Sitting at my bureau I took out the necessary items to write a letter and
sat down to do just that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Piper, Paige and Leo;
I know a lot has happened in the past few days and that what I'm about to do will just make it worse, but it's what must be done. You all wondered who had taken your precious angel from your grasp. Piper you yelled at God, at the Elders, but you forgot to yell at the one person who actually deserved it, me. Uh-huh, I killed Melinda.
I killed her because I hated her, because she stole the space that deserved to be Ben's. Who's Ben you ask? Well if you had cared enough you would have known it was my son. Yes, the one the Seer took from me, the one who was killed. You see even though I only held him within my womb for a month or two those months were the happiest of my life. I was overjoyed to know there was a little someone living within me. And to have him taken away was the worse feeling in the world. Trying to overcome the pain I refrained from interacting with you guys for the weeks that followed his death. Yet once I was ready to let out my feelings and take comfort in your soothing words Piper announced her blissfully awaited pregnancy.
Now what was I to do? I couldn't very well talk about the morbid events of my life when everyone walked around the Manor in a state of complete happiness. And for nine months I hated you Piper. You got to experience that joy I had once felt long ago, but your joy was magnified by a thousand. You actually got to feel your infant move around in your stomach and you were able to proudly display to the world your new status as mother. I couldn't stand you Piper and I wanted you to feel what I had felt, to know what it was like to lose a child.
Remember that one night when you were going to the club and you tripped down the stairs. Everyone had dashed off to the hospital, hoping that the baby was still alive, that is except me. I was at work and for some reason my phones were busy. Did you all think that was pure coincidence? Of course not, you see I had been the one to trip you and being too ashamed to see you I waited till I got home that night from work to "hear about what happened." That had been my first attempt to kill the baby. Unsuccessful I did attempt many times after. How about the time you got sick from that ice tea or when you swore that in the middle of the night someone had tried to strangle you? Those were all me. Each attempt had failed, but each time I got smarter. Eventually I decided to wait for conception. However, I couldn't make it too obvious, so I waited, two weeks to be exact. I just causally walked into her room and suffocated her with her own pillow. I was relieved to have her dead and couldn't have cared less that Piper and Leo were distressed. But today I saw her for the first time since I had killed her. Her pretty pink dress placed on her cold body, color gently showing through her once blue complexion. It made me depressed. I had finally realized that what I did was wrong.
Now my body is torn inside. My emotions being pulled every which way. It hurts to eat, to sleep, to talk, to breathe. I can't go on like this, it's only been a measly six hours since I saw her and already I can't stand myself. I look in the mirror and see the face of a murderer. I try to wash my hands of the dirt, but it's forever there. No amount of washing will ever remove it. So you see I must go. I hear voices in my head calling for me. Prue. Cole. Ben. Melinda. They all call me. I'm almost amazed that Melinda would want me, but she, just like her parents, has a warm heart that forgives easily. She knows what I did was wrong and she says she misses you terribly, but she's okay up there. It's getting hard for me to concentrate, they drown out everything that goes on around me, even the thoughts within my head.
Piper, I love you. I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused you and Leo. Please see it in your heart to forgive me. Thanks for always being there and helping me through life. I'll miss you greatly. Never forget me.
Paige, although I only knew you for a short time, you were wonderful. We shared many memories that I hope you will always remember. Take care of Piper okay. You and Leo will be all she has left. I love you babe!
Leo, again I plead for you to forgive me. I was an idiot to do what I did. Take care of my sisters please and while you're at it, give Piper another baby. She deserves to experience that joy again. You both deserve a child. And make sure to tell them about their aunts, both Prue and I. Also tell them about Melinda. And if you feel you want to, tell them about Cole and Ben as well. But whatever you do just let them know of me, the good me, not the one you did these terrible things.
To all of you, all I ask before I go is one thing. Please leave me next to the maple tree....
I will love you all forever!
~Phoebe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tears now streaming down my face I fold the letter and proceed to the bathroom. Placing the letter on top of the toilet I turn toward the sink and turn on the faucet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Piper, Paige and Leo;
I know a lot has happened in the past few days and that what I'm about to do will just make it worse, but it's what must be done. You all wondered who had taken your precious angel from your grasp. Piper you yelled at God, at the Elders, but you forgot to yell at the one person who actually deserved it, me. Uh-huh, I killed Melinda.
I killed her because I hated her, because she stole the space that deserved to be Ben's. Who's Ben you ask? Well if you had cared enough you would have known it was my son. Yes, the one the Seer took from me, the one who was killed. You see even though I only held him within my womb for a month or two those months were the happiest of my life. I was overjoyed to know there was a little someone living within me. And to have him taken away was the worse feeling in the world. Trying to overcome the pain I refrained from interacting with you guys for the weeks that followed his death. Yet once I was ready to let out my feelings and take comfort in your soothing words Piper announced her blissfully awaited pregnancy.
Now what was I to do? I couldn't very well talk about the morbid events of my life when everyone walked around the Manor in a state of complete happiness. And for nine months I hated you Piper. You got to experience that joy I had once felt long ago, but your joy was magnified by a thousand. You actually got to feel your infant move around in your stomach and you were able to proudly display to the world your new status as mother. I couldn't stand you Piper and I wanted you to feel what I had felt, to know what it was like to lose a child.
Remember that one night when you were going to the club and you tripped down the stairs. Everyone had dashed off to the hospital, hoping that the baby was still alive, that is except me. I was at work and for some reason my phones were busy. Did you all think that was pure coincidence? Of course not, you see I had been the one to trip you and being too ashamed to see you I waited till I got home that night from work to "hear about what happened." That had been my first attempt to kill the baby. Unsuccessful I did attempt many times after. How about the time you got sick from that ice tea or when you swore that in the middle of the night someone had tried to strangle you? Those were all me. Each attempt had failed, but each time I got smarter. Eventually I decided to wait for conception. However, I couldn't make it too obvious, so I waited, two weeks to be exact. I just causally walked into her room and suffocated her with her own pillow. I was relieved to have her dead and couldn't have cared less that Piper and Leo were distressed. But today I saw her for the first time since I had killed her. Her pretty pink dress placed on her cold body, color gently showing through her once blue complexion. It made me depressed. I had finally realized that what I did was wrong.
Now my body is torn inside. My emotions being pulled every which way. It hurts to eat, to sleep, to talk, to breathe. I can't go on like this, it's only been a measly six hours since I saw her and already I can't stand myself. I look in the mirror and see the face of a murderer. I try to wash my hands of the dirt, but it's forever there. No amount of washing will ever remove it. So you see I must go. I hear voices in my head calling for me. Prue. Cole. Ben. Melinda. They all call me. I'm almost amazed that Melinda would want me, but she, just like her parents, has a warm heart that forgives easily. She knows what I did was wrong and she says she misses you terribly, but she's okay up there. It's getting hard for me to concentrate, they drown out everything that goes on around me, even the thoughts within my head.
Piper, I love you. I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused you and Leo. Please see it in your heart to forgive me. Thanks for always being there and helping me through life. I'll miss you greatly. Never forget me.
Paige, although I only knew you for a short time, you were wonderful. We shared many memories that I hope you will always remember. Take care of Piper okay. You and Leo will be all she has left. I love you babe!
Leo, again I plead for you to forgive me. I was an idiot to do what I did. Take care of my sisters please and while you're at it, give Piper another baby. She deserves to experience that joy again. You both deserve a child. And make sure to tell them about their aunts, both Prue and I. Also tell them about Melinda. And if you feel you want to, tell them about Cole and Ben as well. But whatever you do just let them know of me, the good me, not the one you did these terrible things.
To all of you, all I ask before I go is one thing. Please leave me next to the maple tree....
I will love you all forever!
~Phoebe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tears now streaming down my face I fold the letter and proceed to the bathroom. Placing the letter on top of the toilet I turn toward the sink and turn on the faucet.