~A Once and Again Series~
Life is what you make of it
Chapter 14// This is crazy
Grace turned in her seat once again. She strained her neck, twisting to look. Finally the red head she sought appeared, a few rows back, directly behind her. He looked out of place, glancing uncomfortably at the many strangers. But then everyone there looked out of place. No one ever wanted to attend a funeral.
Grace looked and waited and his eyes connected with hers. They shared a comforting stare, communicating without words. Grace smiled gently and turned around. She was in the first row with her family, facing the casket and the funeral director. Grace looked briefly at the foreign casket. The lid was closed, as Karen had made a will a few years back and had requested a closed casket. Still, it hurt to see that long polished wooden box, knowing what it held inside.
Jessie was sniffling a few seats down, cradled between Rick and her grandmother.. Karen's mother. What a horrible thing, for a mother to see her daughter being put into the ground. It wasn't supposed to be that way. Parents were supposed to go before their children, preferably at the ripe old age of 100. But the rules had been tossed out the window that Sunday evening when Karen stepped a few steps too far and a car turned the corner too fast, seeing her too late.
Grace didn't know how she'd survive if it was her mother laying beneath that slab of wood. Grace reached out for her mother's hand, grasping it tightly, taking comfort in the warmth of it. Grace held on to it as the funeral procession began.
* * *
Grace returned to school the day after the funeral. She didn't have to, her mother would have let her stay home, like Jessie, but Grace was anxious to return. She had grieved and cried and comforted and been comforted. She had her regrets that she hadn't really known Karen as anyone other than the woman who came to pick up Jessie every now and then. But, time didn't allow her to go back and mend things so the best thing she could do was go on. Take each day and live. Grace knew it things would be different for Jessie, and for Eli. They would need longer to heal and even then the scabs would only be a covering, so easy to pick off and let the blood flow again.
Grace made it through the morning, uneasily accepting apologies and condolences for a woman she hadn't known enough. She entered her fifth hour class with anticipation. She longed for Augustus. She hadn't gotten to talk to him at the funeral, but just knowing he was there was enough. She was surprised when she saw Mr. Dimitri's chair empty. She sat down in her own chair and watched the door.
She waited, more students entered. The bell rung, a few students rushed into class late armed with excuses and apologies, noticed Mr. Dimitri's absence and walked casually to their seats, taking their time. Grace began to drum her fingernails in frustration. Where was he? The class began whispering to each other, keeping one eye on the door. A minute passed and the noise level increased exceedingly. Grace heard snatches of conversation.
"I heard.. Katie, yeah.. she and.. no way.. he's too old for.. that's crazy.. Mr. Dimitri.. Katie.. wow, really?"
Grace sunk lower into her chair, forcing herself not to scream out at them. She had added it up in her head, obviously, a rumor involving Katie and Mr. Dimitri was being spread. Grace knew it was totally false, whatever the exact rumor was. Katie was a lesbian and Mr. Dimitri was hers. Still, it hurt to hear his name in slander.
"I say we ditch this class! Mr. Dimitri isn't coming," A boy stood up and said. Cheers from the class.
"Hmm, well Katie's not hear either," Alexa pointed out. There was snickers and laughter from the peanut gallery. Grace grimaced. "We all know what they means!" More laughter.
Grace closed her ears to the crude acquisitions flying across the room. Grace knew Katie had gotten her mother to let her miss school today so she could be with Jessie. But these idiots didn't deserve to be let in on this. Besides, once rumors started to fly, nothing could stop them. They might quiet down, but there would always be a lingering whisper. But Augustus didn't deserve this, he was a great teacher. Katie didn't deserve it either.
Four minutes had passed since the bell had rung. Some students were standing, backpacks zipped and ready to leave. Everyone was waiting for someone else to be the first. The Vice Principal entered the room, and those students sat down in a hurry and everyone stopped their gossip.
"I'm sorry to say that Mr. Dimitri can't be hear today. So, your class will be moved to the library, where you can work on homework, or I don't know, say read a book?"
Grace trudged unhappily behind the rest of her class. A secretary opened the administrative office as she walked past and Grace caught the smallest glimpse of a red head in the principal's office. Her heart sunk even lower. A stupid lie, spread by gossips couldn't get Augustus in trouble, could it?
* * *
Grace left the school in a hurry, hoping Augustus would still be around. She slowed her pace as she reached the teacher's parking lot and looked for his car. Not there. She was glad her mother had let her use her car today. She drove straight for Augustus' house and was relieved to see his car in the driveway. She parked the car quickly, leaving the keys in it and went to the back door.
Augustus seemed to have been waiting for her. "Hi."
"This is crazy," Grace breathed out.
"I know." Augustus took her in his arms. They leaned against each other, their lips meeting briefly. "Someone must have seen me hug Katie Monday after the phone call to your house. They let their imaginations take over and suddenly I'm sleeping with the girl. The rumors started gaining steam on Wednesday and today I got greeted by the vice principal and escorted to the principal's office."
"Did you explain? You're not in trouble, are you?" Grace asked anxiously.
"I explained, but I didn't go into detail. I told them only what they needed to know, nothing more. I couldn't betray Katie's confidence. And I didn't dare talk about you."
"And what happened?"
Augustus smiled, "I'm cleared. They understand how rumors can start and spread and twist and change. They will have to talk with Katie once she gets back just to make sure she agrees with my version. But, to tell you the truth, they were more concerned that I let her use her cell phone on school grounds. But do to the unfortunate special circumstances they will look past it."
Grace kissed him softly, "I was worried when you weren't there."
"I know." Augustus leaned in and kissed her again. Grace let herself get lost in that kiss, forgetting about her promise to her mother that she would come directly home after school. They fell back against the counters and Augustus lifted her up, so she sat on the cool countertop. He leaned in into her, and her legs wrapped around him. Her long fingers ran through his hair, enjoying the texture of it. Their lips pressed and opened to each other, tasting. His hands slid under her coat and shirt and grasped the bare skin of her back.
Finally it was Augustus who was the one who restrained himself. "Don't you have to be getting home?" Grace glanced at the microwave clock and her mouth dropped open.
"Oh, no. I told my mother I'd come home directly after school so she could she I was still breathing." Grace took Augustus' offered hands and eased off the countertop. She headed towards the doors, stopping with her hand on the handle. She turned back to him, "I was here when it happened. I was here when my mother made calls, trying to find me. I wasn't there; I wasn't at the library like I told her. I wasn't anywhere where she could reach me. I was here. She hasn't asked me about it and I think she maybe has decided not to ask. But she knows me and she knows something is going on in my life. She told me she knows I have a secret boyfriend.. for a while she thought it was Tad," Grace paused.
Augustus managed a strained smile, not knowing where this was headed, not liking where this was headed.
"She wonders why I haven't told her who I'm seeing. I can see the pain, hurt and confusion on her face. We used to be so close. And now I won't let her in on the important man in my life. It hurts me not to tell her. It hurts me to lie to her. I think she might be understanding, she knows about love. I want to just give her a chance so bad. I want to share your name with her."
"Grace, no, you know we can't tell. You're only 17, and I'm still your teacher." Augustus looked pleadingly at her, Grace looked away.
"It's going to be hard to lie to her, especially now after tragedy hit so close by. She wants to know where I am at all times. She wants the numbers I can be reached at." Grace sighed, looking down at her hands.
"Grace, we can figure something out. We can say I'm looking over your stories or you're here for a meeting or something!" Augustus looked down at his own hands, which had a slight tremble over them.
"But, no, you don't get it.. that would still be lying. I don't want to hurt my mother. I say we tell her, just her, and explain things to her and maybe.."
Augustus cut her off, "Do you really want to risk our relationship on a 'maybe'?! And what about my job as a teacher. Look what happened after one hug was seen between me and Katie.. imagine what would happen if the truth about you and me came out, or even just partial truth? And do you really think it's fair to burden your mother with the truth? Tell her something she most likely doesn't want to hear and then ask her to keep it a secret, to keep it bottle up inside her? Is that fair to her?"
"No," Grace whispered.
"Then you see it can only be this way, Grace. At least for the time being. But you'll be 18 in.." Augustus paused, realizing he didn't know her birthday.
"May 8th," Grace offered.
Augustus smiled, "That's not so far away! I could leave the school and we would be free to have an open relationship."
"Leave the school?" Grace asked in surprise.
"Well, I've been thinking of a change. Maybe start writing again. Maybe direct a play at the college," Augustus' eyes lit up with the possibilities.
Grace considered this, turning it over in her head, "But until then I have to lie, and once we're legally allowed to see each other I'll have to tell my mother that I've been lying to her for months. Tell her I didn't trust her enough to share with her the love I have for you? That might hurt her even more, to hear about it later rather than now."
"Grace, we can't tell her. It's not an option, you need to get that through your head!" Augustus snapped at her.
Grace shook her head, her eyes lined with tears, "I can't get it through my head. Maybe we should.."
"Maybe what?"
Grace hesitated, on the verge of saying something, instead she looked at her watch, "Oh, I really have to go." She turned around, giving him one last chance to speak. When he didn't, her shoulders slumped and she turned and walked out the door.
"Grace!" Augustus cried out too late. "Grace!"
Life is what you make of it
Chapter 14// This is crazy
Grace turned in her seat once again. She strained her neck, twisting to look. Finally the red head she sought appeared, a few rows back, directly behind her. He looked out of place, glancing uncomfortably at the many strangers. But then everyone there looked out of place. No one ever wanted to attend a funeral.
Grace looked and waited and his eyes connected with hers. They shared a comforting stare, communicating without words. Grace smiled gently and turned around. She was in the first row with her family, facing the casket and the funeral director. Grace looked briefly at the foreign casket. The lid was closed, as Karen had made a will a few years back and had requested a closed casket. Still, it hurt to see that long polished wooden box, knowing what it held inside.
Jessie was sniffling a few seats down, cradled between Rick and her grandmother.. Karen's mother. What a horrible thing, for a mother to see her daughter being put into the ground. It wasn't supposed to be that way. Parents were supposed to go before their children, preferably at the ripe old age of 100. But the rules had been tossed out the window that Sunday evening when Karen stepped a few steps too far and a car turned the corner too fast, seeing her too late.
Grace didn't know how she'd survive if it was her mother laying beneath that slab of wood. Grace reached out for her mother's hand, grasping it tightly, taking comfort in the warmth of it. Grace held on to it as the funeral procession began.
* * *
Grace returned to school the day after the funeral. She didn't have to, her mother would have let her stay home, like Jessie, but Grace was anxious to return. She had grieved and cried and comforted and been comforted. She had her regrets that she hadn't really known Karen as anyone other than the woman who came to pick up Jessie every now and then. But, time didn't allow her to go back and mend things so the best thing she could do was go on. Take each day and live. Grace knew it things would be different for Jessie, and for Eli. They would need longer to heal and even then the scabs would only be a covering, so easy to pick off and let the blood flow again.
Grace made it through the morning, uneasily accepting apologies and condolences for a woman she hadn't known enough. She entered her fifth hour class with anticipation. She longed for Augustus. She hadn't gotten to talk to him at the funeral, but just knowing he was there was enough. She was surprised when she saw Mr. Dimitri's chair empty. She sat down in her own chair and watched the door.
She waited, more students entered. The bell rung, a few students rushed into class late armed with excuses and apologies, noticed Mr. Dimitri's absence and walked casually to their seats, taking their time. Grace began to drum her fingernails in frustration. Where was he? The class began whispering to each other, keeping one eye on the door. A minute passed and the noise level increased exceedingly. Grace heard snatches of conversation.
"I heard.. Katie, yeah.. she and.. no way.. he's too old for.. that's crazy.. Mr. Dimitri.. Katie.. wow, really?"
Grace sunk lower into her chair, forcing herself not to scream out at them. She had added it up in her head, obviously, a rumor involving Katie and Mr. Dimitri was being spread. Grace knew it was totally false, whatever the exact rumor was. Katie was a lesbian and Mr. Dimitri was hers. Still, it hurt to hear his name in slander.
"I say we ditch this class! Mr. Dimitri isn't coming," A boy stood up and said. Cheers from the class.
"Hmm, well Katie's not hear either," Alexa pointed out. There was snickers and laughter from the peanut gallery. Grace grimaced. "We all know what they means!" More laughter.
Grace closed her ears to the crude acquisitions flying across the room. Grace knew Katie had gotten her mother to let her miss school today so she could be with Jessie. But these idiots didn't deserve to be let in on this. Besides, once rumors started to fly, nothing could stop them. They might quiet down, but there would always be a lingering whisper. But Augustus didn't deserve this, he was a great teacher. Katie didn't deserve it either.
Four minutes had passed since the bell had rung. Some students were standing, backpacks zipped and ready to leave. Everyone was waiting for someone else to be the first. The Vice Principal entered the room, and those students sat down in a hurry and everyone stopped their gossip.
"I'm sorry to say that Mr. Dimitri can't be hear today. So, your class will be moved to the library, where you can work on homework, or I don't know, say read a book?"
Grace trudged unhappily behind the rest of her class. A secretary opened the administrative office as she walked past and Grace caught the smallest glimpse of a red head in the principal's office. Her heart sunk even lower. A stupid lie, spread by gossips couldn't get Augustus in trouble, could it?
* * *
Grace left the school in a hurry, hoping Augustus would still be around. She slowed her pace as she reached the teacher's parking lot and looked for his car. Not there. She was glad her mother had let her use her car today. She drove straight for Augustus' house and was relieved to see his car in the driveway. She parked the car quickly, leaving the keys in it and went to the back door.
Augustus seemed to have been waiting for her. "Hi."
"This is crazy," Grace breathed out.
"I know." Augustus took her in his arms. They leaned against each other, their lips meeting briefly. "Someone must have seen me hug Katie Monday after the phone call to your house. They let their imaginations take over and suddenly I'm sleeping with the girl. The rumors started gaining steam on Wednesday and today I got greeted by the vice principal and escorted to the principal's office."
"Did you explain? You're not in trouble, are you?" Grace asked anxiously.
"I explained, but I didn't go into detail. I told them only what they needed to know, nothing more. I couldn't betray Katie's confidence. And I didn't dare talk about you."
"And what happened?"
Augustus smiled, "I'm cleared. They understand how rumors can start and spread and twist and change. They will have to talk with Katie once she gets back just to make sure she agrees with my version. But, to tell you the truth, they were more concerned that I let her use her cell phone on school grounds. But do to the unfortunate special circumstances they will look past it."
Grace kissed him softly, "I was worried when you weren't there."
"I know." Augustus leaned in and kissed her again. Grace let herself get lost in that kiss, forgetting about her promise to her mother that she would come directly home after school. They fell back against the counters and Augustus lifted her up, so she sat on the cool countertop. He leaned in into her, and her legs wrapped around him. Her long fingers ran through his hair, enjoying the texture of it. Their lips pressed and opened to each other, tasting. His hands slid under her coat and shirt and grasped the bare skin of her back.
Finally it was Augustus who was the one who restrained himself. "Don't you have to be getting home?" Grace glanced at the microwave clock and her mouth dropped open.
"Oh, no. I told my mother I'd come home directly after school so she could she I was still breathing." Grace took Augustus' offered hands and eased off the countertop. She headed towards the doors, stopping with her hand on the handle. She turned back to him, "I was here when it happened. I was here when my mother made calls, trying to find me. I wasn't there; I wasn't at the library like I told her. I wasn't anywhere where she could reach me. I was here. She hasn't asked me about it and I think she maybe has decided not to ask. But she knows me and she knows something is going on in my life. She told me she knows I have a secret boyfriend.. for a while she thought it was Tad," Grace paused.
Augustus managed a strained smile, not knowing where this was headed, not liking where this was headed.
"She wonders why I haven't told her who I'm seeing. I can see the pain, hurt and confusion on her face. We used to be so close. And now I won't let her in on the important man in my life. It hurts me not to tell her. It hurts me to lie to her. I think she might be understanding, she knows about love. I want to just give her a chance so bad. I want to share your name with her."
"Grace, no, you know we can't tell. You're only 17, and I'm still your teacher." Augustus looked pleadingly at her, Grace looked away.
"It's going to be hard to lie to her, especially now after tragedy hit so close by. She wants to know where I am at all times. She wants the numbers I can be reached at." Grace sighed, looking down at her hands.
"Grace, we can figure something out. We can say I'm looking over your stories or you're here for a meeting or something!" Augustus looked down at his own hands, which had a slight tremble over them.
"But, no, you don't get it.. that would still be lying. I don't want to hurt my mother. I say we tell her, just her, and explain things to her and maybe.."
Augustus cut her off, "Do you really want to risk our relationship on a 'maybe'?! And what about my job as a teacher. Look what happened after one hug was seen between me and Katie.. imagine what would happen if the truth about you and me came out, or even just partial truth? And do you really think it's fair to burden your mother with the truth? Tell her something she most likely doesn't want to hear and then ask her to keep it a secret, to keep it bottle up inside her? Is that fair to her?"
"No," Grace whispered.
"Then you see it can only be this way, Grace. At least for the time being. But you'll be 18 in.." Augustus paused, realizing he didn't know her birthday.
"May 8th," Grace offered.
Augustus smiled, "That's not so far away! I could leave the school and we would be free to have an open relationship."
"Leave the school?" Grace asked in surprise.
"Well, I've been thinking of a change. Maybe start writing again. Maybe direct a play at the college," Augustus' eyes lit up with the possibilities.
Grace considered this, turning it over in her head, "But until then I have to lie, and once we're legally allowed to see each other I'll have to tell my mother that I've been lying to her for months. Tell her I didn't trust her enough to share with her the love I have for you? That might hurt her even more, to hear about it later rather than now."
"Grace, we can't tell her. It's not an option, you need to get that through your head!" Augustus snapped at her.
Grace shook her head, her eyes lined with tears, "I can't get it through my head. Maybe we should.."
"Maybe what?"
Grace hesitated, on the verge of saying something, instead she looked at her watch, "Oh, I really have to go." She turned around, giving him one last chance to speak. When he didn't, her shoulders slumped and she turned and walked out the door.
"Grace!" Augustus cried out too late. "Grace!"