A/N - Thanks for the great reviews. I was dreading ending up with no
reviews!
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Chapter 2: The arrival of the Burrows
On the bridge sat the two young hobbits with their feet dangling over the edge forlornly. They looked completely out of place with sparkling clean faces, their best clothes on, and their hair washed and brushed to within an inch of its life.
"This is going to be such a waste of time," mumbled Pippin.
"So many hours passing without any pranks," Merry shook his head sorrowfully. "Such a sorry waste of time."
"She's bound to be a uptight, humourless lass."
"No doubt, Pip. If she's anything like the other lasses around here, she'll be a real stick in the mud. We won't be able to get away with anything when she's with us."
"Sense of humour transplant."
"Sense of humour-ectomy." They giggled at their shared sense of humour.
"My stomach's rumbling," complained Pippin.
"Mine too," agreed Merry. "I only had first breakfast, second breakfast and elevenses."
Their mothers had cleaned them up and hurried them out of the house whilst they tidied up before the impending arrival. So eager were they to get rid of the hobbits that they had completely overlooked the young hobbits' first lunch.
"D'you think we've got time to go look for some wild mushrooms?" Pippin asked innocently. Merry's eyes gleamed as the thought of wild mushrooms entered his mind.
"Of course," he replied. "There's always enough time for mushrooms."
&&&
Half an hour later, the two hobbits, slightly fatter after stuffing their faces with mushrooms, lay in a corner of the field.
"My compliments to the chef," grinned Pippin, closing his eyes sleepily as his head lolled on Merry's shoulder. A sleepy Merry grinned back as he also was tempted to close his eyes and sleep off the fine snack.
"Hey, Pip," he suddenly exclaimed, jolting Pippin out of his dreams. "We're supposed to be at home now!" Pippin sat bolt upright, thoughts of Gandalf's next fireworks show running through his mind. Together they scrambled up and set off at a run towards home, their large feet flapping on the earth.
They ran through the streets of Buckland, hoping they weren't going to be too late. Just as Merry's house came into view, he slipped in a puddle of water and his feet flew from underneath him. He clutched desperately at Pippin, only resulting in pulling him down too. They both landed heavily on the ground, sliding the rest of the way to Merry's front door.
Dazed, they raised their heads, wondering why the fall hadn't hurt more. Slowly, as they looked down, they realised that they had fallen into a soft, cushioning, and above all very smelly pile of pig droppings. They looked at each other resignedly.
"Market day," they said simultaneously.
At that moment, the door opened and a young female hobbit looked down at them in distaste. She was a plain thing with curly, short brown hair, brown eyes and an upturned nose.
"Meriadoc Brandybuck!" came the familiar motherly screech as she loomed behind the young hobbit. "Is that any way to greet Miss Myrtle Burrows?"
"Who's Myrtle Burrows?" asked Pippin with a flippant grin. That was enough to incite the full fury of her already frayed temper, and she swept down upon them, grabbing hold of one of their ears in each hand and dragging them indoors. Inside sat Eglantine with an older version of the young hobbit at the door, primly perched on the chair. She looked at them down her nose and whispered to Esmeralda.
"Are you sure I should entrust my daughter to these two ragamuffins?"
"My dear Peony, it appears that they have had an unfortunate accident. I'm sure they'll be on their best behaviour from now on." She delivered that last line whilst glaring at the two young hobbits meaningfully. They caught the full meaning of her words as if she had spoken them out loud. No fireworks for you, lads.
Myrtle stood in the doorway as Esmeralda beckoned her in and introduced her to the pair. She sniffed, raising a hand, palm-down to the hobbits. Pippin stuck out his hand and shook hers firmly, pumping it up and down. She glared at him with a look of shock and tore her hand away.
"Now, Myrtle," berated her mother. "That's not very lady-like, is it? You can't expect all hobbits to know how to greet a lady."
"No, mother. I'm sorry mother," she responded, sending a look of hatred towards Pip.
"Good girl. Now run along, and remember, do your mother proud, sweetheart."
"Yes mother. Of course." It was a while before Merry noticed Esmeralda glaring at the two hobbits and gesturing for them to escort her around Buckland.
As they emerged into the Buckland streets, Myrtle placed her bonnet on her head delicately, as she wrinkled her nose at Merry and Pippin.
"You two smell."
"I would expect so, Miss, seeing as we fell into a pile of pig droppings," answered Merry, trying his best to behave like a gentlehobbit.
"We were looking for mushrooms. We can show you where to get some delicious ones. Have you had first lunch yet?" asked Pippin enthusiastically.
Myrtle's eyes lit up momentarily, before the sparkle was extinguished quickly. "I hardly think that's a lady-like pastime," she replied coldly. "Rummaging around searching for mushrooms."
"So what would you like to see?" asked Merry again, trying to be patient with her flippant dismissal of mushrooms.
"I don't suppose there's very much of interest to a lady like myself," she replied disdainfully.
"Well, WE get along fine," he answered back, his temper wearing extremely thin now. *Think fireworks, Merry lad. Think fireworks,* he repeated to himself like a mantra.
"I hardly think you and I will have the same standards for pastimes," she smirked. As Merry's anger caught hold and his face screwed up ready to yell at the infuriating hobbit, Pippin placed an arm on his chest and turned to Myrtle.
"How about a walk in the woods?" he asked with an endearing grin. "That's nice and peaceful, and very lady-like."
Myrtle shrugged delicately. "I suppose that'll have to do. To be honest I can't see why our mothers have lumbered me with you two."
Pippin looked at her in amazement. Who wouldn't want to be shown around by Pippin and Merry? "But we know the best places to find mushrooms, the best shops to steal food from, the best gardens to pick flowers from, and the best places to find nice, juicy, tender, mouth-watering mushrooms."
"You mentioned the mushrooms twice, Pip," Merry whispered.
"I know," he answered innocently. "That one's the most important."
"There are other things more important in life than all that," she quipped. Pippin's astonishment grew.
"More important than MUSHROOMS?" His mouth hung open. Was the hobbit crazy?
"Pip, the fireworks," whispered Merry urgently into Pippin's ear. "Remember the fireworks!" Pippin looked in astonishment at Merry, his thoughts slowly coming back into order.
"The fireworks, yes," he whispered nodding furiously. They looked around, aware that there was no more whining. By this time, they had reached the woods, and now Myrtle had disappeared.
"Miss Burrows?" Merry called out hesitantly into the woods. A ripping sound came from behind a tree as the two hobbits approached it cautiously. Behind the tree stood Myrtle, bonnet and gloves thrown on the floor, dress by her ankles.
"What are you doing?" called Merry as he regained the power of speech. She looked up, the earlier gleam in her eyes sparkling again. She grinned. She stood in a pair of shorts and a shirt which had been hidden under her full- skirted dress.
"Changing into something more comfortable. I thought you two would never take me away from Buckland!" she giggled mischievously. She looked much more like a tomboy with her short hair in the new outfit. "Well, I can hardly change in full view of all the other hobbits, can I?" she asked the two dumbstruck hobbits. "Can't have word getting back to my stuck-up mother that I'm not behaving like a lady!" With that, she scampered off into the woods.
"Are you two coming or not?"
&&&
QuackingFrog - OMG! You're right! Fred and George! Never meant for that to happen, but it's turned out well.
brachan90 - I hope I will never EVER write a Mary Sue! If it starts drifting along those lines, you'll let me know, right?
Next chapter should be up within the next couple of days. In the meantime, please R&R!
&&&
Chapter 2: The arrival of the Burrows
On the bridge sat the two young hobbits with their feet dangling over the edge forlornly. They looked completely out of place with sparkling clean faces, their best clothes on, and their hair washed and brushed to within an inch of its life.
"This is going to be such a waste of time," mumbled Pippin.
"So many hours passing without any pranks," Merry shook his head sorrowfully. "Such a sorry waste of time."
"She's bound to be a uptight, humourless lass."
"No doubt, Pip. If she's anything like the other lasses around here, she'll be a real stick in the mud. We won't be able to get away with anything when she's with us."
"Sense of humour transplant."
"Sense of humour-ectomy." They giggled at their shared sense of humour.
"My stomach's rumbling," complained Pippin.
"Mine too," agreed Merry. "I only had first breakfast, second breakfast and elevenses."
Their mothers had cleaned them up and hurried them out of the house whilst they tidied up before the impending arrival. So eager were they to get rid of the hobbits that they had completely overlooked the young hobbits' first lunch.
"D'you think we've got time to go look for some wild mushrooms?" Pippin asked innocently. Merry's eyes gleamed as the thought of wild mushrooms entered his mind.
"Of course," he replied. "There's always enough time for mushrooms."
&&&
Half an hour later, the two hobbits, slightly fatter after stuffing their faces with mushrooms, lay in a corner of the field.
"My compliments to the chef," grinned Pippin, closing his eyes sleepily as his head lolled on Merry's shoulder. A sleepy Merry grinned back as he also was tempted to close his eyes and sleep off the fine snack.
"Hey, Pip," he suddenly exclaimed, jolting Pippin out of his dreams. "We're supposed to be at home now!" Pippin sat bolt upright, thoughts of Gandalf's next fireworks show running through his mind. Together they scrambled up and set off at a run towards home, their large feet flapping on the earth.
They ran through the streets of Buckland, hoping they weren't going to be too late. Just as Merry's house came into view, he slipped in a puddle of water and his feet flew from underneath him. He clutched desperately at Pippin, only resulting in pulling him down too. They both landed heavily on the ground, sliding the rest of the way to Merry's front door.
Dazed, they raised their heads, wondering why the fall hadn't hurt more. Slowly, as they looked down, they realised that they had fallen into a soft, cushioning, and above all very smelly pile of pig droppings. They looked at each other resignedly.
"Market day," they said simultaneously.
At that moment, the door opened and a young female hobbit looked down at them in distaste. She was a plain thing with curly, short brown hair, brown eyes and an upturned nose.
"Meriadoc Brandybuck!" came the familiar motherly screech as she loomed behind the young hobbit. "Is that any way to greet Miss Myrtle Burrows?"
"Who's Myrtle Burrows?" asked Pippin with a flippant grin. That was enough to incite the full fury of her already frayed temper, and she swept down upon them, grabbing hold of one of their ears in each hand and dragging them indoors. Inside sat Eglantine with an older version of the young hobbit at the door, primly perched on the chair. She looked at them down her nose and whispered to Esmeralda.
"Are you sure I should entrust my daughter to these two ragamuffins?"
"My dear Peony, it appears that they have had an unfortunate accident. I'm sure they'll be on their best behaviour from now on." She delivered that last line whilst glaring at the two young hobbits meaningfully. They caught the full meaning of her words as if she had spoken them out loud. No fireworks for you, lads.
Myrtle stood in the doorway as Esmeralda beckoned her in and introduced her to the pair. She sniffed, raising a hand, palm-down to the hobbits. Pippin stuck out his hand and shook hers firmly, pumping it up and down. She glared at him with a look of shock and tore her hand away.
"Now, Myrtle," berated her mother. "That's not very lady-like, is it? You can't expect all hobbits to know how to greet a lady."
"No, mother. I'm sorry mother," she responded, sending a look of hatred towards Pip.
"Good girl. Now run along, and remember, do your mother proud, sweetheart."
"Yes mother. Of course." It was a while before Merry noticed Esmeralda glaring at the two hobbits and gesturing for them to escort her around Buckland.
As they emerged into the Buckland streets, Myrtle placed her bonnet on her head delicately, as she wrinkled her nose at Merry and Pippin.
"You two smell."
"I would expect so, Miss, seeing as we fell into a pile of pig droppings," answered Merry, trying his best to behave like a gentlehobbit.
"We were looking for mushrooms. We can show you where to get some delicious ones. Have you had first lunch yet?" asked Pippin enthusiastically.
Myrtle's eyes lit up momentarily, before the sparkle was extinguished quickly. "I hardly think that's a lady-like pastime," she replied coldly. "Rummaging around searching for mushrooms."
"So what would you like to see?" asked Merry again, trying to be patient with her flippant dismissal of mushrooms.
"I don't suppose there's very much of interest to a lady like myself," she replied disdainfully.
"Well, WE get along fine," he answered back, his temper wearing extremely thin now. *Think fireworks, Merry lad. Think fireworks,* he repeated to himself like a mantra.
"I hardly think you and I will have the same standards for pastimes," she smirked. As Merry's anger caught hold and his face screwed up ready to yell at the infuriating hobbit, Pippin placed an arm on his chest and turned to Myrtle.
"How about a walk in the woods?" he asked with an endearing grin. "That's nice and peaceful, and very lady-like."
Myrtle shrugged delicately. "I suppose that'll have to do. To be honest I can't see why our mothers have lumbered me with you two."
Pippin looked at her in amazement. Who wouldn't want to be shown around by Pippin and Merry? "But we know the best places to find mushrooms, the best shops to steal food from, the best gardens to pick flowers from, and the best places to find nice, juicy, tender, mouth-watering mushrooms."
"You mentioned the mushrooms twice, Pip," Merry whispered.
"I know," he answered innocently. "That one's the most important."
"There are other things more important in life than all that," she quipped. Pippin's astonishment grew.
"More important than MUSHROOMS?" His mouth hung open. Was the hobbit crazy?
"Pip, the fireworks," whispered Merry urgently into Pippin's ear. "Remember the fireworks!" Pippin looked in astonishment at Merry, his thoughts slowly coming back into order.
"The fireworks, yes," he whispered nodding furiously. They looked around, aware that there was no more whining. By this time, they had reached the woods, and now Myrtle had disappeared.
"Miss Burrows?" Merry called out hesitantly into the woods. A ripping sound came from behind a tree as the two hobbits approached it cautiously. Behind the tree stood Myrtle, bonnet and gloves thrown on the floor, dress by her ankles.
"What are you doing?" called Merry as he regained the power of speech. She looked up, the earlier gleam in her eyes sparkling again. She grinned. She stood in a pair of shorts and a shirt which had been hidden under her full- skirted dress.
"Changing into something more comfortable. I thought you two would never take me away from Buckland!" she giggled mischievously. She looked much more like a tomboy with her short hair in the new outfit. "Well, I can hardly change in full view of all the other hobbits, can I?" she asked the two dumbstruck hobbits. "Can't have word getting back to my stuck-up mother that I'm not behaving like a lady!" With that, she scampered off into the woods.
"Are you two coming or not?"
&&&
QuackingFrog - OMG! You're right! Fred and George! Never meant for that to happen, but it's turned out well.
brachan90 - I hope I will never EVER write a Mary Sue! If it starts drifting along those lines, you'll let me know, right?
Next chapter should be up within the next couple of days. In the meantime, please R&R!