Week 2

Day 1

       I know, I know, I should have told you what has been happening so you'd understand what happened today. I do know I'm pretty dumb to do what I did. But, oh well, I might as well tell you what happened today at exactly 10:35 pm. I was talking to Jenna on AOL when I got the urge to talk to James. But I didn't want to be soo obvious so, I told Jenna to call and see if he was home (I hoped he wasn't). So she did, but she did she dial the number correctly? Nooooo and how no one picked up, she told me that there was no one home. Therefore, I decided to call and check and guess what??? Jay, James' little brother answered the phone. I freaked out but then calmly I said, "Is James home?" (I was still hoping for him not to be home) but he was and they passed me on to him. After like 10 minutes of talking, our conversation came to the liking/loving/relationships area. This wasn't the best place where it could have gone. I got really REALLY nervous, especially when James told me Bob told him, that I liked James. I totally panicked but I acted as if I was going to cry because of how bad I'd been hurt in the past. Because of this, we changed the subject only to go back to it when he brought up "regrets". The conversation went something like this:

James: "Do you regret doing or not doing something?"

Me: "Of course! Who doesn't?"

James: "But I mean recently, um, about me."

Me (totally shocked, of course I wasn't going to tell him I did, I still had my pride.):  "I don't know, do you?"

James: "Regrets? Me? Not really, well, actually, yes."

Me: "I know the whole thing with Elena leaving you hanging and all but anything else?"

James: "Yeah but I can't tell you."

Me: "Why? Don't you trust me?"

James: "I do trust you, but well, they are about you."

Me (I was totally flabbergasted): "Really, what about me?"

James: "Remember that day on the bus?"

Me: "Which day? There have been a lot of days…"

James: "Remember the rainy day…"

Me: "Oh, yeah, that one."

James: "I was going t make a move on you, but I didn't."

Me (In TOTAL shock): Well, you didn't and I you lost your chance."

James: "So, I won't get another one?"

Me: "It's all up to you, its not like I'm actually going to make one, I never take the first step."

James: "Why?"

Me: "I'm too scared to get hurt"

James: "Come on! You should take risks!"

Me: "I can't."

James: "Do you like me?"

Me: "Yeah (As naïve as I am, I actually answered the truth), do you like me??"

James: "I'm getting there."

Me: "Oh."

       So that was that part of the conversation… after that we talked about different things and the like at 11pm, he asked me if I'd care to play a little game in which you have to answer with the truth and if you didn't answer or you told a lie, you had to do a dare. I agreed but only after we established what the dares were. We agreed that the first time you wouldn't answer, you had to grab the other person's ass; the second time, you had to give the other one a peck in the cheek; the third time, you had to give the other one a peck on the lips, and so on. Also, the one who won (the one who had to do less dares) would get a prize (we didn't establish that). The questions were diverse but were mostly questions about sex. To make a long story short, he has to grab my ass and I have to grab his, give him a peck on the cheek, and one on the lips. Also, he has to give me a real kiss because he lost (he had to go, so he lost by forfeit). Oh yeah, I found out A LOT about him and he found out A LOT more about me that I had bargained for, but when he asked me if I really liked him, I told him that sometimes I liked him and other times I liked another guy. I'm sooo nervous!! I don't know what's going to happen now but oh well, I just hope I didn't screw things up with him. Especially with that last confession, but what I think I forgot to tell him was that it always came back to him. But I hope that doesn't make a difference.

Day 2

       I got on AOL today and guess who was online? No other than James… Here's the conversation:

[21:19:17] Jackie: hey

[21:19:53] James: hey

[21:20:03] Jackie: sup

[21:23:56] Jackie: oh i get it u dont wanna talk 2 me

[21:23:58] Jackie: bye

       What a jackass!!! After all that happened yesterday!!! I'm such a fool!!! I hate myself! I'm not going to talk to him tomorrow.

Day 3

       Ok… I haven't seen him all day but I don't know, I guess that's just because of assembly and all.

Day 4

       He called me last night; I don't really remember what we talked about. Anyways I'll see him tomorrow (he doesn't have basketball practice, yey!!).

Day 5

       HAHAHAHHAHA!!! Today on the bus, he was about to make a move when the driver decided to drop me off first. He was soo stumped!! HAHAHA!!!

Day 6

       He hasn't called, nothing has happened.

Day 7

       OMG!! I can't believe I saw James hugging Ruth! They were coming down the stairs when James spotted me and let go of her. I was sooo stumped. I felt an urge to scream, I was mad with jealousy but I just turned around and left. He just called me because he thought I was mad at him because I didn't say hi to him. I told him I wasn't (even though I was) and that I just didn't want to disturb that little moment he was having with Ruth. He told me that I wouldn't of disturbed him and then we changed the subject.