A/N: Now Erik narrates; Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! 3 (And beware of utter romance and *phluffiness* here within…)
Disclaimer: Unless Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber or one of the other owners of the various incarnations of Phantom that actually make money off of what they write, etc., has taken on the pseudonym Kates, you can rest assured that this is my writing, and that I still do not own Phantom. The song here is 'You're Still You' from Josh Groban's self-titled album. (*Love* you, Joshers!)
@{---------- You're Still You ----------}@
-- Erik --
Through the darkness, I can see your light, and you will always shine, and I can feel your heart in mine… Your face I've memorized, I idolize just you…
How many hours have I watched her, gazing upon her beautiful face and form as she moved about in her daily life: unknowing that she was observed by the adoring eyes of an ardent, would-be lover, who had been cursed to forever remain in the ether of the blackest shadows because of an inescapable fate? I had known that my heart would forever be hers alone from the first moment that I saw her. She had been so young then…
But I had seen something different in her, something unlike anything else I have ever seen in any other person. There was a light about her: a sort of serene, ethereal glow to her face, her spirit itself, that made my heart twist and ache within my chest, longing to be near her, so that the dark shadows of my corrupted, base existence could be eased by her light.
The years went on. I watched her grow from a sweet, innocent, pretty child into an even more wondrous creature: a spirited, intelligent, graceful young woman whose outward beauty was only magnified by the loveliness of that which lay within her. Every time I beheld her, my love beat against me like the wings of a bird, trapped within a gilded golden cage, bruising themselves in a frenzied bid for escape from the shadows.
Her face was the only sight that I wished to see, her voice all that I wished to hear…
She was a light in the darkness: a light that I coveted, and idolized.
My only devotion.
I look up to
everything you are… In my eyes you do
no wrong – I've loved you for so long, and after all is said and done…you're
still you… After all…you're still you…
Separation from her became too much for me. I was no longer content to stand by and watch her go through life, bearing all of its scorn and ridicule and cruelty on her delicate, perfect shoulders. I began to speak to her: through a mirror at first, under the guise of a being sent to her from Heaven itself. I wooed her with my voice…and yet, I knew that she would never truly be fooled by my charms. She knew that I was real – she always knew.
I didn't want to deceive her.
There was no need for deception, I found. She saw me for what I was – as the person I was, and nothing less. When I was with her, I discovered that I could indeed have hope…dreams…peace. Even happiness. She made my life new again: she changed me in ways I hadn't thought possible. All of the years I had spent in hopeless despair, longing to show her my love: did they mean something now, in spite of the trials and heartache that still surrounded us?
Nothing could change her: she was always the same, and I loved her so much…
You walk past me –
I can feel your pain… Time changes
everything; one truth always stays the same: you're still you… After all…you're still you…
I look up to everything you are… In my eyes you do no wrong, and I believe in you, although you never asked me to! I will remember you, and what life put you through…
My fingers pause in their stroking through her thick, silky, almost raven-like hair as my train of thought comes to an end and I return to the present. Feeling that I have ceased to move, she stirs within my encircling arms, turning her head up and to the side, and her brilliant blue eyes open, their fringe of dark lashes unveiling the seeming sapphires within.
"Erik?" she murmurs.
I smile at her, and duck my head low to press my lips against her ivory brow.
"Christine, Angel?" I pause, and then smile again. "I love you."
She shifts in my arms, placing her hands on top of my wrists, rearranging them so that I am holding her even closer: imprisoned in my embrace, her slender, delicate form fitting perfectly against my taller, broader frame. The moonlight from the sky above us – coupled with the sparkling glow of the stars – shimmers in the dark night, falling down in gentle streams about the balcony that we both stand on. It is very late at night; but then, we don't care. I certainly don't, not right at the moment, when I am here, with her. With her… I had always dreamed about this: living a life that was close to normal, as a normal man would, with my beautiful Angel as my wife. But I had never expected that such a dream could come true. Was I to blame for this? I had led a reviled existence for so many long years in my life: hated and feared by those who surrounded me. I had been a monster, a freak, the Angel of Doom, a ghost, a phantom, and the Angel of Music. And now, at least, I was free to be whom I wished – Erik. Christine turns around in my arms then, and her fingers entwine behind my neck, as she gazes up into my eyes. There is such devotion, such love, such passion, reflected in them. How could I have ever thought that she didn't love me? And in this cruel and lonely world I found one love! You're still you…"Erik?"
"Yes, mon cher bel ange?"
"I love you."
"Oh, Christine…I love you too."
It was true – truer than anything. I bent my head down, ducking it so that our faces were close to one another, and then I closed even that gap by kissing her. When our lips were free once more, I watched as hers curved gently, and her hand guided mine to rest just above her ribcage, where I could feel the presence of a third being on that balcony: our unborn child, mine and hers.
Very soon, I thought, very soon, we will show you this world, and you will begin your life, with us to guide you – to guide you, and love you.
This wonderful, seemingly fairy-tale life…it was mine to share with my Angel, because she was herself, and I was myself.
Because of love.
Because…
After all…you're still you…
A/N: Like it? Love it? Hate it? (Don't say I didn't warn you about it being insanely romantic and *phluffy*…) R&r!
"Now three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE."