Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Okay. I'm updating at a quarter to twelve on Friday night. Though it may come out as Saturday morning. I was planning to drag this on a little longer, but tonight I've been all inspired and I've written the last five chapters so I'm going to post them all. Now I may be being optimistic here but if you're feeling charitable and you enjoyed the story, (or even if you didn't), please just review, I don't mind short ones. Let me know what you thought. Thank you to everyone out there who has reviewed you are the best.

Buffy pushed back against Riley's arm and sent him flying hard to the floor. Before he even moved she ran her hand over Spike's chest, "Are you okay?"

Spike grimaced in pain and rolled his shoulder backwards, "I'll unlive pet."

Buffy turned to or rather turned on Riley. "What the hell is going on?"

Riley stumbled to his feet. He was embarrassed that his tiny girlfriend, although he didn't know if she wanted that title anymore, could send him sprawling on his ass with one hand, "I was dealing with a demon."

Buffy's eyes flashed, "So this is how you deal with demons? Cause I thought you got naked and let them bite you while you got off on it. Was I wrong? Is it only demons that CAN'T hurt people that you kill? Is that it?"

Riley flushed red, "Spike's still a demon."

"Maybe so. But I'm the Slayer Riley not you. If anyone stakes Spike it won't be you."

Riley glared hard at her, "Why do you care?"

"Don't start on this. I think that we need to talk. Privately somewhere."

Spike felt his heart being squeezed. If he had laid one finger on anyone, Buffy would have killed him, but because it was Riley, all she wanted to do was 'talk'. Spike was angry. It hurt. Even now, she wouldn't tell him the truth, she wouldn't confess that she cared for him and that's why she had stopped Riley from staking him. She just didn't get it. Did she see how much it hurt him that she was ashamed of caring for him, or maybe that was it? Maybe she didn't give a damn. "Slayer, can we talk for a second . . . in private."

Buffy looked at him puzzled but she nodded, "Okay."

Riley stepped forward, "I will not leave you here alone with that thing."

Buffy glared at him again, "At the moment you have no say in what I do or don't do. I'm not in any danger here. Now I will meet you at the Magic Box. I have to go and check up on my mom and Dawn, she's with Willow and Tara. I'll see if she wants to stay over and then meet you at the shop at six." Riley looked ready to speak again in protest, "Don't push it Riley. Just. Don't. Push. It."

Riley turned and walked out.

Buffy turned back to Spike as soon as the door was closed and ran her hand over the wound on his chest again, "Oh God. Are you sure that you're all right? That was way too close for comfort."

Spike pulled away from her touch. He needed to try to think clearly, about what he was going to say to her, her touching him did not help with that. "Buffy, this can't go on."

Buffy smiled, "I know. Don't worry I'll make sure that he doesn't come round again. I'll make sure, I promise."

Spike sighed, "No. I mean this," Spike pointed to her and then to him, "This. This can't go on."

"I don't understand."

"Buffy . . ." Spike was trying to think of how to phrase this so that it didn't sound too bad. "Buffy I love you. I know what I said. That I'd be okay and that we could do this. But, well, I was wrong pet. It hurts every time that you walk out of here and I know that I have no right to stop you because I told you that it was okay for you to do it. But know it's not."

Buffy could feel her eyes filling up with tears, "So . . .what? This is it? We're over. You don't want to be with me anymore."

Spike moved forward, "No Slayer. That is not what I'm saying. I want to be with you more than anything. I love you more than you can possible imagine. But I'm saying that I won't play second fiddle to soldier boy anymore."

"So you're saying that . . .you're telling me to choose between the two of you?"

Spike nodded, "I don't mean to do this to you. I know that it isn't fair, but I won't keep feeling like this, like you're ashamed of me. You're happy as long as I'm in the background and out of sight but I won't do it anymore. If I'm going to be with you, it has to be for real. You have to have me in your life all the time not just when it suits. You want me when you need me and I want to be there for you, but I want the rest too. I want the fighting and the shagging and the living and just well . . . everything. I wont do anything if you choose him, I'll just . . . go"

Buffy just stared, she knew that she had been being unfair to him, but she didn't want to do this. What was she supposed to do? Choose Riley and never know if it could be anything with Spike? Or choose Spike and loose the only thing in her life tat made her like a normal girl? She was about to speak but Spike cut her off, "Don't. Not yet. Go and speak to your boy. Tell me when you decide."

Spike stood and watched her walk out of the crypt. For the first time in a very long time he prayed to whoever was listening for her to choose him.

Buffy did go and check on her mom and on her sister. Then she just walked. What had been hurt had quickly changed into anger. He just didn't get it. Did he think that she would spend any time with him at all if she didn't care about him? Why would she be with . . .spending any time with him if she didn't care, it should be obvious to anyone that she had feelings for him even if she wasn't sure exactly what those feelings were. Now he was giving her an ultimatum, 'decide or we call it quits.' She just couldn't believe the unfairness of it all.

It was a quarter to eight when she finally got to the Magic Box. She walked through the door to see Anya and Xander talking at the counter. "Hey guys."

Xander turned and smiled a little, "Hey Buff. You okay?"

Buffy nodded, "Is he in there?"

"Yeah. Need to talk?"

Buffy smiled back at her friend, he knew her well, "Maybe later. First I need to talk to him."

Xander moved forward and squeezed her shoulder, "We'll get out of your way."

Buffy squeezed his hand. "Thanks."

Buffy heard her friends leave and slipped into the training room, "I'm sorry I'm late I was . . . well I was walking."

Riley stood, "We need to talk about this. We need to have this out."

Buffy folded her arms, "So were do we start, how about, how long have you been putting your life in danger to get yourself a happy with the undead?"

Riley flushed, "How about . . . could you just please hear me out?"

"Fine."

Riley paced for a few seconds, "I think that when this whole thing started it was just some stupid immature game. I wanted to event eh score after you let Dracula bite you."

Buffy turned on him, "For the love of God Riley how many times do we have to go thought this, I did not LET Dracula . . ."

Riley cut her off holding up his hands, "I know. On some level, I know that. But I was still spun. You know. I wanted to know what it was that you felt. I wanted to know why it is that Dracula and Angel have so much power over you."

Buffy felt a strong urge to hit him in the face, "You so don't get it do you?"

"I wanted to get it Buffy. I wanted to get you."

Buffy knew at that moment with sickening clarity that it was true; he didn't get it. He didn't get her, "So what? You thought that by going out and almost getting yourself killed you'd be able to understand me better. Is that it?"

"Buffy, I feel like hell for what I've put you through. But these girls. They made me feel something Buffy. Something that I didn't even know that I was missing until I first felt that bite."

Buffy shook her head. "Why is it that you feel such an intense need to explain this to me? Why do you need to tell me why you've been nearly getting yourself killed by the things that I am chosen to destroy? Is it that they give you something I can't, well until I grow an extra set of teeth I can't give you that."

"It wasn't the actual bite that did it. It was that they needed me."

Buffy fought the urge to laugh, "They needed your money, and do you really think that it was about you?"

"NO. On some basic level, it was about me. My blood, my body. When they bit me it was, beyond passion."

Buffy knew that at this moment her heart should be breaking, she should feel abandoned and betrayed. She didn't know why, but she knew that although she was hurting her heart wasn't broken, "Riley, I don't know why you are telling me this?"

Riley closed his eyes, "I know that what I had with them wasn't real it was just something physical. But I craved it; I kept going back. They made me feel like they needed me."

Buffy spoke and what she said was meant to come out as a question but as she said it, she knew that it was simply a fact, "And I don't make you feel that way. It's just that I don't know what else it is that you want from me Riley. I have tried. I have given you everything that I have and it doesn't seem to be enough for you."

"You say that but I don't feel it I just don't feel it. You don't need me no matter what you say. You never just let me take care of things. You need to be on top of everything all the time. You never let me take care of you. You never really lean on me."

They were back to this then. His issues over her being stronger than him, he'd never been very good at handling it. "Then we have a problem." Riley was crying, but she wasn't, she was numb.

"They want me back Buffy. The military want me back. Some deep undercover stuff. No contact with civilians. Transports going tonight from the park."

Buffy looked at him, what was he saying. "When were you going to tell me about this?"

"I'm telling you now. If you want me to stay, tell me now. If you love me and want me to stay, please just tell me now."

Buffy's mouth dropped open, "You're, you are giving me an ultimatum?"

"No I'm not . . ."

"Yes you are, you expect me to get over it now or you're gone."

"I just need. . . I need you to give me a reason to stay."

Buffy looked at him for a second. She couldn't deal with this. She turned and walked away.

Riley listened to the bell jingle as the door shut. His knees gave way and he collapsed onto the floor. She left. Why didn't she ask him to stay, why didn't she beg him to if necessary? Why couldn't he be enough? She had barely seemed to care.

Buffy just walked. Her head was spinning. In one night both of the man in her life had told her that they wanted her, and that if she couldn't deliver they were going to leave. Now she just didn't know what to do. She hated the idea of 'choosing'. How did she choose? She didn't even know how to think let alone what to feel. It just made her body hurt all over.

Spike. She could lean on him. She could lean on him and he would be there to hold her up if she fell. But Riley would be there too, so what was the difference. Well she felt like she could with Spike, he was there without making her feel weak. He helped to keep her on her feet. But Riley was the normal person that she had craved for years. If she let him go she might never get another chance and he was the kind of guy that she had fought for most of her life, trying to have a life not dominated by Slaying.

As Buffy walked, she became aware of them. The vampires surrounding her. She stopped and looked around her. One of them spoke, "You killing two of my best was a bad idea Slayer."

Buffy recognised one of the vamps from the night before, "It felt pretty good to me."

"I'm not running and you're not shutting me down." Buffy saw four more vamps melt out of the shadows, "In fact. You're not going to last the night"