Lorelai was waiting when she got in. She fell off the couch in her rush to get to Rory, face all aglow.

"What? What happened?"

Rory hesitated, turning back to make sure the door was closed properly, buying time. She walked past her mother, sprawling out on the couch.

"Nothing's happening."

"That's not even a good evasion, Rory. Tell me!"

"Tristan—he wanted me to break up with Jess."

"Yes, yes, I know all this, give me the good stuff now."

"Nothing good is happening. I'm not breaking up with Jess."

There was a pause while Lorelai picked her jaw up off the floor. "Well. I can't say that isn't a surprise. Um, why? Why not?"

"He's my boyfriend, Mom."

"I did know this. I thought you planned on changing it."

"Well, I'm not. Jess is my boyfriend; Tristan isn't. End of story."

"Okay. I just want to know what happened in the second act."

"I decided that I was going to stay with Jess."

"Why?"

"You've always hated him."

Lorelai squinted, considering. "That was once true. Now I think he's a nice kid, and as such, am largely indifferent to him. But I thought we had decided that you were going to break up with him?"

"I didn't know we'd decided anything."

"Hadn't we? I feel sure—"

"You had expressed an opinion. I have no obligation to agree with it."

"Yes you do. It's in the daughter contract."

"I'll be sure to tell Grandma that."

"You dare… Well, fine." Lorelai flopped down beside Rory, the wind taken out of her sails. "But, Rory, what happened? What's happening with Tristan?"

"Look, it didn't work out. I don't want to talk about it. It's over. I'm not going to have anything more to do with him."

"Why not?"

"Because I have a boyfriend, and that's not going to change, so this will have to."

"While that makes sense, I know you're hiding something from me."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Yeah, I got that. Spill."

"No. It just turned out badly, all right?"

Rory shoved herself off the couch, and looked down at her mother. She looked distressed, and older than she had five minutes ago, her face tight with anxiety.

"I'm going to bed. None of this really matters, so don't worry about it, okay? It'll all be fine."

Lorelai's expression didn't lighten, but the gaze on Rory's back as she walked away was far less of a reproach than she deserved, so she turned back and kissed her mother on the cheek before she left. She knew it wasn't anything like enough, but it was all that she could do.

*

Lorelai had expected Jess to get dumped, and her surprise and complete lack of understanding of what had actually happened made her probing far easier to avoid than Rory had expected. She was very careful not to intrude, trying to figure out what she was missing without making it worse, and backing off whenever she thought something would hurt.

It made Rory squirm to see her mother so wary around her, but she couldn't think of any way to fix it; it was the best of a bad set of choices. It was taking its toll too, though. Her relationship with her mother wasn't usually strained, and this really wasn't the time for the added pressure.

Tristan called twice. Lorelai answered both times, and didn't force Rory on when she saw the horror the prospect caused. She only got Lorelai's end of the conversation, and that was mostly made up of grunts and apologies, while Lorelai tried not to stare at her, but the calls still made her uncomfortable. She wondered if they talked while she wasn't there, and whose side Lorelai would take anyway.

She saw Jess three times, and it was the oddest thing; it could have been an out-of-body-experience, almost, like she was pulling her own strings to make herself move. She thought it might have reminded her of sex, if she had been feeling anything. But Jess didn't notice, and things were as close to normal as they could be with Luke not-looking at them all the time and her mother watching every step, and she—was as close to normal as she could get.

It was hard to bear, though, and she felt ready to crack. She knew Lorelai was waiting for it, and it would be such a relief. Such a relief not to be on her own anymore.

Friday dinner was awkward. Her grandmother caught the undercurrent of tension and was obviously curious; her grandfather smiled beatifically at them all and concentrated on his salmon.

Afterwards, while Lorelai was making noise about having to get up early in the morning, her grandmother pulled her aside.

"Rory. We never see each other once we step away from this table. We should do something this weekend. We should go out and enjoy ourselves. Set Sunday aside."

And it was indicative of Rory's state of mind that it didn't sound like a bad idea.

*

It seemed like less of a good idea when her grandmother was trying to buy her a handbag. But Emily was able to take a hint, and Rory thought she might actually get some use out of the sundress they settled on.

They had lunch on a deck that stretched over the ocean, looking at boats decorated with colourful streamers that served no practical purpose whatsoever, unless you thought making the world pretty was practical. It was the nicest time she'd had in a while.

Emily started to look shifty while they were waiting for dessert. Rory knew what was coming, but she couldn't say she wanted it to go away. She wanted to talk to someone. She wanted someone to take this away from her, to tell her what to do and make everything easy again. Her grandmother would do that. Her grandmother liked telling people what to do. She'd probably like it if someone listened for once, and Rory actually might. She could make this go away.

"Is Lorelai all right, dear?"

"Mom's fine. I mean, she's—nothing bad has happened to her."

"She seemed a little worried the other night. Does she have anything to be worried about?"

"I think— Things have been difficult between us lately."

"Why? What's wrong Rory?"

"Nothing's wrong. She just doesn't like my boyfriend."

Was that—incredulity. Her grandmother looked incredulous. This couldn't be good.

"Lorelai doesn't like your young man?"

"Well, she likes him. She just likes the other one better."

"The other one. Isn't Jess your mother's boyfriend's cousin?"

"Nephew."

"Close enough. And she doesn't approve of him?"

Emily looked absolutely thrilled. Rory wondered if this was ammunition. "Oh, she approves. She thinks he's a lovely young man."

"Tell me about this other one."

"Tristan."

"What a nice name. How did you meet?"

"We go to school together. We're friends. Were friends."

"And now you have feelings for this young man?"

"Feelings. Yeah."

Rory stole what she hoped was a covert look at her grandmother. She didn't look too judgmental, but that didn't mean she wouldn't be. The moment stretched, and she knew she was staring, but this was—she could lose her grandmother here. The smile would fade and the lines around her eyes would deepen and she'd pull away without moving a muscle, and Rory wouldn't be able to do anything but watch it happen. But the desire to speak was almost a physical urge and she couldn't keep this hidden forever, couldn't, and to stop now would be as good as a lie and she didn't want to do that anymore. It made things too hard, it made them harder than she knew how to handle.

"We, um—I was still going out with Jess, and I kissed him." Breathe. "And then, a few nights ago, we had sex."

Emily's eyebrows rose, and her mouth parted. A moment passed while Rory waited for the explosion, the disappointment, and then the mouth shut. The eyes dropped.

"You and Tristan, you mean."

"Yes. Tristan. I wouldn't have done that with Jess."

A sigh, tension in every particle of stillness, but Emily was looking at her again. "You don't like him as much?"

Rory paused. "I must not. If I'd—do things with Tristan that I wouldn't with Jess—that must say something, huh?"

New concept, unbelievable that she'd overlooked it, and she wanted out of this, out of it all. Her grandmother ordered more wine, and finished what was left of her glass in a swallow.

"You've known Tristan for a while?"

"Longer than I've known Jess."

"Well, that's not so bad." Panic was beginning to set in, for both of them, but Emily quickly had it under control. "You're friends; there must be something you like about him. Just break up with Jess, and everything will be fine."

Rory's glass banged on the table. She hadn't known it was in her hand. "No. You don't understand. I had sex with him. With Tristan. He's not even my boyfriend."

She could see her grandmother search for composure, for a pleasant lie, and she thought she should feel guilty that she was forcing her problems on somebody else, but she didn't.

"Not all sex has to be in a loving relationship, Rory. I mean, it's certainly an ideal, but it's not a sin not to live up to it."

"I cheated on my boyfriend. I love Jess. Jess."

"Then why did you have sex with Tristan?"

She didn't have an answer to that. Not one she could live with acknowledging.

"You shouldn't cheat on people, Rory. You shouldn't betray them. This is serious, make no mistake about it. But you can fix it. Just break up with Jess."

Laughable, that her grandmother was echoing everybody else. "No. Jess is my boyfriend. This is the way it is. I have betrayed him, and I have to fix that. And I can fix it by not doing it again."

A frown, for the first time since this had begun. It made Rory feel giddy, light-headed with relief, and she had no idea why.

"Well, that's one way of looking at it, I suppose. I think it's short-sighted, but I suppose it makes sense." She paused. "Your mother's sort of sense. I don't really understand that."

"It's important."

"All right." Another pause, and Rory watched Emily's face lighten by degrees as she forced herself towards levity. "You're not a virgin, and you're not pregnant—you're not pregnant, are you?" Total horror in her eyes, in the painful rawness of her voice, and Rory was so glad to be able to shake her head. "Wonderful. We should celebrate. Ice cream for dessert. And more wine." More wine came. "And Lorelai disapproves? That's—" Hypocritical. It hovered in the air between them, and Emily didn't need to speak it. "—new and different."

"She doesn't know. But she likes Tristan better."

"Who is this boy?"

"Tristan DuGrey."

"Oh, Rory. I really think that your mother has the right idea—"

"I have to choose Jess."

"But his mother is absolutely delightful."

"I'm not getting married, Grandma."

"Give it a few years."

And Rory sort of couldn't believe she'd told her grandmother this much, but it seemed to be working out okay. No fireworks, and if her load wasn't any lighter, her mind was. It was a start.

"You know you can come to me for help, Rory, whatever happens. You did the right thing by telling me this." She reached across the table and patted Rory on the hand. "We'll make sure it works out for you."

This managed to be comforting, and Rory smiled, slightly shocky and increasingly punchy. The buzz didn't wear off until they were in Saks, and she realised she'd agreed to purchase court shoes.