Hullo. This is chapter kyu.

Katie Wisdom, thank you! I needed a reason to keep posting! =)

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The day of the trip to Hogsmeade had finally arrived. Everyone was excited because there was going to be a dragon exhibition. None other than Norbert the Norwegian-Ridgeback, whom Hagrid had won in a card game during Harry's first year, was the main feature.

Apparently due to his unique upbringing, Norbert was not hostile towards humans and there were to be "Dragon Back Rides" courtesy of him, seven sickles a go. Hagrid was nearly bursting with joy, telling everyone he was Norbert's "Mommy."

By the time the three friends had finished making their usual rounds at the stores, it was dark. Harry and Hermione decided to pay Norbert a visit. Ron didn't want to go, as the last time he'd seen the dragon, it'd taken a nasty bite at his hand that landed him in the hospital wing for some time.

"Are you sure you don't want to come, Ron?" Harry asked.

"Damn straight. I think I'll just have m'self a pint of butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. You guys just come back in one piece." Ron replied. The friends said their good-byes and headed in opposite directions.

"Oi, Ron!" Lothlorien called as Ron entered the Three Broomsticks. She was sitting at a tiny table in the corner nearest the pantry by herself.

"Hey there." Ron replied. He ordered a butterbeer at the bar and then joined Lothlorien.

"What's poppin'? Why you here by yourtelf?" Ron asked in a half teasing manner.

"Why are you here by yourtelf? Where're the other two Musketeers?" Lothlorien asked.

"Hmph! They're off to mess wit' some schizophrenic dragon...Not my forte." Ron said quietly. Lothlorien smiled.

"This stuff is good." she said after she sipped her butterbeer.

"Ah, I know! One time I drank a whole tankard in a day. I was so hyper, m' mum kicked me outta the house and told me to run it off. Whatcha been up to?" he asked.

"Nothing much. Checked out the local stores. Read a bit in that Flourish and Blotts...have you got a brother named Charlie?" Lothlorien asked.

"Yeah. What'dcha see his book, "Dragons At Dawn"?" Ron asked.

"Yeah. Then I went to the apothecary, the sweetshop, the antique shop and the wand shop. I like this little town. It's nice." she said merrily.

"So...what's with you and Hermione?" she asked with a sly looking smile.

"Nothing! I knew you knew about that since that day in Divination! Never did get to ask you about it. Actually - I been looking for some - ehem - female insight to my situation. You wanna help me out here?" Ron asked.

"Sure!" Lothlorien laughed.

"So, what's your deal? You got some 'cool tonic' or somethin'? I s'pose it'd take a miracle to get anyone to like a dweeby lookin' git like me." Ron said.

"See now there's your first problem, Ron! Why would you say something like that? You ought to have more confidence in yourself. And for your information, you're not dweeby looking. I think you're very cute,"

Ron blushed.

"But you're still a git." Lothlorien laughed. "Anyway, looks aren't everything. They aren't much at all if you ask me." she continued seriously.

"'Ey, what are you tryin' to say?" Ron asked, pretending to be offended.

"I'm serious, Ron. All that rubbish is little kid stuff...'eew, he's cute...' Honestly!" Lothlorien tutted.

"So what do I do? You don't know how confusing this all is. I want to tell her so badly...but then I worry about how things will change when I do.

Especially if she doesn't like me back, you know? Ugh...I pray I don't get that stupid 'but we've already got something special! We're friends, I see you like a brother...' crap.

I swear I'll shoot myself if I'm ever given that load." He said, rolling his eyes as Lothlorien laughed.

"Before I start lecturing you, I need to know what you've got in mind." she said. Ron took a minute.

"Well...I suppose I been planning on asking her to the Yule Ball and telling her then if I hadn't managed to spit it out by that time...then there'd be tons of butterbeer to quell me if things don't go so well..." he trailed off, looking into space.

Two days before the trip, the announcements for the Yule Ball were made. The Three Broomsticks itself was packed with nervous boys and doofy acting girls asking each other to the Ball.

"Bah!" Lothlorien ejaculated.

"What?" Ron asked.

"That's too cliche! If Hermione has even the least little bit of a slight suspicion that you like her, she'll be expecting you to ask her to the Ball and then during the whole thing she'll be waiting for you confess about your long, tortured days of writing poetry about her and wishing she were your wife.

Then if things don't happen the way she imagined they would...just everything will be ruined, it's horrible. Throw it out the window, it'll never work!" Ron stared at Lothlorien, looking like he was afraid she'd bite his head off.

"She doesn't know you like her does she...?" Lothlorien asked as if it were the most important question in the world. Ron stared at his feet and scratched his head.

"I don't think so...no. I mean, during fourth year...but I think she thinks.....Oh, I don't know! Why? Should I tell her A.S.A.P.?" Ron asked, distressed.

"NO! Girls don't like you if they know you like them!" she replied as if it was the obvious answer.

"Uh...they don't?" Ron asked.

"Ofcourse not! Since you're not sure whether she suspects anything we've got to kill the possibility...Act like you're head over heels about some girl...ask her to the Ball and then make a big deal about it. Not too big, though. Hermione's not stupid, or else we needn't be here.

If she's been thinking that you kind of have a thing for her all along, and she finds out you like someone else, she'll feel bad that she was gassed up for so long for no reason and she'll want you to like her.

Ooh! Ooh! This is what you do! After you ask someone, don't just tell Hermione. Look all happy and giggly and then she'll ask you what it's all about and then you tell her how the girl that you've liked for the longest time, uh...emphasize longest, has said she'll go to the dance with you. Then you float away looking all jolly. It'll drive her mad." Lothlorien smiled mischievously, pleased with her brilliant scheme.

Ron turned it over in his mind a few times and decided it was for the best, but he was still confused. "Aww, damn this is hard work!" he thought aloud.

"When the time for action comes, you'll feel fine. Just find someone convincing to ask to the ball. Don't take Pansy Parkinson, for instance." Lothlorien said. Ron scratched his head.

"Umm...will you go with me?" he asked.

"Can't. I'm already going with Draco." she replied.

"Who's that?" Ron asked.

"Malfoy." Lothlorien replied.

"Oh, Malfoy...forgot his name wa...Malfoy?! Awww, gees! You're going with that git?" Ron was thinking about Harry and how that news would make him go mad.

"He's not a git. He's my friend" she said, sipping her butter beer.

"Awww...,' Ron continued. "What do you see in that guy? He's the biggest pain in the ass! All he does is make fun of people!" Ron said, sounding like a mother who was mourning her daughter's poor taste.

"I like him because he isn't phony. If he were to try to pretend that he isn't the way he is around me, that would've shown lack of confidence. See how important confidence is? But no, he just acts as he would if he were with anybody else." Lothlorien said, happy that one of her points had been proven.

"But don't you think he's so annoying? Always thinking he's better than everyone else, and all." Ron said, trying to convince Lothlorien that she hated Malfoy.

"It's not like all he does all day is make fun of people." she said.

"Nah, not all day. Only like half of it." Ron said sarcastically.

"Well it's really not his fault. His parents are snobs - he was raised that way. My parents tried to raise me that way too." she said, half mumbling it to herself.

"Oh? Pray-tell, what is this 'tried' business?" Ron asked, anticipating a story.

"Well, as far back as I can remember they were always trying to instill in my head that I'm better than other people. Actually, mainly Papa. Mother just always sits around looking miserable...anyway Papa would always tell me how the Royal Family is superior and that those of the lower classes are unworthy and blah, blah, blah.

Until I was four I had never even seen a person from a lower class. Papa wouldn't allow it. I always had to play tea-time with my boring, prissy cousins...then one day as I was playing with the flowers in the court yard, the jester's son came along.

My back was turned to him and I didn't know he was there. The first thing he did was sneak up on me and prod me in the head. I was so surprised I fell into the water fountain and he laughed so hard he began to gasp for breath, throwing himself around on the grass and pointing at me.

So then I started laughing too and then we played tag, and hide-and-seek, make the royal guards go seek their hiding swords, dysfunctional tea-time...I was enjoying myself for the first time ever. Then Papa found out and tried to get rid of Puck - that's my friend's name, KePuck Galindrel - and I wouldn't have it.

Then he gave me another stupid lecture about all that class rubbish. That just made things worse. All that time my father was telling me to keep away from lower-classed people, but the first lower class person I met turned out to be the first person I ever really liked!

I knew Papa was full of it since I was four! Anyway, KePuck and I have been best friends ever since." Lothlorien finished, smiling.

"Hmph! Touching.....So Malfoy has yet to meet the magic muggle that will prove to him that his parents have raised him wrong? Come on, now, Lo, he's ignorant!" Ron said.

"Leave him alone. Nobody's perfect. If everyone were the same life wouldn't be life, now would it? Anyhow, let's get back to this Hermione business..." she said.

"So when do I break the news to her? During the last dance at the Ball I could just...."

"CLICHE! CLICHE!" Lothlorien interrupted. "During the Ball she'll be imagining you miraculously seeing the light and realizing she is the one you want. You've got to dish out the bull a little longer.

Get her to the point of hopelessness. I say New Year's Eve seems a fine time. Nice and festive and spontaneous!" she smiled.

"Mmm. So then what do I say?" he asked.

"Well I'm not going to program you, Ron. Your own words are your best bet. Sure you may want to get a basic outline of what you're going to say. Mind you, what you're going to say, not what Happenin' Quotes for Dummies is going to say.

Just a basic outline, not the whole speech. Even stupid girls can tell when you're rehearsing lines to them. It's annoying as hell, so don't do it.

Spon-tin-a-it-y. Those are going to be your five favorite words. And that's all I have to say about that!" Lothlorien finished.

She and Ron continued talking well into the night. Harry and Hermione showed up at about 11 p.m. Everything had gone well with Norbert - except that he didn't remember Hagrid, and quite frankly didn't want anything to do with him, sadly.

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