Hi, everybody!!! Long time no see =)

This here is the 11th chapter!

The Wipers are cool!

* Chapter 11 *

Neville Longbottom was sneaking around in the dead of night. He stumbled into the Slytherin common room, knocking over a small table.

"Oops." he said quietly as he fidgeted with something in his pocket. He crept into the room where Malfoy was sleeping and approached his bed.

"Heh heh heh." he snickered as he pulled a can of Crup grub from his pocket. Something fell from Neville's hand and clinked onto the stone floor, without Neville noticing.

He gently un-tucked Malfoy and began to smother the Crup grub over his body. He looked at Malfoy for a second and began to snicker. Then he whistled.

Three crups emerged from under Crabbe's bed and they jumped on Malfoy, biting and scratching him while trying to eat the grub. Neville snickered and left the room. As he exited the Slytherin common room he heard Malfoy scream.

* * *

The next morning, everyone was talking (laughing) about Malfoy's little incident. Surprisingly Malfoy had survived the attack, with all his limbs intact at that. But even more surprisingly, Malfoy did not make one complaint about it.

He wasn't trying to sue or fire Hagrid for bestowing blood thirsty crups upon helpless students, nor was he even worried about finding out who had snuck into his room and covered him in smelly crup food. He seemed right jolly that morning, and he had a funny looking grin on his face.

"What is that idiot smiling about?" Harry muttered, staring hatefully at Malfoy.

"He probably liked being licked all over." Ron laughed as he held Hermione's wand over her head.

"Give it, already!" she half laughed.

"Bot I ahm geefing it too you, my Herm - on- ninny." Ron said, imitating Viktor Krum. They were in Professor Binns' history class and Ron was making fun of Krum, who had just sent Hermione an owl in which he suggested they "go out sometime."

"Catch, Harry!" Ron said, tossing Hermione's wand over.

Harry wasn't paying attention and the wand just bounced off his head and onto the floor. Hermione quickly snatched it up.

"Hey, Har', forget about Malfoy. You've been grimacing like a grumpy old man for too long. Loosen up." Ron said.

"I don't know...something's definitely wrong here." Harry said..

"Are you serious, Harry? You really have a feeling something's up?" Hermione asked. Harry nodded.

"Come on, you guys. This is not an episode of Scooby-Doo, you know? Let whatever's happening happen, and let the adults worry about fixing things." Ron said.

With that he threw a crumpled piece of paper at Malfoy's head. After class Harry pulled Ron and Hermione into an empty classroom and shut the door.

"Just listen to me for a second...during the past week strange things have been going on at night, right?

Malfoy was mysteriously covered in crup food, the other night Professor Snape's office was trashed, Ron, your box of chocolate frogs is missing...some other kids who said they had some kind of candy in their trunks were robbed too.

Put it all together...Malfoy, Snape, candy..."

"And you get a really bad porno." Ron grimaced. Hermione sucked her teeth.

"You're so stupid, Ron. Are you saying Neville did it, Harry?" she asked.

"Exactly." Harry said, happy that Hermione came to the same conclusion he had.

"Oh, please. Neville wouldn't have the nerve to stay up past his bed time, let alone go sneaking around the castle." Ron said.

"It would take something amazing to get Neville to do all that wouldn't it? Now let's say he accidentally left that something behind at his last crime scene and his victim found it. He'd be an awfully happy victim, eh?" Harry finished.

"Harry, you're a genius!" Hermione said.

"Let's go find Neville." Harry said, holding the door open for his two friends.

"How the hell do you figure this crap out?" Ron asked, frowning.

They headed for Filch's office. Harry opened the door slowly and peaked in. He had seen Filch with Mrs. Norris working inside a classroom near the library but he still wanted to make sure the coast was clear.

"It's empty. Let's go." he said. The three friends entered the dungeon like office of Argus Filch.

"Neville! Neville...are you in here?" Ron called as he searched the room.

"Ugh, you morons! You made me forget all about my herbology exam!" Hermione said angrily.

"You can get in trouble with whoever's teaching your next lesson if you want, but I'm heading back to class." she said slamming the door behind her.

"I don't exactly feel like getting into trouble either." Ron sighed as he plopped down on a pile of books. "Maybe...maybe we're not cut out for this...detective work anymore, Harry." he finished.

"I'm not worried about class not one bit." Harry replied, opening the closet doors. "But...you do what you think is best, Ron."

"Alright, I'm outta here. May the force be with you." Ron said. He got up and left.

"Where the hell would Neville be?" Harry thought. He looked over at Filch's stash of things-students-should-not-have-had-with-them-at-school he had confiscated over the years.

"I might as well..." Harry said as he walked over to the open cabinet. He rumaged through the mess of things, many of which were Fred and George Weasley's fake wands and trick candies.

"These things were great." He laughed, throwing down a Ton-tongue toffee. "Maybe I'll find something of Dad's." he thought. Finding nothing interesting in the opened portion, Harry went on to open a small side drawer of the cabinet.

It was full of tiny things like action figures, giga pets and eccentric hair clips. Harry saw something sparkle from under super man's arm. He untangled the mass of toys and saw that the sparkling thing was a beautiful ring. He picked it up and examined it.

It had a beautiful and delicate design of tiny trees and hills and on the inside there was some kind of inscription of strange curvy letters that were completely foreign to Harry. He unconsciously slipped the ring onto his finger and continued to search Filch's stash.

"Who's in here?!" Filch burst in. Harry dropped the frilly cape he had in his hand and panicked. "Who's in here? If it was you who made this mess, Longbottom, you won't be getting dinner for a week!" Filch hollered as he entered the room Harry was in. He was now staring right at Harry.

Harry was formulating a good lie to tell Filch in explanation for his being there but Filch walked right through him and proceeded to search his closets.

"Come out already! The longer you make me search for you the worse your punishment'll be when I find you" he said. Harry couldn't help but gasp.

"Filch walked right through me!" he thought.

"I heard that!" Filch turned and walked back into the ante-room, Mrs. Norris speeding behind him. Harry just noticed that Mrs. Norris couldn't even smell him. He finally gained enough composure to get out Filch's office and he ran for Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Harry's heart was racing.

"Am I dead? Filch walked through me!" he blurted out. He then realized that he was wearing the beautiful ring he saw in the cabinet drawer.

"How did this thing get here?" he asked himself as he took it off. He sat on a toilet and took a few minutes to reflect.

"Okay, I must have put the ring on without even realizing it. Maybe it's what made me...do whatever it is I did..." Harry thought as he slipped it back onto his finger. He then tried to walk through the stall door.

"Ouch!" he said, rubbing his nose. He was still whole. He looked at his watch and realized it was time for dinner and that he was hungry. He put the ring deep into a pocket that was on the inside of his robes, zipped it shut and walked down to the Great Hall.

"So what happened, Harry?" Ron asked as Harry sat next to him.

"Nothing." Harry lied. "I just went through Filch's cabinets and found a bunch of the twins' fake wands."

Ron began to tell Harry about how Seamus was making him laugh during charms class, but Harry was staring at Malfoy. He didn't have that stupid grin on his face anymore. He looked miserable, infact.

"Could it be that this was Neville's amazing thing?" Harry asked himself.

Meanwhile Lothlorien was walking up to her room. She went inside, closed the door and put her books down. Then something suddenly jumped on her.

"Mommy!" it said, happily. She squealed as she dashed backward.

"SAM?" she gasped. Something had happened to Sam. He wasn't exactly a crup anymore. Lothlorien turned red and Puck appeared, sitting at a desk with a pen in his mouth.

"What?" he whined.

"What did you do to Sammy?" Lothlorien asked, visibly agitated.

"Oh, that...heh, um...I was trying to recopy my homework...cause it was sloppy...and I was too lazy to do it by hand...and, well...Sam jumped in the way...and he..."

"He turned half Elv because you were trying to recopy your homework? You need to clear out your mind badly. Anyway, you ought to be more careful when you use magic over here, dumb ass!" Lothlorien scolded. Sam was growling at Puck.

"Um...I can try to change him back if that's what you want..." Puck said. Sam dashed behind Lothlorien.

"Just...go." she said. "A'right." Puck shrugged and he and his desk disappeared.

"You won't let that guy change me, will you, Mommy?" Sam asked, staring at Lothlorien with his big amber eyes. He spoke Quenya. He was now half crup half Elv, a wolf-boy, to put it clearly...he could walk on two legs, talk and he even had magic.

"No, sweetie." she replied. She couldn't help falling in love with the new Sam - he was so adorable! And he thought she was his Mommy.

"Um...you should put on some clothes, Sammy." Lothlorien said and she magicked some clothes on him. He jumped up and licked her on the face.

"No, Sammy! Now that you're a boy...you can't go licking people like that anymore..." she said. He then scratched his neck with his right leg.

"You mustn't do that either, baby. We have to teach you to be a right and proper Elv." she said. Then she remembered Harry and that they were supposed to be graded for taking care of Sam.

"Come on." she said taking his hand. They headed to the common room. Harry was sitting at a table near the fire place reading his Charms textbook.

"Daddy!" Sam yelped as he jumped on Harry. Harry froze stiff.

"Um...Sam?" he said, looking up at Lothlorien. She nodded.

"But...what? How?" he muttered.

"Um...I was too lazy to recopy my homework manually...so, you know, I used magic, and Sam jumped in the way...and that's what happened." Lothlorien quickly spit out Puck's story.

"This happened?! Can't you change..."

"NO!" Lothlorien interrupted. "It'd break his heart if he heard his Daddy say he wanted to change him back." Lothlorien whispered in Harry's ear as Sam sniffed Harry's bag.

"Well, we'll just have to tell Hagrid." Harry said, standing up. The two went off to Hagrid's cabin.

* * *

Screams rang out through the night. People were running out of the forest and then someone burst out laughing. It was an annoying laugh. It sounded more mischievous than evil. A short but lanky boy with long white hair was on the ground clutching his stomach. He was laughing so hard he was in pain.

"Look at the fools run! I'll have those Hogwarts kids crying for their mothers." he said. He then sat on the ground and looked at the stars with a pensive expression on his face.

"Did you say Hogwarts?" A low, evil sounding voice hissed.

"What? Who said that?" the boy asked. An old man then struggled to his feet. He was crouching, supporting himself with his hand on his knee. He turned to face the boy. Half of his face was rotting.

"What the devil are you?" the boy asked. The old man opened his mouth and out of it came a strange, purplish, ghost like mist. When it emerged completely, the old man corpse fell dead on the forest ground.

"Ahh, a poe! Lovely night for possessing dead bodies, eh?" the boy said, getting to his feet. The poe gasped.

"You! You're.....So the children of the Ainulindale still exist..." the poe said, amazement in his tone.

"Ofcourse we do. We're immortal, moron." the boy replied.

"Yes, ofcourse. Forgive my ignorance, Lord Edhel. Did you say Hogwarts?" he asked again.

"Yes I did. So?" the boy asked.

"We must talk for a moment, Lord Edhel..."

Harry woke up. "Voldemort!" he blurted out. "He...he's some kind of ghost...a poe? That's what that guy called him. That guy...there was something familiar about him. God, my head hurts..." Harry thought, rubbing his forehead into his palm.

"Ugh! Why can't I just have a normal life! There's always something going on...stupid Voldemort who doesn't die, all these weird dreams, my crup turned into an Elf, just...what the devil does this all mean?!" Harry said a little loudly.

"It means you're going to have a very busy year." said a little voice from above Harry.

"Wha...?" Harry turned and saw a little red man sitting cross legged in mid air.

"Who the hell are you?" Harry gasped, jumping out his bed. The little man floated down onto Harry's bed.

"My name's Kyubu and your room mates are looking at you." Harry turned and saw Ron, Seamus and Dean, each sitting up in his bed staring at him.

"Harry, who are you talking to?" Ron asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Ugh, are you blind?" Harry yelled, pointing to Kyubu... but he wasn't there.

"Nobody! Go back to bed!" Harry then barked. He jumped back into his bed and pulled his sheets over his head

"I hate my life." Harry thought