Ahh, Squibs. Hello, my imaginary fans.

I wrote this story last summer and posted the whole thing in July 2002 but it got no love. I figured that long-ass stories scare people away - they're just browsin' around for a good, quick read.

Well, I guess it's just because I suck that this story is not getting read, or because, as IT'saconspiracy said, some secret clique controls who gets kudos and who does not.

Whatever it may be, I continue to post.

You may question me brains, and whether I have a life or not, but NEVER question my Tolkien fandom.

Con todo mi amor, Ganya

Chapter (Argh, I'm running out of languages!) Sei

The next month passed without great incident. On Halloween there were some festivities but nothing grand. The schedules were slightly changed - since Dumbledore did not expect to find a defense against the dark arts teacher anytime soon, all the classes were lengthened by some 10 to 20 minutes in order to take up the extra time after lunch.

There was a trip to Hogsmeade scheduled for November the 24th, that had everyone excited. We now join our hero and his confidant, Monsieur Weasley, goofing around at the back of the room during Transfiguration class. ( Harry, along with a few others who were at his level, had failed the first quarter and were put into the remedial class.)

The two friends were making a roach sing and dance until Professor McGonagall noticed.

"If either of you make one more move I disapprove of you'll be serving very cruel detentions," she said. "Now, as I was saying, last week we all successfully transfigured Nearly Headless Nick and the Fat Friar into panda bears and back. I was very, very proud of you all.

Turning such an entity as a ghost into something like a panda is very hard work. Such work is good practice for those of you who wish to become Animagi someday. But what we're preparing for now is surprisingly easier: We will be transfiguring each other." Professor McGonagall said.

Malfoy raised his hand.

"Professor...how can transfiguring each other be easier than becoming an Animagi?" he asked, sincerely concerned.

"It sounds hard to believe but once we do it you will see. For one thing, when one is turning into an Animagi, one may get very nervous and worry about how one might...ehem...mess oneself up. But when one is transfiguring another person, one is less worried about mistakes, and when one is not worrying about mistakes, one makes less mistakes. It's true!" she said, smiling.

"I dunno...That's a lot o' 'ones'." Malfoy said.

"Cool," Ron said to himself. He then raised his hand. "Professor when are we gonna start?" he asked excitedly.

"Today. I believe you are prepared well enough. The students in the more advanced classes have been transfiguring each other since the second week of school.

They are now learning to transfigure themselves into plants. Ofcourse, even for them such work is very carefully supervised. In all my years no student has made a mistake which I myself have not been able to fix.

So if anyone is scared, you needn't be. Very well, enough talk. Let's warm up on our book-bags for five minutes or so and then we shall begin," she finished.

Harry confidently transfigured his book-bag, first into a bookshelf, then into a pint of butterbeer and lastly into a Cleansweep Seven and back into a book-bag.

Ron was rapidly turning his bag from a pack of dung-bombs to a Chudley Cannons poster over and over again. After six or seven minutes Professor McGonagall told everyone to stop what they were doing.

"Alright, class. I want two very confident volunteers to come to the front," she said. Several hands shot up, but Ron's was waving most enthusiastically.

"Well, Mr.Weasley. I'm happy to see you eager to work. Yes, you and Potter will make fine examples. Come now," The two friends stood infront of the class.

"Now then...these two accomplished scholars (scattered giggling) will transfigure each other into a pair of shoes. Boys, I remind you that you need not worry. The procedure is not too difficult. Firstly you must be at least ten inches apart and face each other.

Do as you would if you were transfiguring any other object into a shoe but do it in synchronicity with your partner and focus just a bit more. It's easier if you both focus on the same type of shoe. DO NOT purposely make mistakes. Now...begin," she finished.

Harry and Ron smiled at each other while the class stared at them in anticipation. The two friends raised their wands on the count of three and then shouted "Sutorus" also on three.

In a matter of seconds the two friends became a pair of gray boots. The class applauded and Professor McGonagall beamed with pride.

"I know what you all must be thinking, 'How will they return themselves to normal?' boots as they are, they each have brains. Whatever object one turns oneself into, one's brain will remain intact. Potter, Weasley, you've both done an excellent job. To return to normal all you have to do is think priori sutorus to yourselves. That's priori, your common reversal command," Professor McGonagall said as Ron and Harry returned to normal. The class once again broke into applause.

"As I was saying, your common reversal command is just saying priori and whatever spell you've performed. Now, my two scholars, tell your classmates how simple that was," she finished.

"It was so easy I'm surprised you waited so long to teach it to us, Professor," Ron said.

"Yeah and it was actually fun," Harry said.

"See? Alright, I want each of you to find a partner you are confident with and begin transfiguring each other into things that come in pairs. I won't let you kill eachother so I say once more, do not worry," Professor McGonagall said. Naturally Ron and Harry paired themselves up.

"Oi, Malfoy, let's begin," Crabbe said.

"Ugh! What makes you think I'd want an idiot like you transfiguring me?" Malfoy replied.

"I'll be your partner," Pansy Parkinson said.

"Umm...I'm not too sure," Malfoy said. Ten minutes passed and he remained partnerless.

"Professor McGonagall, nobody wants to be my partner!" Neville Longbottom half-whined.

"Who else is without a partner?" she asked. Malfoy remained silent and tried to slip under his desk.

"Mr. Malfoy, I haven't seen you transfigure. Let Mr. Longbottom here be your partner."

"Oh, no, Professor! I don't feel confident about having that...having Neville as my partner," Malfoy replied.

"Well it seems you weren't confident in anyone, Mr. Malfoy. I must have said you need not be worried at least ten times. Are you doubting my skills in transfiguration?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"Umm...it's not that, Professor...it's..."

"Come, come, now, Mr. Malfoy. Professor Snape is constantly testing out all sorts of strange potions on you and you never have problems swallowing those...disgusting...Anyway let Neville be your partner or we'll be forced to believe you're a coward," she said.

Malfoy reluctantly placed himself ten inches from Neville.

"Now, let's make it nice and simple...you should turn each other into a nice, fluffy pair of socks," she said.

"If you mess up, Longbottom..." Malfoy glared.

"Mr. Malfoy, by threatening Longbottom you'll only make him nervous and increase his chances of making a mistake," Professor McGonagall interrupted.

The two raised their wands at the same time. "Tibialetus!" Malfoy shouted while Neville shouted "Tibicenetus!"

Neville turned into a nice, fluffy, white, sock, while Malfoy was trying to scream with pain as he transformed. Apparently Neville had been picturing a fluffy, white, sock as he shouted the command for "Become a flute." Malfoy's head became a sort of ball of fluffy fabric with a silver flute growing out of where his mouth should have been.

One of his arms remained as it was and the other one was composed of the fluffy fabric up to his elbow. The rest of it was a flute attached to his half-cotton-half-tin body.

"Oh my," Professor McGonagall said quietly, yet perceptibly worried. "Neville! Neville, can you hear me? The command for become a sock is tibialetus! Return to normal!" she shouted. Neville returned to his usual self, looking quite worried.

"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE...no, no Minerva, you mustn't lose it," Professor McGonagall said to herself, calming down. "Didn't they teach you Latin in grammar school, Longbottom? How are we supposed to return this boy to normal? There's no command for "Become a sock-flute" for me to use in order to reverse the spell! Oh, Lord, help me!" she lost it again.

"You know, Longbottom, the only thing you've done correctly this year was turn the Fat Friar into a panda and that took you long enough! Dumbledore wasted his time convincing the teachers to let you a stay when you'd failed your tenth subject back in the third year! You'd better begin your apprenticeship as a janitor now, because as far as I'm concerned, you, sir, are a grade-A squib!"

The class gasped.

"Don't know what they're surprised for," Ron whispered to Harry. Neville's eyes swelled up with tears and he ran out the room.

"Who needs Malfoy, anyway, though? I really do prefer Neville's sock-flute-whatever," Harry said quietly.

Malfoy was rushed to the hospital wing. Dumbledore did not contact his parents because more bad than good would come out of that. Neville's grandmother was furious and ashamed when she heard the news. She refused to have Neville return to her home but begged Professor Dumbledore to accept him as apprentice-janitor.

"If that's what it's come to, I'd rather he work for you than anyone else, Professor," she said.

Nobody saw Neville for a while. Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall were curing Malfoy when Lothlorien entered the hospital wing. She told Professor McGonagall that she had heard the news just as he was returned to normal. He woke immediately.

"What am I doing in the hospital wing?" He asked quickly.

"You were knocked out, Mr. Malfoy. As you were walking down the third-floor hallway a seventh year abruptly opened a door and you crashed right into it," Professor McGonagall lied, convincingly.

Malfoy frowned and rubbed his head. A piece of cotton fell from his sleeve but he did not notice it. He and Lothlorien then went to the Great Hall for dinner together The other students who had witnessed the incident were warned by Professor Dumbledore not to speak of it.

When he saw Malfoy enter the hall looking perfectly alright, Ron swore rather loudly.

"Ron! That's absolutely horrible!" Hermione scolded. "Even if it is Malfoy!" she finished.

"No, he's exempt," Harry said coldly as he saw Malfoy accompanied by Lothlorien.

As Lothlorien began to head toward the Gryffindor table, Professor Snape approached her.

"Ms. Gamgee? Just a word," he said, as he walked up to her. "Your essay on the endless possibilities in potions was very insightful. Some of the ideas you presented have got me thinking though..." he trailed off.

"I was disgusted with the last edition of the O.W.L review book, and I was working on putting together my own version...maybe there would be less failures in Potions exams. Anyhow I'd like to include some of what you said," Professor Snape said.

"Really, Sir? Well, why don't we work on it together? I have notebooks full of potions information from rare books that..."

"Very well then. I'd like as much information as I can get," he said with a hint of impatience in his voice.

"Excellent. When shall we start?" Lothlorien asked.

"Come to my office after dinner on Friday. I'll have had all my grading done by then.." Snape said.

Lothlorien bade him good evening and sat down to dinner.

* * *