Adam grabbed a towel out of his bag and wiped the sweat from his
face. Ryanna sat on the bench beside him looking to the clock.
"I hate those boots," her told her. "Didn't you kick me in the
stomach with those?"
"Once," she told him touching the think black soles. Adam laughed and
looked to down his towel. "I hate this new rule. 'No changing of clothing
until the broadcast is over'. Does Eric realize how nasty it is to stay in
your own funk?"
"Obviously not," she sighed looking to the dirty, damp towel.
"Yeah well," he said tossing it back. "I guess we all have to live
with something we don't like."
"Guess so," Ryanna sighed.
"Oh, I didn't mean to sound-" Adam apologized.
"it's okay," she told him looking away.
Adam looked down to his hands and closed his eyes. The fantasies were
coming back to him. He tried to push them away, but the warmth of her body
next to him made them more of a reality, more obtainable. He shivered think
of what could happen and this time, he didn't think off his wife.
"Adam, are you okay?" Ryanna asked touching his back. She could feel
him shaking under her palm. Adam didn't realize how long he'd tuned out. He
opened his eyes to see that he had begun to sweat again. He turned quickly
to Ryanna and stared.
"I'm fine," he told her with a smile.
"Are you sure?" she asked concerned. Adam looked away.
"Ryanna I'm going to be honest okay?" he said gazing to the floor. "I
hate the fact that your with him. I really do. He doesn't deserve you the
way someone else would. Someone like me."
Ryanna removed her hand and gasped. "But Alannah-"
"I know, I know, and I love her but," he turned and put his hand into
hers. "ever since I met you, something.something changed in me and I don't
know what it is. I can't focus, I can't be honest to her and .I have these,
these dreams and I-I just can't hold it in anymore."
"Adam, it's nice to release your feelings but-"
"Ryanna," he hushed her. Adam touched her lips and leaned in tilting
his head. She backed away, but he leaned in more until his lips touched
hers. He pulled back and looked into her eyes, trying to see what she was
thinking. All he could tell was that she was trembling.
"I love you, Ryanna," he whispered still close enough to feel her
breathing. He herd her gasp and he kissed her again. Adam felt the pressure
as she kissed back, but as soon as it came it went away. Adam put his hand
on her thigh and she jerked away.
"Stop it," she pushed. Adam took his seat back on the bench and shook
his head.
"Tell me."
"Tell you what?"
"All I want is for you to tell me what you really feel."
"About what?"
"About me, about him, about anything! Just tell me! Do you love me"
She shook her head gingerly. "I love Jason."
"Do you?" he asked in more of a demand, than a question
"Why else would I still be with him?" Adam's jaw dropped and
understanding feel upon him. He touched her cheek and stroked it with his
fingers.
"I understand," he told her with a lifeless smile.
"Okay," she nodded. He wanted to kiss her again. He wanted to touch
her, and pet her, and love her like Jason never could.but he didn't. He
stood suddenly and went to the door. He left without saying a word and
Ryanna waited for Jason.
