DC: I in no way own Voldemort or the Harry Potter series. I own myself and
this plot. Other than that, I don't even own Andi, and she's one of my best
friends. Also, Spike is a registered character from Buffy: The Vampire
Slayer, so I don't own him.
SUMMARY: Two best friends, walking to the movies to see (what else!) CoS (for the second time, of course), encounter the unexpected. Contains no real spoilers for the HP series, but does have Spike from Buffy making a cameo appearance...
"Lyn, LYN!" Andi yelled.
"Wha... what?" I asked.
"Chamber of Secrets or Die Another Day?" Andi asked as we walked through the cold air to the theater.
"Chamber of Secrets. No contest."
"You have been reading up on your school's history," a man noted, who stepped in front of us. His dark hair was slicked back on his head. A set of dark ebony robes with a single green serpent on the chest were his clothing.
" 'School history'?" Andi asked.
"You are witches. I can tell," he answered, his eyes squeezed into tight slants.
"We aren't witches," I said, and tried to walk away.
"I see. You're wandless."
"Actually, we have five minutes before the previews start, so if you'd please," Andi said and tried to pass him to no avail. He pulled out a stick of wood and stuck it in his right hand.
"Whoa, cool!" I said and grabbed it from his hand, swinging it around.
"Spike... in a G-string!" I announced. The wind swirled around me as sparks emitted from the stick.
"For Merlin's sake, don't you know the right spell?" he asked, as the winds stopped. "Do a Summoning Charm. It'll do the trick."
I stared at him, then at the stick.
"Say 'Accio' whatever it is you want. You've been skipping class, haven't you?" he asked.
"Okay... Accio Spike!" I said, halfheartedly.
The winds picked up again, as the picture of Spike flowed through my head. They swirled together, forming a whole being.
Spike stood in front of us, his bleached blonde hair falling to the sides of his face, clad only in a G-string and his traditional leather duster.
"AAAAHHHHH!" he cried, putting his right arm over his chest and his left frantically covering his lower torso.
The man looked positively green as he cowered under a bush.
"Must... get... image... out... of... head..."
"Give me that," Andi mumbled, snatching the 'wand' from my hand. She thought intensely for a moment and the G-string was covered with leather pants and a white t-shirt. He looked down and felt confident to remove his arms from his torso.
"Give it back!" I complained. I retrieved the wand from her hand and thought again, this time, the picture was more vivid in my head. The G- string re-emerged as he looked down again.
"AAAAHHHHHH!" he cried again. This happened over and over again for half an hour, completely missing the begining of the movie.
"Stop!" Spike cried, wearing the G-string and the leather jacket and shirt. The guy stepped forward.
"Please! I've heard of women who fancy men before, but this has gone out of hand. First I must introduce myself. I am Lord Voldemort, and I assume this is... Spike?" he asked, stepping out of the bush. Spike nodded his head and looked at him sheepishly, now wearing nothing but the leather pants.
"You see, you must be witches," Voldemort said.
"No way! You're Voldie? We're not witches, we're just going to see Chamber of Secrets at the movies!" Andi exclaimed.
"You see, the Chamber is a known legend in our world, so I'm surprised you know of its location," Voldie said.
"A little help, please?" Spike asked, sheepishly, showing his English accent. Voldie took his wand and waved it, muttering something. Spike was suddenly wearing jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt and his trademark leather duster.
"Spoil all the fun, why doncha?" I asked, starting a mock pout. Voldie looked put out.
"We aren't witches, how many times do we have to tell you?" I pretended to sob.
"Listen, stop cryin' and maybe we can figure this out," Spike said.
"If I stop cryin', will you wear the G-string?" I sobbed. Spike looked around, shaking his head. My 'sobbing' increased dramatically.
"Is there anywhere we can go that's inside?" he asked. "Bloody women's panties and they want me to wear the buggers. If Harris saw me now, I'd never live it down," he muttered to himself.
"Oh, yeah," Andi said, sarcastically. We walked to her house and into the garage.
I immediately stopped 'crying' and took Voldie's wand from him, turning the outfit once again into the G-string. Spike sighed and sat down on a couch cushion, of which there was many in there. I sat on one next to him.
Suddenly the garage door opened, and Andi's brother Shane walked in, carting his bike. Seeing Spike, still scantily clad...
"AAAAAHHHHHH! I just thought you were saying 'Spike in a G-string' to get me out of Andi's room!" he cried.
"Shut up!" I cried, sheepishly.
"Oh, yeah. Voldie, meet Shane. Shane, it looks as if you've already met Spike," Andi said, halfheartedly.
Shane cowered away from the figure of Spike, yet still maintained not to fall out the door.
"Would you at least let me wear a blanket or something?" Spike asked me.
"Never!" I cried. Andi rebbuttled, grabbing the wand. Suddenly, he was covered in a purple fleece blanket with blue, purple and yellow stars, blue clouds and yellow and blue moons.
"You remembered!" I exclaimed.
"Remembered what?" Spike asked, wrapping himself up.
"That blanket's mine!" Spike stared at me sheepishly.
"Look, we're not witches! Never have, never will be. Besides, we're in high school already, and I doubt that Hogwarts is a college, 'cause there wouldn't be much room for a librarian there!" I added.
"Madam Pince is there, and she is head of the library staff," Voldie said.
"This is too much for me!" Shane cried, thrusting open the door and rushing through it to their house.
"There goes the only one who can contest for us," Andi muttered.
"Nonsense! You just haven't been trained! I saw you with my wand!" Voldie said. Just then, a fire emerged in the center of the garage.
"VOLDEMORT!" a voice rumbled. Two men, dressed much like Voldie stepped out of the green smoke.
"You're wrong. According to the Decree of Muggle Parentage, a Muggle can have children able to show signs of magic, but not of enough to measure. Take that, Snake Tongue!" one of the men cried, wearing an old tattered hat with strands of red poking from under it.
"Arthur, please. Anyways, it reads: 'Any Muggle born childe may show signs of magical influence, such as knowledge of magic through the media, and still he or she must have eighty percent of the equivelent of magic in their blood. In any case, there must be signs of magic before a child reaches it's twelve year mark, or they would be regarded as a 'Squib' in our world. Although they may show signs of power after the twelve years, it is not enough to be sent to a wizarding school, such as Hogwarts, Durmstrang or Beaubaxtons'," the other read, stroking his long white beard.
"So it's all a big misunderstanding?" Andi asked.
"Of course. If you had enough magical experience before the age of twelve, you would've been sent to an American academy for training. However, your influence only actually started in the past couple of years and it was after your twelve years were up," the graying man added.
"So I'm not losing my mind? They have signs of powers, but not enough to use?" Voldie asked. The two men grabbed something from pouches at their waists and threw it down on the floor, chanting something about 'diagonally'.
Voldie raised his arm to send Spike back. I stopped him just in time.
"Not this one!" I cried.
"Hey, no fair! What about me?" Andi asked. I snatched Voldie's wand and swung it around. Oliver Wood appeared, clad only in a G-string.
"Thank you!" Andi cried to Voldie as he dissapeared.
"What are we going to do with a couple of guys?" I asked. Andi and I stared at each other for a moment as Oliver groped for another blanket. A grin spread across our faces...
"Oh Spike..."
"Oh, Oliver..."
AN: PLEASE NOTE THAT I DO NOT OWN SPIKE, OLIVER WOOD OR THE HARRY POTTER WORLD.
(If I did, I'd a.) be rich. b.) be married to Spike (but I'd still rather have Alex Band!) and c.) give Oliver Wood to Andi.)
SUMMARY: Two best friends, walking to the movies to see (what else!) CoS (for the second time, of course), encounter the unexpected. Contains no real spoilers for the HP series, but does have Spike from Buffy making a cameo appearance...
"Lyn, LYN!" Andi yelled.
"Wha... what?" I asked.
"Chamber of Secrets or Die Another Day?" Andi asked as we walked through the cold air to the theater.
"Chamber of Secrets. No contest."
"You have been reading up on your school's history," a man noted, who stepped in front of us. His dark hair was slicked back on his head. A set of dark ebony robes with a single green serpent on the chest were his clothing.
" 'School history'?" Andi asked.
"You are witches. I can tell," he answered, his eyes squeezed into tight slants.
"We aren't witches," I said, and tried to walk away.
"I see. You're wandless."
"Actually, we have five minutes before the previews start, so if you'd please," Andi said and tried to pass him to no avail. He pulled out a stick of wood and stuck it in his right hand.
"Whoa, cool!" I said and grabbed it from his hand, swinging it around.
"Spike... in a G-string!" I announced. The wind swirled around me as sparks emitted from the stick.
"For Merlin's sake, don't you know the right spell?" he asked, as the winds stopped. "Do a Summoning Charm. It'll do the trick."
I stared at him, then at the stick.
"Say 'Accio' whatever it is you want. You've been skipping class, haven't you?" he asked.
"Okay... Accio Spike!" I said, halfheartedly.
The winds picked up again, as the picture of Spike flowed through my head. They swirled together, forming a whole being.
Spike stood in front of us, his bleached blonde hair falling to the sides of his face, clad only in a G-string and his traditional leather duster.
"AAAAHHHHH!" he cried, putting his right arm over his chest and his left frantically covering his lower torso.
The man looked positively green as he cowered under a bush.
"Must... get... image... out... of... head..."
"Give me that," Andi mumbled, snatching the 'wand' from my hand. She thought intensely for a moment and the G-string was covered with leather pants and a white t-shirt. He looked down and felt confident to remove his arms from his torso.
"Give it back!" I complained. I retrieved the wand from her hand and thought again, this time, the picture was more vivid in my head. The G- string re-emerged as he looked down again.
"AAAAHHHHHH!" he cried again. This happened over and over again for half an hour, completely missing the begining of the movie.
"Stop!" Spike cried, wearing the G-string and the leather jacket and shirt. The guy stepped forward.
"Please! I've heard of women who fancy men before, but this has gone out of hand. First I must introduce myself. I am Lord Voldemort, and I assume this is... Spike?" he asked, stepping out of the bush. Spike nodded his head and looked at him sheepishly, now wearing nothing but the leather pants.
"You see, you must be witches," Voldemort said.
"No way! You're Voldie? We're not witches, we're just going to see Chamber of Secrets at the movies!" Andi exclaimed.
"You see, the Chamber is a known legend in our world, so I'm surprised you know of its location," Voldie said.
"A little help, please?" Spike asked, sheepishly, showing his English accent. Voldie took his wand and waved it, muttering something. Spike was suddenly wearing jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt and his trademark leather duster.
"Spoil all the fun, why doncha?" I asked, starting a mock pout. Voldie looked put out.
"We aren't witches, how many times do we have to tell you?" I pretended to sob.
"Listen, stop cryin' and maybe we can figure this out," Spike said.
"If I stop cryin', will you wear the G-string?" I sobbed. Spike looked around, shaking his head. My 'sobbing' increased dramatically.
"Is there anywhere we can go that's inside?" he asked. "Bloody women's panties and they want me to wear the buggers. If Harris saw me now, I'd never live it down," he muttered to himself.
"Oh, yeah," Andi said, sarcastically. We walked to her house and into the garage.
I immediately stopped 'crying' and took Voldie's wand from him, turning the outfit once again into the G-string. Spike sighed and sat down on a couch cushion, of which there was many in there. I sat on one next to him.
Suddenly the garage door opened, and Andi's brother Shane walked in, carting his bike. Seeing Spike, still scantily clad...
"AAAAAHHHHHH! I just thought you were saying 'Spike in a G-string' to get me out of Andi's room!" he cried.
"Shut up!" I cried, sheepishly.
"Oh, yeah. Voldie, meet Shane. Shane, it looks as if you've already met Spike," Andi said, halfheartedly.
Shane cowered away from the figure of Spike, yet still maintained not to fall out the door.
"Would you at least let me wear a blanket or something?" Spike asked me.
"Never!" I cried. Andi rebbuttled, grabbing the wand. Suddenly, he was covered in a purple fleece blanket with blue, purple and yellow stars, blue clouds and yellow and blue moons.
"You remembered!" I exclaimed.
"Remembered what?" Spike asked, wrapping himself up.
"That blanket's mine!" Spike stared at me sheepishly.
"Look, we're not witches! Never have, never will be. Besides, we're in high school already, and I doubt that Hogwarts is a college, 'cause there wouldn't be much room for a librarian there!" I added.
"Madam Pince is there, and she is head of the library staff," Voldie said.
"This is too much for me!" Shane cried, thrusting open the door and rushing through it to their house.
"There goes the only one who can contest for us," Andi muttered.
"Nonsense! You just haven't been trained! I saw you with my wand!" Voldie said. Just then, a fire emerged in the center of the garage.
"VOLDEMORT!" a voice rumbled. Two men, dressed much like Voldie stepped out of the green smoke.
"You're wrong. According to the Decree of Muggle Parentage, a Muggle can have children able to show signs of magic, but not of enough to measure. Take that, Snake Tongue!" one of the men cried, wearing an old tattered hat with strands of red poking from under it.
"Arthur, please. Anyways, it reads: 'Any Muggle born childe may show signs of magical influence, such as knowledge of magic through the media, and still he or she must have eighty percent of the equivelent of magic in their blood. In any case, there must be signs of magic before a child reaches it's twelve year mark, or they would be regarded as a 'Squib' in our world. Although they may show signs of power after the twelve years, it is not enough to be sent to a wizarding school, such as Hogwarts, Durmstrang or Beaubaxtons'," the other read, stroking his long white beard.
"So it's all a big misunderstanding?" Andi asked.
"Of course. If you had enough magical experience before the age of twelve, you would've been sent to an American academy for training. However, your influence only actually started in the past couple of years and it was after your twelve years were up," the graying man added.
"So I'm not losing my mind? They have signs of powers, but not enough to use?" Voldie asked. The two men grabbed something from pouches at their waists and threw it down on the floor, chanting something about 'diagonally'.
Voldie raised his arm to send Spike back. I stopped him just in time.
"Not this one!" I cried.
"Hey, no fair! What about me?" Andi asked. I snatched Voldie's wand and swung it around. Oliver Wood appeared, clad only in a G-string.
"Thank you!" Andi cried to Voldie as he dissapeared.
"What are we going to do with a couple of guys?" I asked. Andi and I stared at each other for a moment as Oliver groped for another blanket. A grin spread across our faces...
"Oh Spike..."
"Oh, Oliver..."
AN: PLEASE NOTE THAT I DO NOT OWN SPIKE, OLIVER WOOD OR THE HARRY POTTER WORLD.
(If I did, I'd a.) be rich. b.) be married to Spike (but I'd still rather have Alex Band!) and c.) give Oliver Wood to Andi.)