A/N: This hasn't been put up in a week, because. hell, I've been on holiday
for a week! With no internet access. Which stank when it rained. Anyhoo,
reviews, thank you very much people, I have had 32 reviews, and am a very
happy author. But an addict, at the same time, and more would not go amiss.
This should make all Mary Sues authors cringe in horror. How *could* Alex
*act* like this? (slaps hand to forehead in mock horror)
The shriek of pure rage made all the Fellowship sit up from their meal, and stare at the clump of bushes Arwen had whisked Alex behind with looks of intense terror.
She'd been right. She *really* didn't like this. Arwen had expertly trussed her up in what Alex called 'chauvinistic propaganda for a bizarre mating ritual,' and Arwen described as, 'very pretty'. In short, a dress.
"Now, Alex, you cannot wear that.that thing," Arwen said sternly, indicating the sorry piece of material that was the only thing that remained on Alex from home. Except her underwear.
"Nu uh. Sorry lady, you're very pretty, and I'm sure that if I wanted my sword sheath colour coordinated with my gown you'd be excellent to ask, but my bandanna is staying on my wrist, seeing as you've done something with my hair," Alex said crossing her arms stubbornly. She didn't know what Arwen had done, and she didn't *want* to know. It had either been her hair, or the pink gown, and if she *ever* wore pink, Alex was sure that she'd have to perform the witch's scene from the Wizard of Oz screaming she was melting.
"Alexandra, would you behave yourself!" was the last thing that the Fellowship heard before the two young women exited the shrubbery. Arwen went first, smiling proudly, ands then Alex came out. And nine jaws dropped.
She was dressed in one of Arwen's dresses, which meant it was very feminine, but in a deep shade of blue. Her long copper hair had been brushed out, and tied up in a net, and her coffee coloured eyes were uncovered by her 'shades'. In short, she was pretty damn gorgeous. Except for the scowl of intense displeasure.
Aragorn walked over to Arwen, and took her hand.
"My lady, you have transformed her," he said, smiling. Arwen accepted the compliment with a regal nod.
"Yeah, now she actually *looks* like a girl!" breathed Pippin. Alex flashed him a death stare, and he gulped.
Boromir walked over, and offered his arm.
"My lady, we are about to start training the hobbits. If you would care to be seated?" he said corteously. Alex stamped on his foot.
"So because I'm dressed like one of you, you think I'm all weak. Great. Beth's greatest fantasy. Next Legolas will be carrying me off to Lothlorian and marrying me, then making mad passionate love all night!" she yelled. The Fellowship stared, as the pointy bits of Legolas's ears turned a deep crimson.
"Alex, sit down and behave yourself!" Arwen snapped, and grumpily, Alex sat down. The Fellowship gazed at Arwen in adoration, and she merely shrugged.
They ate, and drank long into the night, and then Pippin started up the hobbit songs. Alex sat there as the hobbits gave a chorus of different songs, unbelieving that something so small could make something so big.
"Now dancing!" Merry said, with an evil grin to Pippin. Pippin winked, and nodded.
"Hang on, there's two of us, and nine of you, and I *don't* dance!" Alex protested.
"So you refuse to honour us?" Pippin, said, hanging his head.
"Damn right I do!" Alex said.
"But the hobbits have sung for you, why not dance?" Borormir asked. Alex shot him a dirty look. (A/N This is not a romance, so get your mind out of the gutter)
"Yes, they have done their part, and wish to rest, but we must entertain them! Gimli does not dance, and Gandalf is."
" Gandalf is on the young lady's side in this," Gandalf interupted, with a small smile to Alex, which made her very sorry that he would be around her PMSy self in the next few days.
"So it is Aragorn, Boromir, and Legolas!" Boromir anounced cheerfully.
"And I shall sing with the hobbits!" Gimli announced. Frodo nodded.
"It would be a pleasure to sing for you, Mistresses Arwen and Alex," he said, tiredly, but with a small smile. Alex looked at what had been her arch nemesis back in the *real* world, and sighed.
"I." Alex thought a second. Should she admit that she couldn't dance? It was a really low activity on her priority list, but that didn't detracxt from the fact that she couldn't do it. Then a little smile spread across her face.
"Fine. I'll dance." The fellowship stared, they had never seen her give in so easily.
"Ahh, ahem, Mistress Arwen, would you care to dance?" said Aragorn, with a smile at his love. Arwen returned it, swept a curtsey, and took his outstretched hand, as the hobbits began singing of love, and hope.
Boromir and Legolas looked at one another. Neither wanted to be de-manned, but then neither wanted to give the impression that they were scared of a five foot four slip of a girl. It was true, they weren't scared. They were damn terrified.
Alex stood there, her hands folded demurely, a picture of goodness, with a sweet smile curving her lips. And an evil glint in her eye.
"Surely one of you will dance with me?" she asked innocently.
They glanced at one another.
"Legolas will."
"Boromir will," they answered at the same time. Then turned and glared at one another. Arwen stopped dancing.
"For shame! You are both true warriors, sworn to aid those in need, and yet you refuse to give a simple pleasure to this young girl?" she demanded, her hands on her hips.
Alex blushed. She wouldn't have put it quite like *that*.
Legolas and Boromir uneasily stepped forward. Alex accepted Boromir's outstretched hand, and pointedly ignored Legolas's look of blessed relief.
Then she proceeded to trample on Boromir's toes.
"A gift from the heavens, a song from above," the hobbits sang, much in the way of a Mary-Sue, while Boromir tried to stop the screams of pain escape his throat.
"Owww!" He failed. They came to a standstill, as he bent to massage his toes.
"Wench, when did you learn to dance? For the teacher should be hung, drawn and quartered for such torture exacted by his students!" he bellowed, not noticing Alex's eyes narrowing.
"First of all, wench went out of fashion about 800 years ago. Two, how *dare* you critisize me? You couldn't dance if Sauron shot fire at your toes!" she screeched. Hastily, Arwen stepped in.
"Alex, though your style of dancing is *interesting*, we shall allow Boromir a rest, and Legolas can instruct you in the way of dance of our people!" she announced cheerfully, as Legolas looked as if she'd just given him a death sentence. Boromir grinned.
"Suits me, wench!" he said, with a wink at Alex who glared.
Legolas stepped forward, as Merry and Pippin shot grins at one another.
"10 coins she kicks him," Merry whispered, and Pippin answered, "10 that he pulls out the knives."
Alex waited as Legolas walked to her side.
"Alex, place your hand on my shoulder," he said, and resisted the temptation to turn tail and run when she gave him a look that could melt steel.
"It's part of the dance!" he protested. Sullenly, she put her hand where he indicated.
"Now the other one I hold, and then I put my other hand on your waist," he carried on, doing so without looking at her, and then placing his plam onm her hip. Then found himself looking up at her from flat on his back. He had no idea *how* she'd done it, nor did he need to. All he knew was he'd just angered her further.
"No hands on my waist, *ever* buster!" she yelled, turning on her heel, and striding back to the campfire.
"Pay up," said Gimli, as the hobbits sadly fished out their money.
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The shriek of pure rage made all the Fellowship sit up from their meal, and stare at the clump of bushes Arwen had whisked Alex behind with looks of intense terror.
She'd been right. She *really* didn't like this. Arwen had expertly trussed her up in what Alex called 'chauvinistic propaganda for a bizarre mating ritual,' and Arwen described as, 'very pretty'. In short, a dress.
"Now, Alex, you cannot wear that.that thing," Arwen said sternly, indicating the sorry piece of material that was the only thing that remained on Alex from home. Except her underwear.
"Nu uh. Sorry lady, you're very pretty, and I'm sure that if I wanted my sword sheath colour coordinated with my gown you'd be excellent to ask, but my bandanna is staying on my wrist, seeing as you've done something with my hair," Alex said crossing her arms stubbornly. She didn't know what Arwen had done, and she didn't *want* to know. It had either been her hair, or the pink gown, and if she *ever* wore pink, Alex was sure that she'd have to perform the witch's scene from the Wizard of Oz screaming she was melting.
"Alexandra, would you behave yourself!" was the last thing that the Fellowship heard before the two young women exited the shrubbery. Arwen went first, smiling proudly, ands then Alex came out. And nine jaws dropped.
She was dressed in one of Arwen's dresses, which meant it was very feminine, but in a deep shade of blue. Her long copper hair had been brushed out, and tied up in a net, and her coffee coloured eyes were uncovered by her 'shades'. In short, she was pretty damn gorgeous. Except for the scowl of intense displeasure.
Aragorn walked over to Arwen, and took her hand.
"My lady, you have transformed her," he said, smiling. Arwen accepted the compliment with a regal nod.
"Yeah, now she actually *looks* like a girl!" breathed Pippin. Alex flashed him a death stare, and he gulped.
Boromir walked over, and offered his arm.
"My lady, we are about to start training the hobbits. If you would care to be seated?" he said corteously. Alex stamped on his foot.
"So because I'm dressed like one of you, you think I'm all weak. Great. Beth's greatest fantasy. Next Legolas will be carrying me off to Lothlorian and marrying me, then making mad passionate love all night!" she yelled. The Fellowship stared, as the pointy bits of Legolas's ears turned a deep crimson.
"Alex, sit down and behave yourself!" Arwen snapped, and grumpily, Alex sat down. The Fellowship gazed at Arwen in adoration, and she merely shrugged.
They ate, and drank long into the night, and then Pippin started up the hobbit songs. Alex sat there as the hobbits gave a chorus of different songs, unbelieving that something so small could make something so big.
"Now dancing!" Merry said, with an evil grin to Pippin. Pippin winked, and nodded.
"Hang on, there's two of us, and nine of you, and I *don't* dance!" Alex protested.
"So you refuse to honour us?" Pippin, said, hanging his head.
"Damn right I do!" Alex said.
"But the hobbits have sung for you, why not dance?" Borormir asked. Alex shot him a dirty look. (A/N This is not a romance, so get your mind out of the gutter)
"Yes, they have done their part, and wish to rest, but we must entertain them! Gimli does not dance, and Gandalf is."
" Gandalf is on the young lady's side in this," Gandalf interupted, with a small smile to Alex, which made her very sorry that he would be around her PMSy self in the next few days.
"So it is Aragorn, Boromir, and Legolas!" Boromir anounced cheerfully.
"And I shall sing with the hobbits!" Gimli announced. Frodo nodded.
"It would be a pleasure to sing for you, Mistresses Arwen and Alex," he said, tiredly, but with a small smile. Alex looked at what had been her arch nemesis back in the *real* world, and sighed.
"I." Alex thought a second. Should she admit that she couldn't dance? It was a really low activity on her priority list, but that didn't detracxt from the fact that she couldn't do it. Then a little smile spread across her face.
"Fine. I'll dance." The fellowship stared, they had never seen her give in so easily.
"Ahh, ahem, Mistress Arwen, would you care to dance?" said Aragorn, with a smile at his love. Arwen returned it, swept a curtsey, and took his outstretched hand, as the hobbits began singing of love, and hope.
Boromir and Legolas looked at one another. Neither wanted to be de-manned, but then neither wanted to give the impression that they were scared of a five foot four slip of a girl. It was true, they weren't scared. They were damn terrified.
Alex stood there, her hands folded demurely, a picture of goodness, with a sweet smile curving her lips. And an evil glint in her eye.
"Surely one of you will dance with me?" she asked innocently.
They glanced at one another.
"Legolas will."
"Boromir will," they answered at the same time. Then turned and glared at one another. Arwen stopped dancing.
"For shame! You are both true warriors, sworn to aid those in need, and yet you refuse to give a simple pleasure to this young girl?" she demanded, her hands on her hips.
Alex blushed. She wouldn't have put it quite like *that*.
Legolas and Boromir uneasily stepped forward. Alex accepted Boromir's outstretched hand, and pointedly ignored Legolas's look of blessed relief.
Then she proceeded to trample on Boromir's toes.
"A gift from the heavens, a song from above," the hobbits sang, much in the way of a Mary-Sue, while Boromir tried to stop the screams of pain escape his throat.
"Owww!" He failed. They came to a standstill, as he bent to massage his toes.
"Wench, when did you learn to dance? For the teacher should be hung, drawn and quartered for such torture exacted by his students!" he bellowed, not noticing Alex's eyes narrowing.
"First of all, wench went out of fashion about 800 years ago. Two, how *dare* you critisize me? You couldn't dance if Sauron shot fire at your toes!" she screeched. Hastily, Arwen stepped in.
"Alex, though your style of dancing is *interesting*, we shall allow Boromir a rest, and Legolas can instruct you in the way of dance of our people!" she announced cheerfully, as Legolas looked as if she'd just given him a death sentence. Boromir grinned.
"Suits me, wench!" he said, with a wink at Alex who glared.
Legolas stepped forward, as Merry and Pippin shot grins at one another.
"10 coins she kicks him," Merry whispered, and Pippin answered, "10 that he pulls out the knives."
Alex waited as Legolas walked to her side.
"Alex, place your hand on my shoulder," he said, and resisted the temptation to turn tail and run when she gave him a look that could melt steel.
"It's part of the dance!" he protested. Sullenly, she put her hand where he indicated.
"Now the other one I hold, and then I put my other hand on your waist," he carried on, doing so without looking at her, and then placing his plam onm her hip. Then found himself looking up at her from flat on his back. He had no idea *how* she'd done it, nor did he need to. All he knew was he'd just angered her further.
"No hands on my waist, *ever* buster!" she yelled, turning on her heel, and striding back to the campfire.
"Pay up," said Gimli, as the hobbits sadly fished out their money.
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