No Matter What
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Balkov's POV
I can't look at you now without seeing you as you were then; an innocent with wide, blue-green eyes and a child's ready laugh, who tugged on my sleeve for attention at the most inopportune of times. You were a beautiful child - in the sexless, babyish way of children - so it shouldn't have surprised me that you grew up into such a beautiful young man. It did, though, and it still does. Even now, when I catch your eye, it sometimes startles me just how beautiful you are; graceful and self-assured, yet oddly fragile - still looking to me for acknowledgement and guidance.
It gives me a great sense of pride to see just how skilled you've become. Even though you're the product of technical research and intense training by others than me, I still feel I've had a hand in moulding you, that I've helped to shape you into the poised and confident blader you are today. After all, I've known you your whole life; and you've spent that life looking up to me, trying to impress me and win my approval.
I never show you how much your abilities have impressed me. I want to push you, to see how far you can go, how much you can achieve; and every time I think you've reached your limit, you surprise me again. Perhaps you've resented me sometimes, for feigning disinterest or disappointment at your latest triumph, but someday you'll understand that I do all this for you - to make you the very best you can be.
So much depends on you, Yuri. Your teammates rely on your leadership and strength; Biovolt depends on your unwavering commitment and determination to succeed. Oh, Voltaire raves about his grandson - the one that got away - and if he returns, the power of Black Dranzer will be his, as was intended. If he returns. I don't trust Voltaire, and I certainly won't trust Kai if he turns up. So, I'll rely on you too, to keep an eye on the Hiwatari brat and make sure the Demolition Boys remember to whom they owe their loyalty.
All this responsibility - such a heavy weight to lay on such young shoulders. But I know you relish this chance to prove your worth, to show that you can handle such a burden and further both my ambitions and your own. And though I'd never say the words to your face, I'm proud of you, for your strength and dedication. And I know you're loyal to me - not to Biovolt, but to me - and you'd do anything I asked you to, no matter what it cost you.
That loyalty, that fidelity, gives me great satisfaction - I look on you as my great achievement, with the pride inherent therein. But a part of me looks at you with different eyes; forgetting the child you were and seeing the man you're becoming - not a man yet, but growing into one so swiftly. And that part of me wants to possess you, to explore this new aspect of your being that's so obvious in the curve of your hip, the line of your jaw and the assured sensuality of your stance. You know you're beautiful, and you know that I look at you, and I think you like that - though I can tell it confuses you.
A part of you understands my desire and responds to it - flashing a wicked smile my way, or lowering your eyelids coquettishly when I reprimand you. Yes, that part of you understands all too well, and your need to please me spurs you to do whatever I might want. But another part of you is still little more than a child, uncomprehending of this alien concept; and that part makes you step awkwardly away at times, or flush unexpectedly at a simple word. And when I see this aspect of you, I realise how wrong it would be of me to take advantage of your eager, innocent sexuality.
But it gets more difficult, day by day, to ignore the urgings of my own libido, as well as my need to keep you by my side. You're like a part of me - the best part - but the changes in your adolescent form are causing a schism between the boy I understood and helped fashion, and the independent man you're soon to become. I don't want to let that rift grow, and so I try to draw you ever closer to me, in order to appreciate your altered state and retain my place in your existence.
You have to stay with me.
You can't stop needing me.
Because I need you.
You've been part of me for so long that I couldn't let go even if I tried, and I can't allow you to let go of me under any circumstances. You and I belong together, my beautiful Yuri, and I'll keep you by my side, whatever it takes.
You're mine - never forget that. As long as you remember that fact, and as long as you stay with me, you'll be safe, and you'll be happy. Whatever happens, just remember that you belong to me, my Yuri.
No matter what.