Beginning of the End
Authors: Starchild and Saavik
Chapter Thirteen: Liberare tutemet
***Disclaimer*** See Chapter Seven.
When you see // ..// it means the person is thinking and not talking.
*******************
Harry had the afternoon free. The first one since he had come back to Hogwarts. He was leery to return to the Griffindor Common Room. //Neville is probably lying in wait.// Harry sighed. The normally quiet and friendly boy was driving him to distraction. Neville was always questioning him and trying to follow him around. //I thought he was here to help out Sprout. Must not take long. He is ALWAYS in the Common Room.// Harry was walking quickly to the quidditch pitch. //Neville will not come out here, and if he does I can out fly him with my eyes closed and my broom weighted down.// He mounted his broom and rouse into the air. Harry desperately wanted to clear his head.
//I just can't figure Snape out. One minute he is all, Harry this.Harry that and the next. Bahm. Potter you idiot. And what about the workload! I have been working like a house-elf for weeks.// He had arrived at Hogwarts in mid-July. It was now the beginning of August. His birthday had come and gone with the usual gifts except for one major change. Snape. He had received a present from Snape. Harry pushed his firebolt into a hard turn and circled back over the pitch. //Why? I just don't get it. The greasy git, is well, human. That is not right.// Harry dove quickly and pulled up just in time to graze the top of the turf. Rolling upside-down he flew towards the forest and out over the lake. Banking he came back toward the flying banners that marked the field.
His gift had not been ornate. It was a simple potions manual. But what confused Harry was its age. It was obviously very old and well worn. Inside, the cover listed the names of previous owners and Severus Snape stood out prominently right above a delicately written Harry Potter. A time worn inscription was etched into the back cover. It was in Latin: liberare tutemet. Save yourself. Harry did not understand why Snape would have given him this. The other names were all from prominent Slytherin families. Old blood, pureblood, and read like a whose-who of the Deatheater ranks. Was Snape asking him to switch sides? No. That couldn't be it. Snape had come back from that abyss. Than what could it be? Harry stopped in mid air and hovered high above the ground. What was the message, the meaning? //Damn that man. He has been around Dumbledore to long. Why can't he just say it, what ever it is, and leave me in peace?//
The last month had gone rather smoothly between the two comrades in circumstance. The potions they brewed would last Madam Pomfrey quite some time meaning if Snape had to attend to more complicated brewing later he could rest easy about the hospital's supply. Their other task was not going so well. The storage of the herbs Neville and Sprout had been growing was time consuming and tedious. The endless mind numbing plucking, washing, drying, sorting, clipping, preserving, bottling, labeling, spell- fasting, ..... was enough to make Harry miss the novelty of avoiding Dudley and Vernon. To make matters worse it was done in virtual silence. Snape would instruct Harry on what to do for the day and then leave him be. Every so often the professor would ask for something, a chart or tool, and Harry would pass it to him or vise-versa. And the thunderous sound of Snape's disapproval could still be heard echoing off the dungeon walls. But for the most part the days and evenings were spent in silence. Hands working and minds just thinking.
To much thinking. Harry would stand and bottle the dried yarrow and remember Cedric. Remember Wormtail. Simply remember. It was slowly eating him alive. Harry kicked the broom back into motion and glided to the ground. He was do back in the dungeons anytime now. Thoughts of another evening spent in restless contemplation slowed his feet on the return to the castle doors.
********* ******* *********
Severus Snape watched the young Griffindor sulk back to the castle and wondered. Did he understand the book? Did he know what was meant? Did Potter understand that he could not save everyone. The only person who could save you was yourself. All the men who had owned that book had done great things. The family names were proud. But the current owners of those names had forgotten that to be proud did not mean to be cruel. That power did not mean crushing the weak. Nor that to be aristocracy came with a price. To serve. They had forgotten that they were indebted to those upon whose backs their fortunes and names had been made. They believed that they disserved homage for simply existing. The book was a reminder that all can fall from grace. Young, old, proud, strong, Griffindor, and Slytherin. And the only way to find redemption was through yourself. Potter needed that lesson. Needed to understand that he alone could not save the wizarding world. Idiots like Fudge would make it hard enough to survive let alone preserver. No, Harry had to understand that the only individual he had to save was himself.
Severus turned back to the darkened towers of the ancient school and walked back to his private prison. He had not learned that lesson when he should have. The last potions master had given him that book before his sixteenth birthday and asked him what he would do to save himself. He had replied that he would simply keep going. The older man had looked him in the eye and told him that simple survival was not living. One day he would understand. Saying that he had handed the tome to the very confused boy and explained that redemption was a hard road one never traveled lightly. But no one could start him on the path. He had to take the first step.
Severus had not listened. He had followed his fellow classmates into the arms of Satan and thanked them for it. He had done it to survive. To fit in. To make a place for himself. He had not understood the path he was taking lead not to a home, but to a prison. A prison of self-loathing, groveling subservience, and cruel inhumanities. His teacher had known that Severus would have to make that choice. He had given him a way to find hope when he discovered his mistake. The book had lead him back to the light, back to himself. It was through that simple saying, save yourself, that he had found himself. Not through the teachings of a crazed lunatic or the hatred he had been taught. He had returned to Dumbledore not for a rescue but to began his own climb out of hell. Back down the path he should never have taken.
//Draco should be heading down the wrong path right about now. Merlin, the child does not, can not want this.// Snape's hand momentarily strayed to his left forearm. //Lucius has no idea about his son's true personality. The child could really have been wonderful as a teacher if he had not been trust into darkness at every chance. The boy acts like Lucius is god. I wonder if he can even see the disgrace the man lives in. It would probably brake him.//
Severus had reached his private quarters. He needed to change before he met with the Potter boy for the evening's work. The potion they would be brewing tended to heat the room up rather fast and his current robes would prove to heavy. Sighing he uttered the password and entered his sanctuary. "Imperium sui, liberare ipse."
*******
A/N: The book was given to Harry and not Draco because Severus knows that the lesson Draco needs is not about salvation. Draco needs to learn about free thought. Harry is the one who believes he has to save everyone and that he is not important. The lesson for Harry is not the same as for Snape or Draco. The book's meaning changes with the situation. The saying is simple yet can mean whatever the person needs it too. I doubt the book will resurface in this story. It was simply meant to show that Snape is concerned about Harry and really is making an effort to be civil. It also shows how important Snape deemed his discovery about Harry's sorting. He understands Harry better know that he found out that Harry has with in him the traits of a Slytherin.
What Snape doesn't know is how far Draco has come. Draco understands the lesson Severus is trying to teach Harry, Snape's lesson from so long ago, and his own lesson of free thought.
The book is kind of a 'god helps those who help themselves' thing. It is a big part of Snape's personality. That is why he hates Hermione helping Neville. He adamantly believes we all have to do it for ourselves.
This is just my Snape. What he is like in this story. You may say it is out of character, but I don't care. He has layers. He is cold and cruel, but he has a reason for every move he makes. He does. Really. Well, emotion got the better of him in book three. But be honest, wouldn't you want revenge for almost getting eaten?
About my latin: I don't know latin. It comes from a dictionary which means it is not conjugated properly or at all in most cases. The title is suppose to say save yourself. And the password is I command myself to save myself. Or something of the like.
LL&P Saavik
Authors: Starchild and Saavik
Chapter Thirteen: Liberare tutemet
***Disclaimer*** See Chapter Seven.
When you see // ..// it means the person is thinking and not talking.
*******************
Harry had the afternoon free. The first one since he had come back to Hogwarts. He was leery to return to the Griffindor Common Room. //Neville is probably lying in wait.// Harry sighed. The normally quiet and friendly boy was driving him to distraction. Neville was always questioning him and trying to follow him around. //I thought he was here to help out Sprout. Must not take long. He is ALWAYS in the Common Room.// Harry was walking quickly to the quidditch pitch. //Neville will not come out here, and if he does I can out fly him with my eyes closed and my broom weighted down.// He mounted his broom and rouse into the air. Harry desperately wanted to clear his head.
//I just can't figure Snape out. One minute he is all, Harry this.Harry that and the next. Bahm. Potter you idiot. And what about the workload! I have been working like a house-elf for weeks.// He had arrived at Hogwarts in mid-July. It was now the beginning of August. His birthday had come and gone with the usual gifts except for one major change. Snape. He had received a present from Snape. Harry pushed his firebolt into a hard turn and circled back over the pitch. //Why? I just don't get it. The greasy git, is well, human. That is not right.// Harry dove quickly and pulled up just in time to graze the top of the turf. Rolling upside-down he flew towards the forest and out over the lake. Banking he came back toward the flying banners that marked the field.
His gift had not been ornate. It was a simple potions manual. But what confused Harry was its age. It was obviously very old and well worn. Inside, the cover listed the names of previous owners and Severus Snape stood out prominently right above a delicately written Harry Potter. A time worn inscription was etched into the back cover. It was in Latin: liberare tutemet. Save yourself. Harry did not understand why Snape would have given him this. The other names were all from prominent Slytherin families. Old blood, pureblood, and read like a whose-who of the Deatheater ranks. Was Snape asking him to switch sides? No. That couldn't be it. Snape had come back from that abyss. Than what could it be? Harry stopped in mid air and hovered high above the ground. What was the message, the meaning? //Damn that man. He has been around Dumbledore to long. Why can't he just say it, what ever it is, and leave me in peace?//
The last month had gone rather smoothly between the two comrades in circumstance. The potions they brewed would last Madam Pomfrey quite some time meaning if Snape had to attend to more complicated brewing later he could rest easy about the hospital's supply. Their other task was not going so well. The storage of the herbs Neville and Sprout had been growing was time consuming and tedious. The endless mind numbing plucking, washing, drying, sorting, clipping, preserving, bottling, labeling, spell- fasting, ..... was enough to make Harry miss the novelty of avoiding Dudley and Vernon. To make matters worse it was done in virtual silence. Snape would instruct Harry on what to do for the day and then leave him be. Every so often the professor would ask for something, a chart or tool, and Harry would pass it to him or vise-versa. And the thunderous sound of Snape's disapproval could still be heard echoing off the dungeon walls. But for the most part the days and evenings were spent in silence. Hands working and minds just thinking.
To much thinking. Harry would stand and bottle the dried yarrow and remember Cedric. Remember Wormtail. Simply remember. It was slowly eating him alive. Harry kicked the broom back into motion and glided to the ground. He was do back in the dungeons anytime now. Thoughts of another evening spent in restless contemplation slowed his feet on the return to the castle doors.
********* ******* *********
Severus Snape watched the young Griffindor sulk back to the castle and wondered. Did he understand the book? Did he know what was meant? Did Potter understand that he could not save everyone. The only person who could save you was yourself. All the men who had owned that book had done great things. The family names were proud. But the current owners of those names had forgotten that to be proud did not mean to be cruel. That power did not mean crushing the weak. Nor that to be aristocracy came with a price. To serve. They had forgotten that they were indebted to those upon whose backs their fortunes and names had been made. They believed that they disserved homage for simply existing. The book was a reminder that all can fall from grace. Young, old, proud, strong, Griffindor, and Slytherin. And the only way to find redemption was through yourself. Potter needed that lesson. Needed to understand that he alone could not save the wizarding world. Idiots like Fudge would make it hard enough to survive let alone preserver. No, Harry had to understand that the only individual he had to save was himself.
Severus turned back to the darkened towers of the ancient school and walked back to his private prison. He had not learned that lesson when he should have. The last potions master had given him that book before his sixteenth birthday and asked him what he would do to save himself. He had replied that he would simply keep going. The older man had looked him in the eye and told him that simple survival was not living. One day he would understand. Saying that he had handed the tome to the very confused boy and explained that redemption was a hard road one never traveled lightly. But no one could start him on the path. He had to take the first step.
Severus had not listened. He had followed his fellow classmates into the arms of Satan and thanked them for it. He had done it to survive. To fit in. To make a place for himself. He had not understood the path he was taking lead not to a home, but to a prison. A prison of self-loathing, groveling subservience, and cruel inhumanities. His teacher had known that Severus would have to make that choice. He had given him a way to find hope when he discovered his mistake. The book had lead him back to the light, back to himself. It was through that simple saying, save yourself, that he had found himself. Not through the teachings of a crazed lunatic or the hatred he had been taught. He had returned to Dumbledore not for a rescue but to began his own climb out of hell. Back down the path he should never have taken.
//Draco should be heading down the wrong path right about now. Merlin, the child does not, can not want this.// Snape's hand momentarily strayed to his left forearm. //Lucius has no idea about his son's true personality. The child could really have been wonderful as a teacher if he had not been trust into darkness at every chance. The boy acts like Lucius is god. I wonder if he can even see the disgrace the man lives in. It would probably brake him.//
Severus had reached his private quarters. He needed to change before he met with the Potter boy for the evening's work. The potion they would be brewing tended to heat the room up rather fast and his current robes would prove to heavy. Sighing he uttered the password and entered his sanctuary. "Imperium sui, liberare ipse."
*******
A/N: The book was given to Harry and not Draco because Severus knows that the lesson Draco needs is not about salvation. Draco needs to learn about free thought. Harry is the one who believes he has to save everyone and that he is not important. The lesson for Harry is not the same as for Snape or Draco. The book's meaning changes with the situation. The saying is simple yet can mean whatever the person needs it too. I doubt the book will resurface in this story. It was simply meant to show that Snape is concerned about Harry and really is making an effort to be civil. It also shows how important Snape deemed his discovery about Harry's sorting. He understands Harry better know that he found out that Harry has with in him the traits of a Slytherin.
What Snape doesn't know is how far Draco has come. Draco understands the lesson Severus is trying to teach Harry, Snape's lesson from so long ago, and his own lesson of free thought.
The book is kind of a 'god helps those who help themselves' thing. It is a big part of Snape's personality. That is why he hates Hermione helping Neville. He adamantly believes we all have to do it for ourselves.
This is just my Snape. What he is like in this story. You may say it is out of character, but I don't care. He has layers. He is cold and cruel, but he has a reason for every move he makes. He does. Really. Well, emotion got the better of him in book three. But be honest, wouldn't you want revenge for almost getting eaten?
About my latin: I don't know latin. It comes from a dictionary which means it is not conjugated properly or at all in most cases. The title is suppose to say save yourself. And the password is I command myself to save myself. Or something of the like.
LL&P Saavik