Music to my Soul
Chapter XI

Under Fredo's inquisitive stare, Phoebe felt trapped. She had tried to reaffirm her independence by going out alone for at least part of that evening, but as she was now faced with the consequences, she was made painfully aware of how dangerous it was to defy this man. "Fredo, I can explain," Phoebe uttered somewhat nervously, and then she stopped herself, as he gave no sign of softening.

"It was my fault," Cole said, while coming toward them with a very flippant attitude. "Sorry, Fredo… I just thought your girl needed a little distraction."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Fredo questioned angrily, ignoring Cole's comment.

"I just told you! I drove Miss Love around for a bit and I'm just bringing her back to you…"

Fredo cast a suspicious look at Phoebe but he soon returned his attention to Cole, who was staring straight at him without any apparent concern.
"If you want our association to work, Cole, you'll have to abide by my rules."

"Hey," Cole frowned. "I'm not a slave and besides, I had a personal matter to attend to earlier. What's important is I picked up your girl like I was supposed to…"

Phoebe turned to him with a hint of surprise, but she said nothing to him. Instead, she grabbed Fredo's arm.
"Look, I just needed a little time out of the house. Cole showed up at the Club and offered to drive me. I thought you wanted me to go and come back with him in the first place."

"You left the Club almost two hours ago, Lara," Fredo uttered reproachfully, although there was an obvious softening to his voice.

Phoebe decided to play on it for all it was worth.
"I'm so sorry I worried you."

Fredo looked from Cole to Phoebe with the same hesitant expression, and then he resolutely pursued, "you should've warned me. I'm doing this for your own good, Lara."

"I assure you, Miss Love wasn't in any danger," Cole added with assurance.

Fredo cast a somewhat darker look his way and only then seemed to notice Robbie.
"Hey! Robbie… Weren't you supposed to drive Lara back here after rehearsal?"

Robbie had seen Cole rushing ahead of him and he understood too late that the man was going to take advantage of his slow reflexes. By the time Robbie got there, it was obvious that anything he had to say wouldn't matter. He was hesitant to answer Fredo, worried as he was about the old man's reaction, when Cole surprised him.
"Oh Robbie was behind us all this time. He never stopped watching us and we felt very safe."

Robbie was so flabbergasted that he only nodded in the affirmative. Although he was relieved that Cole probably saved precious parts of his anatomy, Robbie couldn't help resenting the fact that he now owed something to the piano tuner.

"Is that true?" Fredo insisted.

"Yeah," Robbie trailed, barely looking at his boss. "Yeah I watched them," he added a little more firmly.

"Well, if you're satisfied… I'm a little tired," Phoebe interrupted. Without waiting for Fredo's answer, Phoebe stepped around him to enter the house. However before going in, she couldn't help one last glance at Cole. For the briefest instant, when their eyes met, Phoebe thought she saw relief and the same soft spark that had been there earlier. However, she had to cut it short as she hurried in, intent on pretending to be asleep by the time Fredo got to their bedroom.

Cole watched her disappear inside with a mixture of relief and disappointment. He knew it was better this way. Fredo seemed relatively satisfied that nothing wrong went on that night and Phoebe would be safe for the time being. After all, he still had a task to finish and it was essential that nothing major happened until he got what he came there for. In fact, it would be for her own good eventually. However, he was now more resolved than ever to get her out of there as soon as possible.

As she had turned back toward him, Cole thought he saw gratitude in her eyes, along with something more, but it had been so brief, he wondered if he only imagined it. Phoebe was still a mystery to him. Her avoidance of earlier had been well intentioned; at least, according to her. However, he wondered about it. He couldn't help worrying as well because at this point, Cole knew that the desire he had for her wasn't just that. In the car earlier, he had seen a side of Phoebe that was unexpected and it only deepened his need for her. Cole also understood that for the first time in years, he wanted the love of a woman…

"Don't ever do something like this again," Fredo uttered severely after Phoebe left.

Cole was pulled out of his thoughts by the stern comment.
"I assure you, I meant no harm…"

"Nevertheless…I wanna be informed of where Lara goes and what she does. She's a danger to herself."

For once, Cole agreed with Fredo's statement but he refrained from telling him that. The fact of the matter was that he thought Fredo represented the true danger to Phoebe.
"Am I free to go," he clowned instead.

"Just as long as we understand each other," Fredo replied curtly.

"She's your girl," Cole added in a cavalier fashion.
Then, he turned around and, after a nod to Robbie, accompanied by a mocking grin, he went toward his car. Cole had almost made it there when Fredo called to him.
"What happened to your car window?"

Cole jumped slightly, but he regained his countenance before turning to Fredo.
"Oh that… it's nothing… I broke it accidentally," Cole said then, as casually as he could.

"No one attacked you?" Fredo insisted.

"Nothing of the sort; don't worry," Cole replied sincerely before climbing into the car. A few pieces of the broken glass had fallen back toward the center of the seat, and Cole brushed them away self-consciously just before he started the engine. As much as he'd have wanted to stick around for Phoebe, Cole had no intention of incurring more of this inquisition tonight. Of course he realized that he was getting off easy. Maybe a little too easy, he added for himself with a hint of concern, as he drove away without another look toward Fredo.

Fredo turned a severe gaze toward Robbie after Cole's car disappeared around the corner.
"Is there any truth to what they said?" He questioned his man.

Robbie was still watching the road, not in any hurry to answer his boss. No matter how good a liar he was, Robbie feared that Fredo would see through him. Not to mention that it was killing him to play the piano tuner's game.

"Robbie," Fredo insisted louder.

"It's all like he said," Robbie finally replied grudgingly. "I'm sorry…I should've insisted on them coming back, but I promise you, she was never in any danger."

"Be sure she never is," Fredo added threateningly. "Your life may just depend on it."

Fredo said this as he turned his back to Robbie. The old man never saw the look of hatred Robbie gave him, although he knew about it without needing to see it, as he closed the door in Robbie's face. Forgetting about Robbie, Fredo cast a curious look toward the stairs as soon as he was in. He was perplexed by Lara's attitude. It wasn't so much whether she had lied that bothered him but her avoidance of the last two days did. While Phoebe believed Fredo unaware of this, he had actually seen through her right away.

"Did she come home," Saul called from Fredo's office door. The disdain in his lieutenant's voice was palpable.

"Why ask what you already know?" Fredo answered while turning his stare toward Saul.
"However, I do believe that you should check up further on this Turner…"

Saul couldn't help a little smile from spreading over his lips. He had been trying to open Fredo's eyes about Cole while the old man was worried and vulnerable. Seemed that Turner had helped Saul's purpose…
"Of course…" He simply answered as he watched his boss starting toward the stairs somewhat warily. Saul added for himself, "and then all I'll have left to do is getting rid of Lara…"

Phoebe undressed quickly, forfeiting the ritual of removing her make up that night. She couldn't even stand the idea of another talk with Fredo, let alone sex, was he to get in the mood.

As soon as her head hit the pillow, she forgot about the old man and remembered the evening moment by moment. It was strange how each detail seemed to matter so much all of a sudden. The little smiles Cole gave her as she talked with him. The way he was looking upon her covetously throughout the time they were in the bar and yet, he didn't do anything about it until she offered. By moments, Phoebe had felt more wanted than ever before in her life and that sensation alone had been almost intoxicating. Yet, for most of that time, a sense of peace had been even more prominent inside of her; as if being with him was where she belonged. "How could this be," Phoebe questioned herself silently. Without finding the answer, her mind lingered on their interlude in the car, where his touch alone had captured her completely. For that brief instant, Phoebe had known for sure that it was the right thing. Then, as Cole had let go, the fear had returned; the fear of everything it meant to belong to a man. Was that the reason for her anger? Or simply that in truth she was mad at him for not insisting, for not stealing away what she couldn't give on her own?

Fredo entered the room then and Phoebe tensed. However, the old man didn't insist as he came to bed and simply deposited a light kiss on her forehead before turning his back to her. Phoebe couldn't be certain that she fooled him but she was grateful he didn't insist. Increasingly, she couldn't bear the thought of giving herself to Fredo, and, as she thought more about it, to any other man. This alone disturbed her greatly, even as she wondered what Cole might be thinking at this very moment.

Cole had turned the car into an alley less than five hundred feet from the Turello's house.

Shortly after, he saw another car roaring by and he supposed it must have been Robbie or another of Fredo's men coming after him. However, as disturbing as the thought was, Cole didn't believe there was more to it than a latent jealousy on Fredo's part. Still, it told him that he would have to be careful around the old man from now on. Cole's only problem now was to figure how he would hide his feelings. These were flooding in him like a torrent. Fear mixed with deep joy; tenderness tainted by desire. However in spite of the intensity of the aforementioned feelings, he couldn't forget the remorse, which was now returning fully. How could he ever hope to be loved after what he had done? Granted, Phoebe wasn't above reproach. Nevertheless, Cole still believed that her faults paled in comparison to his own. Then there was her attitude, which also brought painful doubts to him. It was so obvious how much she mistrusted men in general. This, Cole had understood instinctively from the start, although he had neglected to contemplate the implication at the time. It had been made abundantly clearer during their evening together. In spite of the pleasantness, he had felt Phoebe's reticence all along and even during their moment of abandon, something was holding her back. Cole even reflected that it was this more than any reasonable urge which had stopped him from going any further with her.

Cole could hardly reproach this to her however; particularly considering his own attitude towards women during the last twelve years. He exemplified everything that a woman should distrust in a man. None the less, Cole now wished intensely that he could be deserving of her trust. "If that's even possible," he thought bitterly. The images of Rita and her dead husband came back to him painfully, and were only chased away after a moment, when the memory of Phoebe's kiss managed to stir him again. His musings went on like this for a while, from the pure ecstasy of this memory to the despair of his intense remorse, with him being torn between simply going home or turning back and taking Phoebe away from the monster she lived with. In the end, he managed to convince himself that she would be ok, although with great efforts, and he started the car again.

As he pulled out on the road, Cole found that he had no urge to go home just yet. Instead, he headed for a place he never thought he'd want to see again. Soon, he was looking at the opulent house where the orphanage had been. Cole had not returned to this place since the day they brought him to the hospital. In spite of the bitterness that always accompanied this memory, right then it was nostalgia that prevailed in his heart and mind. Slowly, he turned toward the other side of the street, looking up at the window where the girl had been. Nothing seemed to have changed at all, although both residences were somewhat worse for wear. He knew from Paul that the orphanage had gone bankrupt less than a year ago. When Paul had mentioned it to Cole, he had insisted on one particular part of it. It pertained to the piano which had been the very same one on which Cole had played then. It seemed that an anonymous buyer had come forward as soon as the bankruptcy was announced, and made a substantial offer for the instrument. No one knew who bought it, but at the time, Cole had cared very little for the anecdote. Now sitting in his car between the two imposing houses, he vaguely wondered about it. He also thought of the girl and of the fact that he had no idea what had become of her or her family. Up until this moment, he had not cared to know at all. Cole never intended to take his revenge directly on the singing girl. In fact, he had soon convinced himself that all women were like her and not one deserved his affection or trust. Another pang of remorse shook him as he again reflected on how much he wanted to be worthy of trust right then. How ironically sad it was that what woke him up from this awful nightmare was exactly what would keep him from deserving forgiveness.

In spite of this revelation however, Cole still had a lingering doubt about the girl herself. Why had she done this? Why hadn't she cared at all? Even if Cole knew that wallowing in self-pity wouldn't do him any good, at this point it was somewhat of a relief to put the fault on someone else, even if for only a brief instant. Chasing this away quickly however, he finally resolved to go home, no more certain of what would become of him now, but a little more aware of his own feelings for the first time in twelve years.

The next morning, as Cole came out of his apartment building, he was mildly surprised to see Paul coming toward him. His friend must have planned to check up on him and Cole couldn't blame him. The night before he was a mess and even this morning he wasn't much better, as he had barely slept at all. He cast a quick glance down the street and recognized the same suspicious car he had noticed there when he got home. Cole wouldn't have cared so much, as he had expected it, but the fact that they would see him with Paul disturbed him.
"You shouldn't be here," Cole said too curtly in guise of greeting to Paul. This one gave him a peeved glare.

"Hey, can't a friend care about you? I was worried…"

"Sorry," Cole uttered somewhat nervously as he glanced to the parked car again. "I just don't want you to get into trouble."

"Trouble??" Paul questioned in surprise. "What kind of trouble could come from me visiting…?" Paul stopped as he noticed the applied stare Cole was giving to a car down the street. "Are you being watched?" He asked anxiously.

"It's not what you think... I simply believe that Fredo might be a little suspicious of me and his girl… Maybe he wants to know more about me now."

"What changed," Paul questioned curiously.

"Nothing much…" Cole answered vaguely. "Why don't we talk about it over coffees?"

Paul frowned, unable to imagine what could have happened since the last time he saw Cole. At the time, it was obvious nobody was following him. What's more, and in spite of Cole's reassurances, Paul couldn't help worrying about this new development. On the other hand, Cole seemed willing to share this time and he wasn't about to stop him from doing just that.
"Alright…" he simply answered and Cole led him toward a nearby Café.

Just before entering the establishment, Cole noticed a man coming out of the car and he recognized him as Robbie. Inwardly he thought that this boy was becoming a serious annoyance as he let Paul go ahead and then soon followed him inside.

As soon as they had ordered their coffee with croissants, Paul began questioning Cole.
"First off, how are you this morning," He asked very seriously.

"If you're wondering whether you should take my gun away and remove all dangerous objects from my apartment, don't," Cole said, half-amused. "I'm not suicidal…"

"Well, see that's my problem," Paul continued, barely mollified. "I don't believe you'll kill yourself; I believe you'll make sure someone else does it for you."

"Contrary to your very dark opinion, I don't have a death wish, Paul. When are you gonna stop with that?"

"Oh I don't know; when you stop running after trouble?" Paul quipped. Cole was obviously slightly better than the night before, but he could still recognize melancholy behind the calm façade.

"I'll be around for many years, bugging you till you don't wanna hear from me again…"

"Lucky for you, I'm a faithful friend… And a masochist to boot…"
Cole shook his head with a little smile while Paul couldn't help cracking up at his own wit.
"Alright," Paul continued, "I won't insist on the death wish thing, but I'd like to know what the deal is with you being followed…"

"That mostly has to do with the impression I left on Fredo last night."

"Last night?"

"Well," Cole began with a corner smile that was unusually timid on his part, "after you left last night, I met with Phoe…Lara."

"What?" Paul asked with a grimace of perplexity. "How did that happen?'

"I can't tell you…coincidence I guess? Anyway, we got to talk for a while, and when I finally brought her home, Fredo was waiting for us…he didn't look too happy."

"You just talked? With a woman?" Paul uttered incredulously.

"Yeah," Cole replied with false outrage. "I'm not an idiot you know? I can talk to women too…"

"My point is you never cared to."

"Maybe I was missing out on something," Cole trailed while looking away.

"Oh my," Paul exclaimed.

"What's that supposed to mean," Cole questioned quite uselessly. He knew exactly what his friend had meant. This revelation had become clearer to him through his long and almost sleepless night.

"You're in love head over heels! I thought it was just some kind of infatuation until now…That's the only explanation for your attitude of late…"

"Go ahead, laugh all you want," Cole replied dejectedly as he looked back at this friend.

"I still believe that she's not exactly what I hoped for you…"

"I don't think you'll have to worry about that, Paul," Cole continued with a defeated expression that was even less typical than the timidity of earlier. "I don't believe anything is gonna come of it…"

"If you're right about Fredo's motivation to have you followed, I wouldn't be so sure…"

"Hum," Cole grumbled while casting another look at the front of the Café, "it might not be Fredo actually. I've got a feeling that it could be more personal now that I think about it."

"How so?"

"That boy out there was following us last night."

"Boy? Us?"

"Robbie, one of Fredo's men, and he was following Lara and me."

"What? You think he's jealous? Then I'm worried again. The guy's a gangster with a gun. What if he takes it upon himself to get rid of you?"

"I don't believe he would risk it. At least, not without Fredo's approval..."

"And what makes you so sure Fredo doesn't approve?"

"For one, he didn't try to kill me yet…"

"How reassuring," Paul sighed unhappily.

"Come on, Paul. I may be a bit of a hot head, but I told you, I'm not stupid and I don't want to die."

Paul stared at him with stupefaction and Cole finally felt compelled to question him about it.

"Hey cat got your tongue?"

"Who are you, and what have you done with the son of a bitch who never admitted to anything I said to him?"

"Don't get your hopes up, Paul… Once I managed to sleep I'm sure I'll be back to my old self in no time."

"No hurry," Paul simply answered with a half-smile. "So…what are you gonna do about that Robbie?"

"Nothing... I'm gonna let him follow me for now."

Paul's smile vanished as he cast a worried glance of his own toward the entrance.

"Be careful," he added very seriously.

*****

Phoebe woke up and right away she noticed that Fredo had left. That was unusual enough for her to wonder about it. However, she heard a few muffled voices coming from downstairs and supposed that he had some business to attend. It didn't keep her from worrying, but with the kind of dreams she had been having, Fredo was the last person she wanted to see right then. Phoebe was troubled by her dreams, which had been people by intense sensual visions, all about Cole, but much more than this, all of them ending violently interrupted by Fredo. Phoebe wondered what it all meant, but it only confused her more to try making sense of it. Even as she called the housekeeper to draw her bath, the vivid memories of an intense sex dream was still stirring her in spite of all the ugliness that accompanied it. "What is it about that man," Phoebe reflected uneasily. She still refused to believe that she could have fallen for him. That was quite impossible. What's more, she believed that the bad parts of her dreams might have been a warning to herself. Yet, no matter how hard she tried to relax and put Cole out of her mind, the thoughts of him returned, just as powerful. In the end, Phoebe concluded that there was only one way to end this longing. After dressing, she went back to her room and grabbed the hot mug of coffee Maria had left for her. Then, with only a slight hesitation, she picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hotel Riviera, what can I do for you," a male voice answered after the first ring.

*****

"I'm telling you, Fredo, I had nothing to do with this mess," the police officer that led the raid was telling the old man nervously. Behind him, Saul was standing very still, and to the policeman's opinion, threateningly. He had known right away that the failed bust would anger Fredo. It wasn't enough that the men who shot at him were dead.

"How else could Ricardo have known about your raid, unless you or one of your men warned him, Samuel?"

"I can't vouch for everyone at the station," Samuel pleaded anxiously, "but I wouldn't betray you. You've been too generous to me."

"Unless Ricardo was more generous…?"

Samuel was tempted to step back, but he could feel Saul behind his back.
"I swear to you. I have no idea what happened. Those men are dead though…" he tried.

"No thanks to you." Fredo replied coldly.

"Did you…?" Samuel questioned and stopped himself, fearing he'd already said too much.

"This is none of your business," Saul replied from behind him, provoking renewed fear in Samuel.

"I swear, Fredo. I didn't betray you, but I'll find out who did…"

"Why don't you do that?" Fredo offered derisively.

Something in Fredo's voice had Samuel fearing that this mistake could have been his last. He had not dared showing up until now, but Saul's summon was one he knew would be unhealthy to refuse. This was one of those times where he regretted having agreed to work for those gangsters. True, the pay was good; much better than what the city offered. In addition, faced with occasional unsavoury events, he rationalized that the violence was necessary to keep a balance in the city. He also remembered that in the beginning, he had justified his actions by thinking that the prohibition law was an aberration anyway. However, as time went by and he got deeper into the mobster's world, Samuel couldn't help the doubts from creeping their way inside of him. Particularly when his own safety was at risk…
"I will…" He assured Fredo. He stood as straight and confident as he could while Fredo stared at him with his cold eyes and Samuel worried that he might notice the trembling of his hands. This staring match was interrupted by a knock on the door, as Fredo looked in that direction to Samuel's temporary relief.

Cole could still hear his friend's warning echoing in his mind as he headed toward the front door of the Turello's Mansion. However, if he knew that Paul was right about the need for caution, he couldn't help his impatience at seeing Phoebe again. He was so intent on that thought alone that he didn't realize the danger as Maria led him inside. That is until, after finding no sign of Phoebe, he noticed the policeman watching him intensely.
"I've seen you before," Samuel uttered unpleasantly.

At this point, Robbie entered the house without waiting to be let in and he immediately added a question of his own.
"What were you doing with that snooping journalist?"

Cole glanced from Robbie to the policeman uncertainly, and then he met Fredo's cold stare. He knew then that his small problem of the previous evening must have grown exponentially all of a sudden.