Part 4
"CJ, Danny is here," Carol said over the intercom.
"Could you please tell him I'm busy," CJ replied.
She hadn't been able to go to sleep after her conversation with Toby on the stairs in the middle of the night. It wasn't the first time they said that they loved each other. She wondered what was so damn complicated, as Toby had expressed it. They had loved each other for almost twenty years. Still, nothing had ever happened between them.
She had lunch in her office. She didn't want to see anyone, which she knew was a huge problem if you worked as Press Secretary in the White House. There was a knock on the door.
"Come in," she yelled and sighed.
So much for telling Carol she wanted to be alone. It was Toby.
"Oh, I see that you're eating," he mumbled. "I was thinking that we could have gone somewhere."
CJ didn't say anything. Toby sat down in the couch picking up a magazine.
"Do you want the rest of it?" CJ asked.
"What is it?"
"Salad." When he sighed, she filled in "With chicken."
He couldn't help smiling at her, even though it wasn't funny. She sat down next to him handing him the plate and the fork. She watched him eat.
"You know that really freaks me out."
"Why do you think I'm doing it?" She grinned.
It was quiet for a moment again.
"Toby, I want to know what's so complicated," she suddenly said quietly.
Toby stopped eating, he put the plate on the table and looked at her.
"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Every time I'm thinking of us, you and me together, it's just... It seems like a very bad idea."
"What? What would be so bad about it?" CJ asked trying to not get upset.
"You're my best friend and I like you. I don't want to end up hating you and I don't want you to end up hating me, which you will if we get together. I know that things look civil when I see Andie, but... CJ, I'm a complicated man to be with."
"I've known you for almost twenty years. Don't you think I know that?" CJ smiled slightly. It was quiet again. When CJ realized what he actually was saying she couldn't help that tears ran down her cheeks. Toby gently tried to wipe them away, but CJ turned her head away from him.
"So, you're telling me that nothing can ever happen between us?" she said quietly.
"I guess I am," he said.
"I want to be alone."
Toby nodded and walked towards the door.
"You know, you stop me from being happy with someone else," she said bitterly.
"I know, and I'm sorry about that."
"You should never have come to California and brought me on the campaign."
When Toby had closed the door after him, CJ walked over to the phone.
"Hey, Danny. It's CJ. Same place tonight?"
* * * * *
"CJ, are you okay?"
"I just threw up in the bathroom. Do you think I'm okay?" CJ asked sarcastically starting to put on her clothes.
Danny watched her do so silently.
"I'll see you tomorrow." She was already heading towards the door.
When CJ was standing outside the hotel waiting for a cab she heard someone call out her name. She turned around.
"Sam, what are you doing here?"
"I've had dinner with Mike Johnson."
"Oh yeah, so how did it go?"
"I think it went well. Anyway, what are you doing here?"
"Um, I had..."
Sam suddenly found something behind her back interesting. She turned around and saw Danny approaching them.
"Hey Sam, hey CJ." He tried to sound casual.
"Danny." Sam looked at both of them for a short while and then he realized.
"Oh, here's my cab." CJ quickly jumped in the car and gave the driver her address.
* * * * *
"You were seeing Danny?" Sam closed the door to his office.
"Yes, I was Sam. Could you please not tell anyone?"
"CJ... I didn't even think you liked the guy!"
"I don't! I even threw up after we..." She stopped talking, knowing she had given to much information.
"Then, why are you seeing him?" Sam suddenly looked concerned.
Sam quickly walked over to the windows and closed the blinds when he noticed that tears were streaming down her cheeks. Then he sat down next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"CJ, what's the matter?" he asked concerned.
"It's just... Why does it have to hurt so much?"
"What, CJ?"
CJ didn't say anything more, choking on her tears. Sam embraced her and let her cry against his shoulder.
"Sam..." Toby stopped in the door when he noticed that CJ was crying in Sam's arms.
Sam and Toby exchanged a look. Toby left and closed the door.
* * * * *
Toby was on his way to the afternoon staff meeting in Leo's office. It was going to be a hard meeting. Not because Leo could have bad news, but because he would have to face CJ, knowing that he was the reason she cried in Sam's office earlier that day.
"Where's Sam and Josh?" Leo was obviously not in a good mood.
"I don't know, Leo," Toby said.
Leo groaned and left. Toby sat down in the couch next to CJ. She refused to look at him. He gently stroked the back of her hand. She let him do so for a few seconds before pulling away.
"How are you?" he asked softly.
"What do you care?" she asked harshly.
She turned to face him and Toby almost moved away from her when he saw her face. She was red around her eyes and anyone could see that she had been crying.
Josh, Sam and Leo entered the room and sat down in the chairs. When Josh saw CJ he opened his mouth but Sam put his hand over his arm to stop him. But Sam had forgotten about Leo.
"CJ, are you alright?"
"Yes."
"But you look like you've been crying."
"I haven't."
Leo knew she was lying, but decided to leave it.
After the meeting he asked Toby to stay.
"Do you know what's the matter with CJ?"
"No," he lied.
* * * * *
CJ was dancing with Sam and she actually enjoined it. She had been talking with Sam a lot lately about Toby and he had sworn to not tell anyone.
"Sam, I want to thank you for everything that you've done for me last week. You've been a great support to me."
"I'm just happy I could help." He started to grin.
"What?" She smiled suspiciously at him.
"I'm going to introduce you to someone after this dance."
* * * * *
Toby was standing in the bar looking at CJ and Sam dancing together. It shouldn't bother him, but it did. He was happy to see her smile, though. He was happy to see her laugh again after what he had done to her. The song ended and Toby was relieved when Sam led CJ off the dance-floor. He followed them with his eyes. They were walking over to a group of tall good- looking men, probably all doctors. After all, this was a party for those who volunteered at hospitals in the poor neighborhoods. When CJ shock hands with a tall guy, with blonde hair and a dazzling smile he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.
* * * * *
"I'm Eric Brooks."
"Nice to meet you, Eric." CJ gave him her best smile. "My name is..."
"CJ Cregg," he interrupted. "The beautiful Press Secretary. Did you really think I would have missed you?"
CJ blushed and smiled.
"You're making me blush," she said and they laughed. "So, are you one of the doctors'?"
"Yes, I am."
"Do you work somewhere else also?"
"No, I'm there full time. I inherited a lot of money when my parents died when I was a kid."
"Oh, I'm so sorry. What happened?"
"Car-accident. Anyway, I have enough money to make it without having a real job."
CJ liked him. And when he asked her to dance she said yes immediately. While they were dancing she noticed that Toby was starring at them. She quickly looked away.
TBC.
"CJ, Danny is here," Carol said over the intercom.
"Could you please tell him I'm busy," CJ replied.
She hadn't been able to go to sleep after her conversation with Toby on the stairs in the middle of the night. It wasn't the first time they said that they loved each other. She wondered what was so damn complicated, as Toby had expressed it. They had loved each other for almost twenty years. Still, nothing had ever happened between them.
She had lunch in her office. She didn't want to see anyone, which she knew was a huge problem if you worked as Press Secretary in the White House. There was a knock on the door.
"Come in," she yelled and sighed.
So much for telling Carol she wanted to be alone. It was Toby.
"Oh, I see that you're eating," he mumbled. "I was thinking that we could have gone somewhere."
CJ didn't say anything. Toby sat down in the couch picking up a magazine.
"Do you want the rest of it?" CJ asked.
"What is it?"
"Salad." When he sighed, she filled in "With chicken."
He couldn't help smiling at her, even though it wasn't funny. She sat down next to him handing him the plate and the fork. She watched him eat.
"You know that really freaks me out."
"Why do you think I'm doing it?" She grinned.
It was quiet for a moment again.
"Toby, I want to know what's so complicated," she suddenly said quietly.
Toby stopped eating, he put the plate on the table and looked at her.
"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Every time I'm thinking of us, you and me together, it's just... It seems like a very bad idea."
"What? What would be so bad about it?" CJ asked trying to not get upset.
"You're my best friend and I like you. I don't want to end up hating you and I don't want you to end up hating me, which you will if we get together. I know that things look civil when I see Andie, but... CJ, I'm a complicated man to be with."
"I've known you for almost twenty years. Don't you think I know that?" CJ smiled slightly. It was quiet again. When CJ realized what he actually was saying she couldn't help that tears ran down her cheeks. Toby gently tried to wipe them away, but CJ turned her head away from him.
"So, you're telling me that nothing can ever happen between us?" she said quietly.
"I guess I am," he said.
"I want to be alone."
Toby nodded and walked towards the door.
"You know, you stop me from being happy with someone else," she said bitterly.
"I know, and I'm sorry about that."
"You should never have come to California and brought me on the campaign."
When Toby had closed the door after him, CJ walked over to the phone.
"Hey, Danny. It's CJ. Same place tonight?"
* * * * *
"CJ, are you okay?"
"I just threw up in the bathroom. Do you think I'm okay?" CJ asked sarcastically starting to put on her clothes.
Danny watched her do so silently.
"I'll see you tomorrow." She was already heading towards the door.
When CJ was standing outside the hotel waiting for a cab she heard someone call out her name. She turned around.
"Sam, what are you doing here?"
"I've had dinner with Mike Johnson."
"Oh yeah, so how did it go?"
"I think it went well. Anyway, what are you doing here?"
"Um, I had..."
Sam suddenly found something behind her back interesting. She turned around and saw Danny approaching them.
"Hey Sam, hey CJ." He tried to sound casual.
"Danny." Sam looked at both of them for a short while and then he realized.
"Oh, here's my cab." CJ quickly jumped in the car and gave the driver her address.
* * * * *
"You were seeing Danny?" Sam closed the door to his office.
"Yes, I was Sam. Could you please not tell anyone?"
"CJ... I didn't even think you liked the guy!"
"I don't! I even threw up after we..." She stopped talking, knowing she had given to much information.
"Then, why are you seeing him?" Sam suddenly looked concerned.
Sam quickly walked over to the windows and closed the blinds when he noticed that tears were streaming down her cheeks. Then he sat down next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"CJ, what's the matter?" he asked concerned.
"It's just... Why does it have to hurt so much?"
"What, CJ?"
CJ didn't say anything more, choking on her tears. Sam embraced her and let her cry against his shoulder.
"Sam..." Toby stopped in the door when he noticed that CJ was crying in Sam's arms.
Sam and Toby exchanged a look. Toby left and closed the door.
* * * * *
Toby was on his way to the afternoon staff meeting in Leo's office. It was going to be a hard meeting. Not because Leo could have bad news, but because he would have to face CJ, knowing that he was the reason she cried in Sam's office earlier that day.
"Where's Sam and Josh?" Leo was obviously not in a good mood.
"I don't know, Leo," Toby said.
Leo groaned and left. Toby sat down in the couch next to CJ. She refused to look at him. He gently stroked the back of her hand. She let him do so for a few seconds before pulling away.
"How are you?" he asked softly.
"What do you care?" she asked harshly.
She turned to face him and Toby almost moved away from her when he saw her face. She was red around her eyes and anyone could see that she had been crying.
Josh, Sam and Leo entered the room and sat down in the chairs. When Josh saw CJ he opened his mouth but Sam put his hand over his arm to stop him. But Sam had forgotten about Leo.
"CJ, are you alright?"
"Yes."
"But you look like you've been crying."
"I haven't."
Leo knew she was lying, but decided to leave it.
After the meeting he asked Toby to stay.
"Do you know what's the matter with CJ?"
"No," he lied.
* * * * *
CJ was dancing with Sam and she actually enjoined it. She had been talking with Sam a lot lately about Toby and he had sworn to not tell anyone.
"Sam, I want to thank you for everything that you've done for me last week. You've been a great support to me."
"I'm just happy I could help." He started to grin.
"What?" She smiled suspiciously at him.
"I'm going to introduce you to someone after this dance."
* * * * *
Toby was standing in the bar looking at CJ and Sam dancing together. It shouldn't bother him, but it did. He was happy to see her smile, though. He was happy to see her laugh again after what he had done to her. The song ended and Toby was relieved when Sam led CJ off the dance-floor. He followed them with his eyes. They were walking over to a group of tall good- looking men, probably all doctors. After all, this was a party for those who volunteered at hospitals in the poor neighborhoods. When CJ shock hands with a tall guy, with blonde hair and a dazzling smile he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.
* * * * *
"I'm Eric Brooks."
"Nice to meet you, Eric." CJ gave him her best smile. "My name is..."
"CJ Cregg," he interrupted. "The beautiful Press Secretary. Did you really think I would have missed you?"
CJ blushed and smiled.
"You're making me blush," she said and they laughed. "So, are you one of the doctors'?"
"Yes, I am."
"Do you work somewhere else also?"
"No, I'm there full time. I inherited a lot of money when my parents died when I was a kid."
"Oh, I'm so sorry. What happened?"
"Car-accident. Anyway, I have enough money to make it without having a real job."
CJ liked him. And when he asked her to dance she said yes immediately. While they were dancing she noticed that Toby was starring at them. She quickly looked away.
TBC.