Annabelle's Story – Mirandabelle
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Disclaimer: MASH is the property of 20th Century Fox, and I do not own the actual idea or storyline. I lay no claim to any of the characters, with the exception of Annabelle Dawson, who is my own creation.
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Previously: Hawkeye decides to liven things up, by throwing a "Birthday" party for Annie, who shows everyone what a party girl she can be... and what a tease by leaving Radar questioning... did they or didn't they?
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Chapter Four: Welcome, Captain Hildebrand
Henry groaned and put his feet under his desk, "Watch it," He jumped suddenly, at my voice.
"Oh! Annie, you scared me under there." I had taken up my usual position, half sitting, and half lying across the space under his desk. "I love you sitting there Anne, it's kinda reassuring, like a dog..."
"At least you won't have an accident on his boots!" Trapper cut in, laughing, as I pondered the best way to react to the slightly warped compliment.
"You'd better not! But it's like a dog..." Hawkeye interrupted, now.
"Yeah cause she can be a real bit..." He looked directly at me, waiting for me to take the bait.
"Hawkeye!" I cut him off.
Henry sighed and continued, "Because I know you'll give me total devotion, and won't go to the latrine on my boots!" I laughed, pushing my curls off my face. It was defintely a complimentary statement, in Henry's usual roundabout fashion.
"Now that we've established that I'm like a dog, what'd you want us in here for?" I asked, inadvertently setting Major Burns off.
"Yes Colonel, we've been in here for fifteen minutes already and all you've done is argue with those Smart-skis. Pardon the French." The painful Major in question put in.
"Why, Major Burns, if I didn't know you weren't serious when you insulted my two best friends, I'd have been offended," I replied smartly. Henry silenced me, deliberately this time, by using my stomach as a footrest.
"I just received a call from HQ, they've received several complaints, no names mentioned Majors, and they think that our closeness to the front is making us all cuckoo. They're sending down a Captain Hildebrand to assess our situation and determine whether or not we need to be split up and assigned to different MASH posts."
Hawkeye stood up. "What! That's not possible, we may grate on each others' nerves, have the odd punch-up, and require Sidney Freedman's services on a regular basis, but when it comes to what we're here for, we work better than a well-oiled machine." I had only been in with these guys for a month and a half, but it was clear they were like a family to each other, and they were definitely becoming like a family to me.
"That's sacrilegious! They can't consider doing that to us, we're too close." Henry sighed and removed his feet from my abdomen. \
"That's what they're worried about. Now listen, he gets here about 1700 hours, by then I want this place looking like a military outfit, I want Klinger's wardrobe toned down considerably, failing that... him locked up. You two are going to have to quit the tomfoolery, Annie, you'll have to vacate your spot when he's here, somehow I don't think he'll find having a small blonde thing sitting under my feet sane. Pierce, MacIntyre, you're going to have to quit 'playing doctor' with Annie. Annie, I want to see you in uniform, I mean that sweater's beautiful on you." I was wearing a sky-blue sweater. Trapper had since been to Seoul and keeping his promise bought me a chair for my tent and the aforementioned sweater.
"I'll get Radar to sew up the hole in the nurses' showers, hide his teddy and the menagerie. Annie, I'll rely on you to clean up the bulletin board, take off any umm. articles of clothing that have been put there and any inappropriate notices. You know the ones. Major Burns, go polish a rock. Major Houlihan, whip your nurses into shape. Oh and Annabelle baby, you hereby answer to Nurse or Lieutenant Dawson. Someone had better do something about those obscenities you two painted on the side of the kitchens. And Annie, now that the hole in the nurse's shower is fixed you can go back there. Not that I think anyone minds you showering in the men's showers." Ever since I had discovered a hole in the nurses' showers I had taken my showers at the same time as Trapper or Hawkeye. in the men's showers.
"One more thing, you guys aren't supposed to know he's who he is." I nodded and came out from under the desk, Trapper giving me a hand up and hugging me as he did so.
"Uniform, board, showers, name, Klinger, and pretend I have no idea about Hildebrand. Check" I counted the things off on my fingers.
Henry looked astonished, "You got it? Good, you can reissue the instructions. Annabelle is giving the orders, what she says goes."
I smiled and opened my mouth, "Yes ma'am? The nurses' showers are being patched, teddy is in my footlocker, and the side of the kitchen is being repainted." I had barely called his name before Radar appeared and pre-empted everything I said.
"Hawkeye and Trapper, disarm any practical jokes you have planned, and Henry would like it if you wore your fatigues."
Hawkeye pouted, sweetly. "Henry, you're a rotten spoilsport."
I continued, "Major Burns, Colonel Blake would like you to keep out of trouble. Major Houlihan, check over Post-Op, and get us nurses into order. Everyone happy with that? Good, we have 1-½ hours to get that done. Let's go, and remember - not a word."
Captain Hildebrand's arrival was fairly uneventful. I dragged Klinger into my tent while the Captain was seen to Colonel Blake's office. "Klinger, now listen, if you start acting funny while Captain Hildebrand is here, he'll split us all up and you'll most likely wind up in some place where there'll be people who'll be not half as tolerant, and they won't give you that section-8." I told him.
"Seriously?" He asked, looking rather worried.
"Yes, they'll be more likely to commit you to service for life. Now I don't expect you to stay in fatigues, but keep your skirts below your knees and your sleeves below your elbows, I'm talking neck-to-knee look, and no bright colours. Deal?"
Klinger nodded, "How long is this kook staying for?"
I shrugged, "Just remember what I said."
He saluted, smartly, but definitely in a friendly way. "Yes ma'am."
"Good, now shoo!" As he left Major Houlihan came in, knocking first.
"Nice work Lieutenant. You've got the place looking really good."
I smiled, "Have a seat Major? Oh, did anyone ever fix up the VIP tent?"
She looked concerned, "Oh no! The tent, that's where Radar put some of his animals. That's where Colonel Blake told him to put them and Captain Hildebrand is heading for his tent as soon as he's finished talking to the Colonel. Annie, even if we get them out, the place will stink, it'll be so..." I put my hands on her shoulders, reaching up to do so.
"Calm down. Major, I know you're not fond of them but I think Hawkeye and Trapper can save the day." I saw the men passing and I called to them. As I briefly explained the situation and they shared glances.
"I have an idea," said Hawkeye, "One of you is going to have to move into the other's tent though."
Major Houlihan nodded, "That's fine, what's your idea?"
Trapper smiled, "Quarantine the tent."
I threw my arms around his neck, "Trapper, Hawkeye, did I ever tell you that I loved you?"
"And so you see Captain, the VIP tent had to be quarantined, and it is still at present considered a high-risk infection zone. You will be sleeping in my tent instead." Major Houlihan calmly explained. Henry looked stunned.
"Why is it quarantined?" Margaret glared at Henry and he fell silent as Hildebrand was shown to Major Houlihan's tent. Major Houlihan would be sharing with me, and we'd just finished moving her things across when Captain Hildebrand and Henry were headed for the VIP tent. Hawkeye quickly caused a diversion, wheelchair races with the patients from Post- Op. I chased them back inside, and saw Major Houlihan leading the stunned pair away from the VIP tent and in the direction of her own tent.
Dinner in the Mess Tent was pretty quiet. The food was so average; Hawkeye couldn't even give us a running commentary on what he was eating, but sniffed every bite of food. Most of us were pretty tired anyway, we'd spent 18 hours in the OR the day before and we had to keep a constant watch on one of the patients, plus the high-speed cleanup, was the final straw. We ate, while Henry introduced some of us to Captain Hildebrand, he skirted the table where Hawkeye, Trapper and I were sitting and generally everyone was pretty good, as Hildebrand retired early, I noticed Henry wiping his brow and having a quiet shot in his office.
I retired early too; I had a midnight Post-OP shift and wanted to have some time to relax before I went. Margaret came in, as I was brushing my hair. "Well, Lieutenant, you've been wonderful so far. I'm very pleased with the work you've done. Even Corporal Klinger is wearing more reserved outfits."
I smiled, "I just said if he didn't tone down he'd get stuck in an outfit where they'd draft him for life!"
She laughed, "That was clever of you to realise threats were better than a direct order."
I smiled again, still slightly nervous of my superior. "Thankyou Major."
She took my hand, "Call me Margaret, and I'd like to know about your life, I've heard some very interesting stories about your background." I smiled and began talking; things were peaceful that night, very peaceful. Things didn't start to happen until the next day.
Because we had a guest, Henry had to have the 0500-hour roll call. I had not been able to sleep after I returned from my Post-Op shift, and Margaret and I spent most of the night talking. She, Major Burns and I appeared with Radar's reveille and most of the camp, including Klinger in a chemise and housecoat followed. Trapper and Hawkeye made themselves noticeable by their absence. They rarely showed up to roll call, but we at least knew they were there, they were the ones that threw a boot, an egg, or some other object at Radar and went back to bed. Margaret and I hastily covered, saying that they were in surgery, a patient's condition had deteriorated, needing emergency surgery and they were still busy. Henry looked confused but allowed Radar to call the roll and introduced us to Captain Hildebrand. "Captain, this is Annie... err Lieutenant Annabelle Dawson." I saluted, smiling and he scribbled something on a notepad.
"Pleased to meet you Lieutenant." I dropped the salute and my eyes widened. Hildebrand and Henry both caught the gaze, and turned to where I was looking. Trapper and Hawkeye drove up in a jeep. Stopping a few inches short of Radar's feet, they jumped out, revealing fatigue pants, Hawaiian shirts and dressing gowns.
"Hi Henry," Hawkeye blew the frustrated Colonel a kiss and batted his eyelashes at him. They fell into formation. Things went from bad to worse as Hawkeye and Trapper pulled the most ridiculous stunts and behaved in as insolent a manner as they possibly could.
Breakfast was lively. I stood waiting to get my breakfast when someone kissed my left cheek, someone else my right and both people put a cup of coffee on my tray. "Hawkeye, Trapper," I hissed, "What are you doing?"
Hawkeye smiled brightly, "Just having some fun." I rolled my eyes as Hawkeye whispered something to Trapper who smirked and proceeded to pile a tray with several pieces of toast. "Igor, put my breakfast on Annie's tray, and Trapper's too," Igor looked stunned, but obeyed.
"Aah, Captain Pierce, this is, ahem, Captain Hildebrand, he's a doctor staying with us for a few days, to observe our umm..." Henry trailed off, giving Hawk a significant glare as he did so
"What type of medicine are you interested in?" Hawkeye asked conversationally, the two men answered together, over each other, and almost gave the game away.
"Thoracic Surgery,"
"Gynaecology" I chuckled as the line moved along.
"Close Henry, being a gyno will really - ow!" I kicked Hawk in the shins as we sat down, Trapper bringing an extra cup of coffee and plenty of toast. They sat down either side of me and prepared to share my breakfast. Henry, Frank, Margaret and Hildebrand sat opposite.
"So... Major Burns, that was some nice work you did on that leg the other day, he's healing nicely." Trapper said, poker-faced, swallowing a mouthful of food.
"That's um... regular practice, our doctors often compliment each other on their work." Henry stammered while Frank spluttered.
"What are you on about, you're poking fun at me again aren't you? Margaret, he's teasing me!" He finished his sentence in a wail, Margaret looked disgusted and stepped on Frank's foot under the table.
"No, Major Burns, what gives you that idea, Doctor MacIntyre was just trying to compliment you." Hawkeye scooped up some more food and sniffed it before chewing and swallowing.
"Oh, go fry an egg!" Muttered Frank while Captain Hildebrand continued scribbling notes. Hawkeye Trapper and I ate the rest of our breakfast together and I tried to ignore the fact that they loosened the top on both the salt and peppershakers, and Father Mulcahy wound up with a pile of each on his tray.
Hildebrand continued making notes all through the day as Hawkeye and Trapper drove a jeep up and down the compound with Frank bound and gagged in the back, Klinger got sick of the neck-to-knee look and wore a backless number, Trapper was observed performing surgery on the hole in the nurse's showers, Hawkeye and Trapper continued to share my meals, and insistently called me Lyssie-Jane. Henry was quite beside himself with their pranks and by the end of Hildebrand's visit, was highly irate. He called me into his office, and had me sit under the desk, while he talked.
"Annie, those clowns are making Hildebrand think I'm quite insane. If they have us split up, I don't know what I'll do."
I nodded, "I know Colonel, I don't know what I'll do either, you're family to me. I'm doing everything I can to keep them busy, but I can only occupy them for a few minutes. They keep coming up with silly jokes, and carry them out. And I've tried threats, pleas and bribes and they still won't listen." Henry sighed; I got up and started massaging his neck.
"Thankyou Annie. How about you give them a massage and try to talk some sense into them?" I smiled as I worked my hands over his shoulders.
"Good idea, I'll try." He smiled and hugged me, and I began to wonder if that same warm safe feeling I had was what it would've been like if my father hugged me.
"That's my girl.
Twenty minutes later, Captain Hildebrand came into the Swamp. Trapper lay facedown on his bunk, nude from the waist up and I knelt over him, one leg on either side of him, massaging his back. "Good day Captains, Lieutenant. Mind if I sit down?"
Hawkeye motioned to a chair, "Go ahead, drink?"
Hildebrand shook his head. "No thankyou, what I actually wanted was to talk to Lieutenant Dawson if that's possible." I sat down, resting my weight lightly on Trapper's back while I rubbed his shoulders.
"That's me, would you like to talk here?"
He nodded, "That will be fine, thankyou. Now why are you giving that massage?" I smiled, working my thumbs into a knot in his back.
"Well, because the doctors all need to relax at times, and as a nurse, it is not only my job to assist them medically, but to help them relax, so they can perform well in the OR when they have to." My small palms ran over Trapper's spine, as I spoke, and he sighed quietly.
"Yes, several hours straight in the OR can kill your back." Hawkeye put in, helpfully this time.
"Thankyou, now I notice you're very close with most of the staff here, how would you say you get on with everyone?"
"I would say that I am good friends with most of them, they're like family to me"
He nodded, "Would you say you shared any special relationships with people?" I smiled at his stress on 'special'.
"Yes, Father Mulcahy and I are particularly good friends, we're both of the same belief, and I regularly attend his Mass." Hawkeye laughed, and I glared at him.
"Actually Lieutenant, I meant with the doctors, I can't help notice you're extremely close." I laughed, he wans hinting at more than friends, and I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction.
"Yes, Colonel Blake and I are very close, he's like a father to me. Pierce and MacIntyre here are like brothers and a lot more. They're my best friends here, I look to them for advice and they come to me when they need help. or a massage" Hildebrand was becoming frustrated at my coolly neutral answers.
"But is there any romantic interest between you and any of the doctors?" I laughed as he stressed 'romantic' and then proceeded to lie through my teeth, being as there was to be no relationship between me and Trapper for the duration of Hildebrand's stay.
"Hardly! Doctor MacIntyre is married, and of course," I added, running my hands down his sides, "Completely faithful to his wife, Dr Pierce here is not married, and we are both very close, but you could hardly say there is anything romantic about us." Trapper laughed at Hildebrand's bemused and annoyed expression.
"Thankyou for your time Lieutenant." I
smiled, "I'm glad I could help." He left and I stood up, while Trapper and Hawkeye hooted with laughter.
"Anne, you're wonderful, those answers had him stumped!" Trapper kissed me. I draped my arms around his neck, and kissed him back.
"Now Trap I promised Hawkeye a massage too, so I'd best do it. Baby gets cranky if he doesn't have his massage you know."
Hildebrand was trying to ask Hawkeye and Trapper similar questions to the ones he had asked me, and receiving hopeless answers. They were fooling around and being thoroughly rude. At present, Hawkeye it seemed was best friends with Trapper because of his body and Trapper was best friends with me because I was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen and when it came to 'Bedroom Olympics' no one could beat me. Hawkeye appeared surprised to hear that and then began bargaining with Trapper about a night for me the price was $100 and rising when Radar burst in, interrupting the banter, and the scarlet creeping up my face.
"Choppers! And they're loaded!" He ran out and we all jumped to our feet and left the tent. Hildebrand followed as we met everyone in the compound, jumped into jeeps and drove up to the chopper pad. Hildebrand was left standing alone in the middle of the compound as we sprang into action. He observed our work over the next 17 hours, making notes all the while. We finally finished and to our surprise, he'd left to go back to Tokyo. He wasn't greatly missed and we fell back into our usual behaviour.
About a week later Henry called us into his office, I slumped under the desk while he told us he'd heard back from Hildebrand, there was none of the usual banter, everyone just wanted Henry to let us know immediately.
"He says that we are all totally crazy, we are obviously far too close and get on each others' nerves, there are relationships between nurses and doctors that he doesn't approve of and we all need psychiatric help." Henry read aloud, "But he also says that when it comes to the crunch we work together so well it would practically be a crime to separate us."
I laughed, "So he's not going to?"
Henry beamed, "No Annie, he's not!" Hawkeye whooped and kissed Margaret, Trapper began chasing Frank in circles, making smooching noises at him, while I hugged Henry.
"God, it's good to know that we're okay!" I smiled, Henry laughed and hugged me.
"Actually you're not okay, not one of you is sane. You're the craziest bunch of people I ever met, but I'm damn proud to have worked with everyone of you."
I smiled, "Likewise Henry."