Charmed 7
[Scene: VIP. Val, Maxine and Kay are looking over a book. Tasha, Quick, and Johnny are trying to avoid them. Nikki walks in and looks at the cover of the book]
Nikki: Hey, Is that a book of love spells?
Maxine: Yeah, found it in the valentine display over at the bookstore.
(She hands it to Nikki.)
Tasha: It's stupid.
Val: Is not.
Maxine: We just figured, you know, since we're dateless this year, maybe it'll give us some laughs.
(Nikki laughs to herself while reading the book.)
Val: What?
Nikki: Oh, nothing. It's just they've got it backwards. You'd never say it in that order. First you say what's lacking and then what's needed. Here, try this. "From strike of twelve count twenty-four, that's how long the spell is for, if to abate my lonely heart, enchant these gifts I thee impart." See? (Everybody stares at her shocked.) Um, Natalie's doing a paper on the growing popularity of witchcraft. She can't shut up about it.
Val: That's cool! Has she tried any spells?
Nikki: She's…tried..some…
Maxine: Have any worked?
Nikki: You'd have to ask her…
Tasha: This whole witchcraft thing is stupid, there's no such thing as magic.
Nikki: (under her breath) That's what you think
Val: Your such a spoilsport, Tasha!
Kay: Wouldn't it be cool if magic was real though?
Val: I know! I could just twitch my nose and have a new outfit!
Maxine: Oh I know! And we wouldn't have to bother with cooking!
Nikki: It doesn't work that way. You can't use magic for your own personal gain. There would be consequences.
Val: What?
Nikki: It's a wiccan rule. There are bad consequences when you use magic for your own personal gain.
Johnny: How do you know that?
Nikki: ….It's in Natalie's paper…
Val: It's like in the Spider Man movie, where the Grandfather goes, "With great power comes great responsibility." Right?
Nikki: Yeah. Like that.
[Scene: Val and Maxine's place. Maxine, Kay and Val are about to do the love spell. A pig, a rabbit and a snake are on the floor.]
Kay: Okay, I'm freaked. Can we turn some lights on?
Val: No, we can't. Can we?
Maxine: It'll spoil the mood. Come on, it says to join hands.
(They join hands.)
.
Maxine: Okay, let's do this. Say it with me.
Maxine, Kay, Val: "From strike of twelve count twenty-four, that's how long the spell is for, turn these gifts into a mate, and then my lonely heart abate."
(Nothing happens.)
Kay: Okay, that was fun. Can I go now?
Maxine: Wait, didn't Nikki say some of the words were wrong?
Val: Why don't you call her?
Maxine: I don't have to. The power of technology.
(She gets her tape recorder and plays it.)
Nikki's voice: From strike of twelve count twenty-four, that's how long the spell is for, if to abate my lonely heart, enchant these gifts I thee impart.
(A bright light and smoke fill the room. Then the animals turn into three naked men.)
[Scene: Next morning. Manor. Kitchen. Nikki's there. Nina comes in looking like she just woke up.]
Nikki: What's wrong with this picture?
Nina: Okay, is that rhetorical or do I actually have to open my eyes to look at something?
Nikki: Well, it's a weekday and Natalie Franco is already at campus, while Nina Franco, master of the morning meetings, sultan of scheduling and queen of...
Nina: Cut it.
Nikki: How's it feel to be footloose and office free?
Nina: Amazing. You know what I'm gonna do today?
Nikki: What?
Nina: Absolutely nothing.
Nikki: Really? Nina, Nothing entails physically doing nothing, thinking about nothing and worrying about nothing, as suppose to your sister here who's so in the middle of something.
Nina: What are you in the middle of?
Nikki: Going to work. Bye.
Nina: Why you..You got me worried!
Nikki: Your not doing nothing very well are you?
(Nikki leaves)
[Scene: Val and Maxine's place. The three animal guys are dressed in Val and Maxine's clothes.]
Pig guy: I need to eat.
Maxine: (to the pig) You've already eaten everything in our fridge. Val will be back with food any minute. Just wait, okay?
Rabbit guy: Whoa, what are we supposed to do until then?
Snake guy: Fine question. What should we do? You two are acting like nothing's changed. Like you're still trapped in the confines of your cages. Behaving like animals.
Kay: That's what you are.
Snake guy: Not anymore, thanks to you. You've been given a gift. It's time to take it out for a test drive. What it looks like from up here.
Maxine: You can't. I mean, you have to stay here. (They walks towards the door.) Wait.
(They leave.)
Kay: What are we going to do?
Maxine: Well, the spell only lasts twenty four hours right?
(Kay nods)
[Scene: VIP.Tash, Quick and Nikki are there. Nina walks in.]
Nina: Hey, sorry to barge in but we thought we'd come visit for awhile.
Quick: Your welcome here all the time.
Tasha: Where is Kay?
Nikki: Relax. There's coffee. They probably just stayed up late playing with that spell book of theirs and they're sleeping in. I wouldn't worry.
Nina: So, um, do you need help with anything?
Nikki: What happened to doing nothing?
Nina: I'm finished.
Nikki: You can't finish doing nothing.
Nina: So then how do you know when you're done?
Tasha: I'm gonna go have lunch. ( she gets up to leave)
Quick: I'll go with you. If Nikki doesn't mind staying here.
(Natalie enters)
Nikki: Go eat lunch. I don't care. I'll just antagonize my sisters.
Natalie: Wait…Antagonizing is my job…
Nikki: Not today
Natalie: (Pouting) But..
(Quick laughs as he and Tasha leave)
Natalie: Okay, guess what I saw on Nat TV.
Nikki: No, not a premonition. It's valentines day. Can't there be some kind of supernatural day off?
Nina: What did you see?
Natalie: There was a guy on campus harassing this girl, so I tried to stop him and wham! it was
really weird. Like a guy biting a girl.
Nikki: Biting? Or kissing? It is that time of year, it could've been kissing.
Natalie: Hmm, maybe, it could of been I guess.
Nina: Most people kiss on valentines day, except of course for witches. No, witches don't get to kiss on valentines day because something always comes up.
Nikki: Okay, so maybe it was just some drunk frat guy and his chick of the moment.
Natalie: Yeah, maybe. It just, it wasn't very clear. And then I followed him and I think he jumped over this wall.
Nina: He jumped over a wall?
Natalie: Yeah, well, there was a ladder pretty close.
[Scene: Outside Val and Max's place. Val, Max, and Kay are walking in with groceries and guys clothes.]
Kay: Maybe we should change them back?
Maxine: I agree but how?
Val: Maybe we should ask Nikki…
(They walk in their room. The rabbit, pig and snake guy are there. The snake's holding the spell book.)
Snake guy: What does this mean?
Maxine: It's a spell. That's what made you human.
Rabbit guy: Yes, but for how long?
(You see his fingers are starting to turn back into rabbit claws.)
Snake Guy: He asked you a question.
Kay: Twenty-four hours. Actually now it's more like twelve.
Snake Guy: Well, fix it. We've decided we would like to stay this way.
Rabbit Guy: Yeah, we're having fun.
Val: Yeah, sure looks like it. Am I wrong here but aren't you supposed to be mine?
Snake Guy: Aren't you having fun, Val? You know, you can have much more fun if we had more time.
Maxine: I might know how.
Kay: No.
Maxine: Okay, we can't but I might know someone who might. Nikki.
Val: Wait, I know where she lives.
Snake Guy: Show us the way.
Pig Guy: Uh, we're gonna eat though, right?
Kay: Guys, I really don't think we should…
Snake Guy: Why don't you go on ahead. We'll catch up. (Val and Maxine leave.) Now why do you have to be such a little trouble maker?
[Scene: Book store. Nikki and Natalie are picking out a card for Leo.]
Natalie: Thanks for keeping me company.
Nikki: Better here than at the club with Nina. Her boredom has turned her into the demon of decoration.
Natalie: Why don't they make a card that says "You're a mortal and I'm a witch and a demon will probably attack us on a date and try to kill but we can still make it work."
Nikki: Hey. (Nikki picks up a card.) How about this one? (She reads it.) Oh, yeah, yeah, very sweet. Ta assussa sasa.
Natalie: And what is that supposed to say?
Nikki: That says something in Portuguese but at least you won't have to worry about him taking it the wrong way.
Natalie: Thank you. (Nikki notices the spell book in the shop.) "To the special person who lights up my day. I'll treasure you always."
Nikki: Ohh, of course.
Natalie: And then I'll spit up on myself.
(Nikki laughs.)
Nikki: Ooh, the girls at VIP are reading this. (She picks up the spell book.) We are so in right now.
Natalie: We are not in. Love is and this stuff gives people hope that they can find it.
Nikki: Yeah, the problem is people think they can get into magic without dealing with the consequences.
Natalie: But this stuff, none of it's like in the Book of Shadows. For one thing, it doesn't really work. I mean, normal people can't make this work. (Nikki remembers something.) Right? Nik?
Nikki: Not without a little help. Um, I have to go call Nina. I think I need her help with something.
(Nikki runs off.)
Natalie: Something to do? She'll be thrilled. (Natalie picks up another card.) Okey dokey. (All it says on it is "For you always.") Now that's a card. (She puts it back and picks up another one.) This'll do.
[Scene: Manor. The rabbit guy smashes the glass on the front door and puts his hand in to open the door.]
Maxine: You can't do this.
Val: This is going too far.
(They walk inside.)
Snake Guy: Rules like cages, were meant to be broken.
Maxine: Okay, since leaving campus, you guys have beaten a pedestrian to a pulp and played chicken with a car. Are you on something?
Val: Or just your average crazy? Look, Kay seemed fine but if she's really not feeling well like you said, we should go home. Or at least call her.
Snake Guy: We need Nikki.
(The pig guy pulls some skin off the back of the snake guys neck and there's snake skin underneath.)
Maxine: Oh, my God.
Pig Guy: What's happening?
Rabbit Guy: We're changing back.
Val: The spell said this would happen. Look, Nikki's not here and there's nothing we can do to change things. It's not like we made up the rules. So, why don't you just like let us go?
Maxine: God, Kay was right. We shouldn't have done this.
(The snake grabs Maxine. She screams and he bites her on the neck. She falls to the floor.)
Snake Guy: She talked too much.
(The rabbit guy grabs Val.)
Val: Don't touch me.
Pig guy: Guys stop! This isn't fun anymore.
Rabbit guy: Yes it is.
Snake guy: Next time you want a dangerous man, you might wanna make sure he's not poisonous.
(She screams and he bites her on the neck. She falls on the floor.)
Pig guy: Why'd you do that? Are they...?
Snake guy: They will be.
Rabbit guy: Don't we need both of them and Nikki for the spell? That's how it worked before.
Snake guy: Four hours until we turn back. Four hours until they die from the poison. I think that information might motivate this Nikki to help us. (His snake tongue sticks out.) Her scent, it's everywhere. She's not here right now.
Pig guy: Let's go home, okay guys. I've had enough. We're not meant to be like this. (He starts
crying. They walk up to him.) What? Come on, guys, what? No. Not me.
(They both squeeze him really hard and he starts squealing like a pig. He falls to the floor.)
Snake guy: I didn't think he'd ever shut up.
[Scene: Outside Val and Max's place. Nina and Nikki walk up to the door]
Nina: (uses her power and unlocks the door. They walk in.) God, this place is a mess. I mean, boys are bad but this is a pig sty.
Nikki: I don't think they did this.
Nina: Hey, is this the spell book?
(The book's on the floor.)
Nikki: Yeah.
(They hear noises in the closet.)
Nina: What was that?
Nikki: It's in the closet.
(They walk over and open the closet. Kay is in there locked in a cage.)
[Scene: Manor. Living room. Nina, Nikki and Kay are there.]
Nikki: Look Kay, I know what you've been through has been really hard but the only way that we can help you is if you tell us what happened.
Kay: There's no way that you'd understand.
Nina: You won't find two more understanding people in this particular instance.
Kay: It just sounds crazy and you'll think that I'm...
Nikki: Very brave for facing whatever it is.
Kay: You remember that spell that we showed you in VIP? Well, it worked. Not liked it helped us meet guys, it helped us make guys out of animals.
Nikki: And you did this from the spell in that book?
Kay: Yeah, and we even played back the tape that we were recording in VIP so we could here your corrections for the spell. (Nikki and Nina look at each other.) But before we had a chance to chant the new version, there they were.
Nina: Alright, so what is it you think these men want with you?
Kay: I don't know. Maybe it's our fault because we tried to make them into something they're not.
Nikki: No, you can't blame yourself for the actions of other people. We're gonna fix this. First we have to fix you. I'll be right back. (She walks in the kitchen and looks in a cupboard.) If I were hydrogen peroxide, where would I be? (She hears a noise in a closet.)
[Cut back to Nina and Kay. Nina notices the broken glass on the door.]
Nina: Nikki!
[Cut back to Nikki.]
Nikki: Nina, where do we keep the hydrogen peroxide?
(Nikki opens a closet and the pig guy falls out on top of her. Nina and Kay run in the kitchen. Nikki pushes the pig off her.)
Kay: Oh my gosh. He was one of them, except he didn't look like that.
Nina: The spell must be wearing off.
Nikki: They're starting to look and act more like animals.
Nina: Alright, look, they have killed one of their own, there's no telling what they're gonna do or what they already have done to your friends.
Nikki: Do you know what they want?
Kay: You.
Nikki: What?
Kay: They're having fun and they wanna stay this way and Maxine told them that you'd be able to help them.
Nikki: Where are they now?
Kay: There. (She gets the flier for the valentine party at FOAM off the fridge.) That's where I think they'll be.
[Scene: Side of the road. The snake guy and rabbit guy are there with a broken down car. A car drives past and they wave him to stop.]
Man: You guys need some help?
Snake guy: You could say that. I think we're outta gas.
Man: What can I do for you?
(The snake guy's eyes turn into snake eyes.)
Snake guy: You could not scream.
(The rabbit guy jumps on the bonnet of the car. Then the snake guy jumps on the roof, runs across it, leans over the edge and strangles the guy. Rabbit guy opens the boot of the other car and Val and Maxine are in there.)
Rabbit guy: Okay, ladies, papa's gotta brand new set of wheels.
[Scene: Val and Max's place. Johnny, Quick and Tasha are there looking around.]
Quick: What could have happened to them?
Tasha: I don't know, but everything is in pieces…
Johnny: Except this. (He holds up a flier for the party at FOAM)
Quick: Do you think that they're there?
Johnny: It's a long shot.
Tasha: It's our only shot. Let's go.
[Scene: FOAM. Natalie's talking on her cell phone.]
Natalie: Nina, the place is full of snakes. How am I suppose to pick out the right one? Okay, you're five minutes away? Okay, as fast as you can would be good.
(She hangs up.)
Relic: Is everything OK?
Natalie: When is it ever.
(Natalie's date comes in)
Ethan: Hey. Will you be my valentine?
Natalie: I hope so.
Ethan:. So let's get started.
Natalie: Um, about that.
Ethan: You're kidding. Just tell me you're kidding.
Natalie: What?
Ethan: Wait, let me guess, It's something with your sisters, or maybe you'll be vague and just say something important's come up, or my favourite of all time - it's a matter of life and death.
Natalie; Actually, what I was going to say, if you would let me, is that I'm running a little late and could you please wait for me at the bar.
(She walks away. The rabbit and snake guy enter the club. They walk around looking for Nikki. Nina, Nikki and Kay enter the club. Nikki's holding a pen and paper.)
Leo: Hi guys.
Nina: Hey.
Leo: Natalie's stressing in the alcove.
Nina: Kay, Leo, Leo, Kay. Can you watch her for us for a little while please?
Leo: Yeah, sure.
Nina: Nikki, how's the spell coming?
Nikki: It'd be coming a lot better if I could get my hands on a pinch of the salt of life.
Leo: We got the salt of margaritas.
Nikki: I will take it.
(Nina and Nikki go in the alcove.)
[Cut to the alcove.]
Nina: Hey, how's my stressed out sister?
Natalie: Well, we've moved past something and straight into everything. The view sucks, I don't recommend it. How goes the battle plan?
Nina: Well, we didn't find anything in the Book Of Shadows.
Nikki: Which makes sense because the animen or whatever were created by careless magic, not supernatural evil.
Natalie: So where does that leave us?
Nina: In the hands of our spellbinding sister who's writing a little hocus pocus to turn these men back into animals before they get completely out of control.
Nikki: Easier said than done. I do not write well under pressure.
Nina: Any sign of him?
Natalie: Nope.
(Leo comes in and hands the salt to Nikki.)
Nikki: Oh, thanks Leo.
Leo: Uh, Kay says Val and Maxine aren't here.
Kay: But they are.
(They see snake guy and rabbit guy coming towards them.)
Snake guy: Nikki, so nice to smell you.
Nikki: He just spotted me.
(The snake peels some skin off his face and snake skin is underneath.)
Nina: Okay, how are we doing on that spell?
Nikki: You know, you keep throwing this 'we' word around and I don't see you doing anything.
(Johnny, Quick and Tasha enter and go to the alcove after seeing Kay standing outside of it.)
Quick: Kay! Your OK!
Tasha: Where are Val and Maxine?
Nikki: You know, if everybody would just stop talking this would go faster!
Natalie: (Putting down the book of spells after reading the spell that had been cast) Do you want help?
Nikki: That would be nice!
Nina: They're coming this way!
Nikki: Stall them!
Kay: I still don't see Val and Maxine!
(Tasha sees the two guys coming towards them.)
Tasha: I don't know what this is about, but Johnny, Quick and I can hold them off. (Johnny and Quick nod. Quick and Tasha pull out their guns and the three go out towards the two guys.)
Nina: No! Don't! (Nina astral projects behind the two animal guys, where Johnny, Quick and Tasha can't see.)
Nikki: Okay, I got it.
Snake guy: (to Nina) Make us human. By the time we find your friends, they'll be dead.
Nikki: Okay. "Something wicked in our midst, in human form these spirits dwell..."
Nina: Nikki, no!
(Nina astral projects back in her body.)
Nikki: "Make them animals sayth the spell."
Nina: Nikki, they hid the girls. Okay, we need to keep them human until we find out where they are.
(Nikki looks out of the alcove and sees everyone in the club has turned into animals.)
Nikki: Ohh!
Nina: Okay, what's going on?
Nikki: Uh, the good news is the spell worked.
Nina: And the bad news?
Nikki: The spell worked on everyone.
(Nina and Natalie look out of the alcove.)
Natalie: Does Relic have a permit for this kind of Party? Look, I'll write the next spell.
Nikki: Good idea.
[Time lapse Scene: FOAM. Nina and Nikki are putting the rabbit and snake in boxes.]
Nina: At least we don't have to try and figure out what species our innocence are.
Nikki: Yeah, but if Kay's right and they're not here, then what?
Nina: Well, right before you cast the spell, the snake said something about if we don't make them human, then the girls will die.
Natalie: Okay, so how much time do we have?
Nikki: Kay said the spell lasts for twenty-four hours and they cast it at midnight, so...
Nina: That's in thirty-five minutes.
Natalie: Okay, you know, You guys I'll clean up this mess (Nikki manages to look sheepish) You guys have to find Val and Maxine because if my premonition was right...
Nikki: As they always are.
Natalie: And they probably were both bitten by that snake, which means that if they don't get medical attention they could die.
Nina: Alright, we'll go try find something in the car, a hint that will lead us to them.
Nikki: Okay, Natalie, you try and turn this room back and we will try to find the girls and...
(A monkey kisses Natalie on the cheek.)
Natalie: Um, uh...
Nikki: Go kiss someone else.
Nina: Let's take these guys with us, make sure they don't turn human.
(They pick up the boxes.)
Nikki: Are you sure we've got the right ones?
Nina: Well, yeah, it was the only rabbit and snake next to each other.
Natalie: And the only two that put up a fight. (Nina and Nikki start walking towards the door.) Whoa, they're fleeing. Nikki, how about a little supernatural choral? (Nikki freezes all the animals.) Thank you. (Nina and Nikki leave.) Okay, I would like you all to know that I'm vegetarian, okay. I have never eaten any of you.
[Cut to outside. Nina and Nikki are carrying the boxes out to the car park.]
Nina: Why do I have to carry the poisonous snake?
Nikki: Because you're the oldest.
Nina: So?
Nikki: So you've lived a full life.
Nina: Wait, you think that's the car over there?
Nikki: What, you want me to ask him?
(She shakes the box.)
Nina: You know what? You're a smart ass. Come on, we don't have much time.
(They walk over to the car and puts the boxes on the ground.)
[Cut back to Natalie. The animals unfreeze. A dog starts eating Natalie's herbs.]
Natalie: No! Bad dog. Icksnay on icklingay. Alright, you know what? Nobody bothers the witch, okay. If we all remain calm, I will have everything under control and back to normal, alright?
[Cut back to Nina and Nikki. They'd just finished looking in the car.]
Nikki: Nothing. Now what?
Nina: Trunk. (Nina uses her power and opens the trunk. They see Val and Maxine there.) Oh my God.
(Nikki feels their pulse.)
Nikki: They have a pulse. It's still there but it's faint and we need to get them to the hospital now.
Nina: Alright.
[Cut back to Natalie.]
Natalie: "Undo the magic acted here, reverse the spell so all is clear."
(All the animals turn back into humans.)
[Cut back to outside. The rabbit and snake turn back into humans as well. The snake grabs Nikki.
The rabbit goes over to Nina.]
Nina: Piss off, Thumper! (She uses her power and he crashes into wooden boxes. The snake tries to bite Nikki.) Oh, oh!
Nikki: What's happening?
Nina: Natalie reversed the spell. It must of worked on all the animals. Nikki, hold on.
(Nina uses her power and Nikki and the snake fly through the air and hit the wall. The rabbit
jumps on and she kicks him off. Nikki grabs a long piece of wood and hits him between the legs.)
Nikki: How's it feel to be a man now? (She punches him in the face and knocks him out. The rabbit gets ready to scratch Nina and Nikki freezes him.) What do you say we wake up Dr. Poison here and move him... move, uh, Thumper there right into his fangs.
Nina: I've got a better idea. Come on.
[Time lapse. A policeman is putting snake guy and the rabbit guy in the car.]
Rabbit guy: At least we're human for good now.
Snake guy: Shut up.
(The car drives off. Nina, Nikki and Natalie are standing there.)
Nina: So it looks like they got what they wanted. They get to be treated like humans.
Natalie: And caged like them too.
(Relic comes up to them.)
Relic: You three sure are re-writing the book on public service according to some officers over
there
Nikki: So are they gonna be okay?
Relic: Yeah. They're on their way to the hospital. I think you found them just in time. How did... I'm not even gonna ask.
[Scene: Inside FOAM. Nikki and Kay are in the alcove. Tasha, Quick and Johnny, while thoroughly confused went to see Val and Maxine. Nina is at the bar getting a drink and Natalie is dancing with her date.]
Kay: So you're a witch. That's how you knew about all the wiccan rules and stuff.
Nikki: Yeah, that's where all my family emergencies come from also. But Kay, You have to promise not to tell anyone.
Kay: I promise! I'll even cover for you at work.
Nikki: Thanks.
(Nina comes and sits down handing Kay a drink)
Nina: I see that she's going to keep our secret. That's good.
Kay: I'll leave the magic to the proffessionals and just stick to computers!
(Nina and Nikki laugh.)
[Scene: The hospital. Val, Maxine, Tasha, Quick and Johnny are there.]
Val: No I swear! We were bitten by a snake that was turned into a man! And he wanted Nikki because she could make a spell that would make him human forever, or so he thought.
Tasha: The people qho kidnapped you two are in jail, and they are full blooded humans.
Maxine: She's tellng the truth! Just ask Kay! We cast that spell that Nikki changed for us and it turned a snake, a pig, and rabbit into men!
Quick: Sure, whatever.
Val: I think I know what Nikki meant by consequences.
Maxine: But it wasn't personal gain.
Johnny: Yes it was. Supposing what you told us was true. You cast a spell to find yourselves dates. That has personal gin written all over it.
Quick: Well, whatever happened, at least Nikki and her sisters were able to find you before it was too late.
Johnny: How did they know though?
Tasha: Kay probably asked for help.
Quick: I can see her asking Nikki, but why Nikki's sisters and not us?
Val: I don't know. Maybe Nikki's sisters were there when she asked?
Tasha: Just another mystery we aren't going to figure out unless Nikki decides to come clean about what's going on.