Forever

Slowly the deepblue color of the ocean is replaced by the golden shades of the setting sun. Little waves of water heave themselves shortly before they meet up with the beach and break on the soft sand. They retreat only to come back shortly after. Single birds are flying through the flaming sky, their chirping lightens up this quite and peaceful scenery. A scenery which hurts me deep inside. Another day is ending, another day on which I spent hours just sitting here on the beach staring into the distance. With the hope of seeing something, someone special materializing on the horizon. But once again my hope was shattered with the appearance of the first stars. My fingers lift themselves to my lips and I create a shrill whistle, loud enough to be heard even on the farest edge of this beach. Moments pass in which I wait for a response but nothing happens. No sign of reaction from anyone. I let my hand drop down onto the cold sand which seems to comfort me slightly. Tears are watering my eyes, blurring my view. The wish of crying out loud is nearly too strong to be suppressed. But if I cried now, letting out all my sorrow and pain, who would be there to comfort me? To take me in his arms and say it's alright? To simply hold me, wiping away my tears in process? No one would. And certainly not the person I'm waiting for since what seems like a lifetime. Him, the one who showed me the true happiness in ones life. Who taught me to trust in my very own thoughts and emotions. Who supported me even in the most difficult times of my pilgrimage which now seems so far away. And who gave me the most precious thing I ever experienced in my life. True love. Tidus.

A light sob escapes its prison and as a result tears start sliding down my cheeks. Words can never express how much I feel for him. So much love that it eats me up from inside. Love which I never showed to him, destiny just didn't grant me this chance. And even if I believe that the kisses which we shared in just one night told it all, I wish I could have said it out aloud. Not once, not twice, hundred of times in a row. But all wishing leads to nothing. The time he was by my side won't come back. All what's left are my memories of him, his smiling face, his carefree attitude. And the promise he made to me just a few days after we first met. A little smile appears on my face as I recall the happy memories, the days I shared with him. I'm holding onto them as if they are my lifeline, the only thing keeping my soul from breaking apart and dying a lonely death. And I know that I will die once I ever begin to forget you, Tidus.

Can you still remember what you promised me during the game in Luca, shortly before I continued my pilgrimage? When I whistle, you'll come running for me. That's what you said ... I tried for so long, you never came. But I believe that you'll come. Back to me. You always kept your promises, breaking them was against your nature. And whenever I was in danger you came running, ready to protect me from anything in the world, not caring about what could happen to you. My health mattered to you more than your own. At first I thought that this was only because of you being one of my guardians but slowly I began to realize that there was something more about it. Throughout the early days of my journey I shoved all the strange feelings building up within me aside. They seemingly had no place in my destiny. My destiny was to bring the Eternal Calm to Spira which also meant my death. I had been thinking that I was ready for this, that I understood what exactly I was heading for. But in truth I hadn't understood a single thing.

I had followed the path given to me blindly, not looking left or right or questioning something which seemed strange to me. I believed in what the rules told me and what the people told me. That I, the daughter of a great summoner, was the only one to fight Sin and bring back the Eternal Calm. And I lived up to that expectation without wondering. Until you came and started to question the world I was living in. Suddenly my own questions rose, questions in which I asked if what I was about to do was really the right thing to do. But even despite of these questions I still walked the path I was taken since the day I decided to become a summoner myself. You doubted that way greatly, especially after learning what would await me in the end but you supported me nonetheless. You would follow me to the very end of the world if it had to be. Because of the love you feel for me. A love which you showed so clearly on the night right after a horrible day at Bevelle. I had been turned into a traitor within a short time and no longer knew what to do. The urge to give up on my pilgrimage was just so strong but the responsibility I felt towards Spira's people was strong as well. Your words couldn't seem to comfort me either but something other did. The kisses we shared broke through my sadness, making me feel happy and free.

I guess I had never truely smiled until that moments at the Sea of Macalania. And it was only because of you. I continued my journey back then, with your everlasting support and belief that we would find another way. Which we actually found but that way turned out to be just as painful as the original one. Even if we could destroy Sin for good, it also meant that you had to leave along with him. You never told me, kept it a secret instead. Even though, deep inside of me I somehow had seen it coming. I just never wanted to believe it. Why should I give up the love I had found? Why giving up on happiness which just started to develope? Such questions never lead you anywhere, that's what I learned back then. You truely had to go, a fact I couldn't except. It may sound selfish but I wanted you to be by my side forever. And when I wanted to tell you my feelings, to show them to you, you started to disappeared. I couldn't hold you or even kiss you for a final time. The last thing I was given from you was the feeling of your soul meeting mine, your heart beating with mine for a short moment. And then you were gone.

You know, I was near to go after you. If it hadn't been for Kimahri I would've jumped as well. The tears I shed the same night could have easily filled an ocean. It took its time before I was strong enough to say your name or watch a Blitzball game without starting to sob. Don't think that I'm no longer sad over your disappearance, I still am but now I'm aching inside, not letting anyone see how I truely feel. I don't want them to feel as unhappy as me. I want all of them to be happy, to lead a peaceful life with their beloved ones. A life which I'll never be able to lead for as long as you aren't here. They all tell me constantly that I should move on instead of waiting for your return. You won't come back since you were nothing but a dream, that's what they all say. Tell me, can a simple dream feel so real? I felt your touch hundred of times, I heard your voice even more, I held you and kissed you. A dream can never awaken such feelings. It can never be the way you are. No matter what the whole world might think, I'll wait for you. Until the day I die if it has to be. No one will ever be able to make me feel the way you do. I can never love someone else. You think the same, don't you? I could feel it when our souls met, the whole potential of your feelings for me. And the silent promise to come back to me. That alone makes me strong enough to wait, to go through all the days of loneliness. You will come back to me.

A chilly wind dances over the beach and I have to blink several times before I notice that the sun has long set. Stars are blinking on the dark sky, one brighter than the other. Focusing my view upon them I notice one glowing up greatly before leaving its position and falling down with a trace of silver behind it. Absently, I wipe the last drying tears of my face. I never was a girl to wish upon a shooting star but since my journey I think otherwise. A silent prayer is send towards the glittering starry sky. The wish for you to come back to me as soon as possible. I need you to make my life complete. Without you I don't know how long I can continue to exist. Every beat of my heart hurts just so much without yours to beat in the same pace. I'm longing for you and your love which shines so clearly in your blue eyes. Our love is too precious to be ended before it even really started. It's too sweet, too pure even. But I shouldn't fear. I know that our love will last forever and I'll wait for you forever more. Let it be an eternity, my hope will never fade. I love you, endlessly.

Authors notes:

The edited version with more paragraphs. Upon reading the story after such a long time I realized that it's really easier to read this story with more paragraphs in the middle section. This story obviously takes part before Final Fantasy X-2 and even before Rikku found that sphere showing Tidus lookalike Shuyin. I think, even though Yuna appears to be so strong, she's a quite sensitive person who cares for others more than for herself. Meaning she rather bottles up her own emotions instead of letting them out. Tidus was the first to make her realize that she should listen to her own feelings. But as self-conscious as she might be after the defeat of Yevon, her feelings for Tidus are unspoken most of the time. Maybe those feelings and memories are too precious for her or she's just afraid of her friends saying that she should finally move on. I guess it's a little of both.