Disclaimer:see chapter 1
Thanks everybody for the reviews. I really appreciate your opinion. And I hope I don't dissapoint you with this chapter. But this is just how it was all set up in my head ways before. lol. Okay, so keep the reviews coming and enjoy!
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Chapter10
It had been four days now since the incident. Logan had tried to bury himself in work, even more than usual. But in the back of his mind the events of that night seemed to repeat endlessly. He was sick of hearing those words over and over again, to see the look on Max' face, when he had told her to go. But still he couldn't forgive her for intruding his privacy and abusing his trust in her. He hadn't slept much the last few nights. He had been too upset and frustrated to relax. The few hours when sleep had finally claimed him, memories from his past had come back relentlessly, refusing to give him some rest. He had not showered for days neither had he mustered up the energy to shave. He hadn't bothered to cook either, so he was back at living on sandwiches and cereal. But he wasn't very hungry anyway. He had had Bling shouting at him for wallowing in self-pity and neglecting his workout. But he didn't care. Not even Bling's pep talks could make a difference now. After all, he admitted bitterly, the most important person in his life, the one who had kept him going day after day after the shooting,the reason for him to drag his useless ass out of bed every morning had vanished from his life, and worst of all it was his fault. But she just shouldn't have done that! Now it was too late anyway. She wouldn't talk to him, even if he could overcome his pride.
"Logan?"Bling shouted, dropping two large shopping bags on the counter."You're up?"
Logan tore his eyes from the blank stare at the computer screen, unlocked his breaks and slowly rolled towards the kitchen.
"I'm still up.."he said tiredly. Bling raised his eyebrows.
"You need some sleep man. You look like shit, if you don't mind me saying."He said pouring some orange juice into a glass and handing it over to Logan. Logan took the glass and took a sip.
"I feel better if I don't sleep. Each time I close my eyes, I see those pictures...you know, of my family. I can't stand that anymore."
He put the glass down. Bling let go of the groceries and went over to lean on the counter near Logan.
"Listen, I don't know what's eating you there, but I'm sure it would be hard on anybody to deal with stuff like that on their own. You should really talk to somebody.... Maybe someone professional." he added carefully.
"Should probably have done that years ago. But, you know it's never too late for that..."
Logan bit his lip as he felt tears well up in his eyes. The lack of sleep and the recurring nightmares had nagged on his strength. Forcing the tears back, he swallowed hard before he answered.
"I don't see what use that should be. Talking won't make things undone, right?"
"No, but it could help you deal with what happened..." Bling walked over and put a hand on Logan's shoulder.
"...all those years ago and in the last year also." He added thoughtfully. Beside the demons of his past Logan still hadn't come to terms with being in the chair. He had been offered psychological counseling right after the shooting, which was the common procedure. But he had turned all the approaches of the hospital psychologist down. He just wouldn't talk to him. Most of the time he had plainly thrown him out. Bling had been worried about that ever since, but now without Max to kick his ass now and then he could see Logan fall appart more each day.
"You just can't go on keeping everything inside."
Logan sat there staring into space. He was too tired to discuss that right now.
"Just think about it, okay Logan? It's nothing to be ashamed of. You have every right to be confused, considering what you've been through. You can't do everything on your own, nobody can be strong all the time."
"Yeah,right, fate has shown me recently that I can't do everything on my own." he said bitterly. "Seems like "the universe is right on schedule, right?"
Bling shook his head at that remark. "Come on Logan. Stop that! You have to do something! You definitely can't go on like that! Why don't you talk to Max. Tell her you're sorry. I'm sure that will help a big deal."
"I just can't do that." Logan refused, shaking his head. "She hurt me too much." he added hardly audible.
"But it's so obvious that you suffer from this situation." Bling insited. "And I can see how much you miss her already."
Logan pushed Bling's hand off his shoulder.
"I miss her like hell, but I just can't do that! I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust her again. And I don't know how to face her."
He furiously spun around and pushed his wheels as hard as he could towards his office.
"Then just give her a call and talk to her..." Bling shouted after Logan.
"For crying out loud, I can't! Why don't you just leave me alone!" Logan said staring back at the computer screen.
Max leaned her bike against the wall and strolled over to her locker. She opened it and threw in the cap she'd been wearing, along with her biker's gloves. Then she snatched off her pager from her pants and threw it in there with the other things. Damn thing had been quiet all day! She slammed the locker shut and leaned against it with her back. It had been four days now and he hadn't called. With every day that passed she became angrier and she felt them drifting appart more and more. Her anger was turning into stubbornness and the good feelings she had held for Logan before were slowly turning into fake little memories in the back of her head. Why couldn't he just call her and appologize? God, he was so stubborn! She knew that the longer he took to talk to her, the more damage would be done inside her, if she wanted or not. Some part of her loved this man more than her own life, but exactly the same part was building up a barrier inside her with every minute that passed. Hell,he had scared her. He had seemed so angry and agressive! And he had yelled at her. She wasn't going to let anyone yell at her or hurt her! Maybe Zack was right after all. She had been much too emotional. Emotions had blurred her vision, shifted her focus and only made her vulnerable...
"Hey, boo. What's up?" Original Cindy asked walking towards her.
"Hey,"Max said lamely.
"Let me take a guess; rich boy hasn't called yet!?"
"No! And I really don't care, you know!" Max snapped.
OC glared at her in disbelief. "Yeah, right. I'd be glad if you didn't. Would stop you from being in such a bad mood." She started looking through her locker for something.
" I got two tickets for this biker's contest over at South Market tonight. You wanna come?"
"Nah, I don't feel like going out tonight. Think i'm just gonna go home ,take a hot bath and relax a little...""Well, if that's what you want to do... I'll have to offer Sketchy to come then. But I'm telling you, you're missing something!"
"Have fun then" Max said, not even tempted to go.
Original Cindy sighed at Max'reaction or rather lack thereof. She leaned against the locker next to Max.
"Listen girl: Either you forget about him now and start living your life again or you get your ass over to the phone right now and ring him up to make up with him. Hear me?! I'm sick and tired of this. Men are stupid, ya know and if you're not goin' to do somethin' you two will probably be hating each other one month from now. Right?!"
"Cindy! I'm not going to call him! he yelled at me and threw me out. Forget that?"
"Well then just forget it and start having some fun again. There's gonna be a lot of nice guys over at South Market, you know..."
Max pouted and sat down on the bench near the lockers. "Why doesn't he call me? He can't seriously think that I'm going to apologize, can he?" OC sat down next to Max and took hold of her hand.
"Boo, I'm positive about him having no right to yell at my homegirl and throw her out, but 'you ever think about how he must have felt seeing you go through his stuff behind his back. You said it was somethin' personal, right?"
Max frowned. "Yeah, I suppose so..."
"MAX!! Hey you got company!" Normals shrieky voice interrupted the conversation. Max looked up and was surprised to see Bling over there standing next to her boss. She threw Cindy a puzzled look and walked over.
"Bling! What are you doing here?"
"Hey Max. You got a minute? I need to talk to you."
"Sure," she said apprehensively.
"Listen Max. I normally wouldn't do that and I know that I'm risking my friendship with Logan for what I'm about to do. But I'm really worried about him."
Max felt a little stab in her stomach at his words.
"Is he okay?" she asked, already knowing the answer. Bling shook his head.
"He does not sleep, he does not eat, he just sits in front of his computer, but he does not work either. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't really listen."
He stopped and looked Max into the eyes. "He needs you Max. Now more than ever. I'm sure he's sorry, but he's too stubborn to admit it."
Max looked down at her feet and bit her lip. "So does that mean I'm the one to appologize?... I don't think so!"
Bling reached inside his pocket and got out an envelope.
"What's that?" Max asked. "It's something I hope will make you understand Logan's reaction a little better. I'm not asking you to appologize, just read this." With that he turned and left jam Pony without another word.
Max stared at the envelope in her hand. What was that all about? She hesitantly opened the paper with her finger. Inside there was an old article from the financial times. Max' eyes flew to the date on top of the page: April 15th, 1991.
With her heart beating at the top of her throat Max started to read.
Another blow shadows this year's promising economic start of Cale Enterprise stocks
Only three months after the death of his little daughter, Jonathan Lewis Cale now announced the sudden and unexpected death of his wife. His lawyer refused to give any details on the circumstances of her death. Jonathan Cale himself was not available for a statement, but he confirmed that he will transfer all of his shares of Cale Enterprises to his brother Jonas Robert Cale. It is yet to be established what is going to happen to the newly founded "Make them smile again Foundation". Meanwhile Mr. Cale retreated to a secluded family cabin. His only son is said to be staying with family. We will still have to wait and see how the international market reacts to this tragedy...
Max put the paper down. She felt like she had been hit by a train. "Sudden and unexpected death..." So Logan had lost both his sister and his mother shortly after another! But how? Maybe she should really talk to him again. She stuffed the article in her pocket and rushed towards her motorcycle.
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Yeah, I know this was pretty short again, but I promise to post the next asap-as long as my computer lets me do that. Has been acting weird for the last few days.
Thanks everybody for the reviews. I really appreciate your opinion. And I hope I don't dissapoint you with this chapter. But this is just how it was all set up in my head ways before. lol. Okay, so keep the reviews coming and enjoy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter10
It had been four days now since the incident. Logan had tried to bury himself in work, even more than usual. But in the back of his mind the events of that night seemed to repeat endlessly. He was sick of hearing those words over and over again, to see the look on Max' face, when he had told her to go. But still he couldn't forgive her for intruding his privacy and abusing his trust in her. He hadn't slept much the last few nights. He had been too upset and frustrated to relax. The few hours when sleep had finally claimed him, memories from his past had come back relentlessly, refusing to give him some rest. He had not showered for days neither had he mustered up the energy to shave. He hadn't bothered to cook either, so he was back at living on sandwiches and cereal. But he wasn't very hungry anyway. He had had Bling shouting at him for wallowing in self-pity and neglecting his workout. But he didn't care. Not even Bling's pep talks could make a difference now. After all, he admitted bitterly, the most important person in his life, the one who had kept him going day after day after the shooting,the reason for him to drag his useless ass out of bed every morning had vanished from his life, and worst of all it was his fault. But she just shouldn't have done that! Now it was too late anyway. She wouldn't talk to him, even if he could overcome his pride.
"Logan?"Bling shouted, dropping two large shopping bags on the counter."You're up?"
Logan tore his eyes from the blank stare at the computer screen, unlocked his breaks and slowly rolled towards the kitchen.
"I'm still up.."he said tiredly. Bling raised his eyebrows.
"You need some sleep man. You look like shit, if you don't mind me saying."He said pouring some orange juice into a glass and handing it over to Logan. Logan took the glass and took a sip.
"I feel better if I don't sleep. Each time I close my eyes, I see those pictures...you know, of my family. I can't stand that anymore."
He put the glass down. Bling let go of the groceries and went over to lean on the counter near Logan.
"Listen, I don't know what's eating you there, but I'm sure it would be hard on anybody to deal with stuff like that on their own. You should really talk to somebody.... Maybe someone professional." he added carefully.
"Should probably have done that years ago. But, you know it's never too late for that..."
Logan bit his lip as he felt tears well up in his eyes. The lack of sleep and the recurring nightmares had nagged on his strength. Forcing the tears back, he swallowed hard before he answered.
"I don't see what use that should be. Talking won't make things undone, right?"
"No, but it could help you deal with what happened..." Bling walked over and put a hand on Logan's shoulder.
"...all those years ago and in the last year also." He added thoughtfully. Beside the demons of his past Logan still hadn't come to terms with being in the chair. He had been offered psychological counseling right after the shooting, which was the common procedure. But he had turned all the approaches of the hospital psychologist down. He just wouldn't talk to him. Most of the time he had plainly thrown him out. Bling had been worried about that ever since, but now without Max to kick his ass now and then he could see Logan fall appart more each day.
"You just can't go on keeping everything inside."
Logan sat there staring into space. He was too tired to discuss that right now.
"Just think about it, okay Logan? It's nothing to be ashamed of. You have every right to be confused, considering what you've been through. You can't do everything on your own, nobody can be strong all the time."
"Yeah,right, fate has shown me recently that I can't do everything on my own." he said bitterly. "Seems like "the universe is right on schedule, right?"
Bling shook his head at that remark. "Come on Logan. Stop that! You have to do something! You definitely can't go on like that! Why don't you talk to Max. Tell her you're sorry. I'm sure that will help a big deal."
"I just can't do that." Logan refused, shaking his head. "She hurt me too much." he added hardly audible.
"But it's so obvious that you suffer from this situation." Bling insited. "And I can see how much you miss her already."
Logan pushed Bling's hand off his shoulder.
"I miss her like hell, but I just can't do that! I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust her again. And I don't know how to face her."
He furiously spun around and pushed his wheels as hard as he could towards his office.
"Then just give her a call and talk to her..." Bling shouted after Logan.
"For crying out loud, I can't! Why don't you just leave me alone!" Logan said staring back at the computer screen.
Max leaned her bike against the wall and strolled over to her locker. She opened it and threw in the cap she'd been wearing, along with her biker's gloves. Then she snatched off her pager from her pants and threw it in there with the other things. Damn thing had been quiet all day! She slammed the locker shut and leaned against it with her back. It had been four days now and he hadn't called. With every day that passed she became angrier and she felt them drifting appart more and more. Her anger was turning into stubbornness and the good feelings she had held for Logan before were slowly turning into fake little memories in the back of her head. Why couldn't he just call her and appologize? God, he was so stubborn! She knew that the longer he took to talk to her, the more damage would be done inside her, if she wanted or not. Some part of her loved this man more than her own life, but exactly the same part was building up a barrier inside her with every minute that passed. Hell,he had scared her. He had seemed so angry and agressive! And he had yelled at her. She wasn't going to let anyone yell at her or hurt her! Maybe Zack was right after all. She had been much too emotional. Emotions had blurred her vision, shifted her focus and only made her vulnerable...
"Hey, boo. What's up?" Original Cindy asked walking towards her.
"Hey,"Max said lamely.
"Let me take a guess; rich boy hasn't called yet!?"
"No! And I really don't care, you know!" Max snapped.
OC glared at her in disbelief. "Yeah, right. I'd be glad if you didn't. Would stop you from being in such a bad mood." She started looking through her locker for something.
" I got two tickets for this biker's contest over at South Market tonight. You wanna come?"
"Nah, I don't feel like going out tonight. Think i'm just gonna go home ,take a hot bath and relax a little...""Well, if that's what you want to do... I'll have to offer Sketchy to come then. But I'm telling you, you're missing something!"
"Have fun then" Max said, not even tempted to go.
Original Cindy sighed at Max'reaction or rather lack thereof. She leaned against the locker next to Max.
"Listen girl: Either you forget about him now and start living your life again or you get your ass over to the phone right now and ring him up to make up with him. Hear me?! I'm sick and tired of this. Men are stupid, ya know and if you're not goin' to do somethin' you two will probably be hating each other one month from now. Right?!"
"Cindy! I'm not going to call him! he yelled at me and threw me out. Forget that?"
"Well then just forget it and start having some fun again. There's gonna be a lot of nice guys over at South Market, you know..."
Max pouted and sat down on the bench near the lockers. "Why doesn't he call me? He can't seriously think that I'm going to apologize, can he?" OC sat down next to Max and took hold of her hand.
"Boo, I'm positive about him having no right to yell at my homegirl and throw her out, but 'you ever think about how he must have felt seeing you go through his stuff behind his back. You said it was somethin' personal, right?"
Max frowned. "Yeah, I suppose so..."
"MAX!! Hey you got company!" Normals shrieky voice interrupted the conversation. Max looked up and was surprised to see Bling over there standing next to her boss. She threw Cindy a puzzled look and walked over.
"Bling! What are you doing here?"
"Hey Max. You got a minute? I need to talk to you."
"Sure," she said apprehensively.
"Listen Max. I normally wouldn't do that and I know that I'm risking my friendship with Logan for what I'm about to do. But I'm really worried about him."
Max felt a little stab in her stomach at his words.
"Is he okay?" she asked, already knowing the answer. Bling shook his head.
"He does not sleep, he does not eat, he just sits in front of his computer, but he does not work either. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't really listen."
He stopped and looked Max into the eyes. "He needs you Max. Now more than ever. I'm sure he's sorry, but he's too stubborn to admit it."
Max looked down at her feet and bit her lip. "So does that mean I'm the one to appologize?... I don't think so!"
Bling reached inside his pocket and got out an envelope.
"What's that?" Max asked. "It's something I hope will make you understand Logan's reaction a little better. I'm not asking you to appologize, just read this." With that he turned and left jam Pony without another word.
Max stared at the envelope in her hand. What was that all about? She hesitantly opened the paper with her finger. Inside there was an old article from the financial times. Max' eyes flew to the date on top of the page: April 15th, 1991.
With her heart beating at the top of her throat Max started to read.
Another blow shadows this year's promising economic start of Cale Enterprise stocks
Only three months after the death of his little daughter, Jonathan Lewis Cale now announced the sudden and unexpected death of his wife. His lawyer refused to give any details on the circumstances of her death. Jonathan Cale himself was not available for a statement, but he confirmed that he will transfer all of his shares of Cale Enterprises to his brother Jonas Robert Cale. It is yet to be established what is going to happen to the newly founded "Make them smile again Foundation". Meanwhile Mr. Cale retreated to a secluded family cabin. His only son is said to be staying with family. We will still have to wait and see how the international market reacts to this tragedy...
Max put the paper down. She felt like she had been hit by a train. "Sudden and unexpected death..." So Logan had lost both his sister and his mother shortly after another! But how? Maybe she should really talk to him again. She stuffed the article in her pocket and rushed towards her motorcycle.
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Yeah, I know this was pretty short again, but I promise to post the next asap-as long as my computer lets me do that. Has been acting weird for the last few days.