Disclaimer- I do not own, in any part, Rurouni Kenshin…but I want the pillows! Gimme Soujiro's pillow!
A/n- first off, I would just like to thank everyone for their reviews. You guys are awesome, thankies!
Secondly, the fight between Juppon-Gattana and Kenshin-gumi&Oniwa Banshuu lasted a grand total of FOUR-AND-A-HALF complete mangas(the first half of #13 isn't), so expect this to—um—drag out a bit.
Thirdly, the fights will take place as follows:
1. Sanosuke vs. Anji
2. Saito vs. Usui
3. Kenshin vs. Aoshi
4. Oniwa Banshuu+Kaoru+Yahiko+Hiko vs. Kamatari, Hennya, and Iwanbou
5. Kenshin vs. Soujiro
6. Kenshin vs. Shishio (round a)
7. Sano, Saito, and Aoshi vs. Shishio
8. Kenshin vs. Shishio (round b)
Okay, now that's A LOT. So, round six will be Saito vs. Usui, round seven will be Kenshin vs. Aoshi, and so on.
Now, sit back and enjoy…Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND FIVE! The rather peculiar parody of the final fight between Ken-chan and Shishio-sama!!! (guest star: Seijiro Hiko! Everyone scream!)
PS. This starts at Scene#107 in the manga, where they first meet Yumi and get directed to Anji and such. Sorry but me don't know the anime dat well, only the manga ^_^;;;
Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND FIVETo avoid let you just wander around and get bored, I have an important task for you in mind, Yumi.
Kenshin, Sanosuke, and Saito walked around to the door. The trio all noticed someone at the door.
"…there's someone there." Kenshin stated the obvious as they approached the form.
Yumi's form came into view. "Welcome everyone. Once you go in, it's a maze of doors and corridors. In order to guide you, Shishio-sama sent me, Yumi Konagata, to assist you."
"He's trying to use a woman to make us distracted. I've seen lots of tricks like these, be careful everyone." Sanosuke said solemnly.
"The only person who'll fall for something as babyish as that is you." Saito remarked.
"!"
"Shishio isn't a shallow character." Kenshin replied.
"!!"
"Alright, let's go in."
"…"
~*~
Yumi was about to open a door when she stopped. "Oh yes. Shishio-sama wants me to deliver this message to you: the battle form is one-on-one. First we'll let one person fight, and if he loses, the next steps up. The fighter is entirely up to you. But," at this she smiled devilishly, "the rest cannot interfere."
Sanosuke grinned, "Good. One-on-one's the fastest way to go."
Saito took a long drag, then exhaled. "I don't care, but one-on-one's really too tedious. Whoever's my opponent, send them on all together!"
"What about you, Himura?" Yumi asked.
"It's good. But if anyone tries to pillow-foomph-murder the opponent after the match is proven, I won't just stand there. Because I promised to battle. Not to kill pointlessly." Kenshin answered.
Yumi giggled, "Hee, innocent man…" she pushed open the door, "Alright, player number one, go."
A giant Buddha statue wielding a pillow graced the center of the room.
Kenshin looked startled. "The Pillow Buddha…"
Saito guffawed, "There's a monk in the ruthless killing Juppon-Gattana?"
Sanosuke said, "That's right. There is an off-track, absolute 'monk'."
Anji stood there solemnly, his face glowering.
Sanosuke clenched his fists. "Alright, I guess I'll be fighting the first round (or in this case, fifth ^^)! Kenshin, gimme my pillow."
Kenshin handed Sanosuke a goose-feather pillow.
Sanosuke frowned. "I said I wanted duck feathers, not goose."
Kenshin shrugged. "I was in a hurry to get out of the house, so…"
Sanosuke walked to Anji, armed with his pillow.
"Konagata-dono, he is…?" Kenshin asked Yumi.
Yumi chuckled. "Juppon-Gattana's 'Pillow Death King', Anji, his skills are high!"
Anji, Kenshin thought, the one that saved Misao-chan…the third highest fighter in the Juppon-Gattana…and—I don't know what you two have been thru, Sanosuke, but watch out! I can sense an impeccable aura coming from him…
"Hi!" Sanosuke greeted. "It's been a while, eh?
"I've always wanted to meet you again, but not under these conditions." Sanosuke went on.
"Me too. It turns out all that crap you said about the government was fake. I'm very disappointed in you, to tell the truth." Anji replied.
"I'm the one who's disappointed, you stinkin' baldy!" Sanosuke shot back fiercely. "What's all that shit you said about 'saving the world'?! So you help Shishio destroy the world, well in my dictionary SAVE and DESTROY are NOT synonyms!"
(A/n- and so they go on, just talking. But I'm sure you want to skip all this junk and go to the pillow fight, right? So let's fast-forward—::hits switch on remote control:: okay! The fight begins! …oh yeah, this little funny tidbit I threw in, the next part's the fight ^^)
"I've always thought you were smart." Anji said.
Saito took a drag. "You think too high of him."
"Ya stay outta this!" Sanosuke screeched.
"Sanosuke!" Kenshin yelled, "Don't feel intimidated! In the areas of pillow-fighting, even a double-pillow fighter is not seemable to defeat the single-pillow fighter,"
Sanosuke perked up.
Kenshin continued, "Who cares if your brain's not that smart! Just concentrate, and you'll win!"
At this Sanosuke fell over anime-style. "Dammit! Everyone thinks I'm so low!"
"But, the double-pillow-limit you just showed me increased my chance of winning." Sanosuke picked up his pillow.
"Oi, Himura!" Yumi said crossly. "The battle's one-on-one, you can't intervene."
"I know, that's why I'm using my mouth to substitute my fists!" Kenshin replied, smiling.
Still doesn't learn his lesson, Saito thought, sighing.
Brat! Yumi growled in her mind, veins popping.
"Just with you? Don't be stupid." Anji answered. "You don't have a chance."
"Have or don't, ya'll hafta try it to find out!" Sanosuke retorted, and lunged himself at Anji, beating his pillow ferociously on his head.
But Anji reacted faster, and stuck his pillow at Sanosuke. Sanosuke twisted away and smacked the pillow into Anji's side as hard as he could.
To his surprise, it made no effect. "Wha—???"
(This is not going to follow the original "fight"line because then I'd be tweaking everything to pillow-ish, so I'm just gonna invent the middle of the fight, but beginning and ending still da same, kewl?)
All Sanosuke saw before feeling intense pain was a flurry of whiteness. Anji had smashed the pillow onto Sanosuke's head.
"Ya're askin' for it buddy!" Sanosuke growled and swooshed his pillow onto Anji's head.
"Die!" Anji responded and ripped Sanosuke's pillow away.
"Uh…" Sanosuke gulped. "Oh."
~*~
"Isn't it enough, Anji?
All the pain, sorrow you experienced in past, isn't it enough? Now is the time to stop and live peacefully!"
"I don't care if I'm full of wounds, since I already lost all sense of pain. I'll go on as the 'Pillow Death Monk' until my idea of 'world saving' comes true! Those children who have died a burning and painful death—will surely agree with me!"
"YOU—STINKIN' STUPID ASSHOLE!!!!!
YOU DON'T GET ANYTHIN' AT ALL!"
There was a foomph, then Anji was rocked backwards to fall.
Kenshin stared, stunned, at Sanosuke. "That was…" not only had he used the double-pillow-limit, he then used his fingers to propel the pillow forward with more force! That was…Triple-Pillow-Limit…
"You…" Anji stood up, murder in his eyes. He let out a howl and raised his pillow to pummel Sanosuke into tomorrow.
"Not my best goose-feather pillow!" Kenshin cried.
Sanosuke sniggered, "Ya pillow ain't goin' no where, Kenshin. Chill." Then he turned to Anji. "Those dead kids don't care nothin' about you savin' the world. What they want, is for their surviving shishou to get happiness. Look at yourself." Sanosuke pointed to the slate stuck in Anji's pant cuff. "They're covered in your pillow feathers, crying out in pain. Don't you see? Losing them changed your viewpoint of the world, then you must've truly cared about them. Well then," Sanosuke paused dramatically, "you must understand how they feel too."
Anji fell to his knees and dropped his pillow. Then began to weep.
A/n- not much humor there? Not much fighting either? Ah forgive me forgive me! I got a little tired of following the fightline, so just invented my own (sortov)! I was laughing at the Triple-Pillow-Limit thing, the Pillow Death Monk but izzat all? Please review and tell me watcha dink!
Later dayz!
CyberSerpent .~
PS. Umm…I was thinking…can I take off the Saito and Usui fight? Thing is, they have all these attacks that I dunno the names of, except for Gatotsu. Please review and tell me if you think I should have the S and U fight off. it's a bit tedious watching the same thing, just subbing the swords with pillows, after all ^_^;;
PPS. Oooh…sex-ay Kenshin wallpaper *_* email a href="mailto:dracoplushie@aol.com"me/a for it if you want! I got it at a href="www.animegenesis.com"Anime Genesis/a!!!