Author's Note: This is all I have done, and dear God did it take forever. I'm posting to be rid of it. Hopefully, it won't be too long until the next part, because my real life actually isn't important, no matter what those around me may say.
*
Rory slid into the diner through a crack in the door. Jess smiled at her, and went back to scribbling on his pad. Luke was behind the counter, and hadn't seen her yet. She would have preferred to keep it that way, but she knew she couldn't. She had to deal with it.
She forced herself to continue breathing, and made her way to the counter. Luke stilled as she approached, and watched her come.
Unable to meet his eyes, she spoke to his nose. "Hey, Luke."
A moment's pause. "Rory."
And the worst thing was that she didn't know what to expect; didn't know if he was going to start screaming at her in front of the whole room; didn't know if he was going to tell Jess and force her to confront what she had done. She didn't want to do that.
"Did you want something?" That was unexpected, and her eyes flickered to his for a second before dropping again. "Your usual?"
"Yeah. Thanks." Her voice was strained and hoarse even though she hadn't been crying.
Luke grunted. "Jess should be able to join you soon."
He turned away to another customer; dazed, she felt her way to an empty table.
Once she was sitting down, she felt her entire body slump in relief, limbs turning liquid. Aware that she was rocking slightly, she leant against the wall to steady herself. She still had to face Jess and Tristan and she didn't know what she was going to do, or what Luke was going to do, but it was over, and it hadn't been nearly as bad as she had expected.
The tension was succeeded by mild nausea. Rory had been feeling ill all day. She had to take the second pill in an hour and a half. She tried to remember if it would get worse once she had.
She felt utterly helpless and unable to deal with anything, knew she was being ridiculous and it was her own fault, and couldn't do a thing about it.
It wasn't long before Jess brought her food, but he had to keep working. Rory picked at her hamburger and waited for the flow of customers to trickle off. She kept checking her watch. She wanted to leave.
When Jess finally came to join her she straightened in greeting, and found a smile for him. He leaned across the table and grabbed a handful of fries, grinning mischievously at her. She didn't mind; she hadn't planned on eating them. She reached for her water as a distraction.
"So, what'd you do today?"
It was sheer force of will that prevented her from choking on her mouthful. She swallowed, and tried to work the trick twice, and keep her voice from squeaking. She couldn't. "Do today?"
"Yeah. Did you see Lane? Did her surprise have the desired effect?" His forehead creased. "Whatever that may have been, because I have to tell you, I really don't understand that girl… Rory?"
"Mm?"
"Did you see Lane?"
"Oh, no. I met up with a girl from school. Ended up spending most of the day with her. You?"
"Nothing interesting. You didn't talk to Lane at all?"
He was frowning. She hadn't talked to Lane at all, and she realised for the first time that she was going to need a reason for that. Lane was going to be upset.
"No. The girl was in a bit of trouble, and it just slipped my mind."
She could feel Luke staring over at them. Her head turned of its own accord. He turned away when she met his eyes. She had never seen him look so empty.
"Oh, I get it. What kind of trouble?"
Her mind was a void; all she could remember were her own terrors. She couldn't speak them, but she couldn't think of anything else. "Girl stuff. You know, trouble with her boyfriend."
"Have we met?"
"No. It's not -- it's nothing serious. It's not irreparable."
Jess smiled. "I'm glad."
"Me too. She was -- it's affected me a bit. I'm sorry if I'm not very good company tonight."
He leaned across the table and grabbed her hand. "Hey. Are you okay?" There was a faint crease between his eyebrows. She stared at it, memorised it frantically, and wanted to cry. "Is this girl all -- is she pregnant?" She was having a heart attack, or palpitations, or maybe just snapping. "Or getting beaten…" He trailed off when he saw her expression. "Pregnant."
Rory swallowed, and wondered why numbness hurt. "Not anymore."
"Oh. Oh, Rory, I'm-- Were you with her? Today?"
"No. It wasn't today. But she was upset." She was weaving lies from half-truths, and maybe this would come right. Maybe she could pretend, and they could tell each other stories, and imagine themselves a happy ending. But Jess wasn't playing her games.
"Rory. I don't know what to say. She'll-- She will get over it. She won't always be unhappy."
"I know. I know she'll be fine. It's just all been a little traumatising. It was unexpected. I never thought it of her."
"It's not a bad thing. To see a less than perfect side of people. You shouldn't think less of her." He paused. "Was it that girl from last night?"
Rory's eyes came up sharply, seeking out his for the first time since the conversation started. "What?"
"The girl with Tristan. Kristin--"
"Crystal." Without thought, and why had she started this, how had she gotten into this?
"Right. You don't like any of the girls at Chilton and I know how close you are to him, so I just thought… I'm right, aren't I?"
And this shouldn't hurt, because she wasn't talking about herself, and Jess would never know that there was any way that it could have been the truth. And she wanted him to comfort her and tell her it was all right, and he never would. She shook her head abruptly, gaze dropping to her clenched hands.
"No. No, you're not." She doubted he was convinced, and there was no reason he should be; she had been lying to him with every word she uttered. Had been lying to him since long before this night. She had a few minutes before she had to leave, but she couldn't stay. "Jess, I'm sorry, I'm feeling a bit worn out. I think I'll just…"
She risked a glance. He looked puzzled, and a little hurt, but mostly just worried. "Of course. I understand."
"Thanks."
Her smile floundered. She gathered up her things and they made their way to the door. Jess pecked her on the cheek on the sidewalk in front of the diner.
"I'll call you tomorrow. Things won't seem so important then."
"Yeah. I'll talk to you then." She walked away quickly.
A light wind had been whisking all day. It was sultry, adding to the heat, but she didn't mind; it was soft, too, caressing and cradling her. She was sorry when the walk home was over.
Her mother was waiting.
Lorelai's eyebrows shot up when she saw Rory. "You look snagged."
"Thanks, Mom."
"Didn't you sleep through the afternoon?"
"Yeah."
Rory headed straight for the stairs. Sleep, first, then she could deal with this.
"Hey, Rory."
She sighed, and turned. "Yeah?"
"Why does Tristan keep calling?"
"Because he learns by rote, obviously. Keep repeating yourself; he'll get the message eventually."
"He wants you to call him back."
Rory knew that. She didn't want to. She smiled. "I'll call him back tomorrow."
Lorelai looked troubled. "And you'll talk to me tomorrow, right?"
Not if she could help it. Not really. "Absolutely."
"All right. Goodnight."
Finally, finally, she made it to her bedroom. She was exhausted. It took too long for her to be ready for bed. Once she was, she lay awake for hours, thinking of nothing.