A/N: Okay, last chapter for a week, I'm going on holiday for a week, and
can't write anymore till then. You know what would be highly encouraging?
Reviews! ^_^ Sorry about the non- setting language, but as I couldn't
think how to say it in the english they use in the medieval times, it had
to be said in todays.
"No shit Sherlock!" she yelled at the top of her lungs, then looked at them all standing around.
"Okay, I might be here, but maybe if I fall out of a tree, I might wake up, and this is *so* not funny," she groaned, as eight pairs of eyes watched her. Gandalf was smoking with his back to her.
"What is your name, Mistress?" Boromir asked politely.
"First of all, I am *not* a mistress. That's just.*weird*. And my name is Alex." They looked confused.
"We have heard that name before, but generally on.. well, men, mistress Alex," Aragorn finally replied.
"No, *not* mistress Alex, just Alex," they still looked perplexed. She sighed. "Fine, my full name. I'm Alexandra, oh god, I'm *so* gonna kill my dad, Galadriel Envorne. " she looked up.
"Are you an elf?" Legolas asked.
"Get with the programme, would ya? I said I'm human, about three times. And no, I have perfectly normal ears, thank you very much!" she said indignantly, indicating them.
"Have you been tortured, my lady? That looks strangely painful, and we will find the one who has exacted such torment upon you, and kill him," Pippin piped up, as the rest of the Fellowship nodded.
"Oh what now?" she howled. The Fellowship all took a hasty step backwards. She put a hand to her ear, and remembered that she was wearing earings that day.
"Come on, you must have seen earings before. I mean, Legolas, you must wear them on a nightly basis, dontcha, gay boy?" she said, smiling. The tall blond elf looked highly indignant.
"Nay, I never wear such..devices! But what is their purpose?" he asked. Alex thought a second, and then shrugged.
"How do you bear the pain?" Merry asked, staring up at her.
"It's kinda..not. And anyway, don't you have like an exit door, or something, cos if you're on this quest with the *one Ring* then you won't want me hanging around."
"What and *how* do you know of the one Ring?" Aragorn instantly demanded. He was pointing a sword at her, and oh, *what* a surprise, Legolas had his bow aimed at her again.
"I know about it because my friends are obsessed. And I know that it's the damn Ring, okay? You can't listen to your friends dissect the plot of the worst book in the history of mankind, closely followed by Swallows and Amazons without absorbing some factual detail. Believe me, I've *tried* not to listen," she said, rolling her eyes.
"Well it looks like you are joining us," Aragorn said, sheathing his sword.
"Nu uh, no way. You don't want me, really. I'm mean, I'm PMSy now, but in a week, it's full out hormones, and that's not pretty, believe me. And there's kinda nine of you, and I wouldn't want to detract that, and you're all male, so it's gonna be pretty damn painful," she protested weakily, backing away.
"Nonsense, girl. You are endangered by the knowledge you possess, as are we. Come, we will set up camp for this evening, and perhaps Arwen can be summoned to bring you.." Aragorn scanned her from top to toe. "Garments more befitting a lady."
"But hang on a second. According to the two freaks back home, Arwen is in some place beginning with River. And you guys are already on your way. So I 'll toddle off now, and leave you to get on with it, in my *own* clothes, and we'll leave it there, kay?" she smiled, hopefully, and her heart fell when the men present all shook their heads.
"Nay. We have just left Rivendell, t'is no more than four miles back. We are plenty able to aid you with garments and the like," Boromir agreed with Aragorn.
"Damn."
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&
It was a lot later. Gloomily, Alex sat in a tree, using a borowed knife to make a chart of all the places she'd prefer to be than here. The Fellowship were below her, and she'd learnt more than even her *friends* knew about them in the last few hours. And they would actually *want* to know.
"Are you coming down, my lady?" bellowed Boromir at the foot of the tree.
"Well, there's the option of being put through toture, or hey, why not stay up here?" she muttered, then yelled back. "No!"
Boromir returned to the fire.
"I think the lady has elf in her," he commented, grabbing his food. "She has spent all even in that tree."
"We elves do *not* spend all our time in trees. We appreciate nature, we are not antisocial!" Legolas muttered. Ever since they had met her, she seemed to resent her prescence here, and particularly *him* . He did not believe he had caused her harm, but she appeared to think so.
"I think that we should send her to Rivendell with Arwen, as soon as she comes," Gimli announced.
"Yeah, and then I can get away from the poncy Fellowship!" Alex yelled down from the tree.
They glanced up, and she threw a barrage of acorns down at them.
"I'm not coming down until I leave!" she yelled.
"It would be impossible to send her back with me," said a new voice.
"Arwen!" Aragorn said with genuine pleasure.
"God have mercy on our souls, watching the mush that takes place everytime *you* two get together!" Alex yelled again. Arwen looked up, then at Aragorn, then raised an eyebrow. She dismounted from the back of her horse, and sat down.
"My father does not wish to endanger Rivendell. He insists that you keep her among yourselves. He has sent extra supplies as befit a woman," she said, and going over to thehorse, withdrew garments and food from the saddle bags.
"I'm *not* wearing a dress. You can't make me!" Alex hollered agin., Be darned if she was gonna faint.
"Legolas, would you mind brining her down here?" Arwen asked, with a small smile. Legolas bowed, and allowed himself a small grin in return. Alex had no idea that the elf could *force* her down here.
He climbed lightly up the tree, until he was on the same branch as her.
"What the hell are you doing up here?" she shrieked, pelting him with a handful of acorns.
He dodged, and ducked, and picked her up around the waist. Screaming and kicking in indignation, she broke off a branch, and began hitting him with it, as he climbed down as fast as he could without dropping her. Much as he wanted to.
He gently dropped onto the ground, still holding her, and let her down. She promptly kicked him in the groin, and ran off to one side of the fire, and sat there, cross legged. While he groaned in pain, and all winced, except Arwen who smiled slightly, Arwen walked over to the angry female.
"What ails you, Alexandra, that you wound poor Legolas in such a manner?" she asked quietly.
"He pissed me off," Alex muttered. Arwen did smile then.
"The fellowship care only of your well being. And to travel among them in safety, you must be atired as a girl. If an Orc were to come upon you, then you could startle it with even rudimetary fighting skill if it did not believe that you were learned of the art," Arwen persuaded. Alex looked up.
"Why do I get the feeling I'm not gonna like this?" she groaned.
"No shit Sherlock!" she yelled at the top of her lungs, then looked at them all standing around.
"Okay, I might be here, but maybe if I fall out of a tree, I might wake up, and this is *so* not funny," she groaned, as eight pairs of eyes watched her. Gandalf was smoking with his back to her.
"What is your name, Mistress?" Boromir asked politely.
"First of all, I am *not* a mistress. That's just.*weird*. And my name is Alex." They looked confused.
"We have heard that name before, but generally on.. well, men, mistress Alex," Aragorn finally replied.
"No, *not* mistress Alex, just Alex," they still looked perplexed. She sighed. "Fine, my full name. I'm Alexandra, oh god, I'm *so* gonna kill my dad, Galadriel Envorne. " she looked up.
"Are you an elf?" Legolas asked.
"Get with the programme, would ya? I said I'm human, about three times. And no, I have perfectly normal ears, thank you very much!" she said indignantly, indicating them.
"Have you been tortured, my lady? That looks strangely painful, and we will find the one who has exacted such torment upon you, and kill him," Pippin piped up, as the rest of the Fellowship nodded.
"Oh what now?" she howled. The Fellowship all took a hasty step backwards. She put a hand to her ear, and remembered that she was wearing earings that day.
"Come on, you must have seen earings before. I mean, Legolas, you must wear them on a nightly basis, dontcha, gay boy?" she said, smiling. The tall blond elf looked highly indignant.
"Nay, I never wear such..devices! But what is their purpose?" he asked. Alex thought a second, and then shrugged.
"How do you bear the pain?" Merry asked, staring up at her.
"It's kinda..not. And anyway, don't you have like an exit door, or something, cos if you're on this quest with the *one Ring* then you won't want me hanging around."
"What and *how* do you know of the one Ring?" Aragorn instantly demanded. He was pointing a sword at her, and oh, *what* a surprise, Legolas had his bow aimed at her again.
"I know about it because my friends are obsessed. And I know that it's the damn Ring, okay? You can't listen to your friends dissect the plot of the worst book in the history of mankind, closely followed by Swallows and Amazons without absorbing some factual detail. Believe me, I've *tried* not to listen," she said, rolling her eyes.
"Well it looks like you are joining us," Aragorn said, sheathing his sword.
"Nu uh, no way. You don't want me, really. I'm mean, I'm PMSy now, but in a week, it's full out hormones, and that's not pretty, believe me. And there's kinda nine of you, and I wouldn't want to detract that, and you're all male, so it's gonna be pretty damn painful," she protested weakily, backing away.
"Nonsense, girl. You are endangered by the knowledge you possess, as are we. Come, we will set up camp for this evening, and perhaps Arwen can be summoned to bring you.." Aragorn scanned her from top to toe. "Garments more befitting a lady."
"But hang on a second. According to the two freaks back home, Arwen is in some place beginning with River. And you guys are already on your way. So I 'll toddle off now, and leave you to get on with it, in my *own* clothes, and we'll leave it there, kay?" she smiled, hopefully, and her heart fell when the men present all shook their heads.
"Nay. We have just left Rivendell, t'is no more than four miles back. We are plenty able to aid you with garments and the like," Boromir agreed with Aragorn.
"Damn."
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&
It was a lot later. Gloomily, Alex sat in a tree, using a borowed knife to make a chart of all the places she'd prefer to be than here. The Fellowship were below her, and she'd learnt more than even her *friends* knew about them in the last few hours. And they would actually *want* to know.
"Are you coming down, my lady?" bellowed Boromir at the foot of the tree.
"Well, there's the option of being put through toture, or hey, why not stay up here?" she muttered, then yelled back. "No!"
Boromir returned to the fire.
"I think the lady has elf in her," he commented, grabbing his food. "She has spent all even in that tree."
"We elves do *not* spend all our time in trees. We appreciate nature, we are not antisocial!" Legolas muttered. Ever since they had met her, she seemed to resent her prescence here, and particularly *him* . He did not believe he had caused her harm, but she appeared to think so.
"I think that we should send her to Rivendell with Arwen, as soon as she comes," Gimli announced.
"Yeah, and then I can get away from the poncy Fellowship!" Alex yelled down from the tree.
They glanced up, and she threw a barrage of acorns down at them.
"I'm not coming down until I leave!" she yelled.
"It would be impossible to send her back with me," said a new voice.
"Arwen!" Aragorn said with genuine pleasure.
"God have mercy on our souls, watching the mush that takes place everytime *you* two get together!" Alex yelled again. Arwen looked up, then at Aragorn, then raised an eyebrow. She dismounted from the back of her horse, and sat down.
"My father does not wish to endanger Rivendell. He insists that you keep her among yourselves. He has sent extra supplies as befit a woman," she said, and going over to thehorse, withdrew garments and food from the saddle bags.
"I'm *not* wearing a dress. You can't make me!" Alex hollered agin., Be darned if she was gonna faint.
"Legolas, would you mind brining her down here?" Arwen asked, with a small smile. Legolas bowed, and allowed himself a small grin in return. Alex had no idea that the elf could *force* her down here.
He climbed lightly up the tree, until he was on the same branch as her.
"What the hell are you doing up here?" she shrieked, pelting him with a handful of acorns.
He dodged, and ducked, and picked her up around the waist. Screaming and kicking in indignation, she broke off a branch, and began hitting him with it, as he climbed down as fast as he could without dropping her. Much as he wanted to.
He gently dropped onto the ground, still holding her, and let her down. She promptly kicked him in the groin, and ran off to one side of the fire, and sat there, cross legged. While he groaned in pain, and all winced, except Arwen who smiled slightly, Arwen walked over to the angry female.
"What ails you, Alexandra, that you wound poor Legolas in such a manner?" she asked quietly.
"He pissed me off," Alex muttered. Arwen did smile then.
"The fellowship care only of your well being. And to travel among them in safety, you must be atired as a girl. If an Orc were to come upon you, then you could startle it with even rudimetary fighting skill if it did not believe that you were learned of the art," Arwen persuaded. Alex looked up.
"Why do I get the feeling I'm not gonna like this?" she groaned.