Good Night, Koi
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst/Romance
Warning(s): Shounen-ai, references to almost-rape and suicide
Spoilers: Dance on til the Dawn
Couples: Yugi/ Jounouchi
Summary: After Anzu's death, Yugi sinks into depression and grief. What will it take for him to snap out of him, and acknowledge the one he truly loves? Shounen-ai warning. Y/J Sequel to Dance on til the Dawn* NOW REWRITTEN!
~*~
Celtic Guardian: (wearing only a blue silk robe) Have you seen Dark?
Me: 0.0 No, sorry.
Dark Magician: (poofs ups suddenly) Don't even think about it. He's MINE.
Me: Don't worry. I won't interfere. You two are too cute together.
Celtic Guardian: (Now on the other monster's lap, winding his hands around the DM's long hair) Come on Dark. I have a surprise for you.
Dark Magician: Mm. (poofs them both away)
Me: Stupid muses. Only with eyes for each other. Maybe I should fire them.
~*~
I stared blankly into the coffin. It was a dream, it was just a nightmare and I would wake up to find myself staring up at my ceiling, my pillow under my head. But it wasn't.
Anzu wore pale blue, a color that made her seem wispy and frail, like some spirit of the air. Her eyes were closed as her hands were folded neatly together on her stomach. She seemed to be sleeping, a slight smile on her face. I thought she would suddenly sit up and demand what was going on exactly.
But it was only a stray dream.
I choked down a sob, my head ducking down. Yami grabbed hold of my hand and squeezed it tightly. I barely managed to smile at him.
~*~
The coffin descended to the hole in the ground. This was the last chance to say goodbye to her.
No words came from my mouth as the coffin thudded down. What I wanted to say, the impassioned speech, the lament, shriveled away.
"I love you, Anzu," I finally whispered, the only words that could come out, before sobbing into Yami's comforting shoulder.
~*~
"You have to eat, aibou," Yami said gently, pushing a bowl of rice to me. His ruby eyes were sad and almost pleading.
I murmured, "I'm not hungry."
"You haven't eaten anything in two days, you have to. Anzu would have wanted it."
I stared at him, eyes hollow. He squeezed my shoulder. "Please, at least one bite?"
I shook my head, only poking at the swiftly cooling white grains.
~*~
I was at Anzu's grave a week later, having a bouquet of carnations, some of her favorite flowers. But I wasn't alone. Jounouchi was there too. He was setting down his own bouquet of flowers; yellow roses, her other favorite.
He turned to look at me. "Yugi?"
"Jounouchi-san," I managed to say, smiling weakly. "Come to decorate Anzu's grave as well?"
He nodded gruffly. "Yeah, might as well make it look good. She might like it." He was silent before speaking again, addressing me in a near casual voice, "Anzu's parents asked me if you and a couple of her friends can come and get her things."
However, I could hear disdain and mild anger in his voice. "Jounouchi?"
He said in a flat voice, "We might as well get her stuff, save some of it. It's not as though her parents are going to help preserve her memory."
I nodded silently. It was hard to believe that Anzu had such parents. Maybe that was why she tried to be so cheerful all the time.
"All right," I finally said, amethyst eyes fixing to those alluring brown ones. "I'll go with you."
~*~
I was sitting on Anzu's bed, looking around. It was very clean, compared to Jounouchi's or mine. Some pictures hung from the walls; all of them of dancers. Honda and Jounouchi were both putting things away in boxes.
"We might as well leave the bed and the coverings," Honda said, wiping his brow. "And most of the furniture."
"Hai, it would be for the best," Jounouchi agreed. "Yugi? Is something wrong?"
I shook my head. "I'm just thinking."
"Give us a hand already," Honda grunted.
But Jounouchi put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Honda, just leave him be."
Odd, it wasn't like Jounouchi to be empathetic. But I was grateful for that. I clutched onto one of Anzu's pillows, ready to sob into it.
Then I jumped as Jounouchi stood behind me, a leather-bound book in his hands. "What is it?" I asked.
"You should read it," he said in a surprisingly gentle voice.
I read the cover and my heart sank. Anzu Mazaki. The characters were neatly inscribed in Anzu's steady hand. But I spotted a small piece of paper taped onto the cover.
"To Yugi- read it closely."
"Well, everything's done," Honda announced. A meow and a gray head sticking through the door announced the arrival of Anzu's cat, Shirou. Why she named a gray cat white eluded me.
"Who's taking Shirou?" I then asked.
"I might as well," Honda said, picking up the cat.
Jounouchi looked at me. "Come on Yugi, I'll give you a ride home."
~*~
In the car we were silent for the most part. I thanked him for driving me as he stopped in front of the game shop.
"No problem," he drawled, but his eyes sparkled.
"See you tomorrow," I said hesitantly, before going inside.
His dark eyes seemed to be hurt for the briefest of seconds as I disappeared into the shop.
~*~
I opened the book in my room and started reading. At first I expected to be reading about cheerful anecdotes of what was happening at school and perhaps a little bit of sadness regarding her parents.
I was never more wrong in my life.
As I read through the diary, I found out more secrets about Anzu than I cared to know. She was neglected since very young, she had almost sunk into an eating disorder, and so many more. There was quite a bit of poetry in it, depressing pieces mainly, and the beginnings to love poems.
I nearly started to cry half way through, but I doggedly kept on reading. Then my eyes narrowed in disbelief.
"Jounouchi was giving Yugi one of those looks again today-" the entry read. "That pensive look he always gets when something is interesting him. But it seemed so sad. And he almost winced when Yugi kissed my cheek. I know Jounouchi loves Yugi, so much that it's nearly killing him. But he won't interfere while I am with Yugi; he doesn't want to hurt either of us. I wish this could end so that we all are happy!"
I shook my head once. Jounouchi? With feelings for me? But he was interested in Mai, even though they did not have an official relationship.
The next entries went along the same vein. Then the very last one read, "Yugi is using me as a substitute, and he doesn't even know it. The only way is if I am out of his and Jounouchi's way. I hope he could forgive me some day for doing this. I am doing this because I love him; I love him more than life itself. It will hurt him; it will hurt him deeply. But if Jounouchi loves him, he will be able to mend his heart. I hope I can be forgiven for this some day!"
A tear fell onto the paper. I was crying. Sobbing silently, I clutched the book to my chest.
~*~
"Hey, little boy, we only want to talk to you," one of the men crooned as I ran, face white with fear. I screamed through my bond to Yami, but he was too far away to come to my aid. He frantically called to me, trying to assure me that he was coming, that help was on the way.
The three men exchanged lecherous looks, before coming ominously toward me. My breath caught in my throat, fear in my eyes as I ran across the bridge.
"Stay back!" I shouted, trying to be brave before crashing into something, breath knocked out of me. Turning about, I looked down at the churning waters of the river below. Rain pattered upon the pavement, drenching us all.
"Look, he's so feisty," one leered.
"Good, I like 'em that way," another said with a grin.
I kept on trying to get away. My mind was focused only on fleeing, on getting away from these men. When one grabbed for me, I yelped, trying to get away. The railing crumbled under my weight and I fell.
My only last thoughts were of Yami. and Jounouchi. But soon, swirling water surrounded me, and everything mercifully went back.
~*~
"Yugi-chan! Yugi-chan, you have to get up." My eyes flickered open as the scents of vanilla, roses, and cinnamon hit me all at once.
"Where am I?" I asked, sitting up.
There was a familiar giggle. "Look around you."
I did, and found myself in a meadow, sitting under a giant willow tree at the very edge. A familiar brunette suddenly appeared by my side. My jaw dropped. "A-Anzu?"
She smiled at me. "The one and only." I noticed that she was wearing different clothes. They consisted of a long sleeved shirt, and what seemed like loose leggings, colored in rose pink. A long shawl draped over one shoulder, the ends tied off as to not get in the way, colored the same pink. Her brilliant blue eyes sparkled at me cheerfully, her brown hair longer and braided neatly with a matching ribbon.
"But you're-" I whispered.
Her eyes saddened slightly. "Dead, I know." Then I noticed she had wings, or what looked like them. It was more like a vague outline of wings illuminated by a soft light.
"But, where are we? Am I dead?" The questions burst from my mouth.
"No, this is a crossroad, you are not dead, but you aren't alive either," she explained patiently.
"Anzu, why did you kill yourself?" I asked very quietly.
"Yugi-chan." She smiled sadly now. "You read my journal, you know why."
"But I loved you!" I screamed at her, tears pouring out. "I still love you! Then you had to kill yourself and leave me! Why? Was I worthless to you? Were you sick of me?" I broke down, sobbing.
"No, no," she whispered. "I loved you more than life itself. But Yugi, you were only using me, and you never even knew. Do you know why those kisses we exchanged were so empty? Do you know why you always seemed to like to go to Jounouchi for advice? Because you knew you loved him, but you would deny yourself it, because you were afraid. Look at your hand."
I looked down despite myself. There was a red thread tied about the forefinger, leading off somewhere. Then a picture of Jounouchi appeared in front of me, holding up his hand, and I saw the end of the thread tied about his forefinger.
"You were meant for each other," Anzu said gently.
"But Anzu- it's still my fault you died. You died to get out of the way," I whispered.
She shook her head. "I was meant to die for the one I loved." She smiled. "It was my last wish. I died for you, not because of you. Yugi, you have to go back. Jounouchi misses you. So does Yami."
I almost protested, but nodded once. She kissed my forehead; it was more like a wisp of wind touching my forehead, scented with roses and carnations. "Tell them all that I love them, and I will always be with them."
I tried to touch her cheek, but she soon faded away, her happy smile still lingering as I slipped into oblivion.
~*~
Jounouchi shook Yugi. "Come on Yugi, please wake up."
He had seen Yugi fall into the water of the river, diving after him. However, he feared that it was too late. The boy was pale, far paler than usual, his breathing and heartbeat almost inaudible. Rain fell on them both, but the blonde didn't care.
"Don't leave me!" he screamed, shaking the prone body of his friend, the one he loved, the one that made life worth living. Cold rain mingled with his tears. "Yugi- don't leave us like Anzu. If you die, I'll never speak to you again! But I love you too much..."
Slowly, amethyst eyes opened. "I love you too, Jounouchi," he whispered, shakily reaching up touch the other boy's cheek.
"Yugi!" Sobbing, Jounouchi embraced him tightly.
~*~
"Arigatou," I said quietly, accepting a cup of tea from Jounouchi. I was wearing one of the blonde's spare shirts. However, because of the height difference, the hem reached my knees.
"Not a problem. Yugi, I don't know what to say." He seemed so nervous, trying to look only at my face.
"I love you, I loved you all this time," I said quite calmly.
"So did I, but I didn't know what you would say." Was Jounouchi blushing? He looked so cute like that.
Setting my mug down, I suddenly reached over to Jounouchi and kissed him. He got the gist of it, and kissed me back. We spent quite a bit of time on the couch, kissing each other as if there was no end to the time.
Finally though, I grew tired. I yawned as Jounouchi embraced me. The last words I heard him say before being taken to the realms of sleep were: "Good night, koi."
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst/Romance
Warning(s): Shounen-ai, references to almost-rape and suicide
Spoilers: Dance on til the Dawn
Couples: Yugi/ Jounouchi
Summary: After Anzu's death, Yugi sinks into depression and grief. What will it take for him to snap out of him, and acknowledge the one he truly loves? Shounen-ai warning. Y/J Sequel to Dance on til the Dawn* NOW REWRITTEN!
~*~
Celtic Guardian: (wearing only a blue silk robe) Have you seen Dark?
Me: 0.0 No, sorry.
Dark Magician: (poofs ups suddenly) Don't even think about it. He's MINE.
Me: Don't worry. I won't interfere. You two are too cute together.
Celtic Guardian: (Now on the other monster's lap, winding his hands around the DM's long hair) Come on Dark. I have a surprise for you.
Dark Magician: Mm. (poofs them both away)
Me: Stupid muses. Only with eyes for each other. Maybe I should fire them.
~*~
I stared blankly into the coffin. It was a dream, it was just a nightmare and I would wake up to find myself staring up at my ceiling, my pillow under my head. But it wasn't.
Anzu wore pale blue, a color that made her seem wispy and frail, like some spirit of the air. Her eyes were closed as her hands were folded neatly together on her stomach. She seemed to be sleeping, a slight smile on her face. I thought she would suddenly sit up and demand what was going on exactly.
But it was only a stray dream.
I choked down a sob, my head ducking down. Yami grabbed hold of my hand and squeezed it tightly. I barely managed to smile at him.
~*~
The coffin descended to the hole in the ground. This was the last chance to say goodbye to her.
No words came from my mouth as the coffin thudded down. What I wanted to say, the impassioned speech, the lament, shriveled away.
"I love you, Anzu," I finally whispered, the only words that could come out, before sobbing into Yami's comforting shoulder.
~*~
"You have to eat, aibou," Yami said gently, pushing a bowl of rice to me. His ruby eyes were sad and almost pleading.
I murmured, "I'm not hungry."
"You haven't eaten anything in two days, you have to. Anzu would have wanted it."
I stared at him, eyes hollow. He squeezed my shoulder. "Please, at least one bite?"
I shook my head, only poking at the swiftly cooling white grains.
~*~
I was at Anzu's grave a week later, having a bouquet of carnations, some of her favorite flowers. But I wasn't alone. Jounouchi was there too. He was setting down his own bouquet of flowers; yellow roses, her other favorite.
He turned to look at me. "Yugi?"
"Jounouchi-san," I managed to say, smiling weakly. "Come to decorate Anzu's grave as well?"
He nodded gruffly. "Yeah, might as well make it look good. She might like it." He was silent before speaking again, addressing me in a near casual voice, "Anzu's parents asked me if you and a couple of her friends can come and get her things."
However, I could hear disdain and mild anger in his voice. "Jounouchi?"
He said in a flat voice, "We might as well get her stuff, save some of it. It's not as though her parents are going to help preserve her memory."
I nodded silently. It was hard to believe that Anzu had such parents. Maybe that was why she tried to be so cheerful all the time.
"All right," I finally said, amethyst eyes fixing to those alluring brown ones. "I'll go with you."
~*~
I was sitting on Anzu's bed, looking around. It was very clean, compared to Jounouchi's or mine. Some pictures hung from the walls; all of them of dancers. Honda and Jounouchi were both putting things away in boxes.
"We might as well leave the bed and the coverings," Honda said, wiping his brow. "And most of the furniture."
"Hai, it would be for the best," Jounouchi agreed. "Yugi? Is something wrong?"
I shook my head. "I'm just thinking."
"Give us a hand already," Honda grunted.
But Jounouchi put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Honda, just leave him be."
Odd, it wasn't like Jounouchi to be empathetic. But I was grateful for that. I clutched onto one of Anzu's pillows, ready to sob into it.
Then I jumped as Jounouchi stood behind me, a leather-bound book in his hands. "What is it?" I asked.
"You should read it," he said in a surprisingly gentle voice.
I read the cover and my heart sank. Anzu Mazaki. The characters were neatly inscribed in Anzu's steady hand. But I spotted a small piece of paper taped onto the cover.
"To Yugi- read it closely."
"Well, everything's done," Honda announced. A meow and a gray head sticking through the door announced the arrival of Anzu's cat, Shirou. Why she named a gray cat white eluded me.
"Who's taking Shirou?" I then asked.
"I might as well," Honda said, picking up the cat.
Jounouchi looked at me. "Come on Yugi, I'll give you a ride home."
~*~
In the car we were silent for the most part. I thanked him for driving me as he stopped in front of the game shop.
"No problem," he drawled, but his eyes sparkled.
"See you tomorrow," I said hesitantly, before going inside.
His dark eyes seemed to be hurt for the briefest of seconds as I disappeared into the shop.
~*~
I opened the book in my room and started reading. At first I expected to be reading about cheerful anecdotes of what was happening at school and perhaps a little bit of sadness regarding her parents.
I was never more wrong in my life.
As I read through the diary, I found out more secrets about Anzu than I cared to know. She was neglected since very young, she had almost sunk into an eating disorder, and so many more. There was quite a bit of poetry in it, depressing pieces mainly, and the beginnings to love poems.
I nearly started to cry half way through, but I doggedly kept on reading. Then my eyes narrowed in disbelief.
"Jounouchi was giving Yugi one of those looks again today-" the entry read. "That pensive look he always gets when something is interesting him. But it seemed so sad. And he almost winced when Yugi kissed my cheek. I know Jounouchi loves Yugi, so much that it's nearly killing him. But he won't interfere while I am with Yugi; he doesn't want to hurt either of us. I wish this could end so that we all are happy!"
I shook my head once. Jounouchi? With feelings for me? But he was interested in Mai, even though they did not have an official relationship.
The next entries went along the same vein. Then the very last one read, "Yugi is using me as a substitute, and he doesn't even know it. The only way is if I am out of his and Jounouchi's way. I hope he could forgive me some day for doing this. I am doing this because I love him; I love him more than life itself. It will hurt him; it will hurt him deeply. But if Jounouchi loves him, he will be able to mend his heart. I hope I can be forgiven for this some day!"
A tear fell onto the paper. I was crying. Sobbing silently, I clutched the book to my chest.
~*~
"Hey, little boy, we only want to talk to you," one of the men crooned as I ran, face white with fear. I screamed through my bond to Yami, but he was too far away to come to my aid. He frantically called to me, trying to assure me that he was coming, that help was on the way.
The three men exchanged lecherous looks, before coming ominously toward me. My breath caught in my throat, fear in my eyes as I ran across the bridge.
"Stay back!" I shouted, trying to be brave before crashing into something, breath knocked out of me. Turning about, I looked down at the churning waters of the river below. Rain pattered upon the pavement, drenching us all.
"Look, he's so feisty," one leered.
"Good, I like 'em that way," another said with a grin.
I kept on trying to get away. My mind was focused only on fleeing, on getting away from these men. When one grabbed for me, I yelped, trying to get away. The railing crumbled under my weight and I fell.
My only last thoughts were of Yami. and Jounouchi. But soon, swirling water surrounded me, and everything mercifully went back.
~*~
"Yugi-chan! Yugi-chan, you have to get up." My eyes flickered open as the scents of vanilla, roses, and cinnamon hit me all at once.
"Where am I?" I asked, sitting up.
There was a familiar giggle. "Look around you."
I did, and found myself in a meadow, sitting under a giant willow tree at the very edge. A familiar brunette suddenly appeared by my side. My jaw dropped. "A-Anzu?"
She smiled at me. "The one and only." I noticed that she was wearing different clothes. They consisted of a long sleeved shirt, and what seemed like loose leggings, colored in rose pink. A long shawl draped over one shoulder, the ends tied off as to not get in the way, colored the same pink. Her brilliant blue eyes sparkled at me cheerfully, her brown hair longer and braided neatly with a matching ribbon.
"But you're-" I whispered.
Her eyes saddened slightly. "Dead, I know." Then I noticed she had wings, or what looked like them. It was more like a vague outline of wings illuminated by a soft light.
"But, where are we? Am I dead?" The questions burst from my mouth.
"No, this is a crossroad, you are not dead, but you aren't alive either," she explained patiently.
"Anzu, why did you kill yourself?" I asked very quietly.
"Yugi-chan." She smiled sadly now. "You read my journal, you know why."
"But I loved you!" I screamed at her, tears pouring out. "I still love you! Then you had to kill yourself and leave me! Why? Was I worthless to you? Were you sick of me?" I broke down, sobbing.
"No, no," she whispered. "I loved you more than life itself. But Yugi, you were only using me, and you never even knew. Do you know why those kisses we exchanged were so empty? Do you know why you always seemed to like to go to Jounouchi for advice? Because you knew you loved him, but you would deny yourself it, because you were afraid. Look at your hand."
I looked down despite myself. There was a red thread tied about the forefinger, leading off somewhere. Then a picture of Jounouchi appeared in front of me, holding up his hand, and I saw the end of the thread tied about his forefinger.
"You were meant for each other," Anzu said gently.
"But Anzu- it's still my fault you died. You died to get out of the way," I whispered.
She shook her head. "I was meant to die for the one I loved." She smiled. "It was my last wish. I died for you, not because of you. Yugi, you have to go back. Jounouchi misses you. So does Yami."
I almost protested, but nodded once. She kissed my forehead; it was more like a wisp of wind touching my forehead, scented with roses and carnations. "Tell them all that I love them, and I will always be with them."
I tried to touch her cheek, but she soon faded away, her happy smile still lingering as I slipped into oblivion.
~*~
Jounouchi shook Yugi. "Come on Yugi, please wake up."
He had seen Yugi fall into the water of the river, diving after him. However, he feared that it was too late. The boy was pale, far paler than usual, his breathing and heartbeat almost inaudible. Rain fell on them both, but the blonde didn't care.
"Don't leave me!" he screamed, shaking the prone body of his friend, the one he loved, the one that made life worth living. Cold rain mingled with his tears. "Yugi- don't leave us like Anzu. If you die, I'll never speak to you again! But I love you too much..."
Slowly, amethyst eyes opened. "I love you too, Jounouchi," he whispered, shakily reaching up touch the other boy's cheek.
"Yugi!" Sobbing, Jounouchi embraced him tightly.
~*~
"Arigatou," I said quietly, accepting a cup of tea from Jounouchi. I was wearing one of the blonde's spare shirts. However, because of the height difference, the hem reached my knees.
"Not a problem. Yugi, I don't know what to say." He seemed so nervous, trying to look only at my face.
"I love you, I loved you all this time," I said quite calmly.
"So did I, but I didn't know what you would say." Was Jounouchi blushing? He looked so cute like that.
Setting my mug down, I suddenly reached over to Jounouchi and kissed him. He got the gist of it, and kissed me back. We spent quite a bit of time on the couch, kissing each other as if there was no end to the time.
Finally though, I grew tired. I yawned as Jounouchi embraced me. The last words I heard him say before being taken to the realms of sleep were: "Good night, koi."