This is a lemon. Do not read if you suck. No pun intended.
A/N: All characters are of age. Because we said so.
So. Dumble-dude and Fluffy are in a room. Hagar had left Fluffy in Dumbledude's care, as Hagar had a massive erection and had to .. go take care of it. ( Note: An erection is also a type of.. animal. ) (Note: This is only in Hagrid's case, because his erections are overly furry.) Alright. Back to Dumbledude. And the dog.
Dumbledude decides to make Fluffy some dinner, as it is three days after Hagar's "sick leave", and he has not yet remembered to feed the mongrel. (Some headmaster.. note, there are a lot of other things that come to mind when I hear the word "headmaster".) (Such as.. fellatio.)
Dumbledude empties a can of "viagrachow" (The foreplay-meal of champion.. dogs) into Fluffy's shiny siiilver bowl. Dumblecracker is very old. He has not had sex in a long time. Even dogs are starting to look sexually appealing. And, as he's the headmaster, the fact that it has three heads is all the more arousing. I mean, there's...three of them.
Dumbledore sniffs the air. It smells.. so.. tantalizingly meaty. He takes a bite of Viagrachow. It is not yummy. And man, did he need it. Yay. Fluffy was kinda pissed off, I mean, who wants some old white saggy guy eating your Viagrachow?
Dumbledude pulls down his pants. Fluffy was frightened, as there seemed to be some animal living down there. (Note: He has long hair and a beard. You get the picture, even if you don't want to.) Bumblebore grabbed some rope from the wall, but before he could reach the huge sex-crazed beast, he tripped and fell into a conviently placed vat of molasses. Apparantly there were some chains within this vat, and Dumblebore was fairly stuck.
Enter: Hot lesbians, Hermione and Ginny. (Or, perhaps, Harry in disguise. We always knew he was a little.. off. And when I say off, I mean lacking.) Doublemint, being the disturbing psycho old dude he is, was utterly turned off by the hot lesbian action taking place just behind him. Two horny naked girls getting themselves off with vibrating broomsticks marketed by Mattel? Sufficiently un-arousing. So Dildodore turned back to the three headed dog. Who had actually been fingering his ass for the past several minutes, he just had failed to notice. (Note: Dogs do not have fingers.)
Fluffy was sad. Dildobore had not noticed his mad fingering skills. Alas! Then again, is fingering your ass really going to accomplish anything? Go cream your panties somewhere else. Now, even though the dirty lesbians getting it on behind him had turned him off, the sight of the poor pathetic oversized mutt looking so.. poorly pathetic was enough to arouse the old, saggy white man.
Oh. Right. Nearly forgot that Dumbledire was submerged in a vat of molasses being held down by chains. Percy, who happened to walk in just then, kicked his naked younger sister out of the way and walked over to the naked headmaster, who was still rotting in that damn vat of molasses. He began to "suck up", as usual. Poor Fluffy was jealous and, after the vat was beginning to fill with Doublecum rather than molasses, ate Percy. And since you can't really eat him out, he just ate him. And swallowed, of course. This violent act of violence aroused Dumbledof further. He couldn't help himself.
Now, as Fluffy is a giant three headed dog, and Cumbledore is a saggy old white man, the poor mutt couldn't feel much as the old guy tried to take him up the ass. (Note: Poor doggy.) Faking an orgasm, the poor overworked brute removed the old guy with a flick of his tail, sending him smack into the middle of the hot lesbian sex. Hermaphroiny had already taken out the whips and chains and such, much to Ginny's pleasure (and pain?), so poor Dumbledick was awfully distraught. It didn't help that Harry, Ron, Draco, Snape, and that Cho-girl had somehow ended up in there too. (Note: Dumbledude didn't really mind Harry being in there, dispite earlier comments that may have been made during this fine literary work.)
Doublecock, being covered in molasses and himself, found it fairly easy to slip out of the orgy that was ensuing. Unfortunatly, he found himself in the grasp of Hagrid the Hagar (who never shaves/bathes/does anything but look at porn). Poor, poor Hagrid. He was very confused.
"Ye gots te wiggle ye fingers when ye does it!" He screamed, trying to hear himself over the noise. Patting Dumblefork on the head, he walked out of the room with a big smile. Unfortunatly for the others present, Hagaridif tripped on a stick of butter and fell down, his large ass enveloping them all. Not noticing much, or bothering to move, Hagdolf reached for the remote and began to watch a 48 hour porn marathon on PBS, taking the hours worth of ads to find himself some Viagrachow.
The End.
By Dan-Dan, Joe, and ED. And Hitler too.
A/N: All characters are of age. Because we said so.
So. Dumble-dude and Fluffy are in a room. Hagar had left Fluffy in Dumbledude's care, as Hagar had a massive erection and had to .. go take care of it. ( Note: An erection is also a type of.. animal. ) (Note: This is only in Hagrid's case, because his erections are overly furry.) Alright. Back to Dumbledude. And the dog.
Dumbledude decides to make Fluffy some dinner, as it is three days after Hagar's "sick leave", and he has not yet remembered to feed the mongrel. (Some headmaster.. note, there are a lot of other things that come to mind when I hear the word "headmaster".) (Such as.. fellatio.)
Dumbledude empties a can of "viagrachow" (The foreplay-meal of champion.. dogs) into Fluffy's shiny siiilver bowl. Dumblecracker is very old. He has not had sex in a long time. Even dogs are starting to look sexually appealing. And, as he's the headmaster, the fact that it has three heads is all the more arousing. I mean, there's...three of them.
Dumbledore sniffs the air. It smells.. so.. tantalizingly meaty. He takes a bite of Viagrachow. It is not yummy. And man, did he need it. Yay. Fluffy was kinda pissed off, I mean, who wants some old white saggy guy eating your Viagrachow?
Dumbledude pulls down his pants. Fluffy was frightened, as there seemed to be some animal living down there. (Note: He has long hair and a beard. You get the picture, even if you don't want to.) Bumblebore grabbed some rope from the wall, but before he could reach the huge sex-crazed beast, he tripped and fell into a conviently placed vat of molasses. Apparantly there were some chains within this vat, and Dumblebore was fairly stuck.
Enter: Hot lesbians, Hermione and Ginny. (Or, perhaps, Harry in disguise. We always knew he was a little.. off. And when I say off, I mean lacking.) Doublemint, being the disturbing psycho old dude he is, was utterly turned off by the hot lesbian action taking place just behind him. Two horny naked girls getting themselves off with vibrating broomsticks marketed by Mattel? Sufficiently un-arousing. So Dildodore turned back to the three headed dog. Who had actually been fingering his ass for the past several minutes, he just had failed to notice. (Note: Dogs do not have fingers.)
Fluffy was sad. Dildobore had not noticed his mad fingering skills. Alas! Then again, is fingering your ass really going to accomplish anything? Go cream your panties somewhere else. Now, even though the dirty lesbians getting it on behind him had turned him off, the sight of the poor pathetic oversized mutt looking so.. poorly pathetic was enough to arouse the old, saggy white man.
Oh. Right. Nearly forgot that Dumbledire was submerged in a vat of molasses being held down by chains. Percy, who happened to walk in just then, kicked his naked younger sister out of the way and walked over to the naked headmaster, who was still rotting in that damn vat of molasses. He began to "suck up", as usual. Poor Fluffy was jealous and, after the vat was beginning to fill with Doublecum rather than molasses, ate Percy. And since you can't really eat him out, he just ate him. And swallowed, of course. This violent act of violence aroused Dumbledof further. He couldn't help himself.
Now, as Fluffy is a giant three headed dog, and Cumbledore is a saggy old white man, the poor mutt couldn't feel much as the old guy tried to take him up the ass. (Note: Poor doggy.) Faking an orgasm, the poor overworked brute removed the old guy with a flick of his tail, sending him smack into the middle of the hot lesbian sex. Hermaphroiny had already taken out the whips and chains and such, much to Ginny's pleasure (and pain?), so poor Dumbledick was awfully distraught. It didn't help that Harry, Ron, Draco, Snape, and that Cho-girl had somehow ended up in there too. (Note: Dumbledude didn't really mind Harry being in there, dispite earlier comments that may have been made during this fine literary work.)
Doublecock, being covered in molasses and himself, found it fairly easy to slip out of the orgy that was ensuing. Unfortunatly, he found himself in the grasp of Hagrid the Hagar (who never shaves/bathes/does anything but look at porn). Poor, poor Hagrid. He was very confused.
"Ye gots te wiggle ye fingers when ye does it!" He screamed, trying to hear himself over the noise. Patting Dumblefork on the head, he walked out of the room with a big smile. Unfortunatly for the others present, Hagaridif tripped on a stick of butter and fell down, his large ass enveloping them all. Not noticing much, or bothering to move, Hagdolf reached for the remote and began to watch a 48 hour porn marathon on PBS, taking the hours worth of ads to find himself some Viagrachow.
The End.
By Dan-Dan, Joe, and ED. And Hitler too.