Part 8

Fists clenched tightly at her sides, Deanna slowly counted down from one hundred. When she reached zero her anger had not dissipated, in fact, it had increased. Slamming her hand against the door release she walked across the shattered glass and made the short trip to the cabin next door. Not even bothering to ring the chime, she simply keyed in the access code and stepped through the door. Startled by her sudden intrusion, Riker jumped up from his position on the couch.

"How dare you?!" Her body shook with barely contained rage. "How dare you run away from me every time you are faced with the fact that I am carrying your child. This child is not going to disappear just because to refuse to accept its existence. In about ten weeks, whether you like it or not, you are going to be a father."

"Deanna, I -"
"No, let me finish." Her dark eyes contained an anger the likes of which Riker had never seen before. "When you disappeared, when all sense of you was torn from me I had no idea how in the universe I was going to live each day without you." Tears began to form, but she fought them back. "When Beverly told me that I was pregnant, the same day I had lost you, I didn't want to accept it either, but I knew that I couldn't just ignore it, couldn't make it go away." She took a shaky breath, finally loosing her battle with the tears. "It didn't take long for me to realize that I didn't want it to go away. This baby was the last connection that I still had with you and I discovered the one thing that would get me through the days." Forcing herself to meet his eyes once again she continued, "I am not going to force you to accept this child and help to raise it. All I am asking right now is for you to acknowledge that she does exist and to promise me that you will stop walking out on me like that."

Riker took a deep breath and opened his mouth to respond, but no words wanted to form on his lips. Closing his mouth once again, he sighed heavily and dropped back down on to the couch, his head cradled in his hands.

"Fine. When you want to talk, you know how to find me." With that, Deanna turned on her heel and stormed out of his cabin.

Several moments passed after the door shut behind Deanna before Riker regained his power of speech. "Deanna wait!" But he made no move to go after her. "Damn it!" Another vase fell victim to their fight as it smashed against the bulkhead with a wholly unsatisfying crash. Still frustrated by his anger, but lacking the energy to hurl any more objects, Riker slumped dejectedly on the couch.

Will Riker was not ready to be a father. Aside from the feelings of inadequacy brought on by his horrible childhood and the fear of becoming his father effectively ruining the poor child's life, his entire existence had been turned completely upside down by the recent events. He no longer felt comfortable in his own skin. The ordeal had left him with a complete feeling of unease. The line between reality and imagination had been erased by his captors and he wasn't sure where he should draw that line again. He was scared and he was angry, angry with himself for letting a small child, not even born yet, scare the absolute shit out of him. On a purely intellectual level Riker knew he was pushing Deanna away as a result of his own feelings of inadequacy and fear, but he could not simply push aside the incredible panic that ran through him whenever he was faced with his future, as uncertain as it was. He still loved her. He knew that much to be true, and perhaps it would always be true.

"Damn it!" Those seemed to be the only words his mouth was capable of forming at the moment. He made a decision and activated his COMM badge. "Riker to Troi." Waiting patiently for her reply, when none came he repeated, a bit louder and with a hint of irritation. "Riker to Troi, please respond." Another pause followed.

What is it Will? He could still hear the tears in her voice.

He cleared his throat. "You have had over six months to process the situation. I have barely had a week. I need you to understand that I need time and I am terribly sorry for any hurt that I have caused you. My life needs to be set upright again before I can look ahead. Riker out." He closed the COMM channel abruptly, not giving her a chance to respond.

**I will give you the time you need, Imzadi.** Her voice echoed in his mind accompanied by a wash of calming love and forgiveness with still a measure of hurt and sadness. It seemed as though a truce was achieved, for the moment.

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The weeks that followed passed by quickly. The Enterprise returned to its mapping mission and Commander Riker's life began to return to some state of normalcy. In order to appease the good doctor so that he could return to duty as quickly as possible, Riker even began seeing one of the psychologists on Deanna's staff. After eight weeks of physical and psychological therapy he was given a clean bill of health and allowed to return to active duty with the promise that he wouldn't over do it.

Deanna was on strict orders from Dr. Crusher to take things easy and her bridge shifts and appointments were reduced slightly. The extra free time only served to make her even more restless. There were only so many times her quarters could be cleaned from top to bottom.

The couple's uneasy truce remain in tact and Deanna was silently relieved that Will was finally talking to someone about the events of his abduction, but the hurt remained because that someone was not her.

The two slowly fell back into an easy friendship. At first they were courteous and polite when their paths crossed, but neither were actively seeking out the company of the other. As Riker began to feel more and more like his old self they found themselves thrust together in social situations, mostly gatherings in Ten Forward and the weekly poker game, and an easy banter was formed once again. Deanna began noticing a subtle shift in his state of mind every day that passed. Though it seemed to the average outsider that their relationship was normal, there was still an unexplainable underlying tension that prevented them from simply picking up where they left off. It was this tension, combined with the love that she knew still remained between them that was slowly driving Troi mad.

It was poker night and this week the game was to be held in Commander Riker's quarters. Since she had already cleaned her quarters earlier that day, Deanna decided to head over to the game early and help Will set things up. If she played her cards right she might be able to get him to talk.

Ringing the chime on his door she didn't have to wait long for his reply and the door slid open to allow her access. When she stepped into his quarters Riker was nowhere to be seen. "Will," she called out and he suddenly emerged from the bedroom pulling a gray shirt over his head, obviously just coming from the shower. "I, uh -" Deanna swallowed hard. "I thought you could use some help setting up."

He ran his hands through his wet hair causing it to stand on end and flashed her a disarmingly brilliant smile. "Sure, that would be great. You know where the poker supplies are."

Deanna pulled open the storage unit as Will disappeared back into the bedroom. As she was setting out the poker chips and cards he emerged from the bedroom once again with his hair neatly combed and his uniform jacket in his hand. Tossing the garment over the back of the chair, Riker headed over to the replicator.

"One hot chocolate and one coffee." The beverages shimmered into solidity and Will turned to offer a mug to Deanna only to find her hunched over, steadying herself with one hand on the table and one hand on her abdomen. Riker was by her side in an instant. "Dea -"

After a couple deep breathes she straightened up again. "I'm fine, just a small contraction. I have been having them sporadically all day." She chuckled slightly at the look of panic that graced his features. "Don't worry, it's perfectly normal. I'm not in labor yet; the contractions would be a lot more intense and more frequent. Beverly warned me about this. She says that it's just my body's way of preparing for the event. Oh chocolate!" She greedily took the cup from his grasp and moved to sit on the couch.

Riker watched her intently as she sipped her hot chocolate until he was convinced that she indeed was not going to drop the kid right there in the middle of his quarters. Deanna unflinchingly returned his gaze, her feet propped up on the table in front of her and her hot chocolate resting on her rounded abdomen. Riker became mesmerized by the site before him.

"Deanna, I -" The door chime interrupted, breaking the spell. "Come." Riker pulled on his uniform jacket as the door slid open allowing Dr. Crusher and Captain Picard to enter the room.

"Hi Dea." Beverly greeted her friend warmly. "You look comfortable. Any more contractions since this morning?" She pulled out her ever-present tricorder.

"Another small one hit a couple minutes ago." She lowered her voice so only Beverly would hear. "It scared the hell out of Will." Beverly caught the wicked glint in her eye and the two dissolved into a fit of giggles.

The two men exchanged a look. "Can I get either of you anything to drink?" Riker easily fell into the role of the host. As he retrieved the beverages from the replicator Geordi and Data arrived and everyone took their seats at the table, everyone that is except for Deanna.
"Uh guys, can I get a little help over here, I think I'm stuck." The group burst into laughter as Riker came to her aid. "You guys try carrying a squirming three kilo kid in your abdomen and see how graceful you are." Deanna took her seat at the table next to Riker and threw her anti into the pool as the first hand of the evening was dealt out by Picard.

Deanna delightfully watched her pile of chips slowly increase as the evening wore on. It had been a while since she had had a decent night at the poker table. To further her delight, Riker was right in the middle of a pretty bad loosing streak.

"I will see your twenty and I will raise you another fifty." Deanna threw her chips into the pool and flashed an enigmatic smile to the player on her left. "Your bet Will."

His jaw twitched slightly, an almost imperceptible movement if you didn't know him as well as Deanna did. He didn't have the straight.

"I call and raise another fifty."

Everyone at the table folded and the bet quickly returned to Deanna's control. "Call." She deftly tossed her chips to the exact center of pool. "Let's see what you have."

Riker flipped his hold card. "Ten high." He eyed Deanna suspiciously. "How did you know? You didn't use your empathic sense did you?" There was a slight teasing tone in her voice.

"I'm just a better poker player than you think." She smiled sweetly as she stood to collect her winnings. As she reached across the table a sudden, intense contraction hit and she cried out in pain. Riker was immediately on his feet helping her back down to her chair. "I'm fine, thanks. That one was just a little bit stronger than the others and it took me by surprise."

Data tilted his head to the side. "Are you in labor Counselor?"

"I've been having small contractions all day, but none of them have been anything significant until just now."

Dr. Crusher already had her tricorder out. "The baby has dropped so she should be here any day, but there is no indication yet that it will be now." She patted her friend on the knee. "Just let me know if another hard contraction hits."

Everyone returned to their seats and Picard began dealing the cards once again. "The game is five card stud, deuces wild."

"I think I am going to sit this one out. If you will excuse me for a moment." Deanna rose from the table and disappeared through the bedroom and into the bathroom to freshen up.

Riker's luck began to turn and he won the next two hands. He was holding a flush, trying to determine whether or not Beverly had the cards she seemed to be betting with when Deanna's voice called out from the bedroom. "Bev, you might want to come here."

Dr. Crusher exchanged a puzzled look with the Captain before excusing herself from that table. Peaking her head into the other room she found her friend sitting calmly on the edge of the bed. "What is it Dea?"

"Since I left the table ten minutes ago two contractions have hit and my water broke."

"Are you sure?" Deanna shot her a wry look. "Of course you're sure, it's just that when I scanned you there was no indication that this would be happening so soon. Lie back, let see if you are dilated at all." Troi made herself comfortable as Dr. Crusher ran the tricorder over her once again. A small smile played across her lips. "You are at about two centimeters. Congratulations Dea, you are officially in labor." As if to punctuate her statement another contraction hit causing Deanna to roll onto her side and curl up into a ball.

It was at that moment when Riker stepped into the doorway. A look of panic crossed his features at the sight of Deanna. "What's going on?"

"Her water broke, and that," she nodded towards her friend, "is another contraction."

"She's in labor?" Riker's voice went up an octave. "Shouldn't you be going to sickbay or something?"

Dr. Crusher let out a low chuckle. "Relax Will. She's only at two centimeters; she has about eight more to go before anything more will happen. Depending how quickly she progresses, I think I will keep her here until she's at about six centimeters. It would just be more comfortable for her."

"I hate it when people talk about me like I am not in the room." Deanna was now comfortably sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed.

Beverly gave her a sheepish look. "Sorry Dea. Would you rather we go to sickbay?"

She tilted her head in thought. "You're right, it would be a lot more comfortable here and besides, it's going to be a while right?"

Beverly nodded. "Do you want anything for the pain?"

"I'm doing fine for now, but I will let you know." Her eyes slipped shut and she began the meditation her mother taught her that was to ensure a stress free birth.

The poker game disbanded and Geordi and Data left. Captain Picard remained and kept Riker company in the main room. The two sat drinking coffee and talked about ship's business. Beverly split her time between the rooms, chatting with Deanna between contractions and meditations and constantly running a tricorder over her. She shared a few cups of coffee with the Captain and Commander whenever Deanna was deep in her meditation. Three hours into the scene, after a not-so-subtle hint from Beverly, the Captain returned to his quarters for some much needed rest before duty the next morning.

The whole scene was incredibly surreal for Riker. Some how he expected thing to be a bit more chaotic. Deanna remained incredibly calm due mostly to her meditations, but the comfort of being in quarters surrounded by friends also helped. In between contractions you wouldn't even know that she was in labor. When one hit she would curl up into a ball, breathing deeply and whimpering from the pain. Every once in a while, when a particularly powerful one would hit her by surprise she would cry out in a string of profanities in her native tongue. Beverly was astounded that such a peaceful race would have so many strong, colorful words.

Riker on the other hand was a basket case. He didn't know what his role was supposed to be in all of this so after Picard had left he spent most of his time pacing restlessly. He would poke his head into the bedroom occasionally to see how Deanna was doing, but he didn't dare get too close. After about six hours he fell into a fitful sleep on the couch.

Deanna had been in labor for ten hours before Beverly declared that it was time to head down to sickbay. Once they had arrived, the Counselor became almost as restless as Riker. She wouldn't sit on the biobed, instead she walked the small space of the private room stopping only when a contraction hit.

Much to Deanna's continuing frustration Riker still kept his distance. Instead of joining her in the small room, he remained in the main area of sickbay, hovering just outside the door. She desperately wanted him to be a bigger part in this whole event, but she feared that it would be too much to ask of him. His anxiety and concern over the situation was readily apparent and she didn't want to push him into anything he couldn't handle.

After two more arduous hours Deanna was fully dilated and sitting in the birthing chair. Exhausted from the twelve-hour ordeal and the lack of sleep, Troi had trouble finding the energy to bear down.

**Imzadi** she called out with her mind, desperate to find that connection.

At the sound of her voice in his head, Riker finally found the courage to step through the door and join the scene in the private room. Remaining by the door, he observed from a distance. Controlled chaos played out before him. Various medical technicians hurried around the room preparing the swaddling and warmer for the newborn. Deanna was in the birthing chair, her eyes were closed and her breathing labored and shallow, a sheen of sweat covered her face.

"OK Dea, you are doing wonderful. I can see the head, so on the next contraction you need to push as hard as you can." Beverly tried to hide her concern over her friend's current state. When the next one hit, with all of the energy that was left within her, Deanna did as she was told. The force of her exertion left her breathless and light headed, she began to fade into unconsciousness. "Damn it Deanna, you need to stay with me!"

Riker closed his eyes and breathed deep. Concentrating solely on the beautiful Betazed, he opened up his mind. He could still feel their connection, it was still there, only narrowed. Opening his eyes once again he locked gazes with Deanna who had been startled back into consciousness by Will's actions. He knew instantly when the next contraction hit and when it did, he sent Deanna all of the strength and encouragement he could through their bond.

"Great Dea, you are doing great. The head is out and during the next contraction I just need one more push."

It didn't take long for the next contraction to come and accepting more support from Will, Deanna pushed one last time and was rewarded when the loud cry of a newborn filled the air. Tears filled her eyes as Dr. Crusher placed the squirming, fussing newborn on top of Deanna. The new mother tenderly ran her fingers over the tiny head of dark curls and instinctively counted the fingers and toes. Calming from the gentle touch, the newborn opened her eyes and let out a big yawn. "Me too Little One."

Thirty minutes later mother and baby were resting comfortably on the biobed. The newborn suckled at Deanna's breast as she marveled at the tiny person in her arms. Riker still had yet to move from his spot next to the door. The room had quieted down considerably and the only staff member present was Dr. Crusher herself who was running a tricorder over the pair on the biobed.

"She's absolutely gorgeous Dea and perfectly healthy to boot." Beverly's smile lit up her entire face. "I will hold off on that birth certificate until you've decided on a name. In the mean time, get some rest."

"I will. Thanks Bev."

"No thanks needed, you're the one that did all the work." With that she turned to leave, but right before reaching the door she turned to Riker and gave him a push. Not expecting the action, Riker stumbled forward.

"Hello, Will." Deanna's face held a bemused smile. "It's safe to come out of the corner now." Moving over to the far side of the biobed, she patted the spot next to her. Hesitantly Riker stepped forward and sat down next to her, facing her, but not meeting her eyes.

Troi let the silence hang between them for a moment before she spoke. "Thank you." Her voice was barely above a whisper. Riker opened his mouth to respond only to be silenced by a single finger on his lips. "I know I couldn't have gotten through this without you." She took a deep, shaky breath and let her hand drop. "I've missed you terribly and to have that connection back, even if it were only for a moment, it was when I had needed it the most."

Will reached out and cradled her cheek in his large hand, gently wiping the tears away with his thumb. Leaning forward he placed a tender kiss on each of her eyelids before placing a feather light kiss on her lips. Pulling back just enough to meet her eyes he said in a low voice, "I should go. You need to get some rest." Deanna nodded mutely and he rose from the biobed, tugging on his tunic. He drank in the site before him before he turned to leave.

Moments after he had gone, an image of her and the baby floated into her mind and his voice rang loud and clear. **Thank you**