Such naughty thoughts....

By Kes

Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount and other big people, alas, it doesn't belong to me, watching it is sad enough ;-) I would like to own it though, with all that money and all. Plus, it'd mean that I'd get Wesley Crusher, and an airlock. Please don't make me explain that one.... *evil grin* and I STILL don't like 'Wil with one L' (yes, I watched The Weakest Link... :-O Geordie has eyes!!!!) as he was hittin' on B'Elanna (aka Roxanne) I don't care if it was a joke, she's Toms (he he, I'm so sad..).

Summary: Did you ever wonder what Lwaxanna was talking about when she said that? Here's my two pence (as I'm a Brit, it ain't 2 cents).

~*~

Jean-Luc Picard cringed inwardly as he heard the news from Will. No six small words had ever had such an impact on his schedule. No, not 'Borg are attempting to assimilate us!' or 'Could you baby-sit for me Captain?'. These were worse.

Much worse....

"Deanna's mother is coming to stay."

He could see Will's half-benign attempt not to laugh hysterically, or to even crack a smile. Jean-Luc thought that he might even split a gut. Good. Let him.

He closed his eyes and braced himself. "How long?" "2 hours...." His eyes lit up. Only 2 hours to endure her! Yes, thank you! "....That is to say, you've got 2 hours to prepare yourself. She'll be staying for about 4 days." Several fragmented thoughts regarding Will, demotion, the brig, and perhaps an airlock, flitted into Picard's mind. He attempted to dismiss all of them.

And failed miserably.

"Thank you. Number one." He cocked an eyebrow and grinned inwardly. It was Will's only vice. He hated being called that. And that, after all, was why it was such fun.

It's not that he didn't like Deanna's mother. Well, okay, it was. But she was a telepath. Not that he was against telepaths. He quite liked them. The majority of them. The nice, quiet, sensitive ones. And he couldn't see how Deanna was related to her. Deanna was so....considerate.

Although He thought regrettably. Lwaxanna is the 'soul of discretion' She's never told anyone about my more....adventurous....thoughts. Thank god! My career in Starfleet would be over!

"I'll be in my quarters if you need me."

He didn't actually know why he was going to his quarters. Somewhere quiet and peaceful, with no psychotic, valium-pumped telepaths to intrude with his thoughts - for about two hours.

~*~

Deanna sighed. She loved her mother. She really did. But, she was so embarrassing. Every time she came onboard, Deanna would feel like a kid at parents evening. Complete with the embarrassing jokes - or in her mothers case, sexual innuendo - to her teachers/the captain.

No wonder she never got promoted.

But, at the same time, this is why she was still on the ship.

He was scared of her mother.

And I know why.

Deanna herself could pick up the heightened emotions and fragments of his more private thoughts, whereas her mother practically lived them herself.

She grinned.

Although, she had to hand it to her mother, even though, through years of probing, Lwaxanna had never told Deanna what he was thinking about....although she had a pretty good idea.

Or maybe it was just a coincidence that his....ideas....got suddenly stronger, and then would abruptly fade away whenever a certain red-head walked into the room....

Nah.

~*~

A/N: Soul of discretion quote is from Sense and Sensibility film. Which belongs to er....either Ang Lee (director) or Emma Thompson (Eleanor, and Screenplay writer). Also, it could have been in the book - can't remember. In which case, it obviously belongs to the funny (yes, the book really is funny) Jane Austen.

A/N2: Do you think I should carry this on? Or leave it as it is? R/R damnit!!!! ;-)