What You Can't Have
By Cherry Blossom
Chapter 4
[rose]
*Los Angeles, California
She stares back, surprised to see him here. "Hi," she says uncertainly, taking off her coat slowly, draping over an armchair. She looks back down. "What are you doing here." It's more of a statement than a question.
He looks at her. "Come one, Sydney," he replies, staring at her intently. "Last night…"
She looks away. "Can I get you something?" she interrupts, striding to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator. Every time she looks at this, she sees another man's hurt expression. Instead of blue eyes, she sees green, green telling her that this is wrong and what she had with him was real.
"I'm fine."
She takes out an unopened bottle of water anyway and for herself she pours some of yesterday's coffee. Sydney gives the bottle to him, and sits in the armchair, face blank.
"What about last night," she says, and takes a sip of the coffee. She restrains herself from making a face; the coffee is cold and bitter. As she stares at the black-brown substance she remembers him again. His face before she takes off, leaving him at the pier.
"I just came to tell you that I don't regret it."
I do-like hell.
She looks up, into his eyes. "I….I…." She struggles desperately for words, but they do not come. He walks
to her, setting her coffee on the coffee table, then draws her up to a standing position.
"Sydney…" He brings her body closer to his, and she feels a shiver go up her spine. "Don't say another word."
Then he kisses her, his lips capturing hers, his tongue caressing her lips.
She can't help it. She knows this is wrong. But she can't stop. This is like a drug for her. She opens her mouth and his tongue enters her, and suddenly her fingers are clutching his blonde hair, rubbing his head vigorously. He strokes her brown hair, and he leads her to the bedroom. Sydney feels herself falling onto the bed, and he's reaching for the buttons on her shirt, but she opens her eyes and pushes him away.
"Sydney…." He says, his eyes inquiring what he did wrong.
"I can't." she says flatly, and she backs away from the bed, away from the bedroom. "I can't." she repeats.
"Syd."
"Don't call me that!" she hisses through her teeth. She points to the front door. "Leave."
"Sydney! I can't just leave," he protests.
"Go home!" she says, this time raising her voice a few notches. When he doesn't move, she gets angry.
"Get out!" she screams, "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
"Okay." His body moves slowly, pale hands reaching for the door knob. His blue eyes look at her one last time before he closes the front door.
She makes sure he's gone before she sits down. Emotions run through her, and she can't figure out what they are, there are just too many. She spots a single red rose, thorns cut off, lying on the table. She remembers it from last night and suddenly her heart aches again. Vaughn's face flashes before her.
"Sydney! Where are you going?"
She recalls his voice. It's filled with panic. Panic for what? Was he worried about her safety or her feelings? She isn't sure. But all she knows is that she's frustrated and angry and hurt and ashamed, all at the same time.
In her anger she snatches it up and tears off the petals, one by one. I hate you Sark, she repeats in her mind over and over again, I hate you.
She starts to break down again, although she's not sure why she's crying. She crumbles the petals in her hands before throwing them onto the floor.
Authors Note: Yup it's Sark. She slept with Sark. Poor Vaughn. Don't worry, this is a potential Sydney& Vaughn fic!!! J