~*Give Me Tonight*~
A Seiya-Usagi fanfiction (well... sort of. Right?)
by Abigail
[drive_me_mercury@hotmail.com]
[http://www.makenai.org]
--Sailormoon & all related characters are copyright of Naoko Takeuchi, Toei, Kodansha, and
all those other people--
-Epilogue-
He still wasn't sure what he was doing here. It had been seven years, and being on Earth again
seemed strange. There were so many memories, and yet so many things that time had inalterably
changed. He was back in male form - somehow on this planet it only seemed natural, but it almost
made him feel like he was a misplaced teenager again, desperately searching for his princess.
Seiya checked the address he had copied from the phone book. Sure enough, the plate beside the
apartment door read 'Chiba'. He wiped a hand down his thigh and pressed the doorbell, licking
his lips somewhat nervously. To his slight surprise a slender brown-haired woman answered the
door.
"Can I help you?" She eyed the stranger curiously.
"I... actually, I - I'm looking for Chiba Mamoru," Seiya stuttered a little, wondering for a
moment if he really did have the right address.
"Ah," the woman said. "He's in his study right now, but I can fetch him. Come in. Are you a
friend of Mamoru's?"
"I'm... well, something like that," he replied, stepping into the spacious apartment and looking
around.
"Have a seat," she invited with a gentle smile. "I'll go tell Mamoru someone is here for him."
Seiya nodded his thanks, but remained standing as she disappeared into another room. It wasn't
the same apartment, of course. This one was larger, more furnished, more 'settled'. And, Seiya
could help but notice, it was devoid of anything that hinted 'Usagi' - a subtle reminder that
that night years ago had been more than just a nightmare.
A door opened and Seiya looked up. What struck him first was how much the man had aged. At
thirty, Mamoru already had thin lines around his eyes and graying temples. His hair was the
same, but his shoulders slightly stooped under the white shirt. Certainly time hadn't been all
that friendly to Seiya himself, but for whatever reason he hadn't expected to see his old rival
so changed. From the look in the other man's eyes, Seiya knew he hadn't gone unrecognized.
Ruria watched the two men face each other from across the room, and she saw her husband's face
go pale. She recognized the look in his eyes - that distant, anguished look he took on when he
was thinking of *her*. Was this man who had shown up at their door (and Ruria assumed the
stranger to be a man, though she couldn't be sure) some ghost from the tragic past that Mamoru
never spoke about? The stranger wore a frown, and intense yet sorrowful blue eyes - in fact his
features almost resembled Mamoru's, if her husband were slender and more feminine.
"Seiya." The word was spoken in semi-disbelief, testing a name he hadn't spoken in years.
The other man gave the slightest acknowledgement in his facial expression. "Hisashiburi*...
Mamoru-san." [*hisashiburi = it's been a long time]
The silence was permeating, and Ruria found herself somewhat uncomfortable. "S - shall I make
some tea?" This visitor was Mamoru's business, and not her own, and while she couldn't help but
be curious, it would probably be best if they were left to themselves.
"Thank you, Ruria, that would be nice," Mamoru finally spoke, turning away from Seiya to meet
his wife's eyes. She could help that stirring that rose in her, even with just a casual glance.
Ruria hurriedly bowed and retreated to the kitchen, with one last fleeting glance at the
mysterious visitor.
"Sit." Mamoru spoke, gesturing toward a chair, while he lowered himself onto the sofa. Seiya
obeyed, taking the chair.
Silence again fell between the two rivals, Seiya knotting and unknotting his fists nervously.
However much he had run in previous years, the past had always hunted him down, torturing his
dreams. Her ghost was always there, reminding him of that fateful night. Her tear-filled eyes
pleaded silently to him each night. Once, he had wanted to rescue her, but he couldn't. It was
too late. And even in death she was unhappy. He had kept busy with his duties to the Princess,
never abandoning her or neglecting her safety. Above all, she was still his devotion. He was,
and had always been, the proud leader of the Starlights, and the majority of people saw him, or
rather, saw Sailor Star Fighter, in only that light. But somehow, the peace that he sought
always escaped him. Each year began with a new hope, a promise that maybe this year would be
different, and he'd find a reason to move on, but only ended in disappointment. Eventually he
stopped looking forward to the new years. Even ten years later, the guilt still nagged at him,
though most of the time he buried himself in work to forget it. Kakyuu and the others worried at
first, but soon grew used to their partner's changed attitudes.
It was the Princess' suggestion that brought him back here. 'Why don't you visit Earth again?
Just for a few days.' They were visit a nearby system and Earth was just a few light-years away.
Why she would suggest such a thing, Seiya was baffled. After all the terrible things he had gone
through on Earth, to go back, and be reminded of them? But now he knew she was right - if he
didn't face the past, he could never start living for the future.
Somehow inevitably, his footsteps had led him here. Back to the other man that had been robbed
by Usagi's death.
The clinking of dishes and sounds of preparation wafted from the kitchen, until Ruria emerged
with two cups of tea, breaking the obvious lack of movement and conversation in the room.
"Arigato." Seiya accepted the teacup and took a drink just to keep his hands busy and wet his
dry throat. With another respectful bow, the woman disappeared again into another room.
With deliberate slowness Seiya replaced the teacup on the table.
"I - I know it's been a very long time since... well, since we last saw each other. I'm sure,
and it seems like you have, to some point at least, moved on since then." Seiya's fingers danced
on and over the cup's porclain surface, his eyes focused down on the table. "I know that we...
the two of us, that is, never spoke much in the past, and maybe we never really understood each
other. I... loved her with all my heart, and I don't apologize for that. But she loved you. And
only you. I've been searching these past years for something, and I don't quite know what. Ever
since it happened... there's been something missing. There are a lot of things I regret from
that night, many things I'll never be able to forget. Things I wish I could change. But I
think... if somehow I can be able to move on... what I need, and what I'm asking now," he looked
up at the older man, "is forgiveness." Although even now the old resentment simmered for the man
who had had *his* Odango, it was true - he needed to find a way to move beyond the past, and if
swallowing his pride and burying the hatchet with Mamoru was the way to do it...
Mamoru didn't say anything for a very long time, only raised his cup to his lips again, only to
carefully set it down again.
"I hated you..." The words startled Seiya as Mamoru spoke suddenly, breaking the silence.
"...for a very long time. But more than that, I hated myself. I blamed myself for everything I
hadn't done, and for being angry with her that night. But no matter what, I couldn't bring her
back. And I had to live with that. The fact that she was gone forever."
Mamoru leveled a gaze at him, Seiya shifted uncomfortably. Usagi's death was the sole reason he
had come here, but he hadn't expected Mamoru to open up like this. In fact he'd more expected a
cold door slammed in his face. No, take that back. He hadn't known what to expect. And... what
did he mean? Did Mamoru blame him for what happened?
He took another quick sip of tea and he changed from soft, reflective voice to a gruffer tone.
"I don't know what you want. It was ten years ago. You think I didn't love her as well? But we
all have to keep living whether we like it or not. You're asking for forgiveness. Why? We're
practically strangers. I still don't like you, Seiya Kou, but I'm not a person to keep grudges.
You don't need to be worried. Besides, I'm as happy with my life now as I'll ever be."
"Ruria-san?" Seiya ignored the nagging voice that told him not to dig any deeper.
Mamoru nodded as once again the teacup descended to the tabletop. "My wife. Two years. We were
colleagues at work." Mamoru gave no more detail and Seiya didn't ask.
Seiya's mind was spinning. This apartment, this couple in their perfect little life... it was
like Usagi had never even existed. He felt like shouting out - "Didn't you ever even care?!" But
maybe he did... maybe he even still thought about her from time to time - it would feel too odd
to ask him outright, so Seiya didn't. Maybe *he* was the one stuck in the past, who couldn't get
over the guilt and the pain of her loss, even though she had never been his.
So how? How could he accept it?
Seiya stood suddenly - this train of thought was starting to affect him, and he wasn't going to
break down in front of Mamoru. "I hope you have a happy life together," he recited in a mumbled
tone, turning to leave. Whatever he was searching for, he hadn't found it here.
"Seiya." He was halfway to the door when Mamoru's voice stopped him.
"I don't think the forgiveness you're looking for will come from me."
He froze for several moments, as the weight of Mamoru's words sunk in. With a flip of his head,
he looked back at the older man, and with a simple "Sayonara", spanned the rest of the distance
to the door.
-----------------
Alone again, and once again on Earth, Seiya had nowhere to go. He did, however have a lot of
soul-searching to do. Mamoru's word echoed in his mind, as he walked the sidewalks, scarcely
noticing the people who passed by.
Should he simply leave Earth? Disappointed as always? Did fate just naturally deal him these
cruel hands or was it his own doing? Mamoru was happy, even if Seiya couldn't deny the grief
that had lingered in his eyes, Mamoru had moved on. Why couldn't he? Seiya almost laughed at the
irony - once again the bastard had everything he didn't.
But perhaps Mamoru was right. He still blamed himself for everything that had happened that
night. If he had gone back, if he had left before her boyfriend came back, if he had never asked
her in the first place... things could have been different. Too many 'if onlys...'. But seven
years of wishing hadn't brought her back. There was nothing left to do but go on without her...
He wandered through an outdoor fruit shop, with colored oranges, apples, pears, and melons piled
into trays on display. That was it - if he could somehow forgive himself... he could stop living
in the past. Maybe the dreams would even go away. He didn't want to forget her, ever, but... He
wrapped his fingers around a soft orange, holding it up to study the texture of its skin...
Nothing he could do could change the fact that she was gone. Maybe nothing he could have done
seven years ago would have changed anything. He put the orange in its place again, running his
hand lightly over the pile and barely feeling the fruit shift beneath his fingers. And... this
wasn't what she had wanted. She had been so concerned about his own happiness... he wondered if
it would break her heart to see him now.
Seiya felt an unexpected tug at his pantleg, and looked down. To his surprise there stood a
little girl, hardly four years old, it seemed. "Sir," she spoke in a clear childish tone, "you
dropped your orange." She had a round orange in her small hand and was holding it up to him.
He dropped to his knee to meet her at eye level, and smiled in spite of himself. "Arigato." She
was truly the picture of angelic innocence with gold baby curls and crystal blue eyes. She
shifted shyly but her smile was sincere. And... her aura...
An electric shock ran through Seiya's body when their hands touched. Could it be?
'I hope that we are born again.'
'The Sailor Crystals... they're are hope, aren't they?'
"Are you alright?" The small voice broke into Seiya's reality. No doubt, she even resembled her.
And those eyes... exactly the same.
"Yes," he spoke, finally taking the orange from her hands. "I am."
With a shy smile she ran away to take shelter in her mother's skirt. Seiya stood again, and as
he watched the yellow curls peek around and behind the swishing dress, he felt something odd
stirring inside of him...
Hope.
The cashier raised an eyebrow when he set the orange on the counter. "Just one?" He told her yes
and paid for it, and soon Seiya was looking out on the street with his small package dangling
from one hand.
It was time for his own healing to begin.
THE END
-------------------
Well?? Different ending, huh? I kinda like it, even though I'm really frustrated with my writing
right now. Tell me what you think of it, though. If you didn't get it, the little girl at the
end is supposed to be Usagi reincarnated.
Thanks to everyone who's still reading. I hope your happy that it's finished as much as I am.
@_@ Geh! And don't flame me that Seiya and Usa didn't get together! Oh, fine, I don't care.
Flame me all you want. ^___^ *pulls out the marshmellows*
Peace and love to all ~
Abigail
P.S. (promotion time) Watch for my coming fic, which will be titled either "Night Child" or
"Between Here and Kinmoku" [if I don't think of something better between now and then].
Seiya/Usagi, naturally... (I can't help it.) And who knows how this one will end. 0.o
Want a summary? Here goes:
Only one other person in the universe, the Guardian of Time, knew about Neo-Queen Serenity's
illegitimate daughter. But when the spunky 9-year-old decides to take things into her own hands
and discover the real truth about her past, sparks could end up flying from here to Kinmokusei.
As Crystal Tokyo turns out to be not everything the legends made it out to be...
A Seiya-Usagi fanfiction (well... sort of. Right?)
by Abigail
[drive_me_mercury@hotmail.com]
[http://www.makenai.org]
--Sailormoon & all related characters are copyright of Naoko Takeuchi, Toei, Kodansha, and
all those other people--
-Epilogue-
He still wasn't sure what he was doing here. It had been seven years, and being on Earth again
seemed strange. There were so many memories, and yet so many things that time had inalterably
changed. He was back in male form - somehow on this planet it only seemed natural, but it almost
made him feel like he was a misplaced teenager again, desperately searching for his princess.
Seiya checked the address he had copied from the phone book. Sure enough, the plate beside the
apartment door read 'Chiba'. He wiped a hand down his thigh and pressed the doorbell, licking
his lips somewhat nervously. To his slight surprise a slender brown-haired woman answered the
door.
"Can I help you?" She eyed the stranger curiously.
"I... actually, I - I'm looking for Chiba Mamoru," Seiya stuttered a little, wondering for a
moment if he really did have the right address.
"Ah," the woman said. "He's in his study right now, but I can fetch him. Come in. Are you a
friend of Mamoru's?"
"I'm... well, something like that," he replied, stepping into the spacious apartment and looking
around.
"Have a seat," she invited with a gentle smile. "I'll go tell Mamoru someone is here for him."
Seiya nodded his thanks, but remained standing as she disappeared into another room. It wasn't
the same apartment, of course. This one was larger, more furnished, more 'settled'. And, Seiya
could help but notice, it was devoid of anything that hinted 'Usagi' - a subtle reminder that
that night years ago had been more than just a nightmare.
A door opened and Seiya looked up. What struck him first was how much the man had aged. At
thirty, Mamoru already had thin lines around his eyes and graying temples. His hair was the
same, but his shoulders slightly stooped under the white shirt. Certainly time hadn't been all
that friendly to Seiya himself, but for whatever reason he hadn't expected to see his old rival
so changed. From the look in the other man's eyes, Seiya knew he hadn't gone unrecognized.
Ruria watched the two men face each other from across the room, and she saw her husband's face
go pale. She recognized the look in his eyes - that distant, anguished look he took on when he
was thinking of *her*. Was this man who had shown up at their door (and Ruria assumed the
stranger to be a man, though she couldn't be sure) some ghost from the tragic past that Mamoru
never spoke about? The stranger wore a frown, and intense yet sorrowful blue eyes - in fact his
features almost resembled Mamoru's, if her husband were slender and more feminine.
"Seiya." The word was spoken in semi-disbelief, testing a name he hadn't spoken in years.
The other man gave the slightest acknowledgement in his facial expression. "Hisashiburi*...
Mamoru-san." [*hisashiburi = it's been a long time]
The silence was permeating, and Ruria found herself somewhat uncomfortable. "S - shall I make
some tea?" This visitor was Mamoru's business, and not her own, and while she couldn't help but
be curious, it would probably be best if they were left to themselves.
"Thank you, Ruria, that would be nice," Mamoru finally spoke, turning away from Seiya to meet
his wife's eyes. She could help that stirring that rose in her, even with just a casual glance.
Ruria hurriedly bowed and retreated to the kitchen, with one last fleeting glance at the
mysterious visitor.
"Sit." Mamoru spoke, gesturing toward a chair, while he lowered himself onto the sofa. Seiya
obeyed, taking the chair.
Silence again fell between the two rivals, Seiya knotting and unknotting his fists nervously.
However much he had run in previous years, the past had always hunted him down, torturing his
dreams. Her ghost was always there, reminding him of that fateful night. Her tear-filled eyes
pleaded silently to him each night. Once, he had wanted to rescue her, but he couldn't. It was
too late. And even in death she was unhappy. He had kept busy with his duties to the Princess,
never abandoning her or neglecting her safety. Above all, she was still his devotion. He was,
and had always been, the proud leader of the Starlights, and the majority of people saw him, or
rather, saw Sailor Star Fighter, in only that light. But somehow, the peace that he sought
always escaped him. Each year began with a new hope, a promise that maybe this year would be
different, and he'd find a reason to move on, but only ended in disappointment. Eventually he
stopped looking forward to the new years. Even ten years later, the guilt still nagged at him,
though most of the time he buried himself in work to forget it. Kakyuu and the others worried at
first, but soon grew used to their partner's changed attitudes.
It was the Princess' suggestion that brought him back here. 'Why don't you visit Earth again?
Just for a few days.' They were visit a nearby system and Earth was just a few light-years away.
Why she would suggest such a thing, Seiya was baffled. After all the terrible things he had gone
through on Earth, to go back, and be reminded of them? But now he knew she was right - if he
didn't face the past, he could never start living for the future.
Somehow inevitably, his footsteps had led him here. Back to the other man that had been robbed
by Usagi's death.
The clinking of dishes and sounds of preparation wafted from the kitchen, until Ruria emerged
with two cups of tea, breaking the obvious lack of movement and conversation in the room.
"Arigato." Seiya accepted the teacup and took a drink just to keep his hands busy and wet his
dry throat. With another respectful bow, the woman disappeared again into another room.
With deliberate slowness Seiya replaced the teacup on the table.
"I - I know it's been a very long time since... well, since we last saw each other. I'm sure,
and it seems like you have, to some point at least, moved on since then." Seiya's fingers danced
on and over the cup's porclain surface, his eyes focused down on the table. "I know that we...
the two of us, that is, never spoke much in the past, and maybe we never really understood each
other. I... loved her with all my heart, and I don't apologize for that. But she loved you. And
only you. I've been searching these past years for something, and I don't quite know what. Ever
since it happened... there's been something missing. There are a lot of things I regret from
that night, many things I'll never be able to forget. Things I wish I could change. But I
think... if somehow I can be able to move on... what I need, and what I'm asking now," he looked
up at the older man, "is forgiveness." Although even now the old resentment simmered for the man
who had had *his* Odango, it was true - he needed to find a way to move beyond the past, and if
swallowing his pride and burying the hatchet with Mamoru was the way to do it...
Mamoru didn't say anything for a very long time, only raised his cup to his lips again, only to
carefully set it down again.
"I hated you..." The words startled Seiya as Mamoru spoke suddenly, breaking the silence.
"...for a very long time. But more than that, I hated myself. I blamed myself for everything I
hadn't done, and for being angry with her that night. But no matter what, I couldn't bring her
back. And I had to live with that. The fact that she was gone forever."
Mamoru leveled a gaze at him, Seiya shifted uncomfortably. Usagi's death was the sole reason he
had come here, but he hadn't expected Mamoru to open up like this. In fact he'd more expected a
cold door slammed in his face. No, take that back. He hadn't known what to expect. And... what
did he mean? Did Mamoru blame him for what happened?
He took another quick sip of tea and he changed from soft, reflective voice to a gruffer tone.
"I don't know what you want. It was ten years ago. You think I didn't love her as well? But we
all have to keep living whether we like it or not. You're asking for forgiveness. Why? We're
practically strangers. I still don't like you, Seiya Kou, but I'm not a person to keep grudges.
You don't need to be worried. Besides, I'm as happy with my life now as I'll ever be."
"Ruria-san?" Seiya ignored the nagging voice that told him not to dig any deeper.
Mamoru nodded as once again the teacup descended to the tabletop. "My wife. Two years. We were
colleagues at work." Mamoru gave no more detail and Seiya didn't ask.
Seiya's mind was spinning. This apartment, this couple in their perfect little life... it was
like Usagi had never even existed. He felt like shouting out - "Didn't you ever even care?!" But
maybe he did... maybe he even still thought about her from time to time - it would feel too odd
to ask him outright, so Seiya didn't. Maybe *he* was the one stuck in the past, who couldn't get
over the guilt and the pain of her loss, even though she had never been his.
So how? How could he accept it?
Seiya stood suddenly - this train of thought was starting to affect him, and he wasn't going to
break down in front of Mamoru. "I hope you have a happy life together," he recited in a mumbled
tone, turning to leave. Whatever he was searching for, he hadn't found it here.
"Seiya." He was halfway to the door when Mamoru's voice stopped him.
"I don't think the forgiveness you're looking for will come from me."
He froze for several moments, as the weight of Mamoru's words sunk in. With a flip of his head,
he looked back at the older man, and with a simple "Sayonara", spanned the rest of the distance
to the door.
-----------------
Alone again, and once again on Earth, Seiya had nowhere to go. He did, however have a lot of
soul-searching to do. Mamoru's word echoed in his mind, as he walked the sidewalks, scarcely
noticing the people who passed by.
Should he simply leave Earth? Disappointed as always? Did fate just naturally deal him these
cruel hands or was it his own doing? Mamoru was happy, even if Seiya couldn't deny the grief
that had lingered in his eyes, Mamoru had moved on. Why couldn't he? Seiya almost laughed at the
irony - once again the bastard had everything he didn't.
But perhaps Mamoru was right. He still blamed himself for everything that had happened that
night. If he had gone back, if he had left before her boyfriend came back, if he had never asked
her in the first place... things could have been different. Too many 'if onlys...'. But seven
years of wishing hadn't brought her back. There was nothing left to do but go on without her...
He wandered through an outdoor fruit shop, with colored oranges, apples, pears, and melons piled
into trays on display. That was it - if he could somehow forgive himself... he could stop living
in the past. Maybe the dreams would even go away. He didn't want to forget her, ever, but... He
wrapped his fingers around a soft orange, holding it up to study the texture of its skin...
Nothing he could do could change the fact that she was gone. Maybe nothing he could have done
seven years ago would have changed anything. He put the orange in its place again, running his
hand lightly over the pile and barely feeling the fruit shift beneath his fingers. And... this
wasn't what she had wanted. She had been so concerned about his own happiness... he wondered if
it would break her heart to see him now.
Seiya felt an unexpected tug at his pantleg, and looked down. To his surprise there stood a
little girl, hardly four years old, it seemed. "Sir," she spoke in a clear childish tone, "you
dropped your orange." She had a round orange in her small hand and was holding it up to him.
He dropped to his knee to meet her at eye level, and smiled in spite of himself. "Arigato." She
was truly the picture of angelic innocence with gold baby curls and crystal blue eyes. She
shifted shyly but her smile was sincere. And... her aura...
An electric shock ran through Seiya's body when their hands touched. Could it be?
'I hope that we are born again.'
'The Sailor Crystals... they're are hope, aren't they?'
"Are you alright?" The small voice broke into Seiya's reality. No doubt, she even resembled her.
And those eyes... exactly the same.
"Yes," he spoke, finally taking the orange from her hands. "I am."
With a shy smile she ran away to take shelter in her mother's skirt. Seiya stood again, and as
he watched the yellow curls peek around and behind the swishing dress, he felt something odd
stirring inside of him...
Hope.
The cashier raised an eyebrow when he set the orange on the counter. "Just one?" He told her yes
and paid for it, and soon Seiya was looking out on the street with his small package dangling
from one hand.
It was time for his own healing to begin.
THE END
-------------------
Well?? Different ending, huh? I kinda like it, even though I'm really frustrated with my writing
right now. Tell me what you think of it, though. If you didn't get it, the little girl at the
end is supposed to be Usagi reincarnated.
Thanks to everyone who's still reading. I hope your happy that it's finished as much as I am.
@_@ Geh! And don't flame me that Seiya and Usa didn't get together! Oh, fine, I don't care.
Flame me all you want. ^___^ *pulls out the marshmellows*
Peace and love to all ~
Abigail
P.S. (promotion time) Watch for my coming fic, which will be titled either "Night Child" or
"Between Here and Kinmoku" [if I don't think of something better between now and then].
Seiya/Usagi, naturally... (I can't help it.) And who knows how this one will end. 0.o
Want a summary? Here goes:
Only one other person in the universe, the Guardian of Time, knew about Neo-Queen Serenity's
illegitimate daughter. But when the spunky 9-year-old decides to take things into her own hands
and discover the real truth about her past, sparks could end up flying from here to Kinmokusei.
As Crystal Tokyo turns out to be not everything the legends made it out to be...