Chapter 3 Last Chance
Cole blinked with amazement as emotions soared throughout his body. "What?! You are? Oh baby that is wonderful!" He pulled her into a tight embrace and showered her with a cascade of sweet kisses. He was going to be a father! He and Phoebe Halliwell were going to have a family! Sure the Source was inside him, but he would be gone soon. His dreams were all coming true. All he wanted was to grow old with Phoebe and watch their children grow up; nothing could be more magical (no pun intended)! It was perfect, they were perfect, she was perfect. Nothing could go wrong now. Then why was she shaking her head slowly back and forth?
"No, no baby you misunderstand what I said. I told you I was pregnant. As if in was, am no more. I, um, was pregnant, but I, well." Tears began to choke her mercilessly as grief once again suffocated her and agony broke her heart. "I lost the baby." She whispered slowly, letting the reality of those words sink in, their meaning finally making sense. She no longer had a child, he was gone.
"What? Oh no. Oh Phoebe." He held on to her as they both cried for the loss of their child they never knew, and would never know. This was the big secret she had been keeping, the parasite eating her from the inside out. How long had she been pregnant? Was she happy about it? How long did she think she could hide this from them? Why had she not told them, or worse, he not have known? Questions clouded his mind as he rocked her back and forth whispering comforting words, though he knew those words could never help her. "I did not know."
" I know. I never told you. I never told anyone actually. It was my secret. I found out a week before we vanquished the Source. It was the perfect surprise for you I felt. I know we were not married, but I figured a baby could not be so bad. I was going to tell you, but then, a few days after I had decided where to tell you, I got this immense pain in my stomach when no one was home, and I drove myself to the doctor's. I then found out the baby had died. I was three weeks pregnant." She mumbled almost incoherently. Cole's heart was being ripped in half. His Phoebe held in all these emotions for so long, he had been so ignorant to her silent pleas. The pain she had endured was all his fault, he should have known. It was his child too. "The baby was killed by evil, Cole. The Source must have killed it. I do not know what to say, except I am sorry."
"Sorry, Phoebe? Sorry for what? This was not your fault, it was mine. The evil killed it, you did nothing wrong. It is my fault, mine completely." Grief and agony overtook Cole as guilt forced bile up his throat. He held it down as he realized all her pain she had ever experienced was because of him. Her losing her child was the last straw. He would make this better, he would give her another child if she wished for it, and then he would leave her life forever. No longer would Phoebe Halliwell cry because of him, he would never let anyone hurt her again, especially not him or this thing inside him. The Source was feeding off his pain slowly, and Cole knew it was only a matter of time before the evil would destroy them all. The thought of leaving her forever was horrendous, but he could not be selfish now. He would never marry her, he would allow her to live her life freely and to raise their child, the one she rightfully deserved, in the good ways. He would no longer put her or their child in constant danger. "Phoebe, I know a way." He said steadily. She raised her head slowly and gazed into his eyes. They were erupting with pain and guilt, but she saw a glimmer of hope and decided to listen. "Our child was stolen from us by the evil in me, but he is sleeping now. If you want to, we can still have a child. Allow me to be the father now Phoebe, while it is still safe. I will give you your baby back." Her eyes once again lit up as she fully understood what Cole was saying. Perhaps this would work, perhaps they could still be a family. Maybe another child was the way to honor the one they had lost. It had to work. She slowly nodded her head as she and Cole lay down on the bed and conceived another child.
Two weeks later Phoebe announced she was pregnant, and the family rejoiced. Cole had told them of Phoebe's dark secret, and ever since she found out she had the support of her family, slowly but steadily the old Phoebe had come back. Now she was as beautiful as ever, radiating with the soft glow of motherhood. Piper and Paige were planning a surprise baby shower and Leo was doing all the magical research on the baby's powers and such. Victor had been taken aback when Phoebe told him she was pregnant, but he soon warmed up to the idea of becoming a grandfather, but not before giving Cole a good few warnings on how to treat his youngest daughter. Cole somberly listened and assured Victor nothing would ever hurt Phoebe again.
They were all gathered in the living room while Phoebe raided the fridge and grabbed some ice cream and a spoon. She sat on Cole's lap, whose hand immediately went to her stomach and laid there protectively. No one was as cautious as him with the baby. He was constantly worrying and fussing over her and the baby, sometimes ignoring the rest of the family entirely. Sometimes this could get annoying, but Phoebe learned to love it, for she loved this man with all her heart. She sometimes would wake up and feel Cole's hand on her stomach, his lips real close, and would listen to the conversations he had with the baby. It was adorable how different he was now that he was an expecting father. He was never selfish again, always offering Phoebe the best things, and sometimes when she caught him looking at her with eyes full of love, the expression he wore on his face made her heart melt and fall in love with him all over again. The Source was silent, dormant even, for Cole's love was holding him down. He was a stern human, always protecting Phoebe and their child above everything else. They were discussing names for the baby when the question came up once again. This time Piper asked it.
"So, Cole, what do you want, a boy or girl?" **Oh boy** thought Cole. **Here we go again. I can never win this game. Sometimes I say boy, sometimes girl, sometimes both, but if Phoebe is emotional she starts to cry so much. It breaks my heart, but what can I do, change the subject?**
"All I want is a perfectly healthy baby and a perfectly healthy mother and that is enough for me." He said, smiling and planting a small kiss on the top of Phoebe's head. She seemed content with that answer for now, and looked up, beaming at her future husband.
"Same here." She said. He wrapped his other arm around her and she leaned back into his chest, lying there in complete bliss for a long time as the rest debated on names. "Whose child is this, yours or ours?" Phoebe asked with an impish grin. It was like them to forget the parents of the baby and start arguing over names. "Cole and I have already decided if it is a boy, we will name him Benjamin Victor after our fathers, and if it is a girl, we will name her Ebony Marie, after, well..."
"After no one, we like the name, so that is why." Cole put in, laughing and hugging his fiancé even tighter.
"It is a cute name," Said Piper, "But I still like Melinda."
The night grew on and soon everyone was exchanging good-nights. Everyone but Phoebe, who was so tired she had fallen asleep mid conversation. Cole silently carried her to their room and changed her, gently tucking her into bed and kissing her forhead. On a second though, he went back and quickly, but passionately kissed her on the lips, knowing it would be the last time he did so. He kissed her stomach and whispered "Take care little one, and take good care of your mother. I love you." He once again looked at the love of his life and whispered a vow that he would never stop loving her, grabbed his suitcase and walked down the stairs, only once looking back to see an angelic Phoebe silently sleeping, content and beautiful as ever. He walked to the kitchen and left the note he had written for her, then slowly opened the front door and walked out of the Manor, looking back one last time before slipping into the silent night.
Cole blinked with amazement as emotions soared throughout his body. "What?! You are? Oh baby that is wonderful!" He pulled her into a tight embrace and showered her with a cascade of sweet kisses. He was going to be a father! He and Phoebe Halliwell were going to have a family! Sure the Source was inside him, but he would be gone soon. His dreams were all coming true. All he wanted was to grow old with Phoebe and watch their children grow up; nothing could be more magical (no pun intended)! It was perfect, they were perfect, she was perfect. Nothing could go wrong now. Then why was she shaking her head slowly back and forth?
"No, no baby you misunderstand what I said. I told you I was pregnant. As if in was, am no more. I, um, was pregnant, but I, well." Tears began to choke her mercilessly as grief once again suffocated her and agony broke her heart. "I lost the baby." She whispered slowly, letting the reality of those words sink in, their meaning finally making sense. She no longer had a child, he was gone.
"What? Oh no. Oh Phoebe." He held on to her as they both cried for the loss of their child they never knew, and would never know. This was the big secret she had been keeping, the parasite eating her from the inside out. How long had she been pregnant? Was she happy about it? How long did she think she could hide this from them? Why had she not told them, or worse, he not have known? Questions clouded his mind as he rocked her back and forth whispering comforting words, though he knew those words could never help her. "I did not know."
" I know. I never told you. I never told anyone actually. It was my secret. I found out a week before we vanquished the Source. It was the perfect surprise for you I felt. I know we were not married, but I figured a baby could not be so bad. I was going to tell you, but then, a few days after I had decided where to tell you, I got this immense pain in my stomach when no one was home, and I drove myself to the doctor's. I then found out the baby had died. I was three weeks pregnant." She mumbled almost incoherently. Cole's heart was being ripped in half. His Phoebe held in all these emotions for so long, he had been so ignorant to her silent pleas. The pain she had endured was all his fault, he should have known. It was his child too. "The baby was killed by evil, Cole. The Source must have killed it. I do not know what to say, except I am sorry."
"Sorry, Phoebe? Sorry for what? This was not your fault, it was mine. The evil killed it, you did nothing wrong. It is my fault, mine completely." Grief and agony overtook Cole as guilt forced bile up his throat. He held it down as he realized all her pain she had ever experienced was because of him. Her losing her child was the last straw. He would make this better, he would give her another child if she wished for it, and then he would leave her life forever. No longer would Phoebe Halliwell cry because of him, he would never let anyone hurt her again, especially not him or this thing inside him. The Source was feeding off his pain slowly, and Cole knew it was only a matter of time before the evil would destroy them all. The thought of leaving her forever was horrendous, but he could not be selfish now. He would never marry her, he would allow her to live her life freely and to raise their child, the one she rightfully deserved, in the good ways. He would no longer put her or their child in constant danger. "Phoebe, I know a way." He said steadily. She raised her head slowly and gazed into his eyes. They were erupting with pain and guilt, but she saw a glimmer of hope and decided to listen. "Our child was stolen from us by the evil in me, but he is sleeping now. If you want to, we can still have a child. Allow me to be the father now Phoebe, while it is still safe. I will give you your baby back." Her eyes once again lit up as she fully understood what Cole was saying. Perhaps this would work, perhaps they could still be a family. Maybe another child was the way to honor the one they had lost. It had to work. She slowly nodded her head as she and Cole lay down on the bed and conceived another child.
Two weeks later Phoebe announced she was pregnant, and the family rejoiced. Cole had told them of Phoebe's dark secret, and ever since she found out she had the support of her family, slowly but steadily the old Phoebe had come back. Now she was as beautiful as ever, radiating with the soft glow of motherhood. Piper and Paige were planning a surprise baby shower and Leo was doing all the magical research on the baby's powers and such. Victor had been taken aback when Phoebe told him she was pregnant, but he soon warmed up to the idea of becoming a grandfather, but not before giving Cole a good few warnings on how to treat his youngest daughter. Cole somberly listened and assured Victor nothing would ever hurt Phoebe again.
They were all gathered in the living room while Phoebe raided the fridge and grabbed some ice cream and a spoon. She sat on Cole's lap, whose hand immediately went to her stomach and laid there protectively. No one was as cautious as him with the baby. He was constantly worrying and fussing over her and the baby, sometimes ignoring the rest of the family entirely. Sometimes this could get annoying, but Phoebe learned to love it, for she loved this man with all her heart. She sometimes would wake up and feel Cole's hand on her stomach, his lips real close, and would listen to the conversations he had with the baby. It was adorable how different he was now that he was an expecting father. He was never selfish again, always offering Phoebe the best things, and sometimes when she caught him looking at her with eyes full of love, the expression he wore on his face made her heart melt and fall in love with him all over again. The Source was silent, dormant even, for Cole's love was holding him down. He was a stern human, always protecting Phoebe and their child above everything else. They were discussing names for the baby when the question came up once again. This time Piper asked it.
"So, Cole, what do you want, a boy or girl?" **Oh boy** thought Cole. **Here we go again. I can never win this game. Sometimes I say boy, sometimes girl, sometimes both, but if Phoebe is emotional she starts to cry so much. It breaks my heart, but what can I do, change the subject?**
"All I want is a perfectly healthy baby and a perfectly healthy mother and that is enough for me." He said, smiling and planting a small kiss on the top of Phoebe's head. She seemed content with that answer for now, and looked up, beaming at her future husband.
"Same here." She said. He wrapped his other arm around her and she leaned back into his chest, lying there in complete bliss for a long time as the rest debated on names. "Whose child is this, yours or ours?" Phoebe asked with an impish grin. It was like them to forget the parents of the baby and start arguing over names. "Cole and I have already decided if it is a boy, we will name him Benjamin Victor after our fathers, and if it is a girl, we will name her Ebony Marie, after, well..."
"After no one, we like the name, so that is why." Cole put in, laughing and hugging his fiancé even tighter.
"It is a cute name," Said Piper, "But I still like Melinda."
The night grew on and soon everyone was exchanging good-nights. Everyone but Phoebe, who was so tired she had fallen asleep mid conversation. Cole silently carried her to their room and changed her, gently tucking her into bed and kissing her forhead. On a second though, he went back and quickly, but passionately kissed her on the lips, knowing it would be the last time he did so. He kissed her stomach and whispered "Take care little one, and take good care of your mother. I love you." He once again looked at the love of his life and whispered a vow that he would never stop loving her, grabbed his suitcase and walked down the stairs, only once looking back to see an angelic Phoebe silently sleeping, content and beautiful as ever. He walked to the kitchen and left the note he had written for her, then slowly opened the front door and walked out of the Manor, looking back one last time before slipping into the silent night.