Well here's chapter 1, I'm so sorry that it took so long. I didn't mean for it to, but unfortunately schoolwork caught up with me and I had to turn it all the assignments I never got around to first quarter. First Quarter of school is over with now so I can neglect second quarter's homework and finally write on my stories though so, yay! Hope you like.
Kyoshi
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My first "fuck-up", as Duo would so crudely term it, was completely unintentional. Of course most of them were, but this one was more so in the fact that I had no clue of what was coming. I suppose that it was a mix of everything, my memory returning, having to deal with the friendships that I now had, not to mention that damn pull of Quatre's that kept getting stronger and stronger.
It was just too much. I was thrown for a complete loop, standing on uncharted ground and sinking quickly. My newly discovered feelings were spinning around in me so fast that it was impossible to tell left from right or up from down. I was in ten feet above my head before I even knew what was happening.
I guess I should try and explain what happened a little better than telling you that I was so confused that I couldn't see my own feet. It was about two weeks after I got my memory back and Quatre and I were sharing a safe house, I was sitting at the kitchen table wondering what in the hell was happening with my life and for that matter what in the hell was I going to do with it.
Catherine wanted me to go back to the circus and work with her but I wasn't sure that I wanted to. I wasn't feeling pulled in any particular direction, I just wanted...hell I still don't know what exactly I wanted back then, but that's beside the point. Anyway, there I was sitting at the kitchen table ready to rip my hair out in frustration, not that it showed, when Quatre walked in.
I don't suppose it was until that day that I actually believed about his space heart. It was kind of creepy when he walked in, looked straight at me and asked what was wrong. It's kind of funny how a few words destroyed years of work. With just a quick glance Quatre had known that something was wrong and as I looked up at him I felt my mask fall.
I should have never let it happen. He would still be here today if it wasn't for me. If only I had told him nothing, told him everything was fine. If only I hadn't looked up at him, hadn't let the pain seep into my eyes. If only I hadn't let the frustration and confusion take over my face. If only I hadn't answered the questions he asked if only I hadn't have told him about my past. It only he hadn't asked...If only I hadn't let the mask slip...
I should have left right then and there. I should have gotten up and gotten as far away from Quatre as I possibly could have. I should have known...should have realized...how quickly the house falls after the foundation has cracked... I had broken the first rule…
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Notes: Okay, in the manga Trowa gets his memory back in the last battle and because I've never seen the Anime I'm using the manga to go by so this is directly after the war, before Endless Waltz and I know Trowa was at the circus when Endless Waltz occurred so I don't know how well him being at a safe house works but in Battlefield of the Pacifists they went on missions even after the war so they would still need safe houses, ne? At least I think that's how it works...I dunno I could be wrong, tell me if I am cuz I'll fix it.