Disclaimer- I own nothing except the plot (right? ^^;)
A/n- sigh sigh sigh. I really am hopeless, ne? I mean, writing up a fic without even checking for the character's names…now don't think of me as a bad RK fan, cuz I'm not! I just only know their Chinese names datz all (-_-;;; I have the Chinese manga series, I can't read Japanese, don't blame me.) and I cannot possibly write a ficcy with their Chinese names. I mean, unless you were Asian, how are you supposed know that Yuan is Enishi? Or that Wai-Ien is Gein? I mean, jeesh! So, I'm giving it a shot, but expect the names to be funny or misspelled. (cuz I went online and searched—roughly)
Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND FOUREnishi groaned and got up. What was that RACKET??? Can't a mafia leader get some decent sleep without his fellow murderers waking him up very very early morning???
There was a gasp, then knocking on his door.
Enishi staggered out onto the door and opened it. "WHAT?!"
There was no one there.
"This isn't funny. Whoever it is can come out right now!" Enishi hollered.
The crackly voice came from the ceiling. Mumyouni. "Go…check out Gein's room. They're destroying it right now."
"Who's destroying Gein's room?" Enishi asked impatiently.
"The rest of your…comrades." Mumyouni said, then there was a scrabbling and no more.
Enishi sighed, pulled off his bathrobe, and dressed. Then he walked briskly to Gein's room. He opened the door to face…utter madness.
~*~
"WHAT THE **** IS THIS?!?!" Enishi shouted above the screams and yells.
"Look for yourself, old man!" Banshin yelled, and slammed another pillow onto Gein's head.
"Old man?!" Enishi roared, "I'm just 22!!!" (do the math. If Kenshin was 15 when he killed Tomoe, and Enishi 9, they were six years apart. And now Kenshin's 28, so Enishi must be 22.)
"What's with the white hair then?" Banshin retorted, and then foomphed Hyouko.
Gein was holding a puppet of Banshin, and slamming it into the wall.
"From the ceiling with love!" Mumyouni's voice cackled, and then five pillows fell from the ceiling simultaneously, each hitting Enishi, Gein, Banshin, Hyouko, and Hyougo with amazing accuracy (^_^;).
Hyougo jabbbed at the ceiling with his pillow, which was impaled on his bayonet thingy attached to his disabled arm.
Enishi threw the pillow off, face red with anger, then hollered over everyone: "SHUTTTT UPPPPPP!"
There was silence. For effects, CySer even put crickets chirping in the background.
"Quit it." Enishi growled to CS, who slinked away meekly (but still blushing because His Hotness had actually spoken to her).
"This is an outrage!" Enishi yelled, pounding his fist into his palm. "Is this really the UNITED group we call the Six Comrades???"
Banshin looked around. "Um, there's me, you, Gein, Hyouko, Hyougo, and Mumyouni up there. Yeah we're still here. Why?"
Enishi groaned and slapped his forehead. "Forget it. Just think, if the Battousai were to see this—"
But all attention was diverted off him onto a tiny television screen Gein had just turned on.
"See, this is Pillow Grand Pree round ONE," Gein was saying, prodding at the screen. "THIS is Battousai, THAT is his girlfriend, THAT is the brat, and THAT is the chicken freak beating the crap out of each other."
"Oooooooh, ahhhhhhhh." The rest of the 6 comrades said, eyes glued to the screen.
"Would you guys LISTEN?!" Enishi threw up his arms. "The Battousai obviously thinks he's better than us because HE has a little fling with all his little friends, so what do we need to do, comrades?!"
"BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER MORE THAN THE BATTOUSAI DID TO HIS PALS!" The other five chanted.
"I can't hear you!" Enishi screamed.
"BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER MORE THAN THE BATTOUSAI DID TO HIS PALS!" The five screamed back.
"Louder!" Enishi coaxed.
"BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER MORE THAN THE BATTOUSAI DID TO HIS PALS!" the five shrieked.
Enishi nodded his approval. "Much better."
~*~
"Th-this is per-perfect—" Enishi wheezed. "We killed ourselves more than the Battousai killed his friends!"
Gein had his mask off and was wiping his face with it. "Yeah. Yeah."
Mumyouni, true to his family law, had stayed up in the ceiling, dropping pillow-bombs everywhere. But he finally gave up after Hyougo did stab him with the pillow-bayonet.
Banshin was still bouncing around, laughing evilly and throwing pillows at the wall. We reckon he's gone mad.
Hyouko had finally released all his secret weapons and, after exhausting them all, had collapsed himself.
Hyougo had lumbered out earlier, complaining about stomach cramps.
"Hey let's watch round one, see how we did compared to the Battousai's." Enishi said suddenly, and flicked on the TV.
There came the hollers, then screams, and foomphs.
"Ho ho!" Enishi laughed as Kenshin got creamed by Sanosuke. "See how you like that, BUTTousai!"
"So, how did we do?" Gein asked.
"I dunno." Enishi shrugged. "That CyberSerpent freak censored it all."
"Figgers." Banshin stopped hurling pillows at the wall. "She had to censor it, otherwise think of all the widdle itty-bitty babies that won't be able to sleep tonight after reading this."
"Hey…" Enishi snapped his fingers, "That's IT!"
~*~
Let me tell you, as I was typing this, a white-haired man suddenly came out of nowhere, tied and gagged me, then threw me into my closet. I had no idea what he did to my computer at that time, but when I came out, THIS was typed.
~*~
NOT FOR WIDDLE BABIES WHO'LL GET NIGHTMARES AFTER READING THIS
First, Enishi gave Banshin an uppercut to his chin with his pillow, then a left punch.
Banshin growled and kicked Enishi's groin, causing him to double over and groan (groan groin get it?).
Then Enishi killed Banshin.
Then Banshin killed Enishi.
Then Gein killed them all.
Gein DID NOT kill them all! He's a big fat liar. Enishi did! He sprayed everyone with pillows, which was mighty smart of him, and then shot them all with a pillow-rifle.
Enishi is a @#$%, it was Banshin that won the fight!
Then everyone started chanting "Mumyouni! Mumyouni! Mumyouni!" and so he won the fight.
You missed the first part, Mumyouni, it was You die Mumyouni! You die Mumyouni! You die Mumyouni!
Shut UP Banshin.
It is pretty cool though, how you can just reach your hand down from the ceiling and type.
All the Yatsumes are cool.
My foot.
Can we go now Enishi?
~*~
So, anyway, that typed on my computer. It was pretty funny so I left it here for humor's sake. Hey that's funny…how did this piece of paper labeled JINCHUU get in my room? …
A/n- tee-hee. The first person narrarative is me, of course. But unfortunately, that sort of thing never happened to me as I was typing a fic ^.^;;;;. Quite unfortunately u.u. Anyhoo, NOW I can finally do the group vs. group thingies!!! Sorry guys! But I had to let you have a taste of each group first ^_^. So, it'll be a parody of the battle against Shishio, so in other words, Kenshin-gumi and Oniwa Banshuu vs. Juppon-Gattana. Spoilers are included of course XD
Later dayz!
CyberSerpent .~
PS. I can also call myself CySer, so when you see that, it's me! Not Scyther or Scizor though! That's the Pokemon!
PPS. Please review! Come on! 17 reviews! 3 more! C'mon!