Category: CJ/Toby
Summary: They have loved each other for almost twenty years. Still there's something keeping them from getting together.
Warning: I have a thing here that a man goes in to a school with a gun and kill kids and teachers, and I know there has been some of that in the US and some other countries. It's not a big thing, though, but I just wanted to warn you.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.
Part 1
CJ threw up her feet on the table and leaned her head back against the couch. She took a deep breath as she was starting to rub her temples with her eyes closed.
"Tough day?"
CJ opened her eyes and saw Toby leaning against the doorframe. CJ didn't say anything, her eyes gave him the answer. He stepped into her office and sat down next to her.
"Turn around." He said.
She did as she was told and Toby started massaging her neck. It was quiet for a couple of minutes.
"Sometimes this job really sucks." CJ suddenly said.
Toby didn't answer.
"I just don't understand," CJ continued. "What kind of human being goes into a school and just start to... shoot everybody he can see."
CJ's voice became lower and she looked down at her hands that rested on her knee.
"13 kids, Toby. 13 kids and 7 teachers. 13 fathers and 13 mothers lost their child today. 7 husbands or wives lost their partner today. I don't even dare to think of how many kids that lost their parent."
CJ didn't say anything more. She leaned her head down and put her hand over her eyes. Toby knew she was crying, even though she wasn't actually sobbing. CJ never sobbed, she always cried quietly with only a few tears falling down her cheeks.
"CJ." Toby whispered and stopped rubbing her neck.
He turned her around and pulled her in for a hug. He held her in his embrace for, well, neither of them know how long, but when he let go CJ's tears had stopped.
"Thanks," she said.
"It's nothing to say 'thanks' for," Toby said. "Do you need a ride home?"
"I have my own car."
"I know that, but I don't want you to drive tonight."
CJ nodded and they left the White House.
* * * * *
CJ lay on her bed 30 minutes later. She hadn't had dinner that day, but eating didn't feel important on a day like today. She had been running around in the White House like crazy the entire day. From the Oval Office to Leo's office. From Leo's office to hers. From her office to the Press Room, which was the hardest place to be in. When she finally could calm down in her office at 9 p.m. he had shown up. Of course, why wouldn't he? He had always been there for her, as long as she had known him. It didn't matter what had happened, he was always there. Some times there were problems that didn't really seem like problems when compared with days like today. But always on days like today she couldn't help thinking about how much she loved him. And not only as her best friend. She had known it for a long time, for years. She also knew that he felt the same about her. She didn't know who had discovered it first, maybe it always had been there, from their first meeting. What she didn't know was why they never crossed the line.
* * * * *
Toby poured up his second glass of scotch. He was tired and upset. It had been a hard day. He was glad though, that he and CJ had got some time together that day. Those who didn't know them would probably say that Toby had comforted CJ earlier in her office, but both of them knew better. Toby didn't say anything, nor did he cry, when things like the shooting happened.
He was just quiet, burying his anger, and CJ knew it. CJ knew that by talking to him about it, it would help him as well. If he couldn't find the words himself, it felt good to hear them from someone else. And who could be better to hear them from than CJ? He loved her, more than anything on this planet. He had always loved her, since the day they met at a party when they were in their twenties. Hell, he had loved her when he was married to Andi. But they had always just stayed friends, why he didn't know. He knew that she loved him as well.
* * * * *
The next day CJ and Toby had lunch together in the mess. CJ took a bite of her sandwich and grimaced.
"This reminds me why I so rarely eat here," she said as Toby smiled.
"Are you feeling better today?" He asked her.
"A little, maybe. I'm still thinking about it every second, though. I still don't understand, Toby. They were innocent children."
Toby took her hand over the table to calm her down. He stroked the back of her hand with his fingers and she did calm down. She smiled slightly at him. They didn't notice that Sam and Josh approached them.
"Well, isn't this cozy?" Josh said teasingly and sat down next to CJ.
Toby quickly let go of her hand and suddenly found his plate very interesting. Sam sat down next to him with a huge grin.
"Oh, shut up!" CJ said and they all knew it was end of discussion.
During lunch they talked about everything, everything except what had happened yesterday morning. They all knew, that after lunch, they would all have to go into Leo's office and talk about it. But now, it was lunchtime.
* * * * *
Luckily, nothing else important happened that week, and on Friday night CJ sat down on her couch. She didn't think about what had happened Monday morning so much anymore. It still crossed her mind every now and then, but every time it did, she told herself to be professional, and she was. She and Toby had spent a lot of time together these last couple of days, which scared her. As much as she loved him and loved being with him, it still scared her.
She felt that they were getting too close, so she had asked Danny Concannon to have drinks with her later tonight.
"Hey."
She looked up and there he was again, leaning against her doorframe. He smiled shyly at her and suddenly she was ashamed. She knew what he was doing there and she knew that she would hurt him within a minute.
"Hi," she said trying to sound casual. "What's up?"
"Nothing. What are you going to do now?"
CJ played with the thought of making something up, but she knew he'd find out later anyway, somehow.
"I'm having drinks with Danny Concannon," she said walking over to her desk so her back faced him.
"Oh. Fun," he said.
Anyone who didn't know Toby the way CJ did, would think he actually thought it was fun. But CJ recognized the hurt and embarrassment in his voice. She quickly turned around and he had begun to walk away.
"Toby!" She almost yelled and he slowly turned around.
She didn't know what to say. She knew what she wanted to say, but somehow she couldn't.
"Just don't let the President find out about it," Toby said and turned around, walking away.
CJ looked after him, and having drinks with Danny Concannon suddenly felt like a very bad idea. Still, she knew she would go. She would go and do her thing. She would laugh at his bad jokes, she would play interested when he talked, and then she would probably go home to him and spend the night. She never took them to her apartment. There was only one man she would let into her apartment. The man she just had pushed away, without knowing why.
Tbc. Please review.
Summary: They have loved each other for almost twenty years. Still there's something keeping them from getting together.
Warning: I have a thing here that a man goes in to a school with a gun and kill kids and teachers, and I know there has been some of that in the US and some other countries. It's not a big thing, though, but I just wanted to warn you.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.
Part 1
CJ threw up her feet on the table and leaned her head back against the couch. She took a deep breath as she was starting to rub her temples with her eyes closed.
"Tough day?"
CJ opened her eyes and saw Toby leaning against the doorframe. CJ didn't say anything, her eyes gave him the answer. He stepped into her office and sat down next to her.
"Turn around." He said.
She did as she was told and Toby started massaging her neck. It was quiet for a couple of minutes.
"Sometimes this job really sucks." CJ suddenly said.
Toby didn't answer.
"I just don't understand," CJ continued. "What kind of human being goes into a school and just start to... shoot everybody he can see."
CJ's voice became lower and she looked down at her hands that rested on her knee.
"13 kids, Toby. 13 kids and 7 teachers. 13 fathers and 13 mothers lost their child today. 7 husbands or wives lost their partner today. I don't even dare to think of how many kids that lost their parent."
CJ didn't say anything more. She leaned her head down and put her hand over her eyes. Toby knew she was crying, even though she wasn't actually sobbing. CJ never sobbed, she always cried quietly with only a few tears falling down her cheeks.
"CJ." Toby whispered and stopped rubbing her neck.
He turned her around and pulled her in for a hug. He held her in his embrace for, well, neither of them know how long, but when he let go CJ's tears had stopped.
"Thanks," she said.
"It's nothing to say 'thanks' for," Toby said. "Do you need a ride home?"
"I have my own car."
"I know that, but I don't want you to drive tonight."
CJ nodded and they left the White House.
* * * * *
CJ lay on her bed 30 minutes later. She hadn't had dinner that day, but eating didn't feel important on a day like today. She had been running around in the White House like crazy the entire day. From the Oval Office to Leo's office. From Leo's office to hers. From her office to the Press Room, which was the hardest place to be in. When she finally could calm down in her office at 9 p.m. he had shown up. Of course, why wouldn't he? He had always been there for her, as long as she had known him. It didn't matter what had happened, he was always there. Some times there were problems that didn't really seem like problems when compared with days like today. But always on days like today she couldn't help thinking about how much she loved him. And not only as her best friend. She had known it for a long time, for years. She also knew that he felt the same about her. She didn't know who had discovered it first, maybe it always had been there, from their first meeting. What she didn't know was why they never crossed the line.
* * * * *
Toby poured up his second glass of scotch. He was tired and upset. It had been a hard day. He was glad though, that he and CJ had got some time together that day. Those who didn't know them would probably say that Toby had comforted CJ earlier in her office, but both of them knew better. Toby didn't say anything, nor did he cry, when things like the shooting happened.
He was just quiet, burying his anger, and CJ knew it. CJ knew that by talking to him about it, it would help him as well. If he couldn't find the words himself, it felt good to hear them from someone else. And who could be better to hear them from than CJ? He loved her, more than anything on this planet. He had always loved her, since the day they met at a party when they were in their twenties. Hell, he had loved her when he was married to Andi. But they had always just stayed friends, why he didn't know. He knew that she loved him as well.
* * * * *
The next day CJ and Toby had lunch together in the mess. CJ took a bite of her sandwich and grimaced.
"This reminds me why I so rarely eat here," she said as Toby smiled.
"Are you feeling better today?" He asked her.
"A little, maybe. I'm still thinking about it every second, though. I still don't understand, Toby. They were innocent children."
Toby took her hand over the table to calm her down. He stroked the back of her hand with his fingers and she did calm down. She smiled slightly at him. They didn't notice that Sam and Josh approached them.
"Well, isn't this cozy?" Josh said teasingly and sat down next to CJ.
Toby quickly let go of her hand and suddenly found his plate very interesting. Sam sat down next to him with a huge grin.
"Oh, shut up!" CJ said and they all knew it was end of discussion.
During lunch they talked about everything, everything except what had happened yesterday morning. They all knew, that after lunch, they would all have to go into Leo's office and talk about it. But now, it was lunchtime.
* * * * *
Luckily, nothing else important happened that week, and on Friday night CJ sat down on her couch. She didn't think about what had happened Monday morning so much anymore. It still crossed her mind every now and then, but every time it did, she told herself to be professional, and she was. She and Toby had spent a lot of time together these last couple of days, which scared her. As much as she loved him and loved being with him, it still scared her.
She felt that they were getting too close, so she had asked Danny Concannon to have drinks with her later tonight.
"Hey."
She looked up and there he was again, leaning against her doorframe. He smiled shyly at her and suddenly she was ashamed. She knew what he was doing there and she knew that she would hurt him within a minute.
"Hi," she said trying to sound casual. "What's up?"
"Nothing. What are you going to do now?"
CJ played with the thought of making something up, but she knew he'd find out later anyway, somehow.
"I'm having drinks with Danny Concannon," she said walking over to her desk so her back faced him.
"Oh. Fun," he said.
Anyone who didn't know Toby the way CJ did, would think he actually thought it was fun. But CJ recognized the hurt and embarrassment in his voice. She quickly turned around and he had begun to walk away.
"Toby!" She almost yelled and he slowly turned around.
She didn't know what to say. She knew what she wanted to say, but somehow she couldn't.
"Just don't let the President find out about it," Toby said and turned around, walking away.
CJ looked after him, and having drinks with Danny Concannon suddenly felt like a very bad idea. Still, she knew she would go. She would go and do her thing. She would laugh at his bad jokes, she would play interested when he talked, and then she would probably go home to him and spend the night. She never took them to her apartment. There was only one man she would let into her apartment. The man she just had pushed away, without knowing why.
Tbc. Please review.