only son. He could only guess the thoughts of anger and treachery passing through James' mind.
"I was stupid, I was careless! I got captured only a week after the tournament," Sirius said, almost to himself. "Harry dreamt about it, he knew where I was. He knew I was in trouble. He hid his invisibility cloak and broom and let himself get caught so he could trade himself for me," Sirius choked on his words, hiding his face in Harry's hair; it was like he was back at Remus' guest bedroom with Harry's icy body in his arms. "But I didn't leave. Voldermort fought him; Harry was completely outnumbered, and I couldn't do anything! I probably made things worse…"
Beside him, James froze. The knuckles around his fist were white and bloodless as he clutched his wand.
"You know what I did, James?" Sirius whispered. "I tried to kill him! I broke his arm and tried to choke him, and he almost died! Even Harry's stronger than me. He would have resisted the imperious curse easily, but me? I completely fell under it. By the time I broke it, he could barely move! And then he died when he blocked the killing curse, all to save me. James, it was completely my fault!"
All the color drained from James' face. The hand against his shoulder slacked, and all the strength seemed to sap from his body. He sank back down heavily.
James was silent for a long time, he was afraid of speaking, fearful that his words would betray that hidden frustration. He kept his expression unreadable as he stared out at the trees below. There was a tense silence between the two, where James stared out unseeingly from the cliff, and Sirius held Harry close to him, both lost in their own thoughts. A soft moan caught their attention; Harry shifted slightly, cracking an eye open.
"Harry?" Sirius asked tentatively.
Harry squinted, turning his head in his godfather's direction. His voice sounded strained as he spoke, and he coughed weakly, "Glasses…"
"Here," Sirius shuffled through his pocket, drawing out a hand full of plastic and broken glass. There were repaired with a tap of his wand, and he slipped them on Harry's face.
Harry blinked as the world came sharply into focus. He looked around disorientedly for a minute before his eyes widened in shock.
"Sirius!" he gasped out, struggling to sit up. Sirius pushed him back insistently, but Harry caught his wrist, grasping it with a surprisingly strong hold. "This isn't the room! What are you…," he broke off, coughing raggedly.
Sirius held him still, unnerved by his reaction. "Harry, its alright," he said as reassuringly as possible.
"No!" Harry retorted, sounding amazingly determined for someone so wasted. "You're not suppose to be here. You're suppose to be alive!," Harry glared, but the glazed expression looked delirious. His tone was pleading when he spoke again. "Sirius, what did you do?"
Sirius felt a brief stab of guilt and pain for the concern Harry shown towards him. He extracted his wrist slowly, forcing him to lie back down. "It's a charm," he said as soothingly as he could. "I came to see you. I'm not dead, so don't worry, okay?"
Harry stared at him with a piercingly; it was hard to tell whether he believed it or not. But with James watching their exchange silently, Sirius couldn't help but feel blameworthy for stealing all his son's affection. What could be going on in his mind? he couldn't help but wonder. To feel anger at his friend for being the cause of his son's death, only to have his son throw it back at him.
"Look who else is here, Harry," Sirius said gently, helping him into a sitting position.
There was confusion in his face, as if Harry wasn't completely coherent. Sirius was sure if he was wide awake and thinking clearly, he would never have let the subject of the charm drop. But instead, Harry showed no bafflement at seeing his father, only undiluted delight and excitement.
"Dad?" Harry smiled brightly, and James couldn't help but smile back.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, fondly pushing some stray hair from Harry's eyes.
Harry closed his eyes again, leaning back into Sirius' embrace, almost as if the entire endeavor was too tiring for him. "Alright…"
James looked at Harry disapprovingly for the rather blatant lie, knowing that his son couldn't see. But his expression soon softened again, replaced by concern, "We need to get Harry out of here. We can't apparate in this place, and my house is too far north for us to travel in Harry's condition. There's a small cottage downhill that belongs to Thomas…"
"No!" Harry's eyes snapped open. He tried to sit again with difficulty. "Not Thomas, he's…" Harry broke off, words interrupted by coughs that raked his body. Sirius patted his back soothingly, James blinked in surprise.
"Harry, we can't stay here," James said.
Harry shook his head angrily, still trying to control his coughs. "No! Not Thomas…"
James frowned, "Harry, are you alright?"
"No!" Harry gasped out. "Thomas is…"
"James, Harry doesn't usually jump to conclusions unless he as a reason," Sirius said, turning to James worriedly. "Is there somewhere else we can stay?"
James looked at Sirius questioningly. But under Sirius' insistent stare, James reluctantly nodded.
"We can go to Diggle's. He's not that much further."
Harry groaned audibly, murmuring something about a "Humble Lockhart" that made Sirius chuckle.
"Lockhart? Wasn't he that blockhead four years below us?" James asked, raising an eyebrow at their exchange.
"He became quite the celebrity and tried to use Harry as publicity back in second year, or so I heard," Sirius said. "I don't know any of the details though, but Harry absolutely detested him."
"Not that much…" Harry mumbled, giving his godfather a small smile.
James shook his head, amused. "Okay, there's another residence, but it'll take a much longer walk. I don't know him very well; from what I've heard, he's rather young and wasn't here very long. Diggory, I think his name is."
Both Sirius and Harry had gone pale at his statement. Harry was rigid, eyes wider than James thought would be possible, with an empty gaze in them that sent a shiver down his spine. Sirius looked at him, troubled.
"Cedric?" Harry whispered, a tremor audible in his voice.
"You know him?"
"Perhaps we better go to Diggle's," Sirius cut in sharply.
"No," Harry struggled weakly to turn towards his father again. There was desperation in his voice. "Cedric's here. I have to see him!"
James listened them blankly; there was something that he didn't know, something that concerned Harry. Sirius, catching James' expression, shook his head
"Sirius, don't you understand?" Harry gasped out. "I have to…"
"Harry, just calm down for a moment!" Sirius pushed his godson back down, keeping a firm hand against his shoulder. But James forced him out of the way roughly.
"Stop! You could be hurting him," he snapped angrily. But one glance at Sirius' face, James realized he must have struck him in a way he never imagined. Sirius' blue eyes were wide with horror, looking as if someone had just stabbed him and twisted the knife in his gut.
At the slight hesitation, Harry pulled away, stumbling on the rocky floor on unsteady feet. By some miracle, he managed to stay standing, face contorted in pain and legs shaking under the weight. James barred the path quickly, catching Harry when he swayed too far forward, unnerved by the wild glint in his son's eyes.
"I have to see him!" Harry shot back, the cough returning full force. "I have to see… how he's doing. Tell him…" he broke off again, trembling. He leaned against James heavily, squeezing his eyes shut as he gasped for breath between each cough.
"Harry, stop, that's enough," Sirius looked at him with concern.
"Harry, we'll go to Cedric's," James said, mostly to pacify him.
Harry nodded jerkily, face buried in James' robes, breath coming in short gasps as he trembled with the force of his coughs. Sirius patted his back soothingly, but it seemed only to aggravate him. Sighing in defeat, James drew out his wand and Harry fell forward lifelessly.
"Harry!" Sirius practically shoved James aside as he caught his godson, looking at the closed eyes and limp body with alarm.
"Padfoot, it's okay. It's just a sleeping charm. It'll wear off in an hour," James picked himself off the ground, pointedly glaring at his friend.
Sirius relaxed visibly, and James couldn't help but catch the look of complete and pure affection as if he child he held was his own son. Harry was important to him, much more important than himself in his eyes. Sirius had never wanted Harry to die, but it was never within his own control.
And yet…
James bit his lip, unable to hide a flicker of anger towards his friend for failing to protect the one person both he and Lily died for. They had begged that of him. They had given him that burden. But at the sight of Sirius, normally composed and full of life and energy reduced into a wan, haunted man, he couldn't seem to keep it.
"Sirius," James knelt down beside his friend, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I don't blame you."
*
Just in case anyone wonders, Harry doesn't know he has a chance yet. I didn't handle that conversation well. Ack.
Yes! Candies for Keara! *dances* It's a secret why you get them though *wink wink* You'll see soon though
But that's because the first few chapters are good. Gaby's too kind! I'll disappoint everyone with the middle chapters. I actually like the ending though *smiles evilly*
Don't worry Tilly & MercS! Tons of Sirius coming up soon. He's one of my favorite characters too *grins*
Oh, I almost forgot! I'll mail the chapters to you in html format soon Lily! Sorry!
Umm.. Is the chapter really that short? But hey, I post a lot more than most authors! If I really wanted to torture you, I'd post then leave for two weeks. *nudge nudge*
Not a cliffe! See? See?
Umm… my dog is making weird gurgling noises. Uh oh.