What Is This New Deviltry?
CHAPTER 2
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Lord of the Rings. If I did, do you really think I'd be sitting at my computer writing yet another pointless story for fanfiction.net?
To recap: Three mindlessly idiotic teenage girls have ended up in Middle Earth after a minor chemical accident that was the result of paying absolutely no attention.
MORE MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kelsey wheeled around with her fists up, ready to punch yet another orc. But what was behind her wasn't exactly an orc.
"What on earth did you do that for?!" yelled a blond elf, who's face was hidden by a hooded cloak.
"You snuck up on me you *censored*!!!" Kelsey yelled back.
"Who are you? You're dressed very strangely for a maiden."
"My name's Kelsey, and I'm dressed like this because there's no way in hell I'm wearing a *censored* dress!!!!!!!" Kelsey yelled back, punching again.
"Where did you come from?" The elf asked.
"My science class. I uh, blew something up. But it was an accident!!" She added. "And who in the name of hell are you?"
"My name is Legolas," the elf said, dropping his hood.
Kelsey now lost any last shred of sanity she possessed and started hyper ventilating. "LEGOLAS!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screeched.
"Do I know you?" He asked in confusion.
"No, but I know you." She answered.
"How?"
"Umm...Never mind." She said, not thrilled with the idea of explaining the concept of movies. "Where are we going?"
"Who said we were going anywhere?" Legolas asked.
"Me." Kelsey replied. "And if you don't let me come I'll..Um.... Do something."
Legolas rolled his eyes. "Fine. You can come to Rivendell with me."
"WE'RE GOING TO RIVENDELL?!!!!!" Kelsey screeched.
"Do you want more orcs to come?" Legolas asked her.
"Hell no!" Kelsey replied. "They smell funny." She added.
"Because by the way you're yelling, it seems like you do!" He told her.
Kelsey rolled her eyes and picked up her sword, her hoodie sliding up her cut arm.
"You're hurt." Legolas told her.
"So?" She asked.
"So-" Legolas stopped talking as something moved in a bush up ahead.
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"Are we there yet?" Hailey asked. Again.
"No," Aragorn replied. This girl was really starting to get on his nerves.
"Are we there now?" She asked, skipping along through the forest.
"No."
"Are we there now?" She asked.
"That is very annoying you know." Aragorn told her.
"I know!" Hailey said cheerfully, tripping over a tree root. "OW!!!!" She yelled, followed by a very long string of curses in various languages.
"Where do you learn such foul language?" Aragorn asked in shock.
"Well, I used to, like, never swear, but then I started hanging out with Kelsey, and we're sorta bad influences on each other." Hailey told him, getting up.
"Who is Kelsey?" Aragorn asked.
"One of my bestest buddies." Hailey answered, using her excellent grammar skills. "Hey, speaking of Kelsey, where-" Hailey ran into a tree due to the fact that she was walking backwards. "OW! What kind of *censored* moronic *censored, censored, censored* puts a *censored* tree here anyways?"
Aragorn just stared in amazement at this girls rudeness.
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GT was walking along after Boromir, thinking of the most convenient way to plot mayhem.
"Okay, I could steal something. No, gotta be better than that. Hmm..." She muttered.
"We will camp here tonight." Boromir announced, stopping in a small clearing.
"Here? Here as in the *censored* middle of *censored* no where?" GT asked in disbelief.
"Yes. We wake at dawn." Boromir said, rolling his eyes.
"Umm...How about HELL NO YOU *censored, censored, censored* son of a *censored*?!!!!" GT yelled back, objecting to the thought of waking up any earlier than 11 am.
"Young maiden, we shall do whatever I say." Boromir threatened. He was promptly hit in the face by GT's fist. Hard.
Suddenly, an idea crossed GT's mind. "Okay, we'll wake at dawn, and camp here." She agreed with a slight smile.
Boromir placed a bowl of something in front of GT, who took a bite, and immediately spat it out in Boromir's face.
"What the *censored* is this *censored*?!! It's the grossest lump of crap I've ever tasted!!!" GT yelled.
"It is cooked rabbit, and you will eat it!" Boromir told her.
"Umm... How bout NO?!!!!" GT yelled back, getting up and walking over to the forest.
"Where are you going?" Boromir asked.
"I'm going to feed my supper to the rabid animals, it shouldn't go to waste." GT said over her shoulder.
Boromir got up and started to walk after her. At least if she got killed, he wouldn't have to put up with any more mindless jabbering.
GT walked back about half an hour later.
"What took you so long?" He asked.
"I had to feed my supper to the rabid sparrows and chipmunks, and the blood sucking squirrels." GT answered, jumping up and down.
"Right. Go to sleep." Boromir said, throwing a blanket at GT, who caught it and threw it back.
"I want a different blanket!" She whined.
"Why?" Boromir asked.
"Because that one smells funny." She said.
Boromir rolled his eyes and gave her another blanket.
"Yay!!" GT yelled, dropping onto the ground with the blanket.
Boromir rolled his eyes and laid down with the second blanket and fell asleep.
"The blood sucking squirrels are gonna kill you while you sleep!!!!" GT yelled, strangely cheerful, as it was around 2 am.
Boromir looked at her in confusion. She was wearing the blanket as a cape, and had drawn fangs on her face with some sort of paint. She also was smiling in such a fashion that would make any one else emit a girlie high pitched squeal and run as fast as they could in the other direction. But since it was the middle of the night, Boromir just raised an eyebrow.
"Why are you wearing the blanket like that?" Boromir asked.
"I'M A VAMPIRE!!!!" GT yelled, laughing like a maniac. "And.." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I know what you did last summer." She ran off into the trees, still laughing like a maniac.
Boromir tried to sleep, but was once again awakened by the crazed maiden.
"Look at my army of blood sucking squirrels!" GT yelled, showing him five squirrels.
"They don't look that OW!!!!!!" Boromir yelled as he reached out to stroke one of the squirrels, who's eyes turned red as it sunk its sharp fangs into his finger.
"They're VICIOUS!!!!!" GT screamed, running in a circle.
Boromir rolled his eyes as the young, crazy maiden ran back into the forest screaming something about brain sucking llamas.
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Wow, like half that chapter was about GT. I guess the DR.Pepper demanded it. Aneewhosies, review this chappie okey doke?
