Disclaimer- I dun own anythin cept mebbe the plot. Nyeh. :b
A/n- sorry for this being so late, minna-san! But I was sick wif the flu, so couldn't get up and type, but I still hadda go to school! ARGH! Well, onto lighter things…
Oops…you're right, huh. It's Roku Ren, not Loku Len. Mew, CySer no baka baka baka! Oki, now that I have completely wallowed in self-pity, let us see what I have in the trap… (as for the issue of Usui reading Playboy mags, this trap was directed towards the wolf of Mibu, not the Blind Pillowsman, although if they had 3-D Playboys that you can feel—UGH, getting perverted here!!! ;p)
::lifts basket slightly:: Oh my gawd! Saito, you actually fell for it! ::lifts basket slightly::
"Whatever, get me OUTTA here, woman!"
Now, now, hang on. ::equips Bishie Ball:: wahahaha! ::throws it at Saito::
"Whuh?"
::Bishie Ball bounces off:: Oro? ::throws Bishie Ball again:: ::Bishie Ball bounces off:: Huh?
::Yoshiko pops in wearing a scholar getup:: "Allow me to explain." ::picks up Bishie Ball and holds it up in front of readers:: "This certain Bishie Ball is, like all Bishie Balls, equipped for only to capture BISHIES. Bishounens."
"Whuzzat mean, woman?"
::Yoshiko glares at Saito:: "You shut up." ::regainst scholarly posture:: "Okay, anyway, as I was SAYING before this rude person interrupted (glare glare), bishounens are what we call, in America, 'hotties'. Seeing as Saito-sama here is most definitely NOT a hottie, he is classified as a plain ole blab man. Now, to capture HIM, we need these special Man Balls—" ::gets pushed out by CySer::
Whew, getting nasty there, werent we? Well anyway, enuff chattering, on wif da pillow madness! Mrow!
Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND EIGHT"Can you stand?" Kenshin's voice echoed throughout the now quiet room.
"Not for the time being." Aoshi replied, staring at the ceiling. "The pain is all over my body, so I'm all numb now.
But, my mind is pretty clear. And my heart is also amazingly content."
Kenshin smiled.
"Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki…no wonder it's called the secret technique. But, if you use it too much, that power-using attack will be sure to exhaust you. And another thing, no matter how strong the attack, if the enemy sees right thru it, it is only half the power." Aoshi said quietly.
"Yes." Kenshin replied knowingly, "I know."
KRRRRRAKSanosuke's fist pounded into the telegraph trasmitter.
"Alright, that relieved me for a while." He said arrogantly, blowing on his fist.
"Hn!" Yumi sniffed.
Sanosuke turned to Kenshin and yelled, "There's not much time left, Kenshin! Hurry to the next battle!"
Aoshi still remained immobile. "Go on. I'll be right behind you."
With that, Sanosuke once again snatched up Yumi and the trio continued on their way.
Iwanbou grinned his evil grin and wiped his pillow-clad hands. "Hoho."
The four Kyoto Oniwa Banshuu members laid crumpled at his feet. Omasu knelt, clutching her bleeding arm. Okon panted heavily for air. The two male comrades were in no better state.
Misao was frantic, "Are you alright?! Minna-san!!!"
"Don't leave your assigned spot, Misao!" Okina called out from the balcony. "Hold on everyone, just a while longer! The cops will come in no time, but for the time being, just HOLD ON!"
The four gave a thumbs-up to that, hurt, but still determined.
A sinister feminine voice chuckled. "Tee-hee…cops?" Kamatari's lips curled up into a baleful smile. "I say…do you think those cops-sama will really come?"
A tall, dark shadow loomed over the police station, which was engulfed by flames.
The police captain was staring at the shadow in complete horror, "M-monster…"
A short, bald old man sat upon the shoulders of the monster, "Wahahaha! What useless rats!" the old man turned to the creature, "I say, Fuji! Shouldn't we be arriving at the Aoiya soon?"
"Well! Let's not fret about other people's worries now, instead, focus on our bout instead, alright?" Kamatari lifted his pillow-scythe out from the ground. "This thing's terribly heavy, m'dear."
"Don't let her provoke you, Misao!" Kaoru said.
"I know, but this thing isn't going to end if this keeps on." Misao answered pertly. "In order to quickly join everyone, I must defeat this pillow-scythe woman!"
(here comes the good part…)
"Pillow-scythe?" Kamatari said. "Woman?" then his lips curled to a knowing smile. "Shucks, you mistunderstood me, I'm…" his hands reached to pull up his kimono.
"!?!?" Misao dropped all her kunai as something censored appeared beneath Kamatari's kimono.
"I'm not a pillow-scythe woman, I'm a crossdressing man ;)"
"GYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!"
"What's wrong, Misao?!" Kaoru turned around, sweatdropping.
Misao pointed at Kamatari, already trembling and losing it, "E-elephant…fuzzy elephant~~~"
Kamatari smiled, blushing and looking down. Actually, that was kindov embarrassing. "Aw, how cute, you're blushing! This can't possibly be your first time seeing it?"
Misao clenched her fist, veins popping and still blushing, "Of course not! I remember when I was very small and taking a bath, I saw Okina's! It's just that yours is bigger than Okina's, and surprised me a little bit!"
"That stupid girl…" Okina said, sweatdropping.
"Oh yeah? Is that it? Oh well, we don't really need to discuss this kind of thing anyway!" Kamatari beckoned his finger forward to provoke Misao even more, "Come on, come on! It's time!"
"I'LL KILL YOU AND RIP YOU TO BITS!" Misao raged, thrusting her fistful of kunai at Kamatari while Kaoru held her back with her kendo stick, "Calm down, Misao! If you just charge forward like that, it'll be going according to his plan!"
"What the hell are you guys DOING?!" Yahiko shouted, his speech bubble knocking Kaoru and Misao down (^^;). "Kaoru, I'll take it from here. You go help Misao! I don't trust her by herself!" Yahiko groused.
"Yahiko!" Kaoru whirled around. "Ah! Hold up! I think I should switch with you, and you come to be with Misao!"
Yahiko retorted, "Are the techniques you taught me that bad that I can't even handle something by myself?! If not, then you should trust your own student!"
Kaoru and Misao looked at him incredulously.
"No problem! Two against one is okay with me." Kamatari interjected. "I gotta be a gentleman, after all."
Kaoru glanced at Okina furtively.
He nodded, indicating: There's no choice, if you let Misao battle alone under these conditions it ain't gonna be pretty. Just listen to Yahiko for the time being and group with Misao!
"Alright, I'll believe you this once." Kaoru said reluctantly. "Just don't forget you still have a lot of training from the Kamiya dojo for you to do. If you dare die here, I won't forgive you."
"No problem!" Yahiko said confidently.
"Good!" Kaoru replied. "Here I come! Misao!"
Kamatari watched the approaching duo with a smile in his eyes.
Yahiko faced the bat-like man apprehensively.
A small puff of air emitted from the man's covered mouth.
"WHAT THE?!" Yahiko went angry-SD, "You just sighed didn't you?! Don't think that I wouldn't notice just 'cuz you're masked!"
"How can I not sigh?" Hennya replied sullenly. "I'm a member of the infamous Juppon-Gattana, and now look what level I've sunk to: fighting against a little brat. I've heard of the famous Hiten Mitsurugi Style a while ago, the style that gives the user a wind-like flying soar. So I've thought about challenging the Battousai to a bout some time or another." At this Hennya turned around and began to walk off, "And when I heard that Shishio-sama ordered me to come here, I nearly fainted. You guys are just plain weaklings!"
"………" Yahiko didn't say a word, but his expression clearly expressed how P.O.ed he was.
"I, Myoujin Yahiko, am not just a plain ole brat like you said." Yahiko began slowly, putting down his pillow, "and even if I am a brat, you did say that you wanted to have a bout with him…I've been watched Himura Kenshin's battles for a while now…" at this Yahiko gritted his teeth and spat out, "I was the closest to him, and stayed with him the longest*, I can say that I've watched him battle his way here!" Yahiko leaned forward intently and hollered in fury, "A wimp like you, who turns against people and belittles them, can NEVER fight against Kenshin and win! And you're gonna have to beat me first anyway, so why don't you just quit acting so wussy and FIGHT ME?!"
"Brat…" Hennya glared at Yahiko. "If you really want that much to die, I'll help you. But—" Hennya flung off his cloak and revealed a grotesquely skinny body with loads of pillow-dynamite** on his cloak, now transformed into a wing-like cape, "I won't kill you with just one strike, I'll torture you nicely, and let you know the consequences of insulting the Juppon-Gattana member 'Hae***' Hennya!"
(*actually, Yahiko WASN'T the one who stayed with Kenshin the longest. It's Kaoru; but I guess it sort of slipped his mind…right? ^^;
**a pillow-dynamite is a pillow actually stuffed with gunpowder and other explosives…not on the market, of course^^; I made it up
***Hae means fly in Japanese, as a verb. This could be right, could be wrong. I have the Chinese version of the manga, and Fae-Shion just doesn't sound right. So I looked in my dictionary and came up with hae. Izzit right? Or izzit wrong? I wouldn't know unless you review and tell me!)
Hennya then plucked out a lit dynamite.
"!!" Yahiko went angry-SD once again, "What are you?! You just said that you'll 'make me regret insulting you', then you pop up with this friggin' trick! You're just blustering your lips off then! Saying it doesn't mean doing it!"
"Damare! Did I say I'll kill you with one hit?" Hennya dropped the pillow-dynamite. "I'll tell you," there was a huge explosion, and Yahiko was knocked off his feet.
"Owch!" Yahiko sprawled to the ground. He looked upwards—
"This thing is for THIS kind of use!" Hennya was off the ground, flying above Yahiko.
"This is the Juppon-Gattana 'Hae' Hennya's battle strategy, 'Tobimas Sora Kowashimas*'! No matter how skilled you are at your style, the top of your head is the most vulnerable to any human! There's absolutely no way that you can repel my attacks!"
With each hand he flicked out two pillow-dynamites and threw them to Yahiko.
Yahiko tried to run from the explosion, and it worked—almost. The dynamite also exploded on several of the army of men surrounding the Aoiya, resulting in several shrieks and Kamatari's voice—
"GYYYAH! That burns!!!" He screamed as he tried to shake the flame from his glove, "Can you please be more careful???"
Yahiko glowered at Hennya disbelievingly, "You bastard…even if you don't care about that psycho crossdresser—" ("WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!") "—but you oughta have some respect for your men!"
"Little guy do big things***, perhaps you've heard of it?" Hennya said from directly above Yahiko's head. He had one pillow-knife** attached to his left arm, and thus he slashed out at Yahiko across the back.
"Dammit!" Yahiko cursed, and swung out at Hennya with his pillow, but the bat-man had swooshed off once again.
Hennya dropped another pillow-dynamite, and it almost hit Yahiko too.
He shrunk his weight to nothing but bones, then he used the wind and the wings to help him levitate in the wind and freely attack from above! Kaoru thought furiously in her head, "Yahiko!" At this rate, Yahiko can't defeat him!
"If you turn your back to me, be careful I slash you in half!" Kamatari smiled from behind Kaoru. "You can scream your lungs out, but in the end you're all gonna die anyway, so why not let him suffer less?"
"Liar!" Misao snapped, and threw four of her kunai at Kamatari.
He caught them all in his hand without harming himself.
Misao's eyes widened. "!!"
Kamatari turned to face the girl, "If you want to come then why don't you both come at once? It'd save a lot of trouble and I did offer to fight two-to-one."
"Freakin' bastard!" Yahiko spat, dodging dynamites. He can see my every move; the top of my head, my every move…if he continues to control the skies, I can never do any damage! But—if the sky I control is higher than his… "That stinkin' bat, I bet no one ever did anything to him while in the air, well, in that case… maybe an aerial attack from above would send him tumbling back into the bat cave he crawled out of." Yahiko clenched his fist. "If it was Kenshin, maybe he could use the current of the wind to jump higher than him. But, no matter how light I am, I can't do it in my present state. If I had something like his wings—no, it doesn't have to be a wing, any substitution would be fine!—glack!" Another bomb had exploded beside his feet, sending him slamming against the wall.
"Alright." Hennya said, "My dynamites are decreasing, now I'll just use this, and everything would be finished." He held up a bundle of pillow-dynamites tied together.
Yahiko gasped.
"Stop fighting, Yahiko!" Okina yelled from his perch on the balcony. "Hurry back into the Aoiya!"
Run? Yahiko thought briefly. Who are you kidding! I haven't even made a cut on him! My reason for staying here is in case anything like this ever happened. Even if I can't jump as high as Kenshin, can't knock this guy out with one hit—I still can't just run like this!!! "AGH—"
The explosion was deafening, and it blew the bottom half of the Aoiya where Yahiko was standing to smithereens.
Hennya floated overhead, "Hn! Poor kid. My Tobimas Sora Kowashimas is invincible. He shoulda known better. Hm…I'll use the remainder of the dynamites to blast you guys to hell then."
Kaoru was staring up past Hennya with an incredulous expression. "Yahiko…"
Hennya seemed confused. "!?"
"Got it."
Yahiko was poised on an enflamed door that towered over Hennya in the sky, his pillow in position.
"That brat—" Hennya whirled around, "He used the door as a wing—"
"AGHHHH!!!" Yahiko screamed, and whammed his pillow on Hennya's head. Imitation—Dragon Hammer Sen!****
Hennya's eyes whited out and he fell to the ground, KOed.
"Yatta!" Misao cheered, still a bit unsteady.
"Imitation…" Okina said disbelievingly, "training every day, plus listening and watching Himura's battles…it increased his battle skills by at least three…"
Kaoru was shocked. I never thought…day by day, he already learned Kenshin's trick, the Dragon Hammer Sen…
"Dammit! That hurted! I never thought about the landing part!" Yahiko grumbled, rubbing his head.
This child…is really getting stronger!"I knew it…" Yahiko grinned rather forcibly, "It wasn't as good as Kenshin's."
(*Tobimas Sora Kowashimas means Flying Sky Break—it's the closest I can come to the meaning in the Chinese manga ^^;
**pillow-knife: a pillow with an extremely sharp razor-like edge to it
***little guys do big things is a saying that means that even one little soldier can alter one big war, I suppose
****okay…I'll admit it. I don't knoe much of Kenshin's attack in Japanese. All I knoe is the Sen… and the few attacks I learned is like Kuzu Ryu Sen, Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki, and suchies, but datz all, and so, literally the thing means Dragon Hammer Flash, so I just used the Sen for the sake of it. Me0w.)
A/n- this is the re-uploaded version cuz I forgot a few tidbits in the first one—I forgot to change Yahiko's kendo stick to a pillow, and I forgot to do the "footnotes". So…yeah. Gomen, gomen!
Yosha! It's doneeeee!!! Ooh and this fic is nominated in the Parody/Omake section in RKRC!!! Yayyyy!!! Karina Kineshi's Baby's Got Back, Much Back! is also nominated and I love that ficcy too! *_* made me laugh OUT LOUD every time I read it. Awesome fic, go check it out!!!
Uhmmm…I dink that's all. Sorry this took so long! Oh and the next chapter ish Kamatari vs. Kaoru&Misao! Yay! I can't wait to do my honey's appearance! (Errrr…I like Kamatari, so what? ^_^;)
Later dayz!
CyberSerpent .~