The sun rose, but Hyde was already awake. He could hear the rain falling, as if the day felt as bad as him. He was still on the couch, his hand under his head. He was looking at the ceiling, still thinking of what-ifs. What if Bud had never left, what if Edna had stayed, what if he never went to that bar that day. If, if, if. But that wasn't reality. Reality was harsh, reality was painful, but it was real. No little boy dreams could change the past or take away the pain. Everyone always told him to think of the happy times, the good stuff, but that just made rejection harder. It just made him sicker, sicker of it all. What if, what a stupid phrase. It wasn't like things would change if he thought of the good times. It just made him furious, the good times. Because the good times make the bad times seem worse. How could someone wreck the good times for this cheap life. He didn't know, he couldn't understand.
'Sad little orphan boy.'
Yeah, it was just like the sad little orphan boy who didn't understand why his parents kept leaving him. God how he hated that sentence. He decided he had waited on the couch long enough.
Hyde shook his head and decided to get up and eat something. He did so, and went to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and he found two bottles of saki, some milk, cookies, olives, cheese, salami and some orange juice. He kept wondering why Leo put cookies in the fridge, but after all, it was Leo. He smiled and took the carton of juice, drinking from it. He put it back, needing something stronger. His hand reached for the saki bottle, but he stopped. He was not going to start drinking in the morning. It would just make him more like Bud. He closed the fridge, his smile fading. He went to a cupboard and after some searching, he found some coffee. He made the strong brew, it's fragrance filling the room. It reminded him of the Formans. God, he wished he was there. Kitty's cooking always made him feel better. He poured a cup of coffee, and drank it. He needed to sort everything out, to get some closure he kept thinking. Then, the thought hit him.
"I need to see Edna and Bud leave." he whispered.
He looked at his watch. Ten thirty. He didn't have school, today being a Saturday. He decided he would do it. From habit, he knew Edna and Bud usually got up at like noon or so. He still had a lot of time in front of him. He went upstairs, to Leo's room.
He knocked and found Leo sleeping with his Leo, his small weiner dog. Hyde had always laughed at this. I mean who the hell gave the dog his own name? But only Leo could think of something that weird. Leo half woke up at the sound of his knocking.
"Whoa man, good morning! What's for lunch?" Leo said.
"Leo, it's ten thirty am. Still early for lunch. Anyway, I wanted to tell you I'm taking the day off. I have some stuff to fix." Hyde replied.
"Sure man. Goodnight." Leo said, getting back to sleep.
Hyde went back downstairs, took his jacket off the chair where he had propped it, and left closing the door quietly.
********************************
He drove his car aimlessly for a while, dreading the moment he'd see them leaving. But he decided it was better to go there and get it over with. He drove back to Bud's apartment, and parked in a vacant spot on the other side of the road. It was a safe distance from the apartment, and with the pouring rain, they wouldn't notice him. The wait seemed endless, and for a moment, he thought they had already bailed. Then, he saw the U-Haul truck coming down the street. He saw it park, and he saw a guy getting out. Bud. He felt the urge to go to him and punch his teeth out. But he remained calm, and, leaning over, he took out the pack of cigarettes. He didn't really smoke, he just took one every once in a while. He lit it and took a drag. The smoke nauseated him, and he took out a pack of chewing gum, putting one in his mouth. The cigarette's taste faded, and it was almost like smoking a menthol. He kept smoking, opening his car window a little. He kept looking at the apartment door until he saw Edna and Bud walking to the truck with a bunch of cartons. He heard their loud swearing from his car. After a while, the last carton was in the truck, and Bud stopped before getting in the truck, as if he had regrets.
'Regrets my ass you bastard!' Hyde kept thinking.
Finally, they got in the truck and left. Hyde knew it was going to happen even though he had wished in a kid like fashion for them to see him or to regret what they were about to do, call him and say that they decided not to leave. To stay and try to be a family. But he knew it was never gonna happen. He started the car and took his usual parking spot. He got out.
Going up the three floors to Bud's apartment was the toughest thing he ever did. He unlocked the door and went in. The apartment was almost empty except for the television and his own stuff thrown carelessly everywhere. He found an empty cardboard box and started putting his things in. He was done when a knock was hear. He went to the door and found the landlord.
"Hello Steven. I know what happened. I'm sorry." he said.
"Yeah, me too." Hyde replied.
"Well, your father told me to tell you to take the TV. He left it for you."
Hyde turned around and looked at the TV. He looked back at the landlord.
"You take it, I don't want anything to do with them."
The landlord looked at him and nodded. Hyde took his box and went downstairs. They were wanting to buy him off. What hypocrites. He always thought that Bud had started to understand him, but he was wrong. He had hoped for a note, an apology, anything. But all they left him was a television. That's what one year of living together was worth. A television set. Hyde laughed bitterly at this. He got to his car, unlocked it and put the box in the front seat with him. He started the engine and left. The rain had stopped while he was in the apartment, and he took it as a sign. It was over. A new day had started. No more bad feelings. Nothing. And with that, he started driving to the Formans, preparing to tell them of what had happened. He kept looking for a way to say it, but after many tries, he just thought that he'll see how it turns out when he gets there. He was itching to go back to the Formans, to his home. He pushed on the gas, wanting to get it over with.
'Sad little orphan boy.'
Yeah, it was just like the sad little orphan boy who didn't understand why his parents kept leaving him. God how he hated that sentence. He decided he had waited on the couch long enough.
Hyde shook his head and decided to get up and eat something. He did so, and went to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and he found two bottles of saki, some milk, cookies, olives, cheese, salami and some orange juice. He kept wondering why Leo put cookies in the fridge, but after all, it was Leo. He smiled and took the carton of juice, drinking from it. He put it back, needing something stronger. His hand reached for the saki bottle, but he stopped. He was not going to start drinking in the morning. It would just make him more like Bud. He closed the fridge, his smile fading. He went to a cupboard and after some searching, he found some coffee. He made the strong brew, it's fragrance filling the room. It reminded him of the Formans. God, he wished he was there. Kitty's cooking always made him feel better. He poured a cup of coffee, and drank it. He needed to sort everything out, to get some closure he kept thinking. Then, the thought hit him.
"I need to see Edna and Bud leave." he whispered.
He looked at his watch. Ten thirty. He didn't have school, today being a Saturday. He decided he would do it. From habit, he knew Edna and Bud usually got up at like noon or so. He still had a lot of time in front of him. He went upstairs, to Leo's room.
He knocked and found Leo sleeping with his Leo, his small weiner dog. Hyde had always laughed at this. I mean who the hell gave the dog his own name? But only Leo could think of something that weird. Leo half woke up at the sound of his knocking.
"Whoa man, good morning! What's for lunch?" Leo said.
"Leo, it's ten thirty am. Still early for lunch. Anyway, I wanted to tell you I'm taking the day off. I have some stuff to fix." Hyde replied.
"Sure man. Goodnight." Leo said, getting back to sleep.
Hyde went back downstairs, took his jacket off the chair where he had propped it, and left closing the door quietly.
********************************
He drove his car aimlessly for a while, dreading the moment he'd see them leaving. But he decided it was better to go there and get it over with. He drove back to Bud's apartment, and parked in a vacant spot on the other side of the road. It was a safe distance from the apartment, and with the pouring rain, they wouldn't notice him. The wait seemed endless, and for a moment, he thought they had already bailed. Then, he saw the U-Haul truck coming down the street. He saw it park, and he saw a guy getting out. Bud. He felt the urge to go to him and punch his teeth out. But he remained calm, and, leaning over, he took out the pack of cigarettes. He didn't really smoke, he just took one every once in a while. He lit it and took a drag. The smoke nauseated him, and he took out a pack of chewing gum, putting one in his mouth. The cigarette's taste faded, and it was almost like smoking a menthol. He kept smoking, opening his car window a little. He kept looking at the apartment door until he saw Edna and Bud walking to the truck with a bunch of cartons. He heard their loud swearing from his car. After a while, the last carton was in the truck, and Bud stopped before getting in the truck, as if he had regrets.
'Regrets my ass you bastard!' Hyde kept thinking.
Finally, they got in the truck and left. Hyde knew it was going to happen even though he had wished in a kid like fashion for them to see him or to regret what they were about to do, call him and say that they decided not to leave. To stay and try to be a family. But he knew it was never gonna happen. He started the car and took his usual parking spot. He got out.
Going up the three floors to Bud's apartment was the toughest thing he ever did. He unlocked the door and went in. The apartment was almost empty except for the television and his own stuff thrown carelessly everywhere. He found an empty cardboard box and started putting his things in. He was done when a knock was hear. He went to the door and found the landlord.
"Hello Steven. I know what happened. I'm sorry." he said.
"Yeah, me too." Hyde replied.
"Well, your father told me to tell you to take the TV. He left it for you."
Hyde turned around and looked at the TV. He looked back at the landlord.
"You take it, I don't want anything to do with them."
The landlord looked at him and nodded. Hyde took his box and went downstairs. They were wanting to buy him off. What hypocrites. He always thought that Bud had started to understand him, but he was wrong. He had hoped for a note, an apology, anything. But all they left him was a television. That's what one year of living together was worth. A television set. Hyde laughed bitterly at this. He got to his car, unlocked it and put the box in the front seat with him. He started the engine and left. The rain had stopped while he was in the apartment, and he took it as a sign. It was over. A new day had started. No more bad feelings. Nothing. And with that, he started driving to the Formans, preparing to tell them of what had happened. He kept looking for a way to say it, but after many tries, he just thought that he'll see how it turns out when he gets there. He was itching to go back to the Formans, to his home. He pushed on the gas, wanting to get it over with.