Complete the Circle
Chapter Thirty: Distance Between Hearts
They had cleaned up the campsite and put everything back in their respective bags and such, and were now just sitting around, waiting for their ride to arrive. Miroku and Sango were dozing next to each other, and their backs were against a tree. Sango used Miroku's shoulder as a pillow, and his head rested on her head. They really did look like a couple at the moment, and Inuyasha couldn't resist taking a picture of them while they were like that.
It had been really early in the morning when they had returned, and nobody had really felt like sleeping, so they had decided to pack up and get ready to leave. But packing had exhausted them, not to mention they had spent a majority of their time lost in the woods, so nearly everyone had fallen asleep as soon as they were done. Miroku and Sango just happened to fall asleep on the bottom of the same tree, and they just happened to fall asleep close to each other. Inuyasha grinned at their peaceful, sleeping faces. They would be so embarrassed when they woke up.
He still wasn't tired, despite what had happened to him earlier. He poked at the fire with a stick, trying to remember what had happened. He had told the others that he remembered everything in his life, but he had been lying. It was true he remembered near everything that he should remember, but the one thing that he couldn't seem to recall was what had happened after he had gotten down from the tree.
He sighed, causing Kagome to stir slightly. He looked at her, wondering if he had woken her up, but saw that she was still sleeping across from him, wrapped in a blanket. She too had been tired from the events of the day.
He went back to trying to remember. He had jumped down from the tree, and then a youkai appeared. Kagome had said that the youkai was the same as the one who had given Miroku his air rip. She was a scorpion, he remembered. She attacked him for his…blood? That much he remembered, but after that, what had happened? Somehow the scorpion had disappeared, and from what he had gathered from his friends without directly asking them, he had been the one who destroyed the youkai.
But how was that possible? He, the "youkai" who didn't have any powers, was able to defeat a full adult youkai? From what was said, and what went unsaid, he was going to guess that the youkai died because he had swallowed her youki, just like the other day when he was sucking up his sister, his grandfather and Onii-chan's youki. His family and friends might have thought that he had recovered quickly from that incident, but in truth, he was afraid. He was afraid of hurting them again.
So why would someone take control of him, then come after him for his blood? It didn't really make sense. There were a lot of youkai out there who probably had blood tastier than his, so he was going to guess that the scorpion youkai had not come to drink his blood. Then what? Did she come to steal his blood so that she could perform a possession spell?
He stopped poking the fire to think on that. Was that what the youkai had been after? But she was dead now, so he didn't have to worry about that anymore, right?
He threw the stick he had been holding into the fire, closing his eyes against the light of the morning sun. Miroku had said that the person that he wanted to defeat was Naraku. Naraku had given Miroku his air rip in his past life, and had probably returned to give him the air rip again. Was it possible that the scorpion youkai had been sent by Naraku? Would that mean that Naraku was the one who had tried to possess him? But why? Just because he was his enemy in his past life?
He wasn't even sure that he believed that. If he really was this person that his friends had known, then why couldn't he remember anything like they did? And if he was correct, didn't remembering your past life involve "remembering," not "forgetting"? Why was it that he couldn't remember what had happened in his past life, assuming that he did believe in this stuff, and ended up forgetting his present life? It was a rotten deal, if anyone cared to ask him.
He opened his eyes again, looking at Kagome. Last night, right after he had found out that he couldn't remember most of his life, he had supposedly gone fishing. What he had wanted then was just to get away from those people and try to figure things out for himself. He had sat near the trunk of a tree, placing the fishing rod next to him, trying to piece what he could remember together, when he had suddenly felt something seem to squeeze his heart.
Something had come out from him and was dragging him out of his body. He had been frozen in his spot as he felt some sort of power trying to pull him away, and he had felt his eyes start to droop with false drowsiness. No matter what he did, he couldn't fight whatever it was, and he had felt his body gradually "fall asleep," even as he tried to wake himself up. Then suddenly, the feeling disappeared, and he had "awoken" to find Kagome sitting next to him. With his awakening was the return of the memories that he had lost.
He knew that Kagome was a miko and had great powers. From what his friends had told him the time he had gone to Kagome's house, he deducted that it must have been her purifying powers that had saved him last night. He knew that he could suck youki, and he knew that he had probably sucked the scorpion youkai's youki, so he guessed that the scorpion wasn't exactly pleased with him, and had tried to get revenge on him using the youki that he had taken from her.
He remembered that his grandfather had once said that even though a youkai may have been dead for hundreds of years, if their youki still existed, then whatever spell they had used the youki for would still be there. He figured that since he had killed the scorpion youkai by consuming her youki, then her will was probably still behind her youki, even after she was dead, enabling her youki to do what she would have done had she still been alive.
He watched silently as Kagome started to wake up. I should probably thank her for saving my life…nah. I'll seem too much of a wimp if I thank her. I don't even know if what I had felt that night was real. Imagine thanking someone just because they woke you from a bad dream.
"Good morning," Kagome yawned, trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes.
"Morning," Inuyasha replied, smiling. "I didn't make any breakfast since I figured we can all just eat out somewhere."
"Oh. That's a good idea," Kagome said, not yet fully awake. She turned her head and saw Miroku and Sango waking up. She smiled as she saw the couple realize how close they were to each other and move away from each other in embarrassment.
"Aww. I missed a Kodak moment," Kagome said, smiling at her friends' red faces.
"You may have missed it, but I didn't," Inuyasha said, grinning as the two gave him shocked looks.
"You have to give me a copy!" Kagome said, giggling at her friends' expense.
"No prob," Inuyasha said as they heard a car honking its horn. "Time to go!" He dumped the water in the bucket that was supposed to have been for the fish, putting out the fire, and then covering the remains of the fire with earth. He picked up his bag and the others followed his example, heading for the car and to home.
Kagome walked out of the shower, and started drying her hair with the blow drier. She finished drying her hair a few moments later and walked downstairs. Shippou and Souta were playing together, and Shippou was transforming them into animals. They were playing tag, but with a twist. Shippou tagged Souta and shouted out an animal, and Souta turned into whatever animal Shippou had called out. Then Souta had to run and tag Shippou, shouting out an animal that began with the same letter as the last letter of the animal Shippou called before, transforming Shippou into that animal.
"Raccoon!" Souta shouted, tagging Shippou with his tongue. He was an anteater. Shippou transformed into a raccoon and tried to tag Souta as Souta ran away. He eventually caught up to him and tagged him.
"Nightingale!" Shippou shouted, transforming Souta into the bird. It was Shippou's turn to run away, but Souta quickly flew to Shippou and pecked him lightly.
"Elephant!" Souta shouted. Shippou transformed into a miniature elephant.
"Tiger!" Shippou shouted, grabbing Souta using his trunk. There was a knock at the door, and the two immediately transformed back to their more presentable forms. Mrs. Higurashi went to get the door.
"Oh! Hello, Miroku," she said as she welcomed him inside. "What brings you here today?"
"I have some things I want to discuss with Kagome," he said politely, holding some sort of scroll in his arm.
"Of course. You two can use the living room. I'm working in the kitchen," Mrs. Higurashi said, heading for the kitchen. After she was gone, Shippou and Souta started their game again, and Kagome walked to Miroku.
"So what did you want to discuss?" asked Kagome.
"I believe I have just found a spell that may cause Inuyasha to remember his past life," Miroku said, showing her the scroll. Kagome looked at the scroll anxiously.
"What on earth does this say?" asked Kagome, trying to make out the characters on the scroll.
"They're ancient Chinese characters," Miroku said, walking to a table and spreading the scroll out. "It's titled 'Remember Lives Long Past.' The ingredients needed for the spell are quite common, and I believe we can pull the spell off before the end of the day."
"Wait. We're doing it today?" asked Kagome, feeling that this was rather abrupt.
"Yes. We need a piece of jade, some salt and pepper, and the subject that the spell is to be performed on. We also need some sake or any type of alcohol, really, and a piece of red string," Miroku answered. "Oh, we also need a staff that once belonged to a monk, but I'm sure your grandfather must have one."
"No," Kagome said, shaking her head. "Jii-chan doesn't have anything like that. But Sango-chan does."
"Sango?" asked Miroku, surprised.
"Oh yes, I forgot to tell you," Kagome said a bit embarrassed. "Sango-chan has your old staff as well as Hiraikotsu. Her ancestors had found them a long time ago."
"They did?" asked Miroku. "I guess we can just call her and ask her to bring it when she comes over."
"So we're really doing the spell?" asked Kagome, feeling slightly guilty. Musashino would soon remember that he was Inuyasha. She should have been glad, so why was she feeling so bad about it?
"I'll call Sango and Inuyasha," Miroku said. "Can I please borrow your phone?" Kagome pointed him to the phone and he started calling them. She would have been amazed that he had memorized their phone numbers, but she was too worried about Inuyasha. How would he be like once he remembered?
Kagome sat down on the couch, wondering what was wrong with her. Didn't she want Inuyasha back? Yes, she did, but she didn't want to lose Musashino either. She still wasn't sure about her feelings towards him, but she knew that he was a nice person, and it didn't feel right to force him to remember if he didn't want to. Sure, he acted like he really didn't care, but Kagome felt that there was a lot that this Inuyasha was hiding from her. He was similar to the old Inuyasha in that aspect, but other than that, the two Inuyashas had such different personalities that she was afraid of what would happen when they were both in the same person.
"Sango and Inuyasha both will be arriving here shortly," Miroku said.
Kagome acknowledged him with a nod. She kept on telling herself that the reason she didn't want Inuyasha to remember was because of his clashing personalities, but was that really the case?
She loved Inuyasha. She knew that much. She was willing to stand by his side, even when she knew her feelings of affection would never be returned. She was willing to do anything for him, take any risk for him. It always pained her whenever she saw Inuyasha get hurt because of her, and she always got angry at those who had hurt him, though they were usually dead by that time. She loved Inuyasha, and she would always love him, now and forever.
But Inuyasha was dead. He had died five hundred years ago. She smiled bitterly at herself. She was in love with the ghost of a five hundred year old half demon, one who insisted on pushing her away and chasing after the ghost of his dead girlfriend. She could never have him, even if he had given up on Kikyo. Time would separate them, either that, or death. She really was a fool.
She saw Souta and Shippou still playing their game, but she wasn't really watching them. Inuyasha was dead, and she should get over him and get on with her life. But she really couldn't. How could someone just forget the one they loved like that? And even if she did try to forget, what would she do once Inuyasha's memories returned? How could she forget someone who was so close, yet so far away from her?
Kagome heard the doorbell ring and dreaded to see who was at the other side. Musashino lived close to her, so no doubt he would be the first to arrive. She got up nervously and opened the door, trying to put on her happiest face.
"Hello, Inuyasha!" she said happily, but she couldn't help but feel saddened when she said the name. "Please come in."
"Thanks," Inuyasha replied, entering the home. "You okay, Kagome?"
"Huh? Yes… Why do you ask?" questioned Kagome, wondering if she was wearing her feelings for the whole world to see.
"You just looked a little down to me," Inuyasha said gently. "I just wanted to know if you're okay."
"You shouldn't be worrying about me," Kagome said, turning around, no longer able to look at his face. She felt tears threaten to flow from her eyes, but she suppressed them. Why does he make me feel this way? I… I feel so happy, but so sad whenever I see him. I feel happy because…because… Because he's the part of Inuyasha that he always kept buried in the Sengoku Jidai. He's the part of Inuyasha that I saw beneath his rough exterior. But now… He wears his true feelings on the outside. There are no barriers. I should be happy. I am happy.
But… I cannot forget the Inuyasha I knew whenever I look at him. He is everything that Inuyasha was and more. I… I love Inuyasha. I love Inuyasha but… Do I love…?
She felt someone put their hand on her shoulder. She turned around, only to gaze into the deep lavender eyes of the one who reminded her so much of the one she had loved. The one who was stealing her heart with every little gesture that he made.
"Kagome, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice soft with concern. She tried to bite back her tears, but was unsuccessful. She had never really thought about Inuyasha's death like this, until now. He was just gone so abruptly that she had busied herself with acting happy for her family so that they wouldn't be worried about her. She had acted normal and done routine things, telling herself that she was coping with his death, when she really wasn't.
To her, Inuyasha had only been gone on a small vacation. He had survived so many other things before that she couldn't believe that he could just die like that. He was dead. She knew that. But her heart kept on hoping, kept on dreaming of a future with him in it.
Until she met Sango. Sango brought reality to her. Sango taught her heart that her friends really were dead, and they wouldn't return again. Sango forced her to realize that Inuyasha was gone.
But then, Sango remembered. So Kagome's heart started constructing dreams again, dreams where Inuyasha would return as himself, acting like himself, looking like himself.
She never expected this to happen. In her dreams, Inuyasha was Inuyasha, but in reality… Inuyasha was not Inuyasha. They were only one in name. Musashino was Musashino. He wasn't Inuyasha. He could never be Inuyasha.
But now, Miroku had found a spell. A spell to return Inuyasha to her. Inuyasha the dead, would return full of life. Musashino the living, would forever be killed.
How could she just pretend that she was blind to the situation? How could she not feel the hurt from what was going to happen? She told Musashino that he shouldn't worry about her, but she couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't bear this silence any longer.
"I'm worried," was all Kagome was able to say between sobs, her previous control slipping away, burying her face in Inuyasha's chest, crying. "I'm worried about you. I'm worried about what will happen. And… And…"
"And you're worried about what will happen to the Inuyasha that you knew, aren't you?" he asked. She felt a pang of guilt at his words. He sounded so sad. She looked up into his face, and she saw his eyes filled with disappointment and sadness. He didn't think that she didn't care about him, did he? He didn't think that she only cared about him because of Inuyasha, did he?
"I-Inuyasha… I…" Kagome started, wanting to put her arms around him, but found that she didn't have the courage to.
"It's okay," he said, starting to smile, his eyes closed…closed so that she couldn't see his emotions. "He'll be back soon. He would never abandon a great girl like you."
"Inuyasha…" Kagome said softly as she felt him pull away. It's not like that. It's not like that… Inuyasha! You're wrong! It's not like that! She reached out to grab him, but the doorbell rang and he walked away from her to answer the door. In the few feet that he walked from her, she felt a great distance form between them, one that she wasn't sure if she could cross.
Author's Note: Yay! After one loooong week I've finally updated. I dunno… One week just seems to be a long time for me to update a story because I was practically updating everyday during the summer, but alas… Real life sucks.
I hoped you liked the chapter. It took me a really long time to write it, and something was supposed to happen in this chapter, but the chapter just got too long so I had to bump it into the next chapter. Next chapter: "A Spell Gone Wrong?"
By the way… Thanks for all the yummy reviews!