Random thoughts, feelings.
Disclaimers: Weiß Kreuz doesn't belong to me, nor do the characters. I'm not doing this for profit, only for fun, and hell, this is fun. Don't sue me, you'd fall over if you knew how little money I have. Ack.
(***)
Ah! Sugoi, ne? I got an A in my test again, I do every time and it's really nice, you know. The others don't say much except to pat on my head when they find out or when I tell them. I generally don't tell them, because it really is none of their concern.
Understand, I in no way mean that they don't care about me. But we all stick to our own business normally, and we are happy about it. Today the sun shined all day, I love it. I love the way every day of my life seems so beautiful and I love the smiles and the laughter I hear. Everywhere.
Something's happened with one of my teammates, I know it, though he won't let me know. And it's getting worse. In fact I seem to notice many things the others think they are hiding well or things they don't really notice themselves. They so like to think that they have poker faces and I the chibi won't understand. Hihi... Let them think that.
Sometimes I look out and see lots and lots of girls and I start to search until I realize that the person I'm searching for is long gone. Under the earth where she won't have belonged, so young, if it was not for me.
Then I would look down on my hands in the nights and see the blood, and I ask myself over and over again if the horrid look on their faces, the begging, the talking of friends and families before they die, die by my hands doesn't indicate enough that they too, are normal humans. And that I am making a mistake.
Always then I'll start to doubt, to fear, to notice somewhere from deep inside where I am buried that something is wrong, that maybe this is not what I think or would like to think it is. And I want to scream.
No. This isn't right. I won't think like that and I've never had problems living without such thoughts. Yes, they come again and again to catch me off guard, but I know, I know that what I'm doing is right. That I'm fighting against the evil, and that no price is too high when I could rid all bad from the face of earth, so no one will suffer again like I, we, all had. After all, I never forgive the bad ones. And someone has to do the job. If I didn't do it, someone else will.
/And if there is no purpose./
Some days, when the deed is done and we can no more, then, maybe the ones I love will stop hurting, hurting so bad, because I know they do. And the innocents will hurt less, too, because there won't be so many to hurt them anymore.
/If there is no right and no wrong./
I will protect them, the strong and the weak, my friends and all the other people I love so much.
/No white. Nothing that is white./
And I'll live my own life and...
Yawn, I'm tired. I think I'll go to sleep now, what do you think?
Oyasumi!
And the look in the dead men's eyes and the person that is no longer there are forgotten.
I have always been good at forgetting things.
Yawn. Hehe...
Disclaimers: Weiß Kreuz doesn't belong to me, nor do the characters. I'm not doing this for profit, only for fun, and hell, this is fun. Don't sue me, you'd fall over if you knew how little money I have. Ack.
(***)
Ah! Sugoi, ne? I got an A in my test again, I do every time and it's really nice, you know. The others don't say much except to pat on my head when they find out or when I tell them. I generally don't tell them, because it really is none of their concern.
Understand, I in no way mean that they don't care about me. But we all stick to our own business normally, and we are happy about it. Today the sun shined all day, I love it. I love the way every day of my life seems so beautiful and I love the smiles and the laughter I hear. Everywhere.
Something's happened with one of my teammates, I know it, though he won't let me know. And it's getting worse. In fact I seem to notice many things the others think they are hiding well or things they don't really notice themselves. They so like to think that they have poker faces and I the chibi won't understand. Hihi... Let them think that.
Sometimes I look out and see lots and lots of girls and I start to search until I realize that the person I'm searching for is long gone. Under the earth where she won't have belonged, so young, if it was not for me.
Then I would look down on my hands in the nights and see the blood, and I ask myself over and over again if the horrid look on their faces, the begging, the talking of friends and families before they die, die by my hands doesn't indicate enough that they too, are normal humans. And that I am making a mistake.
Always then I'll start to doubt, to fear, to notice somewhere from deep inside where I am buried that something is wrong, that maybe this is not what I think or would like to think it is. And I want to scream.
No. This isn't right. I won't think like that and I've never had problems living without such thoughts. Yes, they come again and again to catch me off guard, but I know, I know that what I'm doing is right. That I'm fighting against the evil, and that no price is too high when I could rid all bad from the face of earth, so no one will suffer again like I, we, all had. After all, I never forgive the bad ones. And someone has to do the job. If I didn't do it, someone else will.
/And if there is no purpose./
Some days, when the deed is done and we can no more, then, maybe the ones I love will stop hurting, hurting so bad, because I know they do. And the innocents will hurt less, too, because there won't be so many to hurt them anymore.
/If there is no right and no wrong./
I will protect them, the strong and the weak, my friends and all the other people I love so much.
/No white. Nothing that is white./
And I'll live my own life and...
Yawn, I'm tired. I think I'll go to sleep now, what do you think?
Oyasumi!
And the look in the dead men's eyes and the person that is no longer there are forgotten.
I have always been good at forgetting things.
Yawn. Hehe...