Kitty Kasumi - oh wow! You thought it was worth enough to read the next
chapter! Isn't that so cool?
Kasumi's Guardian Dragon - well it is *my* chapter...
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I had to be killed - didn't you know? Don't cry for me anymore. I was sent to fulfill a mission, and I failed - both of them.
The old men had used me in their scenario. They wished for me to create mankind's downfall. That was why I was born.
Before I encountered you, you were nothing more than an obstacle in the way of my mission. But then I met you. Something within me woke up. Something within me made me fall in love with you. That was when you became the object of my affections.
I felt your pain as though it was my own - I wanted it to stop. That was why third Impact had new meaning - it was going to erase your pain and sorrows. It was going to send you into Heaven. I wanted to thank you for making my life meaningful.
But I failed. I wanted you to destroy me because if you had let me live then I would've been destroyed anyway. The men at SEELE had warned me about it. I would've been made to stand in front of your major and get shot. You would've been watching - I know. You would've stood there, powerless to stop her. I would've been able to look straight into your beautiful eyes and see the anguish within them. It would've been torture for both of us.
I love you.
Somehow, I think my death has caused you more pain than before. I have never stopped watching over you - never. I see you trying to escape from your existence. You know that you cannot though, because suicide is an unforgivable sin and therefore we can never be together again. That is why you wait. You wait for the moment when destiny is kind and allows for us to be together again - in death. Forever. I promise that I will never let any pain come to you. I promise that I will never let you go. I promise, I love you. But we will have to wait.
Your smile is now so rare - those around you treasure it when they see it. Your laugh is even more elusive. This pain - I caused it. Guilt now surges through me more powerfully and more constantly than blood. Your eyes - they were a beautiful sapphire - are now hidden behind the very same glasses that hid your father from the world. They cloud over, forever denying anyone access into your soul.
Life - and death - can be very cruel.
Every night, I *do* come down and lie beside you. I wrap my arms around you and lose myself in those midnight blue eyes of yours. You ask for my forgiveness as I ask for yours - I forgave you ever since we met. But I pray that you do not perceive me. I pray that you ignore me, to overlook my presence.
Every night I wrap my arms around someone who doesn't respond. I stare into eyes that look right through me. I speak to deaf ears. My love for you is unnoticed. It hurts, knowing that I am so close to you and at the same time we cannot be any more distant.
Sometimes you do notice. I feel your soul lift its head out of its depression and stare into mine. I feel your body respond in doubt driven by certainty. I see your eyes trying to focus onto mine. It sends a wave of ecstasy, knowing that you respond to me.
But the ecstasy lasts for a fleeting moment, as I am pulled back to my watching spot, unable to come down again. The warmth is gone as cold isolation sweeps through. My death taunts me, being an obstacle between our happiness. It hurts, it really does.
You hide from your memories and it doesn't work - your heart won't let you. It won't let you forget that it's my birthday. You whisper in the darkness - and I want to whisper back.
"I didn't want you to die." I didn't want to either. I run my fingers through your hair, even though you can't notice me, I want to comfort you.
"I tried so hard to forget, now I want to hold on to my memories. Please forgive me for trying to erase you." I feel you relax under my embrace. You *responded* to my action, and yet I am still here, I am still allowed to be by your side. Of course I forgive you - if you could forgive me.
"Why won't you come back to me?" I can't...because I'm not allowed to. My purpose was fulfilled - destiny had no more use for me. I'm sorry, my love. But I swear, we will be together again.
"Promise?" Promise. Wait. Did you just ask me a question? My heart beats furiously with delight as I wrap my arms tightly around you. I promise.
"I would've stopped her from shooting you, Kaworu. I wouldn't have let you died under her doing." I laugh as your love for me deepens with your revelation. You can't cuddle //A/N - such a cute word\\ me back - I am not solid. But I don't care. As long as you know that I am here - as long as you know that I love you.
"Happy birthday," Despite the fact that I am dead; this is the most wonderful birthday ever. Silence reigns as you melt into my arms. I think I've fallen deeper in love with you - if it's possible. As you lift your eyes to meet mine, something happens. To my horror, a familiar feeling rushes through my body as I am returned to my watching spot up above.
My death taunts me more furiously than ever before. It wants me to feel the pain that it causes. I feel it every time that I am separated from you like this. But tonight is different from the other times. Mixed within my sorrow, there is hope. Destiny will overcome the obstacle that death has created. That is because we create our own destiny.
Shinji, I swear that we will be together again. As I look down, I see you discouraged, as you no longer feel my presence. You look up though, straight into my eyes, and utter the words that would fuel my hope for as long as it takes.
"I love you. Aishiteiru, zotto koi."
IN MEMORY OF THE LOVE BETWEEN SHINJI + KAWORU *** the light of hope that shows that there is eternal love in the dark Evangelion world
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ *^*^*^*^
Kasumi's Guardian Dragon - for all you lucky jap literates out there, I know nothing about the last sentence in the *fic*! I have a slight inclination that it just means something like 'I love you forever my darling' #shrugs# I could always be wrong. Anyway, that was a little mushy (what on earth was she going on about 'angsty'?) so #sticks tongue out in disgust#
Kitty Kasumi - #humph# here's a little astrological trivia for you Kaworu devotees out there. Since Kaworu was born on the 13th of September 2000, that makes him a Virgo by western signs and a Dragon by Chinese signs. But you probably knew that already.
To be one of the lucky people who are the most compatible with Kaworu by western signs, you have to be either a fellow Virgo, a Capricorn, a Taurus, or a Gemini. To be compatible by Chinese signs, you have to be either a Snake or a Dragon. *But*, if you're really lucky, you could be a combination of both - like Shinji, who is a Snake *and* a Gemini - pure coincidence, we think not. We don't base our lives on this spiritual stuff, but it is a pretty nifty bit of argument against those who don't believe in the true Evangelion lovers.
Kasumi's Guardian Dragon - well it is *my* chapter...
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ *^*^*^*^
I had to be killed - didn't you know? Don't cry for me anymore. I was sent to fulfill a mission, and I failed - both of them.
The old men had used me in their scenario. They wished for me to create mankind's downfall. That was why I was born.
Before I encountered you, you were nothing more than an obstacle in the way of my mission. But then I met you. Something within me woke up. Something within me made me fall in love with you. That was when you became the object of my affections.
I felt your pain as though it was my own - I wanted it to stop. That was why third Impact had new meaning - it was going to erase your pain and sorrows. It was going to send you into Heaven. I wanted to thank you for making my life meaningful.
But I failed. I wanted you to destroy me because if you had let me live then I would've been destroyed anyway. The men at SEELE had warned me about it. I would've been made to stand in front of your major and get shot. You would've been watching - I know. You would've stood there, powerless to stop her. I would've been able to look straight into your beautiful eyes and see the anguish within them. It would've been torture for both of us.
I love you.
Somehow, I think my death has caused you more pain than before. I have never stopped watching over you - never. I see you trying to escape from your existence. You know that you cannot though, because suicide is an unforgivable sin and therefore we can never be together again. That is why you wait. You wait for the moment when destiny is kind and allows for us to be together again - in death. Forever. I promise that I will never let any pain come to you. I promise that I will never let you go. I promise, I love you. But we will have to wait.
Your smile is now so rare - those around you treasure it when they see it. Your laugh is even more elusive. This pain - I caused it. Guilt now surges through me more powerfully and more constantly than blood. Your eyes - they were a beautiful sapphire - are now hidden behind the very same glasses that hid your father from the world. They cloud over, forever denying anyone access into your soul.
Life - and death - can be very cruel.
Every night, I *do* come down and lie beside you. I wrap my arms around you and lose myself in those midnight blue eyes of yours. You ask for my forgiveness as I ask for yours - I forgave you ever since we met. But I pray that you do not perceive me. I pray that you ignore me, to overlook my presence.
Every night I wrap my arms around someone who doesn't respond. I stare into eyes that look right through me. I speak to deaf ears. My love for you is unnoticed. It hurts, knowing that I am so close to you and at the same time we cannot be any more distant.
Sometimes you do notice. I feel your soul lift its head out of its depression and stare into mine. I feel your body respond in doubt driven by certainty. I see your eyes trying to focus onto mine. It sends a wave of ecstasy, knowing that you respond to me.
But the ecstasy lasts for a fleeting moment, as I am pulled back to my watching spot, unable to come down again. The warmth is gone as cold isolation sweeps through. My death taunts me, being an obstacle between our happiness. It hurts, it really does.
You hide from your memories and it doesn't work - your heart won't let you. It won't let you forget that it's my birthday. You whisper in the darkness - and I want to whisper back.
"I didn't want you to die." I didn't want to either. I run my fingers through your hair, even though you can't notice me, I want to comfort you.
"I tried so hard to forget, now I want to hold on to my memories. Please forgive me for trying to erase you." I feel you relax under my embrace. You *responded* to my action, and yet I am still here, I am still allowed to be by your side. Of course I forgive you - if you could forgive me.
"Why won't you come back to me?" I can't...because I'm not allowed to. My purpose was fulfilled - destiny had no more use for me. I'm sorry, my love. But I swear, we will be together again.
"Promise?" Promise. Wait. Did you just ask me a question? My heart beats furiously with delight as I wrap my arms tightly around you. I promise.
"I would've stopped her from shooting you, Kaworu. I wouldn't have let you died under her doing." I laugh as your love for me deepens with your revelation. You can't cuddle //A/N - such a cute word\\ me back - I am not solid. But I don't care. As long as you know that I am here - as long as you know that I love you.
"Happy birthday," Despite the fact that I am dead; this is the most wonderful birthday ever. Silence reigns as you melt into my arms. I think I've fallen deeper in love with you - if it's possible. As you lift your eyes to meet mine, something happens. To my horror, a familiar feeling rushes through my body as I am returned to my watching spot up above.
My death taunts me more furiously than ever before. It wants me to feel the pain that it causes. I feel it every time that I am separated from you like this. But tonight is different from the other times. Mixed within my sorrow, there is hope. Destiny will overcome the obstacle that death has created. That is because we create our own destiny.
Shinji, I swear that we will be together again. As I look down, I see you discouraged, as you no longer feel my presence. You look up though, straight into my eyes, and utter the words that would fuel my hope for as long as it takes.
"I love you. Aishiteiru, zotto koi."
IN MEMORY OF THE LOVE BETWEEN SHINJI + KAWORU *** the light of hope that shows that there is eternal love in the dark Evangelion world
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ *^*^*^*^
Kasumi's Guardian Dragon - for all you lucky jap literates out there, I know nothing about the last sentence in the *fic*! I have a slight inclination that it just means something like 'I love you forever my darling' #shrugs# I could always be wrong. Anyway, that was a little mushy (what on earth was she going on about 'angsty'?) so #sticks tongue out in disgust#
Kitty Kasumi - #humph# here's a little astrological trivia for you Kaworu devotees out there. Since Kaworu was born on the 13th of September 2000, that makes him a Virgo by western signs and a Dragon by Chinese signs. But you probably knew that already.
To be one of the lucky people who are the most compatible with Kaworu by western signs, you have to be either a fellow Virgo, a Capricorn, a Taurus, or a Gemini. To be compatible by Chinese signs, you have to be either a Snake or a Dragon. *But*, if you're really lucky, you could be a combination of both - like Shinji, who is a Snake *and* a Gemini - pure coincidence, we think not. We don't base our lives on this spiritual stuff, but it is a pretty nifty bit of argument against those who don't believe in the true Evangelion lovers.