A/N: My first attempt to do a sad Takari! Which right now I'm telling you that it could be a little rubbish! Just a pre warning! Well you all know what I'm about to say… read and review! I would greatly appreciate you reading this! Thanks~*
Disclaimer: I don't own digimon nor do I want to!
"My heart beats for your love"
By: Courage
I waited with excitement going through my body, understanding why my anticipation was conceding me with all its power, that I grabbed a picture of me and Kari and looked at it… Its been 5 years of friendship that has brought us this far and one day, I'm hoping that our friendship will grow into more than what was being held…
I sighed as I felt a grin spread across my face and my eyes sifted toward the clock, 6:00pm… dad might be a few minutes late but normally he always was, so it wasn't something new that I wasn't looking to, but I was hoping to spend more time with him before he had to leave to go to Tokyo for business reasons…
I laid the picture of me and Kari down and leaned back on my bed and looked up at the ceiling feeling that grin that was on my face turn into a frown… something wasn't feeling right. I'm not sure why but it just felt like something was… wrong!
I sighed and sat back up and unpacked my things to see if I got all my necessary items I needed… none the less I had everything, but to stall time I turned my computer on and checked my e-mail… as it took a few minutes to get my mail I looked back at the time… 6:30.
Where could he be? Its not like dad to be this late! I began to think that maybe dad forgot to come and get me, but dad would never do a thing like that! At least I hope he wouldn't do anything like that!
I looked over at the phone that was in my room waiting for it to ring, ring and let it be dad at the other end of the phone telling me that he was on his way here to pick me up and that traffic or work was what made him late…
I looked back over at the time… now it was fifteen minutes till 7... Maybe I was being to drastic with my father being late but, he promised me not a minute late! And now his not a minute late has became almost a full hour late!
I put my head down and walked out into the living room and plopped down on the couch… I looked at the television and flipped it on… advertisement great I had thought flipping through the channels to find something good to watch… but nothing was worth willing to watch, maybe because I was a bit nerves and a bit mad! He promised and now he's braking his promise! I can't believe he would do this to me… again!
It wasn't dad's first time of ever canceling a night to spend with me, there was those many times he did! I didn't want to believe that dad never wanted to spend time with me but now, well now looking at it… he's been disappointing me, and I hate him for it! Leaving me in the cold and not worrying that I'm sitting here wanting to visit him and spend time with him, but no… he doesn't come to be with the son he can't ever see…
(Riiiiiing)
As the telephone ranged I looked at it… shocked from out of my thought of how mad I was with dad that just maybe, just maybe, it could be him telling me that he will be here in a few minutes late…
I quickly picked the phone up and held it to my ear, " Hello?" I said with a calm voice…
" T.K, this is your mom."
" Mom?" I said with a confused voice but noticed in her own voice that there was something wrong… " What is it? I'm waiting for dad." I had said looking out the window as a car creped by… anticipating that, that could have been dad, but it wasn't…
" It's about your father… He-he…" She paused, as a small sob escaped her throat…
I felt a knot grow in my throat, not sure why though but it stung as mom had to say it was something about dad… I wasn't for sure if I was ready to hear the fact that he can't make it and that he'll promise some other day, " Mom just tell me already!" I said trying to maintain a calm voice and not get over worked…
" Your fathers been killed T.K by an head on collision."
Her words struck me. It felt like I was smacked across the face, with a 4 by 4 or a metal bar… I felt tears fill my eyes…
" T.K… are you okay? T.K are you there?" Mom said with a sniffle.
I choked, " Yeah I'm fine." I said without my eyes blinking… all the things I could of done with dad and I never got the chance… why? Why did he had to be the one to die? Why does everything bad have to happen to me? Why can't it happen to someone else?
" Well I'll be home in a few minutes, okay? Will you be alright T.K?"
" Yeah." I said slowly putting down the telephone and looked outside as a blare began to form in my eyes… I lied to my mom, I wasn't okay, how could anyone be okay in this circumstance?
He can't be, I wont allow it! He's my father! MY FATHER! I had thought, as I felt the slender tears go down my cheek… he's dead, and its all my fault! I was the one who brought this to him… I'm the one who made him die! He wouldn't be dead because of me! He would have been still alive…
But now he's gone only because I wanted to spend time with him… I berried my head in my hands, and let my tears pour out of my eyes and left them fall on the palm of my hands…
" T-T.K?" A voice said that was from a distance… minutes must of passed or it could be hours… at that point I didn't care what had passed, because to me it was to painful to face…
I sniffled and looked up at Kari who stood in the door way… I Must have been crying to hard to hear her knock or opening the door…
She looked at me and sat down right next to me… mom must had told her, because she knew that I was heading to dads today… I shook my head in disbelief, " This is all my fault Kari, he wouldn't be gone if it wasn't for me wanting to spend time with him."
" T.K, don't say that! You can't be thinking that way! T.K… please don't do this to yourself." Her words where clammy and hurtful, but she was baring her own pain of crying…
" Kari it's not that easy." I said as I felt a tear crept down the side of my cheek…
" T.K, it's not easy losing someone you love, but it's not your fault."
" What do you know Kari? You get to spend time with both of your parents and you also have both of your parents!" My words was harsh and wrong, yes. But I just wanted to be left alone… I didn't want anyone there with me at the moment!
She gave me a hurt look, " T.K…"
" Kari will you just… leave me alone please?" I asked looking away from her not wanting to look at her.
I felt her gaze upon me… I might not be able to see the tears that cross her cheeks but I knew she had those tears building in her… " If that's what you want T.K, but when your ready… will you please talk to me or someone? I don't want you to think this is your fault."
It was my fault, Damn it! Why does it have to be this way? Why could I live a normal teenage life? With a family to love and a family that would be there for one another? Why couldn't my parent's get along, if they did this wouldn't of ever occurred!
I gulped… I wanted this sorrow feeling to pass me… I want this to be a dream and the next morning when I get up there would be dad at the other end of the phone line telling me that he's sorry for being late again and that he'll make it up to me next time!
Kari began to rub my back trying to calm me down a little… I looked over at her, I knew I told her to leave but now looking at her I need her the most, and however much my heart will be hurt I know she'd be there for me as I'd be there for her… but I have to hear it for myself…
She gave me a weak grin and tears streaked down her own cream colored face. I could tell that what I was feeling was the way she was… I embraced her in my arms and we both cried… letting out the tears that was building in both of us.
The feeling of her warm tears going through my shirt, mad me feel even worse… the more times me and her shared together as digi-destines was the most thing that would stay in my thoughts… the promise I made to Tai on keeping her safe was still stayed with me to this very day, I wasn't going to let anything hurt her nor anyone else around me! My families been going through a lot and let a lone… this had to come to use!
" T.K… tell me you wont do anything stupid? Tell me that you will quit blaming yourself for this action that wasn't your fault?" She said looking up at me…
Where was she going with this? She's my best friends yes, but why would she think I'd do something stupid? I couldn't help but think that she was as more worried about me than anyone else… I only needed time to think this all out, but I want her there, I need her there…
I choked, " Kari, You have my word. But will you be there for me?" I had asked looking at her and I knew that I had to keep my word, and I wont do anything to regret hurting Kari, or any of my other friends but right now… she meant everything to me… right now, I needed a good friend…
She sniffled and nodded her head… and sobbed.
" Kari… how did you hear about dad?" I asked watching as her hand came up and laid on my left cheek, feeling the moistness of her hand from tears that was blending with my own…
" It-It was on the news T.K."
I nodded looking down at the couch… " I never got to tell him."
"Tell him what T.K?" Kari asked with confusion in her girlish voice that crackled as she talked…
" How much he was a good father to me and Matt, I never got to see dad much, maybe once or twice a year and well he would always try his hardest to make me and Matt proud of him." I said with a weak voice…
" He did, didn't he?"
" He did… but I never got the chance to tell him thank you in person, nor have I yet had the chance to tell him that I-I love him." The words rolled off my tongue… it was hurtful but I had to bare the pain…
" T.K, your father was always proud of you and Matt, he loved you both and he knew you both loved him also."
That large knot grew harder, and my tears fell once more across my cheeks… why can't this sorrow feeling leave me? Why does it hurt so much? I had thought… but I said, " How do I know that? How do you know that?" I asked feeling her hand that was on my cheek drop down and wrapped into my own hand…
" T.K, your dad has been at your basketball games. But he never could stay long… a father would try every minute to spend time with there child or children."
Her words where like wounds that where deepening at ever spare minute… the thought of dad passing away, I just wondered… did he have to suffer like most collisions? Did he die with suffrage?
Thinking about those made me angry… god wasn't suppose to bring me down! I had enough trouble with my life and he took the biggest part of me! My own father! My father, the one who I couldn't ask for more besides his friendship! My best friend in one since! My only reason of showing how much I try at the things I do, the one who was there from the beginning when I was born! But now, now that inspiration has left me…
( *3 year later after the death of T.K's father*)
" Come on T.K! Lets go!"
" Go where?" I asked looking at Kari as I sat on the bench of the high school lunch table, waiting for basketball practice to start in a few minutes…
" Well, you could use the extra time away from school, since you basically live here!" She said grabbing hold of my arm giving it a yank…
I shook my head with a small grin spreading across my face… " Kari, I don't feel like being late to go to basketball practice!" I said looking at her.
" Oh come on Takeru, your not going to be late! Come on! It'll do us both some good to get out of school for a little bit!" She said giving another tug on my arm…
" Kari…"
" Please…" She said as she gave me her puppy dog eyes and a small pout went across her lips…
I looked down at the table and felt my cheeks blush tremendously, " Okay I guess." I said looking at her…
A grin spread across her face and a giggle escaped her throat…
I looked at her as she wrapped her hand around my arm as we began to walk out of the school area… " What's so funny Hikari?" I asked a bit confused…
" Nothing." She said looking down at her feet as we walked.
" Uh-huh, sure… is that why you can't resist the temptation of laughing? What are you planning on doing to me?" I asked.
" Why would you think I have something planned to do to you?" She asked looking up at me with a wicked and wild grin…
" Because I know you! I know you way to long matter of fact!" I said with a small sigh looking a-head of us…
" And what do you mean by that Takeru Takaishi? Are you saying that you wish not to know me?" She asked.
" NO!! I don't mean it like that! I mean- I *Groans*"
" Well then what is it?" She asked as we walked into the park and took a seat under a tree where the lake was glittering from the evening sun that was going down…
I felt my face flush with red, I couldn't tell her how I felt about her… not yet, not here… " Kari, can we go to my father grave site together?" I asked looking at her… It would be the first time I went there since he passed away… I never wanted to go over there until I'm ready… even right now I'm not quite sure if I'm ready…
She looked at me, with a frown on her face she nodded her head, " I'll go with you T.K, if that's what you want." She said looking at me…
The grave site wasn't fare from the park, and I have to over come the fear…no matter how much I didn't want to…
I nodded and slowly gotten up from only or minute of sitting and hold my hand out to the girl sitting down on the green grass and helped her up…
As we walked hand in hand we walked to the grave site… looking at the head stone that was picked for my father I knelt down and cleaned the mud that was crusted over the face of it and sighed… " With all memories and love" was in-scripted on the tomb stone… I felt the tears grow in my eyes and got up…
I stuck my hand in my pocket feeling around for something, something that I wanted to give Kari… but not sure if she would accept it…
" Kari I have something to ask you…" I said looking at her as I found what I was looking for…
" Yeah T.K?" She sounded confused but looked at me with her eyes glimmering as the sun betted down in her eyes… god I love her…
I sighed looking down and looked around to make sure no one was near by… No one was, it was all clear…
" You know how we've been going out for 3 years now? And well this is our last year of high school and everything?" I asked looking at her…
" Are you saying you want to break up with me T.K?" She asked as tears filled her eyes…
My eyes widen, " NO! Never!"
" Well then what is it?" She asked with a choke…
" Will you marry me? I know this might not be the greatest place to be asking you that but I want to live with you to the end Kari Kamiya!" I asked looking at her holding the ring out as I looked at her… I hope her answer will be the answer that I want to hear… I love her so much that I couldn't see myself with another girl… I don't even look at another girl like I do her… she means more than this world!
Tears went down her cheek's as her eyes flickered down to the ring, and she hugged me… The feeling of her being close to me made tears cross down my own cheek… I knew that no matter what, I'd love her always!
The end!
Author note:
(1) Okay I notice that I have some errors in this, yes! What those errors are is Matt's feelings! How was his reaction toward his fathers death! I know I might of not wrote them, but I would imagine you all would know quite well what he would be like! My apology!
(2) I'm not going on! *Runs under bed and takes cover* I know I know! It's a bad spot to stop at! But Hey, I could go on! Depends on how many reviews I get!
(3) You know what to do!………….review!