"Athena's new image." part four. (finally!)
The day after Athena's concert, which ended up leaving hundreds of kids needing phsyciatric help, and many middle aged dads looking for another young jailbait pop idol to leer at. Kensou has called a meeting at the Phsyco Soldiers training dojo to discuss what they will do about evil Athena. With him are Chin, Bao, Jhun and Karou.
Chin- I say we follow the Kim Kap Hwan method and mercilessly beat the evil out of her, until she's good.
Kensou- We can't do that! I still love her, even if I did have threesomes with Angel and May Lee.
Chin- It's alright for you. You weren't poisoned by the fake fruit juice of Sunny Delight.
Kensou- It was pretty funny watching you get hyperactive.
Bao- I didn't know you knew the Stayin Alive dance?
Chin- Shut up. So what do you suggest we do about her then?
Karou- I'm not sure I can keep being her number one fan any more?
Jhun- I'm the number one fan! Not you. And I'm still loyal.
Meanwhile, at Mature's place, Athena and her new team of Mature, Billy Kane and John Crawley are recovering from a night of drink and drug crazed debauchery. John has a traffic cone on his head and Athena is mumbling the song "Birthday" by the Jesus and Mary Chain.
Athena- Yeah, I'm a mean motherfucker now, but I once was cool. (pause) Yeah, I'm a bad motherfucker now, but I once was cool...
Mature- Why is it, when we go out drinking, someone always ends up with a traffic cone or something, huh?
John- You're never truly wasted unless you end up with one.
Athena- Yeah, everyone knows that.
While they discuss how out of it you have to be to bring a traffic cone home, the Orochi himself suddenly materializes in front of them.
Billy- Bloody hell. Didn't think I was this mashed.
Mature- What'd you want? We all quit your stupid boring cult in 1997.
Orochi- I'm not here for you you daft cow. I'm here to see if Athena wants to join up? I'm really impressed with your new found badness.
Athena- Don't you have to have Orochi blood or something to qualify?
Orochi- That was before. Now that the ungrateful bastards all left me, I'm reduced to letting anyone in.
Billy- So who's joined up so far?
Orochi- Uhhh... no one.
The group laugh at this. Orochi is now a god without any followers. Pretty irrelevant really. They all walked out on him after the Orochi cult Christmas party in 1997.
Which we're now gonna flashback to. Goenitz's office, all the Orochis are there alive and well, trying to console themselves with their recent defeat. Shermie is performing a striptease on a desk, cheered on by Yashiro, who is covering Chris's eyes.
Yashiro- Go Shermie go! Get 'em off! Yeah!
Chris- I wanna see.
Yashiro- You're too young.Plus, you're the gay appeal member.
Chris- You never let me have any fun.
As Shermie throws her bra at Yashiro, the other Orochis are just as crazy. Mature is photocopying her bare arse, Iori is unsuccessfully trying to seduce Leona, with mistletoe tied to his crotch. Yamazaki and Vice have a drinking contest (Vice is drinking him under the table) and Goenitz is puffing a joint.
Goenitz(stoned)- Like, dig them crazy fucking aligators walking on the walls...
Chris- I wanna see the aligators too.
Yashiro- No. You're too young, we have to keep you cute and innocent, so's we look like a nice, friendly group.
Chris- But I wanna be a bad arse macho man. Like Ralf, that guy's so cool.
Iori- Come on Leona baby, just one kiss under the mistletoe? You know you want to...
Leona just sits there. As suddenly as before, Orochi materialises before the party. He's pretty pissed off about how it's ended up.
Orochi- Come on guys. We have to be serious! We're an evil cult intent on world domination. It's shit like this that caused us to lose KOF 97 so badly. So from now on, I'm banning members from drink, sex, drugs, videogames and anything else remotely fun! It's all work from now.
Back to the present, Mature has just told the others about the Orochi Xmas party.
Mature- And after that, we all told Orochi where to shove his cult, and got the hell out. The Orochi cult's gone down the toilet ever since.
Athena- God, what a crappy cult.
Here's something you never thought you'd see. Orochi is now begging to Athena to sign up with the cult.
Orochi- Come on? Think of the power, all the things we could achieve? Please, I'm desperate here.
Billy-You're less relevant than the Scientiologists, go on piss off.
John- And you're fashion sense sucks too.
Orochi- Says a man dressed like an extra from Top Gun. Avaitor shades went out in the 80s.
Orochi,realising he has no credibility with Athena, leaves as magically as he came.
Athena- He's inspired me you know.
Mature- You're not joining him are you?
Athena- Don't be stupid, he's a loser. But, I'm a goddess, now that I'm evil, I should be exploiting the fact. You know, making people do what I want, and doing really bad stuff to them if they don't. I could be onto something here.
In preparation for such an event, Athena practises her best evil megalomaniac laughter. It takes a while,but she gets the hang of it eventually. End of part four.
How will Athena exploit her goddess status? What will Kensou and co do to try and change her back? Find out in part five, when I've stopped seeing aligators what walk up walls.
The day after Athena's concert, which ended up leaving hundreds of kids needing phsyciatric help, and many middle aged dads looking for another young jailbait pop idol to leer at. Kensou has called a meeting at the Phsyco Soldiers training dojo to discuss what they will do about evil Athena. With him are Chin, Bao, Jhun and Karou.
Chin- I say we follow the Kim Kap Hwan method and mercilessly beat the evil out of her, until she's good.
Kensou- We can't do that! I still love her, even if I did have threesomes with Angel and May Lee.
Chin- It's alright for you. You weren't poisoned by the fake fruit juice of Sunny Delight.
Kensou- It was pretty funny watching you get hyperactive.
Bao- I didn't know you knew the Stayin Alive dance?
Chin- Shut up. So what do you suggest we do about her then?
Karou- I'm not sure I can keep being her number one fan any more?
Jhun- I'm the number one fan! Not you. And I'm still loyal.
Meanwhile, at Mature's place, Athena and her new team of Mature, Billy Kane and John Crawley are recovering from a night of drink and drug crazed debauchery. John has a traffic cone on his head and Athena is mumbling the song "Birthday" by the Jesus and Mary Chain.
Athena- Yeah, I'm a mean motherfucker now, but I once was cool. (pause) Yeah, I'm a bad motherfucker now, but I once was cool...
Mature- Why is it, when we go out drinking, someone always ends up with a traffic cone or something, huh?
John- You're never truly wasted unless you end up with one.
Athena- Yeah, everyone knows that.
While they discuss how out of it you have to be to bring a traffic cone home, the Orochi himself suddenly materializes in front of them.
Billy- Bloody hell. Didn't think I was this mashed.
Mature- What'd you want? We all quit your stupid boring cult in 1997.
Orochi- I'm not here for you you daft cow. I'm here to see if Athena wants to join up? I'm really impressed with your new found badness.
Athena- Don't you have to have Orochi blood or something to qualify?
Orochi- That was before. Now that the ungrateful bastards all left me, I'm reduced to letting anyone in.
Billy- So who's joined up so far?
Orochi- Uhhh... no one.
The group laugh at this. Orochi is now a god without any followers. Pretty irrelevant really. They all walked out on him after the Orochi cult Christmas party in 1997.
Which we're now gonna flashback to. Goenitz's office, all the Orochis are there alive and well, trying to console themselves with their recent defeat. Shermie is performing a striptease on a desk, cheered on by Yashiro, who is covering Chris's eyes.
Yashiro- Go Shermie go! Get 'em off! Yeah!
Chris- I wanna see.
Yashiro- You're too young.Plus, you're the gay appeal member.
Chris- You never let me have any fun.
As Shermie throws her bra at Yashiro, the other Orochis are just as crazy. Mature is photocopying her bare arse, Iori is unsuccessfully trying to seduce Leona, with mistletoe tied to his crotch. Yamazaki and Vice have a drinking contest (Vice is drinking him under the table) and Goenitz is puffing a joint.
Goenitz(stoned)- Like, dig them crazy fucking aligators walking on the walls...
Chris- I wanna see the aligators too.
Yashiro- No. You're too young, we have to keep you cute and innocent, so's we look like a nice, friendly group.
Chris- But I wanna be a bad arse macho man. Like Ralf, that guy's so cool.
Iori- Come on Leona baby, just one kiss under the mistletoe? You know you want to...
Leona just sits there. As suddenly as before, Orochi materialises before the party. He's pretty pissed off about how it's ended up.
Orochi- Come on guys. We have to be serious! We're an evil cult intent on world domination. It's shit like this that caused us to lose KOF 97 so badly. So from now on, I'm banning members from drink, sex, drugs, videogames and anything else remotely fun! It's all work from now.
Back to the present, Mature has just told the others about the Orochi Xmas party.
Mature- And after that, we all told Orochi where to shove his cult, and got the hell out. The Orochi cult's gone down the toilet ever since.
Athena- God, what a crappy cult.
Here's something you never thought you'd see. Orochi is now begging to Athena to sign up with the cult.
Orochi- Come on? Think of the power, all the things we could achieve? Please, I'm desperate here.
Billy-You're less relevant than the Scientiologists, go on piss off.
John- And you're fashion sense sucks too.
Orochi- Says a man dressed like an extra from Top Gun. Avaitor shades went out in the 80s.
Orochi,realising he has no credibility with Athena, leaves as magically as he came.
Athena- He's inspired me you know.
Mature- You're not joining him are you?
Athena- Don't be stupid, he's a loser. But, I'm a goddess, now that I'm evil, I should be exploiting the fact. You know, making people do what I want, and doing really bad stuff to them if they don't. I could be onto something here.
In preparation for such an event, Athena practises her best evil megalomaniac laughter. It takes a while,but she gets the hang of it eventually. End of part four.
How will Athena exploit her goddess status? What will Kensou and co do to try and change her back? Find out in part five, when I've stopped seeing aligators what walk up walls.