Stolen Souls:
Diary of a Kleptomaniac
Dear Diary, My head is full of fractions, cookies, and Pepsi. Maybe my life is a little screwed up. It's 8:05 in the morning and I'm sitting here wondering whether or not I was an Egyptian princess. Nah. I was definitely an Egyptian prostitute for the pharaoh. Oh yeah. Adam, my gay best friend, is back form military school. He says to me, " Keri, I got kicked out. They caught me checking out the guys in the shower." Oh lord. Why is my shirt blue? It was totally red this morning. Maybe I should try to find someone to scrape the gum of the bottom of my shoe? Hey, Adam!
Keri
Diary, I lost the "Dear" somewhere between the couch and the wall. Anyway, for today's totally screwy news: Adam got a boyfriend! I kept trying to tell them I was "really really really happy" for them, but they were too busy making kissy faces and batting their eyelashes. Yuck. I've come to the conclusion that my cunning and stupid kitty Turpentine is insane. Oh well. She's got nothing on me. My brother Boris tells me that I should go out with Adam someday. He also has no idea that Adam is gay, which is mostly because Adam has a crush on Boris. Who is homophobic. I was thinking I would turn my life into a giant fishbowl, and then maybe the voices in my shoes wil go away. Yes, my shoes. My goal in life is to step on an elephants tail and jump into the Niagra falls. Then I will be complete.
Dear Diary, My head is full of fractions, cookies, and Pepsi. Maybe my life is a little screwed up. It's 8:05 in the morning and I'm sitting here wondering whether or not I was an Egyptian princess. Nah. I was definitely an Egyptian prostitute for the pharaoh. Oh yeah. Adam, my gay best friend, is back form military school. He says to me, " Keri, I got kicked out. They caught me checking out the guys in the shower." Oh lord. Why is my shirt blue? It was totally red this morning. Maybe I should try to find someone to scrape the gum of the bottom of my shoe? Hey, Adam!
Keri
Diary, I lost the "Dear" somewhere between the couch and the wall. Anyway, for today's totally screwy news: Adam got a boyfriend! I kept trying to tell them I was "really really really happy" for them, but they were too busy making kissy faces and batting their eyelashes. Yuck. I've come to the conclusion that my cunning and stupid kitty Turpentine is insane. Oh well. She's got nothing on me. My brother Boris tells me that I should go out with Adam someday. He also has no idea that Adam is gay, which is mostly because Adam has a crush on Boris. Who is homophobic. I was thinking I would turn my life into a giant fishbowl, and then maybe the voices in my shoes wil go away. Yes, my shoes. My goal in life is to step on an elephants tail and jump into the Niagra falls. Then I will be complete.