A/N: … Hopefully no one minds the Hao-centric chapter? e___e Team The Ren and the rest of the gang'll be back next chapter, a'ight, loves? I just wanted to get this out of the way. XD . . . I am so, so shallow. No, there is no real point.
Warnings: … Hao. I write him scary. Be afraid! Oh, and, uh, some language, if that offends you. … And, erm, Lyserg's an utter ho. (…implied MarcoXLyserg, RyuXLyserg, and sort-of HaoXLyserg… uh…)
Disclaimer: Mmuu, I don't own anything. Everything belongs to Takei-sensei. 'm just a fan, you see. Just a simple, innocent fan with no money, yup.
Asakura Hao smiled. Now, that wasn't an uncommon event, really. Hao smiled a lot. It was, actually, quite rare to see him not smiling. That, however, is not the point. The point is that, as usual, he was smiling. Unlike usual, though, he had a reason to be smiling that scary smile of his. It was a damn fine reason, at that.
You see, Asakura Hao had managed to convince the leader of Team the Ren that if he, Asakura Hao, did not get a new poncho by the end of the week, all of Teams the Ren and Funbari Onsen would be killed. It was handy, sometimes, having a furyoku that was well over a million. People feared you when you were that strong, and when a person is afraid, it's possible to force them to do incredibly silly things.
No one would dare disobey him, of course, since, well, he was Asakura Hao! He was the future Shaman King! Who would dare oppose him? He had the Spirit of Fire! He didn't even need the Spirit of Fire to be able to kill someone, though. Oh no. There are all sorts of ways to kill someone besides getting a giant spirit to devour them, you see, and quite a few of them are much more fun. … Hao likes fun things. Oh yes indeed.
So, exactly why had Hao decided that he needed a new poncho? Well, to put it simply, he was tired of his current one. It was boring, and plain-colored. He wanted something interesting. If things aren't interesting, they're boring, and Hao did not like being bored. Most people don't, of course, but Hao particularly disliked it.
Boredom was the enemy. That, of course, was why he wanted to destroy the human race. They couldn't see ghosts, didn't appreciate the planet, and, well, they were, to put it bluntly, abysmally stupid. They were, well, boring. Humans were a cause of boredom, and, well, it's best to defeat your enemy at the source, right?
"I'm bored," Hao announced, sounding far too cheerful for someone who claimed to be bored. There was no reason to say it, of course, other than that he felt like it. It was something to do, you see, and doing things occasionally helps stave off boredom.
"Hao-sama!" Opacho said, in its mildly annoying high-pitched voice. No one was quite sure what gender Opacho was, really. The author didn't have the Manjien, and doubted it said anything anyway, and… well, it's not like you ever see, or want to, for that matter, and, well, gee. You understand, right? Anyway, in case you're wondering, that's all Opacho said. Yup. Hao's name, nothing more, nothing less. Well, there was a "-sama" on the end, but that doesn't make a difference. Almost all of Hao's followers called him "Hao-sama," so it was basically a given.
"It'd be fun to go annoy the X-Laws, wouldn't it Opacho?" Hao's smile was just a little bit wider, and his eyes a bit narrower, and… basically, he looked evil.
Opacho stared up at him, round eyes wide. "They want to kill you, Hao-sama. Is that really such a good idea?"
"Of course!" When he smiled like that, there was no denying Hao. There was no denying him in the first place, but that cute, blank little smile seemed to imply, "This is what I want to do, and no logic's going to stop me, so go screw yourself!"
"…Okay, Hao-sama." What, you thought Opacho would try and tell Hao not to annoy the X-Laws? Of course not! He's too loyal for that! Besides, trying would probably lead to a quick, painful death. Opacho really didn't want his soul to be eaten by the Spirit of Fire. Sure, it would be great to be worthy of that honor—having his spirit devoured! —but he kind of liked living. That was understandable, right?
It was a calm, peaceful, and generally boring day on the X-Laws's boat. The sun was shining, a warm sea breeze was blowing, Marco was slapping Lyserg around (in the name of justice, of course), Lyserg was whining but hanging around and taking the abuse anyway, and Jeanne… Jeanne wasn't really doing anything besides torturing herself, as always. Gotta love that iron maiden, eh?
"I'm sorry, Marco!" Lyserg said, his green eyes glittering with tears. "I didn't think you'd mind!" … Actually, there was one thing that wasn't so normal and boring about the X-Laws's boat today.
It was covered in flowers.
There was a sharp sound as Marco kicked Lyserg again. "Flowers don't properly represent the justice!"
"Hey~!" a cheerful voice rang out, from somewhere not too far away on the deck. "I like the decorations. Your stupid boat's much less ugly now!"
"Hao!" Marco shouted.
"Haaaaoooo!" Lyserg shrieked, getting up and pointing at his sworn enemy, hand trembling slightly.
No one ever said the X-Laws weren't good at stating the obvious.
"You know my name!" Hao beamed, his head tilted slightly to one side. "I'm so proud of you."
"Shut up!" Lyserg screamed. "You killed my parents!"
"You're still obsessing over that? It was so long ago…" Hao laughed. "You need to get over it! They were ugly, too, unlike you!"
"Haaaoooo! What's that supposed to mean?!" Lyserg glared, still pointing at Hao with a wavering hand. Hao had just called his parents ugly! That was unjust, and unacceptable. Hao would die for that insult! … as soon as Jeanne-sama was strong enough, of course. Hopefully, it wouldn't take long, but you can never be sure with these things.
"Hm? I thought it would be obvious." Hao's smile was a bit creepy, really. It was hard to be sure what he was thinking, but it probably wasn't politically correct, or in any way appropriate for a PG-rated fanfic, so we won't even try to guess.
"Tell me what you meant! Don't insult my parents, either… Haaaaooo!"
"What I meant," Hao said, his smile wider than ever, "was that I think you're pretty." He tilted his head to one side, and laughed. You could almost see the shoujo bubbles floating and sparkling in the background. It was a terrible sight to behold, hear you me. "Join me!"
"Don't say that," Marco stated simply, as Lyserg ran in circles screaming incoherently.
Hao blinked, and stared at Marco, smiling innocently. "And why not, Ma-ru-ko~?"
"Because it's wrooong!" Lyserg shrieked, flailing his arms wildly. "Besides, you're evil and stupid!"
Marco smirked, and pushed his glasses up. "Because he's my bitch." He paused, realizing Lyserg was staring at him with a wide-eyed frightened stare. "… That is, he's too loyal to Jeanne-sama to join someone as evil as you!"
"… Your bitch?" Lyserg asked weakly. "B—but, well, I mean, Ryu-san…" he mumbled, lamely attempting to protest a statement that had already been sort of withdrawn.
There was a long, drawn out silence, which lasted nearly a minute. Finally, it was broken by Hao's cheerful laugh. "Oh, of course! I see. Oh well~. It's not my fault you want to stay on the losing side, Lyserg!"
"Shut up, Hao!" Lyserg yelled. Marco hit him. Lyserg fell down again.
Hao blinked, and stared for a moment, looking mildly amused. "Hm." He nodded, smiled, and waved. With a swirl of flame, the Spirit of Fire appeared behind its master, and picked him up.
"I'll just be going now, okay?" Hao laughed, and with that, was gone.
The X-Laws's boat was silent for a very, very long time, except for the sound of Marco kicking Lyserg, and then walking off.