~~~ Chapter 2: Point of no return
Draco wondered the corridor's like a phantom and half the students gazed at him as if he were transparent and to Draco, he felt he was. Since Lucius's death, Draco was forced to keep a regal, proud, selfish air in front of his peers and fellow Death Eaters. It was a front that was slowly killing Draco's spirit to the point of no return. Draco, in his mind, wanted to be saved just like some muggle fairytale but it was absurd. Who would ~want~ to save him? A used, vile, evil Death Eater?
There was worry in some of the students eyes and even in Harry's there was to a certain degree. He'd even engaged Draco into conversation during Double Potions before Harry pressed onto matters that had not yet healed- mainly concerning the rumors about the Dark Mark that the Slytherin table was circulating. Morbid curiousity had caused Harry to try and pull Draco's sleeve back to see the infamous mark but was stopped by Snape. Points were taken alongside a detention. Harry didn't ask again although Draco knew that the Boy-Who-Lived wouldn't give in so easily.
Draco wasn't in the mood to attend dinner, it was self-concious terror that kept brought him to the library. At least there, he knew he would be alone. Draco peeped his head inside the half-slitted door, pale light streaming into the hall. He had hoped to be alone in his endeavors to raid the restricted section-the librarian was supposed to be a dinner along with the rest of the staff. He slid his wand inside his robes, not needing the Alohamora spell. Carefully, he slipped inside, peeking for the intruder.
His eyes scanned the entire expanse of the room before landing on a table closest to the restricted section. The figure raised golden orbs to stare at Draco in shock. "Professor Lupin," he murmured, his feet guiding him to the table with the werewolf. He knew that Remus wasn't a threat, thanks to Severus making the Wolfsbane potion, but it was frightening that a Dark Creature that could rip someones head off without little provoking was several feet in front of him.
Remus's lips curled into the kindest smile Draco had ever seen. "Hello Draco. Not hungry?" Draco shook his head. "You can join me if you like." Draco obeyed wordlessly and Remus felt he was talking to a brick wall! Remus kept his tone light and cheerful. "I wasn't hungry either though, Sirius would have my head if he knew I was here skipping out on him."
"Noone would miss me so I came here," Draco explained, his voice almost inaudible. He glanced at the book in Remus's hands. "Lycanthropy? Find anything interesting?"
"Unfortunately, no. I've been searching for a cure for more years than I care to remember. So far, nothing. What brings you here? I'm sure it wasn't because you came in search of me."
"I need in the restricted section."
"Well...I'm not supposed to but there's no harm in it." Remus went to his reading, waiting patiently for the boy to return and he did, arms laden with thick books. He raised a brow, reading a binding. "Dark Arts, A History. Not planning to kill someone, are you?"
"I want to see if there's any spells on how to rid of the Dark Mark," Draco said, not knowing why he felt the need to explain himself to the professor. He scratched irritably at the faint burning sensation that alerted that Voldemort and or his minons were near but not close enough to be on high alert.
Remus gave a wan smile. "It bothers you?" Draco just gave him a look that said, 'what do you think?' Remus chuckled at himself. "Quite obvious. Does....does it hurt much? Severus won't answer my questions and I am interested in knowing."
"It hurts when he summons me." Draco sighed, sitting on a chair beside Remus. "I know I should hate my father for making me get this but its also my fault, you know? I could have protested and went into hiding. I thought that by getting it would make me invincible." His visage turned grim as he mocked himself with a laugh. "Couldn't be more from the truth.."
The werewolf closed his own book and shifted from him to rest with his chin in his hand. He gazed intently at Draco who just so happened to glance at Remus. In one split second, two hears were beating as one and the loneliness that threatened to destroy them both had dissipated, leaving two souls on the verge of becoming one. Draco was the first to break the intense hold, cheeks flaming. Remus felt his own blazing warm at the brief eye contact. Instead of dwelling on what had just happened, Remus regan the conversation. "Um...are you alright?" Draco peered at him sharply, the reminsences of the blush giving him a more human like apperance. "You won't try anything stupid, will you?"
"What do you mean?"
"You wouldn't commit suicide would you?" Remus asked, soleful honey pools stared at Draco unblinking.
Draco flinched under the scrutiny, unconciously clutching his tattooed wrist. "It wouldn't matter," he whispered. "Now would it?" He gathered his wits and met Remus's gaze. "One less Death Eater would make the world a safer place. Goodnight, Professor." Draco didn't bother with the gaping teacher and he hastily took his leave from the library.
@-@-@-@---
"I dont think you understand Albus! Draco is a very disturbed boy!" Remus shouted, unlike his normal calm and composed state. His fists came crashing onto the table in Albus's office. Sirius placed a calming hand on Remus' shoulder while Severus arched both brows in surprise at the change in personality. Albus regarded Remus with a sternness not becoming of him. "I..I'm sorry Albus. I think that Draco is contemplating suicide."
"I dont think that possible Remus. Draco's stronger than you give him credit for."
"But you weren't there! God, that look in his eyes I know all too well." Sirius frowned. "I'll tell you later. The point is, Draco is seriously considering it. I think we should keep a closer eye on him."
"I dont think that you are right but I agree. There is no ruling out of such disasters. I'll come up with something that might help him relax. Speaking of Draco, don't you have to teach him in five minutes?" Albus reminded Remus who shot off like a bat out of hell. -I just hope your wrong Remus, for his and yours sake.-
Remus skidded into the classroom to find Draco leaning against one of the walls, boredly looking at his fingers. "Draco, I apologize for being late but I had a meeting with the headmaster and I lost track of time." Draco shrugged nonchalantly. "So...where's your wand?"
"I didn't bring it."
Remus cocked his head to the side. "What? Why not?"
"Because I dont feel like it. I'll just do extra tomorrow." Remus was at a loss. He racked his mind for something else productive they could to but there was nothing. "If you dont mind, Professor, I'd like to go to my room."
"Severus has asked that he not be disturbed until 8:30. Its only fifteen minutes. Why dont we go to the kitchen? Neither of us ate."
"I'd like that."
The walk to the kitchens was in uncomfortable silence, at least for Remus. For some odd reason the silent boy beside him made him nervous, made him want to strike up some sort of conversation, made him want to help Draco in any possible way he could. Upon their arrival, the House Elves merely glanced at them curiously before chattering again. Dobby and Winky came up to them. "Headmaster told Dobby you might be coming. Dobby will get you some food."
"Thank you," Remus responded courteously, his never failing manners in place like always. He made two chairs and a table appear and sank down on one, motioning for Draco to join him. Remus's stomach grumbled angrily. "I think I had better start to eat all of my meals and not skip. You should too."
Draco rolled his eyes. "I've been lectured by Black already."
"Oh really? What did he have to say?"
"Everything a goody two shoe Gryffindor would say." Remus bit his tongue at the remark he was going to make. Draco turned to look at Remus, drawling in that lethargic voice that all in the Malfoy family had used. "Your not like normal Gryffindor's. Maybe because you have an air of humility. You've seen the darker side of the world and aren't swallowed by the light. I suppose Potter is that way too but since he's fucking famous it doesn't matter, now does it? He's still the Golden Boy."
"Your unfair about Harry."
Draco grunted. "You dont know what you talk about Lupin. If you paid attention to the other students outside of your boyfriend's godson, then you'd notice that I'm not the only one who feels this way."
"Sirius is not my boyfriend."
Dobby appeared, setting the food in front of them. The plates were over- flowing. Dobby winked cheerfully. "Headmaster said for you to eat all."
"Damn Elves," Draco muttered, digging into his meal eagerly. After missing lunch and dinner, his body was craving nourishment. He gazed at his meal, not daring to look at Remus. The werewolf was so different from any he had ever met and he'd met alot of people. Remus was nice but not that overly sweet that made his teeth ache. He was intelligent in his own forte though he'd hear Severus bitch about how much Remus failed at Potions. Most of all, Remus understood him. He was on the same side of the track, both wandering in the darkness and had felt ridicule just like Draco himself. Remus had lived in fear for his life too. Little did Draco know that there was another thing in common betwixt them; both were lonely.
Draco wondered the corridor's like a phantom and half the students gazed at him as if he were transparent and to Draco, he felt he was. Since Lucius's death, Draco was forced to keep a regal, proud, selfish air in front of his peers and fellow Death Eaters. It was a front that was slowly killing Draco's spirit to the point of no return. Draco, in his mind, wanted to be saved just like some muggle fairytale but it was absurd. Who would ~want~ to save him? A used, vile, evil Death Eater?
There was worry in some of the students eyes and even in Harry's there was to a certain degree. He'd even engaged Draco into conversation during Double Potions before Harry pressed onto matters that had not yet healed- mainly concerning the rumors about the Dark Mark that the Slytherin table was circulating. Morbid curiousity had caused Harry to try and pull Draco's sleeve back to see the infamous mark but was stopped by Snape. Points were taken alongside a detention. Harry didn't ask again although Draco knew that the Boy-Who-Lived wouldn't give in so easily.
Draco wasn't in the mood to attend dinner, it was self-concious terror that kept brought him to the library. At least there, he knew he would be alone. Draco peeped his head inside the half-slitted door, pale light streaming into the hall. He had hoped to be alone in his endeavors to raid the restricted section-the librarian was supposed to be a dinner along with the rest of the staff. He slid his wand inside his robes, not needing the Alohamora spell. Carefully, he slipped inside, peeking for the intruder.
His eyes scanned the entire expanse of the room before landing on a table closest to the restricted section. The figure raised golden orbs to stare at Draco in shock. "Professor Lupin," he murmured, his feet guiding him to the table with the werewolf. He knew that Remus wasn't a threat, thanks to Severus making the Wolfsbane potion, but it was frightening that a Dark Creature that could rip someones head off without little provoking was several feet in front of him.
Remus's lips curled into the kindest smile Draco had ever seen. "Hello Draco. Not hungry?" Draco shook his head. "You can join me if you like." Draco obeyed wordlessly and Remus felt he was talking to a brick wall! Remus kept his tone light and cheerful. "I wasn't hungry either though, Sirius would have my head if he knew I was here skipping out on him."
"Noone would miss me so I came here," Draco explained, his voice almost inaudible. He glanced at the book in Remus's hands. "Lycanthropy? Find anything interesting?"
"Unfortunately, no. I've been searching for a cure for more years than I care to remember. So far, nothing. What brings you here? I'm sure it wasn't because you came in search of me."
"I need in the restricted section."
"Well...I'm not supposed to but there's no harm in it." Remus went to his reading, waiting patiently for the boy to return and he did, arms laden with thick books. He raised a brow, reading a binding. "Dark Arts, A History. Not planning to kill someone, are you?"
"I want to see if there's any spells on how to rid of the Dark Mark," Draco said, not knowing why he felt the need to explain himself to the professor. He scratched irritably at the faint burning sensation that alerted that Voldemort and or his minons were near but not close enough to be on high alert.
Remus gave a wan smile. "It bothers you?" Draco just gave him a look that said, 'what do you think?' Remus chuckled at himself. "Quite obvious. Does....does it hurt much? Severus won't answer my questions and I am interested in knowing."
"It hurts when he summons me." Draco sighed, sitting on a chair beside Remus. "I know I should hate my father for making me get this but its also my fault, you know? I could have protested and went into hiding. I thought that by getting it would make me invincible." His visage turned grim as he mocked himself with a laugh. "Couldn't be more from the truth.."
The werewolf closed his own book and shifted from him to rest with his chin in his hand. He gazed intently at Draco who just so happened to glance at Remus. In one split second, two hears were beating as one and the loneliness that threatened to destroy them both had dissipated, leaving two souls on the verge of becoming one. Draco was the first to break the intense hold, cheeks flaming. Remus felt his own blazing warm at the brief eye contact. Instead of dwelling on what had just happened, Remus regan the conversation. "Um...are you alright?" Draco peered at him sharply, the reminsences of the blush giving him a more human like apperance. "You won't try anything stupid, will you?"
"What do you mean?"
"You wouldn't commit suicide would you?" Remus asked, soleful honey pools stared at Draco unblinking.
Draco flinched under the scrutiny, unconciously clutching his tattooed wrist. "It wouldn't matter," he whispered. "Now would it?" He gathered his wits and met Remus's gaze. "One less Death Eater would make the world a safer place. Goodnight, Professor." Draco didn't bother with the gaping teacher and he hastily took his leave from the library.
@-@-@-@---
"I dont think you understand Albus! Draco is a very disturbed boy!" Remus shouted, unlike his normal calm and composed state. His fists came crashing onto the table in Albus's office. Sirius placed a calming hand on Remus' shoulder while Severus arched both brows in surprise at the change in personality. Albus regarded Remus with a sternness not becoming of him. "I..I'm sorry Albus. I think that Draco is contemplating suicide."
"I dont think that possible Remus. Draco's stronger than you give him credit for."
"But you weren't there! God, that look in his eyes I know all too well." Sirius frowned. "I'll tell you later. The point is, Draco is seriously considering it. I think we should keep a closer eye on him."
"I dont think that you are right but I agree. There is no ruling out of such disasters. I'll come up with something that might help him relax. Speaking of Draco, don't you have to teach him in five minutes?" Albus reminded Remus who shot off like a bat out of hell. -I just hope your wrong Remus, for his and yours sake.-
Remus skidded into the classroom to find Draco leaning against one of the walls, boredly looking at his fingers. "Draco, I apologize for being late but I had a meeting with the headmaster and I lost track of time." Draco shrugged nonchalantly. "So...where's your wand?"
"I didn't bring it."
Remus cocked his head to the side. "What? Why not?"
"Because I dont feel like it. I'll just do extra tomorrow." Remus was at a loss. He racked his mind for something else productive they could to but there was nothing. "If you dont mind, Professor, I'd like to go to my room."
"Severus has asked that he not be disturbed until 8:30. Its only fifteen minutes. Why dont we go to the kitchen? Neither of us ate."
"I'd like that."
The walk to the kitchens was in uncomfortable silence, at least for Remus. For some odd reason the silent boy beside him made him nervous, made him want to strike up some sort of conversation, made him want to help Draco in any possible way he could. Upon their arrival, the House Elves merely glanced at them curiously before chattering again. Dobby and Winky came up to them. "Headmaster told Dobby you might be coming. Dobby will get you some food."
"Thank you," Remus responded courteously, his never failing manners in place like always. He made two chairs and a table appear and sank down on one, motioning for Draco to join him. Remus's stomach grumbled angrily. "I think I had better start to eat all of my meals and not skip. You should too."
Draco rolled his eyes. "I've been lectured by Black already."
"Oh really? What did he have to say?"
"Everything a goody two shoe Gryffindor would say." Remus bit his tongue at the remark he was going to make. Draco turned to look at Remus, drawling in that lethargic voice that all in the Malfoy family had used. "Your not like normal Gryffindor's. Maybe because you have an air of humility. You've seen the darker side of the world and aren't swallowed by the light. I suppose Potter is that way too but since he's fucking famous it doesn't matter, now does it? He's still the Golden Boy."
"Your unfair about Harry."
Draco grunted. "You dont know what you talk about Lupin. If you paid attention to the other students outside of your boyfriend's godson, then you'd notice that I'm not the only one who feels this way."
"Sirius is not my boyfriend."
Dobby appeared, setting the food in front of them. The plates were over- flowing. Dobby winked cheerfully. "Headmaster said for you to eat all."
"Damn Elves," Draco muttered, digging into his meal eagerly. After missing lunch and dinner, his body was craving nourishment. He gazed at his meal, not daring to look at Remus. The werewolf was so different from any he had ever met and he'd met alot of people. Remus was nice but not that overly sweet that made his teeth ache. He was intelligent in his own forte though he'd hear Severus bitch about how much Remus failed at Potions. Most of all, Remus understood him. He was on the same side of the track, both wandering in the darkness and had felt ridicule just like Draco himself. Remus had lived in fear for his life too. Little did Draco know that there was another thing in common betwixt them; both were lonely.