Disclaimer: all characters belong to J K Rowling and Warner brothers.
a/n this chapter is dedicated to Abby, the very first reviewer of Cheating Death. Wow, it has been a long time, hasn't it?
Cheating Death
By neutral
Chapter thirty - cheating life
Harry stared at the ashes in his hand dully. The weight of the events was gradually fading from his mind. He was alone in a no man's land, staring out at the dark unseeingly. Riddle lied. He wasn't living. But for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to care.
Sirius was gone.
His lungs pinched inward, squeezing all the air out of his chest in a suffocating wheeze. Harry trembled, his vision blurring the earth around him. Soon, loud sobs were raking his entire body. He knelt in the mud, not even bothering to muffle his cries.
Suddenly, strong hands were lifting him up to his feet, burying him against coarse black robes and wrapping him in a tight hug. Harry looked up blearily, blinded by the light that flooded his vision.
"Sirius?" he whispered hopefully.
The man pulled away, and Harry could feel a warm hand pushing strands of hair out of his face and wiping at the blood on his cheek.
"No," he said, traces of sadness in his voice.
Harry blinked, trying to focus on the person in front of him. "Dad?"
James' face sharpened abruptly. His lips were set in a thin line, concern clouding his brown eyes. Harry stared back at him numbly, still dazed. He took a step back, but at the slightest pressure, his legs buckled beneath him. James tightened his hold on Harry's body, guiding him quickly to a chair.
It was then that Harry noticed his surroundings. The whitewashed ceiling of cottage stared back at him from above. Harry turned, his head feeling hollow and heavy, dimly noticing Lily standing beside him, desperately trying to hold her tears at bay.
"How…?" Harry croaked, too tired to put his thoughts into words.
"You just appeared…," Lily said softly. Her voice suddenly sank into silent sobs, and she fell to her knees, grasping his hand tightly. "What did he do to you?" she asked, gently tracing the blood caked against his skin.
Harry shook his head, but every movement seemed to make the room swim before his eyes. He found himself leaning against James heavily, body too drained to even sit on its own. "Not my blood…," he whispered. "Sirius'…"
James drew a sharp breath, "Sirius? He was there? Where is he?"
At that, Harry broke down. He grasped the folds of his father's cloak, oblivious to the pain still stinging his body. He buried his face in the thick folds, sobbing so hard that he could barely even breathe.
"Gone!" he gasped out. "He's gone!"
James stiffened beside him, and Lily was dead silent. For a long time, the only echo of the room was the muffled sounds of Harry sobbing uncontrollably into his father's cloak. It was as if the previous façade of strength had melted away, and the weight of the previous occurrences crashed over him. He couldn't seem to dam the tears that blinded his eyes, or feel embarrassed at such a desperate display. The pain and loss was too overwhelming.
Sirius was gone. He was gone! Even though his parents were at his side, it wasn't the same. They weren't there with him, constantly supporting him though his fourth year. Sirius knew. He understood. His parents just weren't the same.
A reassuring hand touched his shoulder, but Harry flinched away. "Harry," Lily said gently, "What happened?"
Harry shook his head angrily, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "I… it… it was a curse… like a web… made him disappear…."
But instead of the pain and shock seeping into her features, Lily's green eyes brightened in excitement. "A web? James, Thomas used the charm!"
James' face lit up with a grin that seemed to stretch from ear to ear, the wrinkles fading from his face. That felt like a physical blow to him; Harry reeled back with a feeling of bitter betrayal. "Why…?"
"Harry, Sirius isn't dead," James said, words wavering with barely suppressed relief. "He's alive!"
Harry stilled, the sobs clogging as his throat gave a violent clench that pinched off his breaths. There was a brief surge of hope, before the hopeless defeat sank over him again. Heavily, Harry shook his head. "But that's… but I saw…"
"No, Harry, listen to me," Lily firmly shook him, but her voice was soothing and soft. "A spirit doesn't die. Without his physical body, it's impossible for Sirius to die. The web is a charm. I know that spell. It breaks any charm cast on the body. All it did was send Sirius back to the living."
Harry's eyes widened, and for a long minute, he was too stunned to feel nothing but a glazed shock. "Sirius… he's…?"
"Harry, what happened to Riddle?" James urgently asked. He knelt beside his son and caught Harry's shoulder's in a firm and reassuring grasp. There were edges of anger as he mentioned his enemies name, and his brown eyes hardened as he took in the patches of blood that caked Harry's clothes.
"I… I don't know. He just disappeared… I think I killed him," Harry choked, squeezing his eyes shut as the memory of Riddle, face contorted in a savage fury that brought a shiver down his spine. "I threw a spell at him, but I don't know what it was…"
Then, oddly, Lily smiled, sinking forward over Harry's shoulder as if her legs had suddenly gave away beneath her. There was an unhindered reprieve shining through her still youthful face, and she made a strangled sound that sounded oddly like a choked sigh of relief. James grinned, planting a fierce kiss on his son's unruly mop of hair before drawing Harry into a desperate embrace. Harry stiffened in surprise, too bewildered to feel unease at the foreign gestures of affection.
"What…?" Harry weakly whispered.
Lily all but laughed, wrapping both her son and her husband in a lose hug. "You can go back! You've defeated him."
Harry shook his head dazedly. "No… that's not right… I'm still here…"
"No, Harry, do you remember what Sirius said? The only way you can return is if you want to," James pulled back, smiling as he gazed at his son. "You couldn't leave because Riddle was holding you back, but now, he's gone. Nothing's holding you back anymore."
Stunned, Harry sank back in his chair feeling as if his bones were all but water. James' words barely registered in his mind, and even then, he couldn't summon up the surprise or excitement after a week of emotional exhaustion. Listening to them declare his freedom was so abrupt and unexpected that Harry was still trapped in dazed denial. It felt strange, anticlimactic, too simple and too shocking to be true. It was as if everything was but a hoax and their words were empty personification of dreams. And yet…
Harry stared at his parents, but only relieved and happy expressions stared back at him. For the briefest of moments, there was a pang of hesitation. Even if he could leave, should he really leave them? He had barely been given any time with them: only less than a week with his father and just a day with his mother. Couldn't he stay for a few more days? Almost chewing his lip to contain the uncertainty, he wrapped his arms around his parents, embracing them both at the same time and burying his face in the crook of his father's neck.
"Can't I stay?" he whispered hoarsely. "Just a few more hours…"
James visibly flinched at those words, jerking away so sharply that Harry nearly slipped from his chair. "No! Harry, you heard what Riddle said. You might not be able to go back if you wait any longer," James insisted with firm determination.
But Harry's unwillingness only doubled at his parent's affections. Shaking his head, Harry whispered muted protests, "But I've only met Mum for a day. Please…"
"Harry, go," Lily said close to his ear. "Don't let us hold you back."
Harry inwardly cringed at those words. Tightening his hold on his father's cloak, he sank from the chair and fell to his knees on the floor beside his parents. At the expression on Harry's face, the stubborn insistence softened in James face. Lightly, he ran his fingers through Harry's untamed hair and managed a forced smile.
"Harry, Sirius must be worried sick about you right now, thinking that you've died. Go back, Harry. Go home," he said. There was reluctance in his eyes, but it was hidden in an instant. It was only years later that Harry considered the strength that James must have possessed, letting his son go a second time.
But then, he had been too preoccupied, too exhausted, too muddled in his thoughts to notice. Harry paled at the mention of Sirius. What was his godfather going through, thinking that he lost Harry a second time? The memory of him, wan almost beyond recognition with Harry's lifeless body in his arms sent shivers down his spine. Harry stole another glance at his parents.
There was a soft tingling in his hand. Looking down, Harry was surprised to see his shirt through his fingers. Harry lifted his hands, examining them in the bright light. His skin was ghostly white, rapidly becoming translucent. It followed down his arm like he was a piece of art and he was being washed away. But it left a feeling of numbness and peace.
It was as if something deep in his subconscious had decided without his mind's consent, but Harry was too tired to fight for the fading desire to stay. If it had only been a week ago, he would have never given up a chance to be with his parents to anything in the world. But now, with Ron and Hermione grieving over him, Sirius sacrificing his life for him, and the understanding that his parents would have never wished that fate on him, he realized what he would have to give up.
When faced with a fork in the river with the current carrying rapidly in an irreversible direction, he realized. He still didn't want to die.
He gave his parents one last smile, trying to memorize every detail of his parents face before they disappeared again. The softness of his mother's red hair, the gleam of light in his father's brown eyes, every tone of their voices. Harry wanted to remember them forever.
His parents didn't look surprised at all, but grief washed into their features as they watched him. A tear slipped down Lily's cheek, but she wiped it away forcibly and gave a him a shaky smile. James was taut and unmoving, but at the last moment, desperately reached for his hand in a frantic gesture. But then the world around him peeled away, and darkness engulfed him.
A cold, wet land.
'Harry!'
Voices, resonating within his head.
'Harry! No, no, no, please. Don't die! Harry!' Sirius' voice, choked and strained, came to him distantly in the softest of whispers.
A low, sad phoenix song.
"No, Harry. No, please.'
Then light, white, white light that seemed to burn with their very brightness.
Harry gasped, feeling as if he had just been doused in cold water and then beaten with a ton of bricks. His chest was tight and his body heavy. Even breathing hurt. He tried to turn his body to find a more comfortable position, but he was too tired. Opening his eyes seemed to take years.
There was a sound of someone crying near his ear. Crying as if the entire world had shattered around him and was swallowing him in pieces. There was a tight pressure around his body, and he could feel himself being rocked softly back and forth. Finally, light peaked into his vision. He squinted, trying to focus, but everything came as a wild streak of black.
"Sirius," he tried to say, but only a soft cough escaped his lips.
But the sobs continued, the grip around his body never loosening. Harry could feel a hand smoothing out his hair gently; low, indistinguishable whispers muffled against his head. Slowly, Harry forced his hand to move. It was stiff and heavily, feeling like it weighed hundreds of pounds. He touched the arm wrapped around his shoulders, giving it a slight squeeze.
The body beside him froze. There was a shifting of weight. The darkness pulled away and morphed into the strands of Sirius' hair, tangled and wild. His eyes were red and swollen, the lines were etched in his face. He stared at Harry for a long time, barely even drawing a breath, with a piercing stare that seemed to traverse right through him.
"Sirius," Harry choked out, leaning against his godfather's shoulder weakly.
A long strained silence fell over the room. Harry's flawed vision was too poor to discern the expression on his godfather's face, but Sirius was so still that he seemed petrified. There was a shuddering gasp, and instantly, Harry was drawn into a warm embrace that seemed to swallow him whole.
"Harry!" Sirius' voice was barely recognizable through the rawness of his tone. But Harry could hear the soothing resonation of his tone beside his ear. "Harry… oh god, don't tell me this is another dream. Please…"
Harry smiled weakly, too tired to form any coherent words of his own. Weakly, he managed a slight shake of his head and tightened his grasp on Sirius' arm.
Sirius made a soft sound in the back of his throat, burying his face in Harry's unruly hair and wrapping him so tightly that the boy had to force himself not to cry out in protest.
Despite raw scratchiness in his eyes and his throat so dry it felt scarred, Sirius managed a grin that seemed to make him decades younger. He wanted to laugh; his body trembling with the effort of restraint. It was relief, all the worry and frustration he experienced after he returned to discover Harry still lying lifelessly beside him becoming distant fears.
Harry was alive! And at that moment, he could have cared less if the house was burning down all around him and Voldemort was pointing his wand at his back. Harry was alive; nothing else mattered.
"No," Harry whispered, his voice raspy and thick in his throat. "I came home."
*
End
Ack! Disappointing ending, isn't it? I tried! I really did! *wails* Don't worry, an epilogue is underway. I need to change them a lot since most of them paves the way for the sequel, which has been discarded. I'm too lazy to change much, but you can tell they're not very well written since they were drafts that I wrote months ago, and the style was very… undeveloped. Well, they'll be posted as a chunk, since I know most of you are waiting for the encounter with Harry and everyone else after all this is over, but when it comes to rewriting CD and working on CoS, well… CD gets cheated. Umm… but if you would like to read the epilogues as they are, which would mean a much shorter delay but much lesser satisfaction with the quality of the work, then go ahead and yell at me. *hides* I'll post them up! umm... if anyone wants to pick up where CD left off and running with it, I don't mind, although I doubt that anyone would... humm...
thanks for everyone who stuck with this story despite its numerous pit falls and overly extended hiati (is that the plural form?)! CD went through so many twists and scrapes, its amazing that people are still reading. Thanks for everyone's support, even though the story sort of flaked off towards the end *sigh* but I'm glad you read nevertheless. thank you all so much! CD would never have made it here without your support, and if you hadn't all kept urging me to finish, I would have let the thing die on my harddrive. Once again, thank you!
My question and answer page, ACKisms ( http://www.feffi.net/ack ) is up, although it was somewhat of a spontaneous decision. I had some free time, and rather than writing, I went off and made a webpage *cries* I donnuo if its even necessary though, it's just this page where I respond to questions, which could possibly be answered anyone if anyone emailed me personally. Humm… but I really liked the picture… and its really neat to answer questions on there 'cause blogging is really fun. Ack! Someone hit me really hard…
Kaydee, did you get my message? its on the ACKism website, it was on the scrapbook, but it stuck out like a sore thumb and I moved it. It felt really embarrassing signing my own guestbook *hides* but I wasn't sure how else to contact you. you sounded like you needed an answer very urgently. Evil Sirius is oddly very difficult to characterize! Having him in a scene with Voldie, ack... its so hard! I keep trying to imagine how Snape would act, or how Malfoy would act, or how... urg... and comparing Siring to them doesn't work! ack ack ack. wow, your camp sounded fun! *cackle cackle* you should check that guy's blood caffine count. it doesn't seem too healthy...
Lily of the Valley, glad to see you back! Glad to see your muse back up and running too *nudge nudge* yes, I know of Duke University, its very high respected. And since I'm graduating early, or planning to anyway, I've been taking a look at colleges to see which ones I might apply. I take a lot of SAT practice exams, and so far my score's been leveling out at 1430 ish... its rather sad. i probably wouldn't make it to Duke since its probably the 14th most selective in the nation. you're writing a novel? yay! what is it about? you should try posting a chapter to see the response and remove it again, it's no big deal. I saw QR, and I reviewed it too! The first chapter is just the build up, but once the plot starts rolling, it'll get very interesting. House elves trying to eat Harry? eh? No! They were trying to hug him, but Harry freaked out and Sirius had to fend them off. Harry is an... ape?!?! are you okay? have you been inhalling poisonous fumes? *offers grapefruit*
eh, Sirius torture is bad but Harry torture's okay? that's not fair! although, Sirius does get his fair share of torture, abiet emotionally. What did you think of the ending, Wishful Thinker? It wasn't... too... what's a good word for it... urg?
but ack has been somehow permanately ingrained in my mind, katie. it's impossible to remove. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! This chapter is far from being as good, and I hope CD wasn't ruined for you because of it.
*grins* you were right, lady knight of kennan, Nicky, Brighid! I was so tempted to pull another the end joke, but it seemed too evil right after the previous one since I never told anyone how many chapters this story was going to be. ack!
it ended okay, right, wellduh...? chem isn't so bad when it comes to titration, but electrion configuration, Spark-chick? *dies repeatedly* that was torture! especially since our evil teacher likes to do like... three and a half chapters a week and a test of Friday. he's planning a vacation and retirement before the end of the year to use up all his saved hoildays or something... grrr...
acccck! ffNET keeps leaking reviews! CoS lost 3, CD lost 2, GI lost 1, and if you go back a few weeks, WS lost 23. grrr... PoM hasn't lost any, but still! but i guess ffNET is so large that its really hard to maintain, so there isn't anything we can do about it except burn incense and wish them good luck and health. *sigh*
a/n this chapter is dedicated to Abby, the very first reviewer of Cheating Death. Wow, it has been a long time, hasn't it?
Cheating Death
By neutral
Chapter thirty - cheating life
Harry stared at the ashes in his hand dully. The weight of the events was gradually fading from his mind. He was alone in a no man's land, staring out at the dark unseeingly. Riddle lied. He wasn't living. But for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to care.
Sirius was gone.
His lungs pinched inward, squeezing all the air out of his chest in a suffocating wheeze. Harry trembled, his vision blurring the earth around him. Soon, loud sobs were raking his entire body. He knelt in the mud, not even bothering to muffle his cries.
Suddenly, strong hands were lifting him up to his feet, burying him against coarse black robes and wrapping him in a tight hug. Harry looked up blearily, blinded by the light that flooded his vision.
"Sirius?" he whispered hopefully.
The man pulled away, and Harry could feel a warm hand pushing strands of hair out of his face and wiping at the blood on his cheek.
"No," he said, traces of sadness in his voice.
Harry blinked, trying to focus on the person in front of him. "Dad?"
James' face sharpened abruptly. His lips were set in a thin line, concern clouding his brown eyes. Harry stared back at him numbly, still dazed. He took a step back, but at the slightest pressure, his legs buckled beneath him. James tightened his hold on Harry's body, guiding him quickly to a chair.
It was then that Harry noticed his surroundings. The whitewashed ceiling of cottage stared back at him from above. Harry turned, his head feeling hollow and heavy, dimly noticing Lily standing beside him, desperately trying to hold her tears at bay.
"How…?" Harry croaked, too tired to put his thoughts into words.
"You just appeared…," Lily said softly. Her voice suddenly sank into silent sobs, and she fell to her knees, grasping his hand tightly. "What did he do to you?" she asked, gently tracing the blood caked against his skin.
Harry shook his head, but every movement seemed to make the room swim before his eyes. He found himself leaning against James heavily, body too drained to even sit on its own. "Not my blood…," he whispered. "Sirius'…"
James drew a sharp breath, "Sirius? He was there? Where is he?"
At that, Harry broke down. He grasped the folds of his father's cloak, oblivious to the pain still stinging his body. He buried his face in the thick folds, sobbing so hard that he could barely even breathe.
"Gone!" he gasped out. "He's gone!"
James stiffened beside him, and Lily was dead silent. For a long time, the only echo of the room was the muffled sounds of Harry sobbing uncontrollably into his father's cloak. It was as if the previous façade of strength had melted away, and the weight of the previous occurrences crashed over him. He couldn't seem to dam the tears that blinded his eyes, or feel embarrassed at such a desperate display. The pain and loss was too overwhelming.
Sirius was gone. He was gone! Even though his parents were at his side, it wasn't the same. They weren't there with him, constantly supporting him though his fourth year. Sirius knew. He understood. His parents just weren't the same.
A reassuring hand touched his shoulder, but Harry flinched away. "Harry," Lily said gently, "What happened?"
Harry shook his head angrily, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "I… it… it was a curse… like a web… made him disappear…."
But instead of the pain and shock seeping into her features, Lily's green eyes brightened in excitement. "A web? James, Thomas used the charm!"
James' face lit up with a grin that seemed to stretch from ear to ear, the wrinkles fading from his face. That felt like a physical blow to him; Harry reeled back with a feeling of bitter betrayal. "Why…?"
"Harry, Sirius isn't dead," James said, words wavering with barely suppressed relief. "He's alive!"
Harry stilled, the sobs clogging as his throat gave a violent clench that pinched off his breaths. There was a brief surge of hope, before the hopeless defeat sank over him again. Heavily, Harry shook his head. "But that's… but I saw…"
"No, Harry, listen to me," Lily firmly shook him, but her voice was soothing and soft. "A spirit doesn't die. Without his physical body, it's impossible for Sirius to die. The web is a charm. I know that spell. It breaks any charm cast on the body. All it did was send Sirius back to the living."
Harry's eyes widened, and for a long minute, he was too stunned to feel nothing but a glazed shock. "Sirius… he's…?"
"Harry, what happened to Riddle?" James urgently asked. He knelt beside his son and caught Harry's shoulder's in a firm and reassuring grasp. There were edges of anger as he mentioned his enemies name, and his brown eyes hardened as he took in the patches of blood that caked Harry's clothes.
"I… I don't know. He just disappeared… I think I killed him," Harry choked, squeezing his eyes shut as the memory of Riddle, face contorted in a savage fury that brought a shiver down his spine. "I threw a spell at him, but I don't know what it was…"
Then, oddly, Lily smiled, sinking forward over Harry's shoulder as if her legs had suddenly gave away beneath her. There was an unhindered reprieve shining through her still youthful face, and she made a strangled sound that sounded oddly like a choked sigh of relief. James grinned, planting a fierce kiss on his son's unruly mop of hair before drawing Harry into a desperate embrace. Harry stiffened in surprise, too bewildered to feel unease at the foreign gestures of affection.
"What…?" Harry weakly whispered.
Lily all but laughed, wrapping both her son and her husband in a lose hug. "You can go back! You've defeated him."
Harry shook his head dazedly. "No… that's not right… I'm still here…"
"No, Harry, do you remember what Sirius said? The only way you can return is if you want to," James pulled back, smiling as he gazed at his son. "You couldn't leave because Riddle was holding you back, but now, he's gone. Nothing's holding you back anymore."
Stunned, Harry sank back in his chair feeling as if his bones were all but water. James' words barely registered in his mind, and even then, he couldn't summon up the surprise or excitement after a week of emotional exhaustion. Listening to them declare his freedom was so abrupt and unexpected that Harry was still trapped in dazed denial. It felt strange, anticlimactic, too simple and too shocking to be true. It was as if everything was but a hoax and their words were empty personification of dreams. And yet…
Harry stared at his parents, but only relieved and happy expressions stared back at him. For the briefest of moments, there was a pang of hesitation. Even if he could leave, should he really leave them? He had barely been given any time with them: only less than a week with his father and just a day with his mother. Couldn't he stay for a few more days? Almost chewing his lip to contain the uncertainty, he wrapped his arms around his parents, embracing them both at the same time and burying his face in the crook of his father's neck.
"Can't I stay?" he whispered hoarsely. "Just a few more hours…"
James visibly flinched at those words, jerking away so sharply that Harry nearly slipped from his chair. "No! Harry, you heard what Riddle said. You might not be able to go back if you wait any longer," James insisted with firm determination.
But Harry's unwillingness only doubled at his parent's affections. Shaking his head, Harry whispered muted protests, "But I've only met Mum for a day. Please…"
"Harry, go," Lily said close to his ear. "Don't let us hold you back."
Harry inwardly cringed at those words. Tightening his hold on his father's cloak, he sank from the chair and fell to his knees on the floor beside his parents. At the expression on Harry's face, the stubborn insistence softened in James face. Lightly, he ran his fingers through Harry's untamed hair and managed a forced smile.
"Harry, Sirius must be worried sick about you right now, thinking that you've died. Go back, Harry. Go home," he said. There was reluctance in his eyes, but it was hidden in an instant. It was only years later that Harry considered the strength that James must have possessed, letting his son go a second time.
But then, he had been too preoccupied, too exhausted, too muddled in his thoughts to notice. Harry paled at the mention of Sirius. What was his godfather going through, thinking that he lost Harry a second time? The memory of him, wan almost beyond recognition with Harry's lifeless body in his arms sent shivers down his spine. Harry stole another glance at his parents.
There was a soft tingling in his hand. Looking down, Harry was surprised to see his shirt through his fingers. Harry lifted his hands, examining them in the bright light. His skin was ghostly white, rapidly becoming translucent. It followed down his arm like he was a piece of art and he was being washed away. But it left a feeling of numbness and peace.
It was as if something deep in his subconscious had decided without his mind's consent, but Harry was too tired to fight for the fading desire to stay. If it had only been a week ago, he would have never given up a chance to be with his parents to anything in the world. But now, with Ron and Hermione grieving over him, Sirius sacrificing his life for him, and the understanding that his parents would have never wished that fate on him, he realized what he would have to give up.
When faced with a fork in the river with the current carrying rapidly in an irreversible direction, he realized. He still didn't want to die.
He gave his parents one last smile, trying to memorize every detail of his parents face before they disappeared again. The softness of his mother's red hair, the gleam of light in his father's brown eyes, every tone of their voices. Harry wanted to remember them forever.
His parents didn't look surprised at all, but grief washed into their features as they watched him. A tear slipped down Lily's cheek, but she wiped it away forcibly and gave a him a shaky smile. James was taut and unmoving, but at the last moment, desperately reached for his hand in a frantic gesture. But then the world around him peeled away, and darkness engulfed him.
A cold, wet land.
'Harry!'
Voices, resonating within his head.
'Harry! No, no, no, please. Don't die! Harry!' Sirius' voice, choked and strained, came to him distantly in the softest of whispers.
A low, sad phoenix song.
"No, Harry. No, please.'
Then light, white, white light that seemed to burn with their very brightness.
Harry gasped, feeling as if he had just been doused in cold water and then beaten with a ton of bricks. His chest was tight and his body heavy. Even breathing hurt. He tried to turn his body to find a more comfortable position, but he was too tired. Opening his eyes seemed to take years.
There was a sound of someone crying near his ear. Crying as if the entire world had shattered around him and was swallowing him in pieces. There was a tight pressure around his body, and he could feel himself being rocked softly back and forth. Finally, light peaked into his vision. He squinted, trying to focus, but everything came as a wild streak of black.
"Sirius," he tried to say, but only a soft cough escaped his lips.
But the sobs continued, the grip around his body never loosening. Harry could feel a hand smoothing out his hair gently; low, indistinguishable whispers muffled against his head. Slowly, Harry forced his hand to move. It was stiff and heavily, feeling like it weighed hundreds of pounds. He touched the arm wrapped around his shoulders, giving it a slight squeeze.
The body beside him froze. There was a shifting of weight. The darkness pulled away and morphed into the strands of Sirius' hair, tangled and wild. His eyes were red and swollen, the lines were etched in his face. He stared at Harry for a long time, barely even drawing a breath, with a piercing stare that seemed to traverse right through him.
"Sirius," Harry choked out, leaning against his godfather's shoulder weakly.
A long strained silence fell over the room. Harry's flawed vision was too poor to discern the expression on his godfather's face, but Sirius was so still that he seemed petrified. There was a shuddering gasp, and instantly, Harry was drawn into a warm embrace that seemed to swallow him whole.
"Harry!" Sirius' voice was barely recognizable through the rawness of his tone. But Harry could hear the soothing resonation of his tone beside his ear. "Harry… oh god, don't tell me this is another dream. Please…"
Harry smiled weakly, too tired to form any coherent words of his own. Weakly, he managed a slight shake of his head and tightened his grasp on Sirius' arm.
Sirius made a soft sound in the back of his throat, burying his face in Harry's unruly hair and wrapping him so tightly that the boy had to force himself not to cry out in protest.
Despite raw scratchiness in his eyes and his throat so dry it felt scarred, Sirius managed a grin that seemed to make him decades younger. He wanted to laugh; his body trembling with the effort of restraint. It was relief, all the worry and frustration he experienced after he returned to discover Harry still lying lifelessly beside him becoming distant fears.
Harry was alive! And at that moment, he could have cared less if the house was burning down all around him and Voldemort was pointing his wand at his back. Harry was alive; nothing else mattered.
"No," Harry whispered, his voice raspy and thick in his throat. "I came home."
*
End
Ack! Disappointing ending, isn't it? I tried! I really did! *wails* Don't worry, an epilogue is underway. I need to change them a lot since most of them paves the way for the sequel, which has been discarded. I'm too lazy to change much, but you can tell they're not very well written since they were drafts that I wrote months ago, and the style was very… undeveloped. Well, they'll be posted as a chunk, since I know most of you are waiting for the encounter with Harry and everyone else after all this is over, but when it comes to rewriting CD and working on CoS, well… CD gets cheated. Umm… but if you would like to read the epilogues as they are, which would mean a much shorter delay but much lesser satisfaction with the quality of the work, then go ahead and yell at me. *hides* I'll post them up! umm... if anyone wants to pick up where CD left off and running with it, I don't mind, although I doubt that anyone would... humm...
thanks for everyone who stuck with this story despite its numerous pit falls and overly extended hiati (is that the plural form?)! CD went through so many twists and scrapes, its amazing that people are still reading. Thanks for everyone's support, even though the story sort of flaked off towards the end *sigh* but I'm glad you read nevertheless. thank you all so much! CD would never have made it here without your support, and if you hadn't all kept urging me to finish, I would have let the thing die on my harddrive. Once again, thank you!
My question and answer page, ACKisms ( http://www.feffi.net/ack ) is up, although it was somewhat of a spontaneous decision. I had some free time, and rather than writing, I went off and made a webpage *cries* I donnuo if its even necessary though, it's just this page where I respond to questions, which could possibly be answered anyone if anyone emailed me personally. Humm… but I really liked the picture… and its really neat to answer questions on there 'cause blogging is really fun. Ack! Someone hit me really hard…
Kaydee, did you get my message? its on the ACKism website, it was on the scrapbook, but it stuck out like a sore thumb and I moved it. It felt really embarrassing signing my own guestbook *hides* but I wasn't sure how else to contact you. you sounded like you needed an answer very urgently. Evil Sirius is oddly very difficult to characterize! Having him in a scene with Voldie, ack... its so hard! I keep trying to imagine how Snape would act, or how Malfoy would act, or how... urg... and comparing Siring to them doesn't work! ack ack ack. wow, your camp sounded fun! *cackle cackle* you should check that guy's blood caffine count. it doesn't seem too healthy...
Lily of the Valley, glad to see you back! Glad to see your muse back up and running too *nudge nudge* yes, I know of Duke University, its very high respected. And since I'm graduating early, or planning to anyway, I've been taking a look at colleges to see which ones I might apply. I take a lot of SAT practice exams, and so far my score's been leveling out at 1430 ish... its rather sad. i probably wouldn't make it to Duke since its probably the 14th most selective in the nation. you're writing a novel? yay! what is it about? you should try posting a chapter to see the response and remove it again, it's no big deal. I saw QR, and I reviewed it too! The first chapter is just the build up, but once the plot starts rolling, it'll get very interesting. House elves trying to eat Harry? eh? No! They were trying to hug him, but Harry freaked out and Sirius had to fend them off. Harry is an... ape?!?! are you okay? have you been inhalling poisonous fumes? *offers grapefruit*
eh, Sirius torture is bad but Harry torture's okay? that's not fair! although, Sirius does get his fair share of torture, abiet emotionally. What did you think of the ending, Wishful Thinker? It wasn't... too... what's a good word for it... urg?
but ack has been somehow permanately ingrained in my mind, katie. it's impossible to remove. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! This chapter is far from being as good, and I hope CD wasn't ruined for you because of it.
*grins* you were right, lady knight of kennan, Nicky, Brighid! I was so tempted to pull another the end joke, but it seemed too evil right after the previous one since I never told anyone how many chapters this story was going to be. ack!
it ended okay, right, wellduh...? chem isn't so bad when it comes to titration, but electrion configuration, Spark-chick? *dies repeatedly* that was torture! especially since our evil teacher likes to do like... three and a half chapters a week and a test of Friday. he's planning a vacation and retirement before the end of the year to use up all his saved hoildays or something... grrr...
acccck! ffNET keeps leaking reviews! CoS lost 3, CD lost 2, GI lost 1, and if you go back a few weeks, WS lost 23. grrr... PoM hasn't lost any, but still! but i guess ffNET is so large that its really hard to maintain, so there isn't anything we can do about it except burn incense and wish them good luck and health. *sigh*